Corrupt-a-wish

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Kain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Kain » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:27 pm UTC

Granted. Now they alternate between being totally blind, and requiring you to wear four inch thick glasses.

I wish there were more hours in each day.
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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:29 pm UTC

Granted, but due to the decrease in earth's rotational speed massive climate change causes the end of all life.

I wish I wouldn't keep accidentally pressing the semicolon key instead of the apostraphe key.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby EduardoLeon » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:48 pm UTC

Granted. Your semicolon key is now replaced by the now infamous ANY key.

I wish every country had a totalitarian capitalist state. Democracy is sooo overrated.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein!

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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:50 pm UTC

Granted, humanity as we know it is destroyed, the poor remain uneducated, underfed and oppressed, no one questions anything any more, government becomes hopelessly corrupt and innefficient and the societal pull of constant aquisition and consumption depletes all resources. Eventually civilisation collapses.

I wish countries didn't exist.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby EduardoLeon » Mon Oct 26, 2009 2:55 pm UTC

King of Frogs wrote:Granted, humanity as we know it is destroyed, the poor remain uneducated, underfed and oppressed, no one questions anything any more, government becomes hopelessly corrupt and innefficient and the societal pull of constant aquisition and consumption depletes all resources. Eventually civilisation collapses.


As long as I survive, I don't think it's a bad outcome. Anyways, back to your wish...

Granted! Everyone is a micro-country him or herself, and is in permanent war against each other.

I wish I could make good use of all the corrupt governments in the world, in terms of my wallet and bank accounts.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein!

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Woodsman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Woodsman » Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:29 pm UTC

Granted. However, the corrupt governments' secret services find you out, and you are hunted down by assassins of every major state.

I wish there was a way to make everyone understand the (non-)value of money.

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Phrozt
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Phrozt » Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:32 pm UTC

Granted! Now everyone's a smelly hippie and to high to keep society going, thus ending the age of knowledge and progress as we know it.

I wish women weren't rotten whores.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby EduardoLeon » Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:05 pm UTC

Woodsman wrote:Granted. However, the corrupt governments' secret services find you out, and you are hunted down by assassins of every major state.

Wow, that would be dying like a hero!

Granted. From now on, every woman is a saint. They won't "do that" with anybody, for it's a horrible sin. Thus, we can't reproduce. The human race disappears as a consequence.

I wish everyone could understand mathematical finance. It's not that hard.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:33 pm UTC

Denied! Instead no one understands mathematical finance... Surprisingly little changes.

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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:02 pm UTC

Granted. O look! It just bounced out the window and down the street. You'll never see it again.

I wish the Ares I-X rocket will launch before I have to go back to class so I can watch it.
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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:05 pm UTC

Granted, but misfired and lands on you. Only on you.

I wish the original members of The Who were all still alive.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Duban » Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:49 pm UTC

Done, the dead members of the who come back to life for one reunion concert. Unfortunately their bodies aren't whole enough to play half decently. It sounds awful and every other sentence, if you can call their mess a sentence, they mumble something about brains into the mic.

I wish the homework and tests for my Computer networking class would actually line up with what the professor teaches in class.
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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Tue Oct 27, 2009 5:36 pm UTC

Granted. The homework and tests completely match what the professor taught in class... in Psychoanalysis 101.

I wish food weren't so expensive.
I mean, it's really not so expensive, but you have to keep buying more of it, so it adds up.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby demonpoptart » Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:17 am UTC

granted. your next meal is your last.

i wish i had all of my classwork finished already.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:51 am UTC

Granted! Every single question is done... Completely and totally wrong... But it's done.

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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:00 am UTC

Granted. But life hates you more.

I wish my professors were even slightly better at their jobs.
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Kain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Kain » Wed Oct 28, 2009 4:48 pm UTC

Granted. They suddenly realize you are a horrible student, and expell you.

I wish I could go back in time 2 hours to watch the 1-X launch (stupid falling asleep at precisely the wrong time)...
Look, you know it's serious when a bunch of people in full armor and gear come charging in to fight a pond of chickens - Steax

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Brooklynxman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Brooklynxman » Wed Oct 28, 2009 4:50 pm UTC

Granted. You meet yourself in his new parrelel universe, destroying it and killing you both.

I wish I could be a superhero.
We figure out what all this means, then do something large and violent

The thing about changing the world...once you do it the world's all different.

I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.

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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Wed Oct 28, 2009 4:55 pm UTC

Granted, your power is to explode at will. You can only really do it once, but it's a big explosion.
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Vohu Manah
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:01 am UTC

Wishometer 1000; I wish that Vohu knew how to dance
Granted. He dances so well that you become jealous.

I wish for a calendar that would automatically change days/months.
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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:22 pm UTC

Granted, it does this at random.

I wish for merangue.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:24 pm UTC

Granted! You get it back in pie form. I'd consider ducking if I were... Too late.

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Arachnid Tiger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arachnid Tiger » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:17 am UTC

Wish granted, but every time you win, you brag on and on, therefore making nobody want to play with you. Ever.

I wish i had a gun with ultimate rocket power.
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eaglef2
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eaglef2 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:51 am UTC

granted, "you're blasting off again!!!" (honestly who didn't see that coming?)

I wish for you to make a wish in a thread titled Corrupt-a-wish in the Forum Games section on the website http://forums.xkcd.com
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Arachnid Tiger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arachnid Tiger » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:38 am UTC

Wish granted, but the wish wants you dead.

I wish that eaglef2 was dead.

No offense...
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RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:05 am UTC

Denied! eaglef2 is now immortal! Now faster, stronger, smarter, and just generally better than everyone else, eaglef2 devotes the next 10 years to hunting down Arachnid Tiger. After destroying eaglef2's enemy, eaglef2 devotes the remainder of eternity to perfecting wish corruptions for xkcd's Corrupt-a-wish thread, which lives forever.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Deez » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:30 am UTC

Granted, but you can't prevent yourself from visiting goatse and other such shock sites constantly.

I wish it was friday

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Vohu Manah
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Vohu Manah » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:51 am UTC

Granted, it's now Friday the 13th. You get stuck in an elevator with a tea bagger telling you how Obama's communist agenda is from the devil.

I wish that teenage relationships weren't so complicated.
Isaac Hill wrote:If this tetonic plate's rockin' such that it registers no less than 6.1 on the Richter scale, don't come a knockin'.

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Max2009
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Max2009 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:52 am UTC

Hah. Denied. That's a fundamental truth of the universe, can't grant that.

I wish for some chocolate pie.
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Patman
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Patman » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:36 am UTC

Have this tiny teaspoon of the most delicious chocolate pie and I will enjoy the rest.

I wish for a new house with a lush deck, close to town that I will live in during the summer.

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Phrozt
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Phrozt » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:58 pm UTC

Granted. A brand new refrigerator box falls off of a truck, placing itself perfectly under a bridge. An alcoholic whore crashes right in from of the box opening that you have to step on every time you get out of your new summer home.

I wish I had a new pair of pants.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:29 am UTC

Granted! They are the most wonderful, comfortable pants you've ever seen or worn in your life. Wearing them is an incredible, near orgasmic experience. However, the next day your right leg is run over by a train/trolley. The pants are ruined, and you will never walk again.

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EduardoLeon
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby EduardoLeon » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:02 am UTC

Granted. But now time and space will be irrelevant dimensions, and the most important dimensions of the universe will be some that we don't complete understand.

I wish I was hard-working.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein!

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videogamesizzle
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby videogamesizzle » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:05 am UTC

Granted! You now have no free time.

I wish I had a fedora.
Look at me still talking when there's SCIENCE to do!
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kernelpanic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby kernelpanic » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:08 am UTC

Granted! You are confused with a 1920's gangster and sent to jail.

I wish I had some ferrofluid and a strong magnet to play with.
I'm not disorganized. My room has a high entropy.
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RedBandit
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RedBandit » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:19 am UTC

Granted! However, the ferrofluid is rusted and your U-magnet gets snapped in half by an angry mob protesting your failed demonstration of ferrofluid sculpture. You get a black eye during the small riot.

I wish for a single, guiltless pleasure.
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videogamesizzle
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby videogamesizzle » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:53 am UTC

Granted! Your pleasure is killing babies. You feel no guilt, but are still arrested.

I wish I could be in love.
Look at me still talking when there's SCIENCE to do!
Silvyr wrote:I fucking love cocaine. I wish I could buy it somewhere...

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Arachnid Tiger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arachnid Tiger » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:56 am UTC

Wish denied! That unattractive lenses and fugly hat block the power of the wish.

I wish i was no longer a virgin.
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videogamesizzle
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby videogamesizzle » Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:58 am UTC

Granted! You lose it to the man with the "unattractive lenses and fugly hat." What now?

I wish I had a cheeseburger.
Look at me still talking when there's SCIENCE to do!
Silvyr wrote:I fucking love cocaine. I wish I could buy it somewhere...

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Arachnid Tiger
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Arachnid Tiger » Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:02 am UTC

Wish granted, but it gets stolen by a fat darkish-greyish kitty cat.

I wish i was invincible...
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