Corrupt-a-wish

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:35 am UTC

Granted. But your selection of who to listen in on and when is extremely poor, and you come out both none the wiser and deeply disturbed by what you hear.

I wish I had a self-training puppy.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:33 am UTC

Granted, the puppy is self-trained to kill its master once it's big enough.

I wish for girlfriend, a sexy one.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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Tomlidich
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich » Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:19 pm UTC

Granted, but she turns out to be a real bitch, controlling,and wont shut heck up.

I wish for a better life than the one I got.

ddog
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ddog » Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:31 pm UTC

Granted. Your life is as you consider, perfect. Too bad it lasts about three seconds from now.

I wish for a coffee.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:15 am UTC

Granted, but it's the coffee Lady Astor wanted to give to Churchill. (i.e. poisoned)

I wish my proctor for the PSATs tomorrow wasn't my horrible french teacher.

ibgdude
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ibgdude » Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:01 am UTC

Granted. Your proctor is in Alaska.

I wish that standardized tests were open ended in difficulty, allowing smarter people to actually demonstrate it.
Hawknc wrote:This is the easiest question ever asked on the forum, and you guys turn it into a two-page debate.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:13 am UTC

Granted, you've got 'C Programming Language Literacy Test'

I wish for girlfriend, a naughty one.
I wish I weren't so stupid

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:18 pm UTC

Granted, she's currently wanted in 37 states and Austria.

I wish I was less bored.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:48 pm UTC

Granted. Now this response makes you less bored. Enjoy!

I wish for a hot girlfriend and is very bad (and is not wanted for any crimes)
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:29 am UTC

Granted, she's very good at covering her tracks.

I wish for a construction yard, a barracks, war factory, and orbital ion cannon.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:32 am UTC

Granted. You own all those things, but they're on a faraway planet where you can't actually use them.

I wish I could remember what that thing that I really wanted to wish for was. It was a really good one.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:00 am UTC

Granted, but no one will grant it.

I wish for immunity to all diseases.

ibgdude
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ibgdude » Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:38 am UTC

Granted. Your immune system goes crazy, and you become allergic to Everything.
I wish for no one to grant this wish.
Hawknc wrote:This is the easiest question ever asked on the forum, and you guys turn it into a two-page debate.

...Don't ever change.

Six pages and still going.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:49 am UTC

Granted. Your wish is left unfunded, your dreams of working on it die, and you return to performing menial labor for the remainder of your life.

I wish for cockroaches to go extinct.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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Plasma_Wolf
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:42 am UTC

Granted. They are instantly replaced by hungry wolves.

I wish I was taller.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:58 pm UTC

Granted, but everything in the universe is scaled to fit your new height. (i.e. You get 20% taller, so does everything else)

I wish Sarah Palin was running for President so I could make fun of how dumb she is.

Meem1029
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Meem1029 » Sun Oct 16, 2011 7:04 pm UTC

Granted, but then she wins and punishes everyone who made fun of her. Have fun in your life sentence of torture 24/7!

I wish that I didn't have to do my homework.
cjmcjmcjmcjm wrote:If it can't be done in an 80x24 terminal, it's not worth doing

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Mon Oct 17, 2011 2:57 am UTC

Heh. Location updated. :mrgreen:

Granted. You don't have to do your homework. You don't have to go to college, either.

I wish all of my computer gizmos had perfect magnetic shielding, and I knew it, so that I could keep powerful magnets to play with around my computer without worrying that they would erase the hard drive or do other undesirable things.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Oct 17, 2011 3:24 am UTC

Granted, the fire-alarm sprinklers go off, and none of your electronics are waterproof.

I wish for courts to have the ability to determine guilt/innocence with 100% accuracy.

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Lorenz
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lorenz » Mon Oct 17, 2011 3:40 am UTC

Granted, and you are found guilty. You are sentenced to life in prison.

I wish the prison CorruptUser is in to be 100% inescapable.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Mon Oct 17, 2011 4:15 am UTC

Granted. However, he has an excellent lawyer and he gets pardoned within a few weeks.

I wish I had Lorenz's lawyer working for me (and I could afford him!)
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Mon Oct 17, 2011 5:06 am UTC

Granted, but he is going up against my lawyer. Not involving me of course, no biting the hand that fed you and all.

I wish for you to settle out of court.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Mon Oct 17, 2011 7:19 pm UTC

Granted, but you still end up in jail.

I wish my school offered AP Economics.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:06 am UTC

Granted. However, it's actually a front for an AP chemistry operation with all the dodgy goings on that entails.

I wish I had a prehensile tail.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:14 am UTC

Granted, but it strangles you.

I wish my pre-calc homework was done.

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Plasma_Wolf
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:14 am UTC

Granted. I've done it for you but then I gave it to the dog.

I wish my study didn't involve so much work.

Demosthenes
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Demosthenes » Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:33 am UTC

Granted, but the kid you payed $50 got the answers wrong.

I wish for root beer.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Wed Oct 19, 2011 5:04 am UTC

Granted. But it would have been far cheaper to buy it outright than it will be to replace the computer you now have to extract it from.

I wish to be like Team Rocket, and denounce the evils of truth and love.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:51 pm UTC

granted, you still get blasted by Pikachu.

I wish for more money.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

Outchanter
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Outchanter » Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:40 pm UTC

You start working several part time jobs. You now have more money, but no time to enjoy it.

I wish for nicer genies.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:21 am UTC

Granted, you have Geany

I wish for sexier IDE for multiple programming languages
I wish I weren't so stupid

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:51 am UTC

Granted. However, you find it very difficult to program when your IDE is constantly flirting with you.

I wish for high-quality artificial wombs so that I can perform human genetics experiments.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

cephron
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby cephron » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:22 am UTC

Granted. You end up producing Khan Noonien Singh.


I wish that Adam and Eve hadn't eaten the fruit.

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Plasma_Wolf
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:43 pm UTC

Granted, but the snake ate it instead and framed Adam and Eve so nothing really changes.

I wish I knew what would happen tomorrow.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:47 pm UTC

Granted, you see your own death.

I wish my FBLA chapter had raised more than just $200 (For context, last year we raised over $700, so this is pretty pathetic)

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Millumi
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Millumi » Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:04 am UTC

Granted, a bank robber tripped in front of someone and dropped a bag with a million dollars in it, and your FBLA chapter picked it up(raised it) to give it back.

I wish the next poster would make this wish to make the next poster make this wish.
Omnia vincit veritas.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:24 am UTC

Granted, the next poster made the wish to make the next poster make the wish.

I wish the next poster would make this wish to make the next poster make this wish.
I wish I weren't so stupid

Scilly_Guy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Scilly_Guy » Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:22 am UTC

Granted, but the next poster made the wish to a different Genie.

I wish I understood women.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Oct 23, 2011 8:48 pm UTC

Granted, you are now a woman.

I wish River Rage and Quizbowl weren't on the same day.

Scilly_Guy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Scilly_Guy » Sun Oct 23, 2011 11:05 pm UTC

Granted River Rage is permanently cancelled.

I wish the Haven and Hearth server was back up.


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