Vending machine!

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AntonGarou
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby AntonGarou » Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:09 pm UTC

you get an app for the beta version of iPhone.

I put in the Apple app store.
I'm not nitpicking, I'm quarkpicking!

popman
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oh hai!!!

Postby popman » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:27 pm UTC

you get the android market place.


I put a blue-ray disk with crude sketch porn on the shiny side.
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kaimason1
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby kaimason1 » Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:01 am UTC

You get a stern look and a TV from the machine.

I put in a one million dollar bill.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

Kaeyn
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kaeyn » Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:07 am UTC

You get a throaty, smoke-filled cough.

I put in all the receipts I've gathered from buying muffins at dairies.

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-KF-
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby -KF- » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:29 am UTC

You get the Diaries of the Muffin Man.

I put in a shoe.

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tastelikecoke
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby tastelikecoke » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:33 am UTC

You get an explosion

I put vending machine hacking nanobots

popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:25 pm UTC

you get a note about this vending machine being hack proof.


I put nothing in.
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kaimason1
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby kaimason1 » Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:14 pm UTC

You get everything out. Good luck with your new job as Universal Leader!

I put in popman, leader of the universe.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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-KF-
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby -KF- » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:50 pm UTC

The universe goes *pop*!

I put in air from my lungs.

Kaeyn
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kaeyn » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:46 am UTC

You get.... Hold on, the vending machine has started choking.

The vending machine vomits out a hideous oily mass of flesh.

I lightly prod it.

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kaimason1
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby kaimason1 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:53 am UTC

It vomits out another vending machine.

I put the vending machines inside each other, simultaneously.
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:52 pm UTC

you get popman,the leader of the universe


I put a bowler hat in.
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kashey
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby kashey » Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:06 pm UTC

you got The Wisden Cricketer - the world's no.1 cricket magazine

I put in my college diploma.

AntonGarou
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby AntonGarou » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:04 pm UTC

you get a proof it is fake

I put in Dr. Manhattan's hopes and dreams
I'm not nitpicking, I'm quarkpicking!

kashey
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby kashey » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:14 pm UTC

You get a blue *****

I put in the heart of gold.

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-KF-
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby -KF- » Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:19 am UTC

Something very improbable happens to you.

I put in a crossbow.

popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:17 pm UTC

you get a bag full of cats.


i put a betamax tape in.
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Nautilus
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Nautilus » Sat Apr 03, 2010 12:47 am UTC

You get a blu-ray disk out.


I put in a zombie pack of lips.
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popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:01 pm UTC

you get zombie toes.


i put a cat turd in.
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PhoenixEnigma
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:05 pm UTC

You get worms. Gave fun with that.

I pipe in some hoppin' tunes.
"Optimism, pessimism, fuck that; we're going to make it happen. As God is my bloody witness, I'm hell-bent on making it work." -Elon Musk
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tastelikecoke
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby tastelikecoke » Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:30 am UTC

You get pipin' empty rests and fermatas.

I put nitroglycerin in.

AntonGarou
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby AntonGarou » Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:32 am UTC

you get dynamite out.

I put a Klein bottle in
I'm not nitpicking, I'm quarkpicking!

popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:41 pm UTC

you get a dirty bottle out


i pun 3d glasses in
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Asmodieus
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Asmodieus » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:42 pm UTC

You get a hipster.

I put in a keybaord.
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popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Sun Apr 04, 2010 10:24 pm UTC

you get a mouse followed by a cat


I put a DVR in
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MisterCheif
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby MisterCheif » Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:47 am UTC

You get a note saying "Thanks. Now I can record my shows so I can watch them when you people stop shoving stuff in me!", along with a cookie.

I put in Dwarf Fortress 2010
I can haz people?
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tastelikecoke
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby tastelikecoke » Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:12 am UTC

You get flood out

I put huge hot-air balloons in

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PhoenixEnigma
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:26 am UTC

The vending machine floats away.

A large truck pulls up, and several burly movers get out. They unload a large box, which appears to be extremely heavy. After donning masks and heavy gloves, they remove a new vending machine. Then, a woman in a lab coat with round spectacles exits the truck. Under her direction, the movers connect the machine to several conduits, including power, water, sewage, fiber, and several you can't identify that appear to be labled in ancient greek. Finally, the woman in the lab coat connects what appears to be a highly modified and juryrigged laptop to a small port on the rear the machine, and spends a number of minutes typing furiously. The movers clean up the packing material, the woman in the coat disconnects and climbs back into the truck, and they all leave.

A quickstart guide comes out of the machine.
"Optimism, pessimism, fuck that; we're going to make it happen. As God is my bloody witness, I'm hell-bent on making it work." -Elon Musk
Shivahn wrote:I am a motherfucking sorceror.

popman
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:22 pm UTC

I get the quickstart guide


I put a usb hub in(as instructed)
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eaglef2
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby eaglef2 » Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:09 pm UTC

you get a swift kick to the balls

I put in you
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Kaeyn
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Kaeyn » Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:13 pm UTC

You get me, and a boot to the head.

I put in the old Thunderbirds comics I just found in my attic.

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tastelikecoke
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby tastelikecoke » Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:47 pm UTC

you get Thunderbird installer

I put in Irony.

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Me321
Posts: 164
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Me321 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:41 am UTC

you get the decoded value of Pi:

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288We'renostrangerstoloveYouknowtherulesandsodoI
Afullcommitment'swhatI'mthinkingofYouwouldn'tgetthisfromanyotherguyIjustwannatellyouh
owI'mfeelingGottamakeyouunderstandNevergonnagiveyouup,Nevergonnaletyoudown,Neve
rgonnarunaroundanddesertyou,Nevergonnamakeyoucry,Nevergonnasaygoodbye,Nevergonn
atellalieandhurtyouWe'veknowneachotherforsolongYourhe...


I put in a copy of Contact, (the book not the movie)

asiekierka
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby asiekierka » Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:38 am UTC

You get a contact with other beings from other realms!

I put in Me321.
If you think I deserve it, donate to 1MwkV2P8Vui21mBtMmzEyhWah5eQuXJnWD (bitcoin).

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FCN
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby FCN » Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:48 am UTC

You get out something that tastes like coke.

I put in a dog with bees in its mouth that when it barks shoots bees.
Spoiler:
LuNatic wrote:
Dear FCN,
You are:
a) Terrible, but in an awesome way.
or
b) Awesome, but in a terrible way.
I'm having difficulty deciding which.

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Me321
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Me321 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:32 am UTC

I pop out.

I put in Dr Pepper (R)

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tastelikecoke
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby tastelikecoke » Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:18 am UTC

You lost Dr Pepper (R)

I get Oil.

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PhoenixEnigma
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:16 pm UTC

Not having placed anything in the machine, you don't get anything. You do, however, recieve a call from a collection agency regarding your overdue vending machine account.

I put (swipe?) my work ID card in the machine.
"Optimism, pessimism, fuck that; we're going to make it happen. As God is my bloody witness, I'm hell-bent on making it work." -Elon Musk
Shivahn wrote:I am a motherfucking sorceror.

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Me321
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby Me321 » Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:06 pm UTC

You get next weeks paycheck early.

I put in a russian sub.

popman
Posts: 70
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Re: Vending machine!

Postby popman » Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:29 am UTC

you get a meatball sub.



I put a piece of paper with Graham's number on it in.
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