Corrupt-a-wish

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HungryHobo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HungryHobo » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:57 pm UTC

granted, you must escape the room before the poison gas is released despite being chained by the leg. all you have is a saw which isn't strong enough to cut the chain.

I wish for consonants.
Give a man a fish, he owes you one fish. Teach a man to fish, you give up your monopoly on fisheries.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:02 pm UTC

Granted. it is the same person who is screwing with Madjo just for fun.

I wish for a book on what men know about women
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:59 pm UTC

Granted, it's written in Sumerian.

I wish I had a nice 6-pack of beer.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:38 pm UTC

Granted. All the cans are empty, but still in the 6-pack ring.

I wish for a book about all men know about women in english this time.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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King of Frogs
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby King of Frogs » Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:38 pm UTC

Granted, but its written by horribly sexist men.

I wish more people posted on this thread.
The first one to fall asleep when the revolution comes.
Cheese wrote:We should never talk ever again. Ever.

michaelandjimi wrote:"No, cease your sexual activities! The communists will invade!"

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:21 am UTC

Granted, but Tom is still missing.

I wish I didn't have to do my stupid marketing project.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:41 am UTC

Granted, you quit your job.

I wish I were cuter.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:08 pm UTC

Granted, you are now cuter than kittens. Still people find kittens more adorable than you.

I wish I had a third hand.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:20 pm UTC

Granted, it is the size of an atom.

I wish Tom was back.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:48 pm UTC

Granted. He is back on another thread (maybe the Raptor one) and enjoying it. He did not return here.

I wish for a faster computer.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:45 pm UTC

Granted. It's so fast that it runs away and you can't catch it. You never see it again.

I wish that I had telekinetic powers like I dreamed about last night. Particularly the part where I was drawing pictures with only the power of my mind. That was so fun.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:13 pm UTC

Granted, you can now move things in your dreams more efficiently.

I wish I knew another instrument.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:53 am UTC

Granted, you now know the triangle.

I wish I weren't so lazy.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:11 am UTC

Granted. You are now too efficient and solve all the problems in the world. This is achieved by your death. Sorry.

I wish for the answer to either be yes or no.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:21 am UTC

Granted. "Have you stopped beating your spouse yet?"

I wish for whirled peas.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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jendral_hxr
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jendral_hxr » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:12 am UTC

Granted, then you found peas no longer interesting and love peanuts afterwards.

I wish I were way cuter than kittens.
I wish I weren't so stupid

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:32 am UTC

Granted. Now you are a chipmunk. Animal control mistaken you for a rabid chipmunk and kill you.

I wish for new Peanuts cartoons instead of repeats.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:12 pm UTC

Granted, but it's illustrated by Stan Lee.

I wish I could remember my dream from last night.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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RollingHead
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby RollingHead » Fri Dec 09, 2011 6:17 pm UTC

Granted, it was a very realistic nightmare that shook the foundations of your sanity and prevented you from going back to sleep for days.

I wish the wonderful dream I had the other night were real.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:52 pm UTC

Granted, but then you lose faith in reality and choose not to wake up from your sleep by placing yourself into coma. The dream faded away and you are stuck there now.

I wish for a trick deck of cards to do magic with.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:34 am UTC

granted, but the trick is on you. as it turns out to be an ordinary deck of cards.

I wish for magic to be real.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

adfes
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby adfes » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:35 pm UTC

Granted, welcome to Disney World!

I wish i could control the metal like Magneto does.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:04 pm UTC

Granted. Now you can sue utensils in a restaurant like a normal person.

I wish for the ability to play EVERY instrument in the world.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:11 am UTC

Sure, but you can't read a single note.

I wish that xkcd follower could learn notes... his music sounds terribly off-key.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:45 am UTC

Granted. I learn notes but forgot how to play the instruments. thanks..

I wish Madjo could hear better music then the one im making
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:06 pm UTC

Granted, it's a ringtone of the Harry Potter music on repeat. Thanks a lot! /s

I wish that the person with that bloody awful ringtone to get a normal one, like the Nokia ringtone or something.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:37 pm UTC

Granted. Now you listen to a "normal" ringtone of Justin Beiber. There is no way to change it and any new phone automatically has it.

I wish for more people to be on this page.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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Cathy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Cathy » Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:59 pm UTC

xkcd follower wrote:I wish for more people to be on this page.

Granted, but they always leave right before you get to it and they never post.
Amie wrote:Cathy, I now declare you to be an awesome person, by the powers vested in me by nobody, really.
yurell wrote:We need fewer homoeopaths, that way they'll be more potent!

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:47 am UTC

I wish for the person above me to have posted a question for us to continue the game.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

Randomizer
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Randomizer » Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:37 pm UTC

Granted. You click on "User Control Panel", "Board preferences", "Edit display options", and under "Display post order direction:" you set it to "Descending". And since you asked for a question rather than a wish: "What time is it?"

I wish my smoke detector wouldn't go off when I'm cooking.
Belial wrote:I'm all outraged out. Call me when the violent rebellion starts.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:21 am UTC

Granted, it only goes off when there is no smoke around now.

I wish for easy tests tomorrow.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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madjo
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby madjo » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:05 am UTC

Granted, they are easy tests on string theory.

I wish I had taken the day off... my head is killing me.
:)

You are carrying:
- a slightly paranoid Android
- two left feet (not my own)
- a still unfed and very hungry hippo
- broadsword of +5 ridiculousness stained with the blood of the undead souls
- a stetson Resistol, cuz stetson Resistols are cool.

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xkcd follower
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Joined: Thu May 26, 2011 11:13 pm UTC

Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:35 am UTC

Granted. Your day off was to go to a vuvuzula concert!

I wish for Axman13 could be taunted for his lousy spelling in the video I am watching.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

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CorruptUser
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby CorruptUser » Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:18 am UTC

Granted, you know where he lives and can taunt him in person, but it turns out he learned how to spell while in prison.

I wish writing (like, with a pen) came with spell-check.

mathgeek17
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Dec 18, 2011 3:31 pm UTC

Granted, but the red and green lines never go away, even when you fix your spelling/grammar mistake.

I wish Toys for Tots didn't cancel on us yesterday. My friends and I were going to help wrap presents.

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farnsworth
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby farnsworth » Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:10 pm UTC

Granted, you two are forced to wrap presents 70 hours a week for the rest of your lives.

I wish people wouldn't ask me to lift heavy objects when I'm on vacation.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:12 pm UTC

Granted. They only ask you to lift them at home, and your job gives no vacations from now on.

I wish for an original book of Oliver Twist (First Edition)
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.

mathgeek17
Posts: 31
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby mathgeek17 » Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:07 pm UTC

Granted, but I accidentally dropped it in some sewage.

I wish the drum majors for my school's marching band didn't suck.

someguy12345
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby someguy12345 » Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:25 pm UTC

mathgeek17 wrote:Granted, but I accidentally dropped it in some sewage.

I wish the drum majors for my school's marching band didn't suck.

Granted. They are now the best drum majors in the world. Now your school's marching band is extremely famous, and as a result, your school is constantly harassed by paparazzi and there are always huge crowds of noisy people everywhere in the exterior and interior of your school.

I wish I was asexual.

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xkcd follower
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby xkcd follower » Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:07 am UTC

Granted. Now they blow.

I wish for a giant blue Clothespin to go with my Giant red one.
"Religion is the Opiate of the Masses"- Karl Marx

That means we need a cure... Or go Cold Turkey.


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