Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

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Lenary
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Lenary » Sun Apr 27, 2008 12:07 am UTC

"Can i has sisterz" :) :)
or even
"Can i has {haf|step}-sisterz" :) :) :)
My Tumblog

[imath]you = me (awesome + clothes)[/imath]
solve for awesome if you're a hot girl
Spoiler:
[imath]awesome = \frac{you}{me} - clothes[/imath]

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby vqcg » Sun Apr 27, 2008 4:08 pm UTC

"No! Don't do that, George Orwell!"
"what?"
"Sorry, I forgot your name wasn't George Orwell."
I had that ^^ conversation with my ex once. It wasn't during sex, but DAMN, it would have been MUCH funnier if it was. (Note: I have no idea what I was thinking).


The funniest thing that I've heard during foreplay, in an entirely serious voice ... "I give you my word ... I am not going to blow a raspberry on your fanny*"

*British English: fanny = pussy
vqcg :: 19/female/bisexual/British

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Thenzon » Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:25 am UTC

"Happy Birthday Grandma!"

yay for spreading disturbing mental imagery!

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i like pi
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby i like pi » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:32 pm UTC

Making slurping noises during the whole thing.
Or something to that effect. Hell, I don't know.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Wormwood » Mon May 05, 2008 3:14 am UTC

Thenzon wrote:"Happy Birthday Grandma!"

yay for spreading disturbing mental imagery!


Hehehehe
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby felltir » Mon May 05, 2008 6:15 pm UTC

*dial tone*
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby pseudoidiot » Mon May 05, 2008 6:16 pm UTC

"Take it out, Grandpa, I gotta go poopie." <-- courtesy of someone I was in the Army with.
Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Wanderingcowboy » Tue May 06, 2008 3:41 pm UTC

"By the way, your health insurance is paid up, right?
...
...
... just checking."
Randall on a skateboard!?
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Badion » Tue May 06, 2008 4:27 pm UTC

Sing "I can't fight this feeling, Deep insiide of mmeee" then stop. And sing "Hammer time" and speed up.
One of these things is not like the others.
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue May 06, 2008 4:32 pm UTC

"Never gonna give you up..."
Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
SecondTalon wrote:*swoons* I love you, all powerful pseudoidiot!
ShootTheChicken wrote:I can't stop thinking about pseudoidiot's penis.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby trvsdrlng » Wed May 07, 2008 3:31 am UTC

Spoiler:
pseudoidiot wrote:"Never gonna give you up..."

Damn you. Now I have that song stuck in my head. Damn you to the lowest circle of hell!


"Go, go, go, go, go... YES!!! TOUCHDOWN, PATRIOTS!!!"
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Wanderingcowboy » Wed May 07, 2008 3:33 am UTC

Hey Baby, I've got a .290 batting average, in bed.
Last edited by Wanderingcowboy on Wed May 07, 2008 9:00 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Randall on a skateboard!?
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby keozen » Wed May 07, 2008 8:59 am UTC

Ohhh Ahhh, just a little bit

Ohhh Ahh, Little bit more...

If you're from the UK and are old enough to get that I got a Sonya song stuck in your head, haha
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby vqcg » Wed May 07, 2008 9:03 am UTC

Not during sex, but my boyfriend has said to me in bed, in all seriousness, "I'm never gonna give you up."
I ... couldn't help it. Yes, I rickrolled him. In bed. Spoiled a cute moment. :lol:

edit to add...
worst-things-to-say-during-sex-that-have-really-happened-to-me:
"We should get married."
:? :x :? :|
vqcg :: 19/female/bisexual/British

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Sine Nomen » Wed May 07, 2008 1:55 pm UTC

Oh yeah, Fuck me like your sister!!!

BTW: A guy I used to work with thought this was quite a game. Said you need to get her from behind with your arms around her waist, then you shout out that phrase. If you can hang on for eight seconds, you win. Rodeo Sex he called it.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Wanderingcowboy » Thu May 08, 2008 11:02 am UTC

You've got a purty lil' mouth, just like my sister-daughter.
Randall on a skateboard!?
:mrgreen: <= This is my smiley. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My smiley is my best friend. It is my life. Without me, my smiley is useless. Without my smiley I am useless.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby keozen » Thu May 08, 2008 2:31 pm UTC

Just before climax:

Now smile for the camera!
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby backslash » Thu May 08, 2008 4:42 pm UTC

...yes...oh, yes...
...Oh, Yes!

...OH, NO!!!
"...life's too long to bother with suing Andrew fucking Lloyd Webber." -- Roger Waters

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Wanderingcowboy » Fri May 09, 2008 10:17 am UTC

"Thats it Mr. Giraffe, lick off all the marmalade."
Randall on a skateboard!?
:mrgreen: <= This is my smiley. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My smiley is my best friend. It is my life. Without me, my smiley is useless. Without my smiley I am useless.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby lazarus89 » Sun May 25, 2008 2:53 am UTC

Moo wrote:"ImgoingtohellImgoingtohellImgoingtohell"


Been there, done that.

She had issues, methinks.
pedant wrote:You drove your car off a cliff. Moments before your car hit the ground, I plugged you right between the eyes with a sniper rifle. Your car hits the ground and creates a dramatic fireball. How did you die?

Awesomely.

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ireitsch
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby ireitsch » Mon May 26, 2008 8:04 pm UTC

for ladies: In or out! You're letting cold air in!
for guys: I can't believe I'm doing this with someone with cooties.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Cheese » Thu May 29, 2008 1:10 pm UTC

keozen wrote:Ohhh Ahhh, just a little bit

Ohhh Ahh, Little bit more...

If you're from the UK and are old enough to get that I got a Sonya song stuck in your head, haha
*stabs*

I don't like you now... it'll take me hours to get that out of my head!

"Ewww, what's that?"
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby felltir » Thu May 29, 2008 2:27 pm UTC

Cheese wrote:
keozen wrote:Ohhh Ahhh, just a little bit

Ohhh Ahh, Little bit more...

If you're from the UK and are old enough to get that I got a Sonya song stuck in your head, haha
*stabs*

I don't like you now... it'll take me hours to get that out of my head!

"Ewww, what's that?"


I hate you both. Keo for posting it, and Cheese for bringing it back!

"Can my dad join in?"
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


Blog

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby MythGuyDK » Thu May 29, 2008 8:57 pm UTC

Before/During/After Oral:
- From performer:
"Tastes like chicken."
"I wonder how hard I'd have to bite to detach that." (dick/clit)
(for guys) "SWAN DIVE!"
"That isn't my tongue."
(for guys) "Caves! They're EVERYWHERE!"
"What are these lice-like things?"
(for guys) "I wonder if I can make your uterus a balloon."
"Maybe we should mass-produce and sell this stuff?"
(for girls) "I brought a grill because I only like cooked meat."
"I wonder if that attracts more flies than honey."
"I braided your public hair while I did that."
"You shave? Well so much for waxing."
"With some aging this could be good wine."
- From, uh, "enjoyer":
(for guys) "Yeah! suck that clit!"
(for guys) "I hope you like urine."
"Mouthwash of champions!" (can be used for both sexes and in any position)
- 69:
"We should try 96."

Vaginal:
"FLOOOOOOOOOD!"
"I'll get some superglue."

Anal (g=guy, f=female):
g"Oh! You said not to."
g"Better birth control than abstenance!"
g"Later I'll use a 3 liter bottle."
g"RIIIP!"
f"Oh. I DID have to go."
f"I had mexican for lunch."
g"Oops! Where's the lube and where does superglue go?
f"Are you in yet?" (make sure he is!)
g"Wow, it's no surprise you can pull such extravagant excuses out of your ass with no injury." (not wise unless you like the thought of be abstenant.)
g"It's like a temple!" (not wise again.)
g"Why can't you be tubgirl?"
g"So we're doing vaginal after, right?... Good. Oh, plumber said water's off."

General sex:
g"I have staked out my territory in the ways of the animals."
"Can't you do anything right?"
"Where's the cream filling?"
"I'll need to edit my facebook tomorrow."
"Your sister/brother! That's who this reminds me of."
"Ok, I can live with this while your sister/brother becomes legal."
"FEEL THE BURN! FRICTION BURN!"
g"You good, but I'd rather have Tandy, from one of the Xanth books."
g"While I have this chinese finger trap on, don't poke at my penis."
"Oh, I forgot, I invited all your coworkers to a party in your room."
g(as she's leaving) "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie.."
"Hmm... If Adam and Eve felt ashamed by their nakedness after eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, even if it was only them, then why don't we feel ashamed being naked right now, even if it's just us?"
f"JESUS CHRIST! He'd have been MUCH better."
"You pass this time."
"You sent me to HEAVEN! Then brought me back then to hell."
"the phone sex was better."
g"They call you a butterface but I see no butter."
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"
f"If I say 'stop' and you're on a downstroke then I can charge you with rape."
g(while fisting) "FALCON PUNCH! FAlCON PUNCH!..."
g(while fisting) "It's like a dummy!"

That's all.
Exactly!

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Kalsan » Thu May 29, 2008 11:22 pm UTC

1. Myth your very creepy
2.ewww


3. Girl: By the way i stoped using the pill a month ago...
Guy: I know, thats why I super glued your baby machine up.
Girl: :shock:

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Plasma Man » Fri May 30, 2008 7:14 pm UTC

"You fucking bitch, you fucking whore!"
"Sudo make me a sandwich"
"Inches longer, inches stronger"
"Mine is short, but powerful"
"So, stalking you on Facebook paid off"
"Ewwww, you're all squidgy"

Or pretty much anything after having inhaled helium.
Please note that despite the lovely avatar Sungura gave me, I am not a medical doctor.

Possibly my proudest moment on the fora.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby lazarus89 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:18 am UTC

Plasma Man wrote:"You fucking bitch, you fucking whore!"


Never had angry sex, have you? In small doses, it can be the hottest kind of sex.
pedant wrote:You drove your car off a cliff. Moments before your car hit the ground, I plugged you right between the eyes with a sniper rifle. Your car hits the ground and creates a dramatic fireball. How did you die?

Awesomely.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby keozen » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:31 am UTC

"With this cockring I thee wed..."
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby felltir » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:15 pm UTC

As long as you wash out with coke after, it's fine..
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby lazarus89 » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:23 pm UTC

"Stop. My pearls-- they just snapped!"

:: spends next half hour trying to find outsized pearls in/around bed ::

Damned ivy league girls...
pedant wrote:You drove your car off a cliff. Moments before your car hit the ground, I plugged you right between the eyes with a sniper rifle. Your car hits the ground and creates a dramatic fireball. How did you die?

Awesomely.

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby malec2b » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:35 pm UTC

Start in a low drone, saying "Badger" over and over in rythm. Start to build up untill you reach climax, at which point you shout out "MUSHROOM MUSHROOM"

Then afterwards point to your penis (or his depending on which of you has one) and sing "it's a snake, it's a snake, it's a snake"

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:58 pm UTC

for girls: all your sperm are belong to me.
Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
SecondTalon wrote:*swoons* I love you, all powerful pseudoidiot!
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Megatriorchis » Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:32 am UTC

"RIDE THE WALRUS!"

"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY."
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby bbctol » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:58 am UTC

OH GOD I LUUUUUUUUV MUDKIPZ!!

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby felltir » Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:37 am UTC

"Surpise!"
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


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he/him/his

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby keozen » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:08 am UTC

malec2b wrote:Start in a low drone, saying "Badger" over and over in rythm. Start to build up untill you reach climax, at which point you shout out "MUSHROOM MUSHROOM"

Then afterwards point to your penis (or his depending on which of you has one) and sing "it's a snake, it's a snake, it's a snake"


Oh me yarm I cried laughing at this one.
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby keozen » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:39 am UTC

How about

"STOP!!! We need to go post in the 'nude thread' in 'ls&r' on the fora!"
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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Moo » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:51 am UTC

I have a better idea, Keo, how about just "Keo'd!!"? :twisted:
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Artemisia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:03 pm UTC

oh, innuendo you're killing me ;)

Moo you are aware of the way you are involved in our sex life now, arent ya? :P
Damn you, weird images :roll: :mrgreen:
This too shall pass

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Re: Worst Things to Shout Out During Sex

Postby Moo » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:39 pm UTC

*shakes head to dispell the mental pictures* ... it's not really working...

hmm, there is no "weirded out" emoticon.


...then again, this is the most interesting thing to happen to my sex life in ages :lol:
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"


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