Escape from Raptors

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

blademan9999
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 5:18 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby blademan9999 » Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:51 am UTC

You get caught and eaten by flying raptors.

I rick roll all of them.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
That link kills spam[/size][/b][/u]

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:27 pm UTC

I should have known it. I can't deny that raptors were flying because wikipedia says raptors were related to birds: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velociraptor#Feathers
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:35 am UTC

I rick roll you.

I cheat.

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:02 pm UTC

For cheating, the casinos kick you out into the streets, where the raptors roam.

I drive a truck filled water and beef jerky to the top of a remote desert mountain and camp out there. I also bring a shotgun that can turn sand into shotgun shells that are powerful enough to shoot raptors out of the sky, powered by the sun through a microscopic wormhole. To warn me of raptors, I also bring a solar powered radar kit.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:15 pm UTC

the box marked beef jerky actually contains bobcat a small raptor. it catches you by surprise when you go for a tasty snack.

i offer them pistachios. everyone likes those.
Image

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:29 pm UTC

The raptors love their kung-pao human flesh, flavored with those pistachios. You are now part of a delicious Chinese dish prepared specially for the raptors.

I create a dome of thorny blackberry vines all around me. I bury highly radioactive chemicals underneath to stop any burrowing. I irradiate all of the food and water I bring in.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

blademan9999
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 5:18 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby blademan9999 » Thu Oct 17, 2013 4:39 am UTC

Since you never answered my rickroll question the energy of it creates a portal to where you are and destroys you're defences allowing raptors to get you.

I rick roll all of them.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
That link kills spam[/size][/b][/u]

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Oct 18, 2013 4:49 pm UTC

they get pissed and eat you for doing that. they were actually gonna let you live cuz you seemed cool.

i give the raptors brain bleach for the rick roll, and as a side effect, they forget about my existence. i am but a shadow among men.
Image

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:36 am UTC

The raptors are even willing to eat our own shadows to satisfy their apetite for human flesh.

I steal the face of every raptor, including jdj42.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

blademan9999
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 5:18 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby blademan9999 » Sat Oct 19, 2013 12:02 pm UTC

Their faces eat you.
I erase the rick roll event from history so they think I'm a cool guy and let me live.
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
That link kills spam[/size][/b][/u]

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:43 pm UTC

I kill you for owing me money.

I nuke the raptors.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:52 pm UTC

you only fit about one or two in your tiny microwave before the others get pissed and eat you.

i paint myself to blend in with my surroundings, cover myself in raptor urine, and skulk about in the forest, living off the land.
Image

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:05 pm UTC

You get killed by a grammar nazi.

Change the thread to you do not kill flicky, and use him as a bludgeoning weapon.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:54 pm UTC

The raptor forum moderators eat you for wielding god powers in a thread you do not moderate.

I use more proper grammar in an attempt to please the raptors and not die.
Image

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:35 pm UTC

The raptors weren't the grammar nazis.

I arrest the raptors for premeditated murder, along with the raptor defense attorneys and judges.

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:55 am UTC

Luckily, Zeus Hammerspace, Ace Attorney, is here.

I tap some papers against my hand and begin to read off all the illegal things the raptors have done so far.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Oct 25, 2013 11:35 pm UTC

they are all pardoned by the raptor in chief, and then he personally flies down on raptor force one to meet you. and then eat you.

i strip all my clothesmaking the raptors jealous over my man parts. they cannot stop being jealous and somewhat dumbfounded, and don't notice when i slip out and run.
Image

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:38 am UTC

The raptors eat you both out of jealousy and out of a craving for your man parts (in their esophagus) as soon as the raptors, who always come late, arrive.

I exploit loopholes. The raptors have threatened that they will eat me wherever I stand. I sit in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:48 pm UTC

I steal your wheelchair.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:40 pm UTC

the raptors eat you as you stand in the middle of the street with a dazed look upon your face, as you took no action. also, they wonder why you have a wheelchair.

i tie up the other members of this thread and one by one, use them as bait to escape to the mountains, where the raptors can't climb.
Image

jdj42
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:36 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby jdj42 » Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:30 pm UTC

It turns out they can fly.

I point out how raptors really are.

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:43 am UTC

The raptors determine that you know too much, and eat you to stop you from spreading your knowledge to everyone.

I enter the mouth of a blue whale, the biggest kind of whale in the world, which eats nothing but plankton and shrimp. Water raptors aren't any bigger than alligators, and are too scared to get near big whales.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:41 am UTC

raptors develop a taste for whales as well. they eat their way into your whale, and find a surprise inside, like a kinder egg. except this one is a screaming bloody tasty mess.

I steal a solar powered aircraft that can stay up indefinitely, and survive with the birds i find and condensed water vapor to drink.
Image

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:12 am UTC

I turn off the sun, thus killing your aircraft and freezing the raptors to death.

However, I am hiding in my spaceship full of warm!

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:53 am UTC

your spaceship of +20 warmth was crafted by raptor engineers. one of whom stowed away on board during the launch. she eats you to feed her raptor babies, and then turns the sun back on. clever girl.

I survive the aircrafts crash and survive the extreme cold with traditional inuit methods.
Image

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:27 pm UTC

The Inuit were actually disguised Raptors, and by using their methods you cause the raptors to find you more easily.

I hitch a ride on a time machine to go forward until the raptors are extinct.

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:31 pm UTC

the raptors build a second one, because you stole theirs. they go back to when you took it, and eat you.

i open a wildly attractive coffee shop called raptorbucks, and all the raptors adore me. (and don't eat me.
Image

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:41 pm UTC

The future raptors don't adore you, and use their time machines to prevent Raptorbucks ever being made. Also they eat you.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby dzamie » Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:20 pm UTC

The raptors wonder why you're not resisting, then eat you regardless.

I run away with the Doctor. That, hopefully, gets me at least a season's worth of life, if not more. It worked for Mickey.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:14 pm UTC

What you think to be the Doctor is actually the Master, who is actually a raptor. You're quickly devoured, although you taste so bad it causes the raptor to die and regenerate into me.

I AM THE RAPTORS

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby dzamie » Thu Nov 14, 2013 11:04 pm UTC

The raptors' keen senses detect a second heart, and kill you by pyre.

I obtain Spy's Cloak and Dagger and Dead Ringer, manipulating mechanics to equip and use both at once. With those two on, I go about my life slowly but undetectably.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:35 am UTC

pytor (pyro raptor) randomly burns the map with his flamethrower until he hits you, then roasts you. deliciously roasted, you make an excellent snack.

i become a bard and make a deal with the raptors to put their killings to song to make it more epic, which they enjoy.
Image

User avatar
Zeus Hammerspace
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:21 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Zeus Hammerspace » Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:33 am UTC

The raptors soon realized that no one ever actually needs a bard in their party, and devour you mid-ballad.

I hide inside my Bag of Holding.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby dzamie » Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:38 pm UTC

A raptor pulls you out of the Bag of Holding, having claimed ownership of it.

I allow myself to die on my Quest Bed, thus ascending to God Tier.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:37 pm UTC

unfortunately the other god tier raptors dislike you, and eat you. repeatedly.

in a flash of insight, i explain to the hungry raptors that a multiclassing bard can be a good thing to their party. i also show them my sword of +1 coolness.
Image

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:37 am UTC

The raptors don't consider you valuable enough to be worth your share of loot, so they consume you using their +5 teeth of rending flesh from bones.

I purchase and hide inside a house that is specially designed in such a way that it is unfindable unless you know its address, which is a fraction between 2 obvious consecutive integer addresses.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby dzamie » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:50 am UTC

A raptor sneaks in with you. He ponders using this as the plot for a wacky sitcom, but decides to just devour you.

I learn the ways of the Roadrunner and comically evade the raptors at every turn.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
bug sniper
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:29 am UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby bug sniper » Sun Nov 24, 2013 3:24 am UTC

You run away from the raptors into a painting on a wall, and enter it. One of the raptors suffers a concussion from running into the wall. However, there are also a number of offscreen raptors in the painting. Before you are able to get out of the painting, the other raptors team up and knock over the wall so that the painting side is at the bottom, against the floor. You only run into the floor.

I take out a business loan and assign the raptors as collateral. I default on this loan. The debt collectors come to take away the raptors.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby dzamie » Sun Nov 24, 2013 3:55 am UTC

The debt collectors are also raptors, who vanish in a puff of logic upon trying to take themselves as collateral. The other raptors are free to eat you.

I make sure to keep at least 5 cans of Bonk! Cola on me at all times.

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
Tomlidich the second
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:38 pm UTC

Re: Escape from Raptors

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:25 pm UTC

bonk! cola is actually canned raptor. raptors leap out of the can and devour you.

i travel all the way to the top of the eiffel tower, and balance on top. raptors, being terrible climbers, cannot get me, and if they mircaulously make it, i kick them off.
Image


Return to “Forum Games”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 34 guests