Corrupt-a-wish

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

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astrekmaster
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby astrekmaster » Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:02 am UTC

Granted. You know how to speak Yiddish, but not how to read it.

I wish you knew how to read Yiddish.
I define progress on a computer problem as getting a different error message.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:02 am UTC

Granted. Yutian orange ugulantes (painted Chinese cows) now know how to read Yiddish.

I wish I could suspend time.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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Lazar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lazar » Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:10 am UTC

You can. But suspending time also suspends your perception of time, so from your point of view nothing changes.

I wish that cats rode horses more often.
Exit the vampires' castle.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:26 pm UTC

granted, but being mischevious little bastards, they form an entire cavalry unit, and proceed to take over the world.

i wish to gain the cats favor with catnip.
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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:47 pm UTC

Granted, now you have to still in one place uncomfortably long, or else upset your feline masters.

I wish the kitty cavalry wouldn't disrupt the forums.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:21 am UTC

Granted. The canine artillery regiment is now bombarding us.

I wish for a magical umbrella that will deflect anything.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dudiobugtron » Sat Nov 23, 2013 4:58 am UTC

Granted. However, it deflects itself away too, so now you don't have it any more.

I wish I were Tuxedo Mask.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:55 am UTC

Granted. You are now blamed for all of the mistakes and under-preparation of the Sailor Moon members.

I wish for a 0.05kg pet amoeba.
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dudiobugtron
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dudiobugtron » Mon Nov 25, 2013 7:18 am UTC

Granted. It osmoses you with a force equal to 50 Earth gravities. You don't survive long.

I with that the kilogravity was a more common unit of measurement.
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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:58 pm UTC

Granted, descriptions of acceleration now usually begin with ".00", wasting time that would've been spend inventing a space elevator.

I wish we had a space elevator.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Lazar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lazar » Mon Nov 25, 2013 5:46 pm UTC

Granted. But you have to listen to space elevator music all the way up.

I wish Hollywood gave me free rein to direct my own movie with a hundred million dollar budget.
Exit the vampires' castle.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:20 pm UTC

Granted, but there is a mandatory 99.99 million dollar movie licensing fee, leaving you with $10,000 to hire actors, build the set, and produce the special effects.

I wish for there were smaller barriers to entry in the business world.
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Lazar
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lazar » Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:59 pm UTC

Granted. The barriers to entry are now so low that all matter in the universe enters the business world, resulting in a big crunch.

I wish I could magically repaint walls by pointing at them.
Exit the vampires' castle.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Dec 06, 2013 4:42 pm UTC

Granted, you magically paint walls with Francisco Goya's Saturn Devouring His Son. Intent to repaint isn't necessary, it just happens whenever you point. Alos, previous paint layers aren't removed.
Spoiler:
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I wish Saturn wouldn't stare at the viewer while eating.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Dec 07, 2013 6:34 pm UTC

Granted. The sunspots are actually eyes that stare at you for 12 hours per day while eating asteroids and other small rocky bodies.

I wish I could transition between forum pages by using the left and right arrow buttons.
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Nylonathatep
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nylonathatep » Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:22 pm UTC

Granted, the right arrow moves the page backwards while the left arrow moves the pages forward. It also does this when you are posting a reply in which it'll move the pages as well as removing whatever you are trying to post.

I wish my next wish won't be true :)

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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:33 pm UTC

Granted, but the universe collapses because of the paradox.

I wish I had a kerosene lantern.

SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:45 pm UTC

Granted. But you then knocked it over and it burnt your house down and you.

I wish I could travel in time.


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Nylonathatep
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Nylonathatep » Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:34 am UTC

Granted, You are travelling in time at the same pace as everyone else. Also you are dying slowly.

I wish for nothing.

SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:54 am UTC

Granted. You will keep living your life in pain and agony.

I wish I had another wish.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:22 pm UTC

Granted, but since you wasted your first wish on this, you're functionally where you started.

I wish I knew what I wanted.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:11 pm UTC

Granted. But you now regret what you wanted.

I wish I could wish with a wish that is a wish.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Tue Dec 24, 2013 2:13 pm UTC

Granted, but then you wish you hadn't wished it.

I wish for the impossible.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:37 pm UTC

Granted, your wish is granted in a way that doesn't cause a contradiction.

I wish for a red rider dual action BB gun.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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dudiobugtron
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dudiobugtron » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:48 pm UTC

Granted. The 'BB' is short for 'baby' though. I'll let you figure out whether it is a miniature gun, a gun for use on babies, or one that uses babies as ammo.

I wish that Quizatzhaderac's baby-shooting rampage is short-lived.
Spoiler:
(Is he shooting at babies, or shooting out babies? Or maybe it's just a small rampage. We may never know.)
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sprocket » Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:50 pm UTC

dudiobugtron wrote:I wish that Quizatzhaderac's baby-shooting rampage is short-lived.

Blessed be! It's short lived! But all the rhythmic noise brings out a horde of sand worms, that eat dudiobugtron and leave but one lone survivor who had all his friends and family eaten on that day, to live in grief.

I wish for a delicious chocolate mousse pie.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:26 am UTC

Granted. But you just figured out your "chocolate" pie was actually mouse poop.

I wish for my wish to not be ruined.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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faubiguy
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby faubiguy » Wed Dec 25, 2013 4:25 am UTC

Granted. It's not ruined, but it's still corrupted.

I wish I had a successful business.

SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Wed Dec 25, 2013 4:31 am UTC

Granted. But it became so successful, you got bored and quit your job.

I wish for a wish that is a wish that no wish can unwish my wish.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:51 pm UTC

Granted, you wish for nothing; you get nothing. No wish can undo that, because even if they give you something, you still have your nothing. (Every set contains the null element, only Jesus can remove it.)

I wish my rampage of babies shooting baby-sand worms with infant ball bearings that wasn't cut short.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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dudiobugtron
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby dudiobugtron » Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:35 am UTC

Granted. Instead, your list of wishes was cut short, since I forgot about the December page for some reason.

I wish I hadn't left out the baby rampage wish.
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SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:56 pm UTC

Granted. But then you chose to leave it out again.

I wish I could spell any word in any language.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:12 pm UTC

granted, but they are always the most insulting words possible at the time.

i wish cats would stop attacking the forum.
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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:14 pm UTC

Granted. But only once.

Edit because ninja'd by Tomlidich: Granted; now they attack your house.
Edit2: Or my original corruption could be applied to Tomlidich's wish, if you prefer.

I wish Earth had two moons.
Last edited by Earthling on Mars on Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:17 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:17 pm UTC

granted, the extra tidal forces upset the weather. earth is ravaged by constant storms, destroying most coastal cities, trashing the global economy, and sending technology back to the stone age.

i wish to be in a bunker when this occurs. (see also: cats)
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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:34 pm UTC

Granted. But there's no food in the bunker.

I wish Earth would stick with just one moon.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:43 pm UTC

granted, the second moon you wished for violently sticks to the earth, centered above los angeles. millions of people are killed, weather patterns are screwed up even more, and the entire planet officially hates you.

i wish to be on mars when this occurs.
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SwiftSilent
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SwiftSilent » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:43 pm UTC

Granted. But you then you get bored living on Earth and move to Mars.

I wish I could talk to the forums.


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
---Albert Einstein---


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Tomlidich the second
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:48 pm UTC

SwiftSilent wrote:Granted. But you then you get bored living on Earth and move to Mars.

i uhhh... what?


granted. but, all they say back is the sound of sweet, sweet, fan humming.

i wish to understand what chips say when you eat them.
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Earthling on Mars
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:00 am UTC

Granted, but what they say is very rude.

I wish the ninjas would stop assaulting this thread.


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