Corrupt-a-wish

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:22 am UTC

Granted. It's made from a real skull.

I wish for exactly the food I want most at each meal.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:15 am UTC

granted, but its already been eaten by someone else.

I wish that my coffee mug refilled itself with warm, good tasting coffee a moment after I finish drinking the last of the previous mugful.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:45 am UTC

Granted. It refills while you still have it to your mouth and angled to drink. The new coffee would be at a perfect temperature to drink but it is very hot on your face and gets in your eye. You drop the mug. It falls sideways and the mug keeps getting refilled as fast as the coffee can flow out. As you get medical attention the office floods in coffee. The mug doesn't stop. You accidentally trip and break your neck as you are blinded by the coffee. You die, and nobody else knows about the mug. The mug keeps dispensing coffee. A river of coffee appears from your office to the closest ocean, mystifying everyone. Nobody can enter the office because it's filled with piping hot coffee. The ocean levels increase due to the influx of coffee. The global temperature increases because the coffee is hot. Oceans overtake countries and a Waterworld-like situation arises, but with coffee. The total mass of the planet increases until it collapses in on itself to form a black hole. The black hole keeps growing due to the influx of coffee. The black hole absorbs the other planets and the Sun. It absorbs nearby stars. It absorbs Sagittarius A*. It keeps growing. The only thing protecting parts of the universe from the effects of your wish is the expansion of the universe. But the gravity of the supermassive black hole is just too big, and everything that's not speeding away faster than light due to the expansion of the universe gets pulled in to the mug of coffee.

I wish my car wasn't screwed.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Oct 21, 2016 12:02 pm UTC

granted. Every screw disappears simultaneously from your vehicle as you are driving down the highway at 70 mph. The results of this are left as an exercise for the reader.


I wish my magic coffee mug stopped refilling since I didn't drink the last of it.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sun Oct 23, 2016 1:17 am UTC

Granted. It will never refill itself as long as there is a single molecule of coffee in it. You will need a professional cleanroom and a special solvent to make it sufficiently clean.

I wish people weren't so salty.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Tue Oct 25, 2016 1:23 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:
Spoiler:
Granted. It refills while you still have it to your mouth and angled to drink. The new coffee would be at a perfect temperature to drink but it is very hot on your face and gets in your eye. You drop the mug. It falls sideways and the mug keeps getting refilled as fast as the coffee can flow out. As you get medical attention the office floods in coffee. The mug doesn't stop. You accidentally trip and break your neck as you are blinded by the coffee. You die, and nobody else knows about the mug. The mug keeps dispensing coffee. A river of coffee appears from your office to the closest ocean, mystifying everyone. Nobody can enter the office because it's filled with piping hot coffee. The ocean levels increase due to the influx of coffee. The global temperature increases because the coffee is hot. Oceans overtake countries and a Waterworld-like situation arises, but with coffee. The total mass of the planet increases until it collapses in on itself to form a black hole. The black hole keeps growing due to the influx of coffee. The black hole absorbs the other planets and the Sun. It absorbs nearby stars. It absorbs Sagittarius A*. It keeps growing. The only thing protecting parts of the universe from the effects of your wish is the expansion of the universe. But the gravity of the supermassive black hole is just too big, and everything that's not speeding away faster than light due to the expansion of the universe gets pulled in to the mug of coffee.

I don't think it would collapse into a black hole because it would stop refilling itself once the coffee ocean reached the height of the coffee mug.

/skip
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heuristically_alone » Tue Oct 25, 2016 6:55 am UTC

Granted. People are now slightly salty and very peppered.

I wish I had chipotle tobasco sauce at home right now.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quercus » Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:03 pm UTC

Granted. A tank truck arrives and pumps your home full of chipotle tabasco sauce.

I wish the esc key on my keyboard would start working again.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:40 pm UTC

Granted, it gets a job and is now gone for eight hours a day.

I wish for tasty lunch.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heuristically_alone » Wed Oct 26, 2016 6:04 am UTC

Granted. It as your last meal before the electric chair.

I wish to see my name covering the entire first page of forum games.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Wed Oct 26, 2016 8:55 am UTC

Granted. No one else posts in forum games any more.

I wish people would post here again.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Oct 26, 2016 2:21 pm UTC

Granted. I post here.

I wish corruptions would stay corrupted.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Thu Oct 27, 2016 12:11 am UTC

Granted. Soon no one can post here again because the universe was destroyed again or something.

I wish I lived closer to where I work.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby thunk » Thu Oct 27, 2016 4:57 am UTC

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Oct 27, 2016 6:44 pm UTC

Granted, the ninth planet from the sun is tentatively named "Proxima Centauri b".

I wish for a lost cost, safe way to create movable wormholes.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Oct 28, 2016 1:06 pm UTC

granted. Your worms make lovely little worm holes in your decomposing body, which is moved when they dig it up to put a new oil pipeline through your shallow grave.

I wish someone hadn't murdered Quizatzhaderac.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:35 pm UTC

Granted. They murdered you instead, after a significant period of torture.

I wish somebody would rid me of this turbulent priest.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:25 pm UTC

granted, your priest is significantly more aerodynamic in his lycra bodysuit.

I wish that DXFs remembered layer information when importing into AutoCAD.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:42 pm UTC

Granted, the file keeps exact information on the hen that laid it.

Pizza.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:05 pm UTC

Granted. The leaning tower of Pisa is struck by lightning.

I wish more people would submit their wishes in Haitian Creole.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Nov 07, 2016 4:23 am UTC

Granted, out of the percentage of people who submit their wishes. Unfortunately, this topic has been inactive for almost a week now.

I wish for a universal dongle that can, after undergoing the proper transformation, connect any electrical male or female port to any other electrical male or female port.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:56 pm UTC

Granted. The offspring are monsters that scare even the zombie apocalypse away.

I wish today's (ceramics) firing goes well.

Jose
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:52 pm UTC

Granted. everyone at the ceramics plant is fired after the building is burned down (i.e. fired).

I wish that I had a shorter work day, while still maintaining my full-time employment, benefits, and salary. (I'd wish for a raise too, but lets be realistic).
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:14 pm UTC

Granted. You still work the same number of hours per week, but your work day is shorter because you now work seven days a week with no holidays.

I wish it was easier to find a swimsuit at a department store in November (my new job requires me to have one, and I found a total of one swimsuit in the four large department stores I searched; luckily that one happened to be my size).

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:56 pm UTC

Granted, but your pool is outdoors now.

I wish that there is no civil war Wednesday.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:15 am UTC

Granted. Instead, there is war on Mexico on Thursday to get them to pay for Trump's wall.

I wish Trump wasn't going to be the president.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:52 am UTC

Granted. Trump is assassinated and Pence takes his place. It's pretty much the same.

I wish I was better at conversations.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Nov 12, 2016 2:43 pm UTC

Granted. Your conversations in C, Pascal, and Klingon are amazing. English, not so much.

I wish I were stupid.

Jose
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sat Nov 12, 2016 7:15 pm UTC

Granted but you discover ignorance is far from bliss...

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Nov 12, 2016 7:22 pm UTC

Granted, but... well, you die from it. Duh.

I wish for sardines.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby username5243 » Sun Nov 13, 2016 3:38 pm UTC

Granted but it's behind a locked door.

I wish for a new computer.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Sun Nov 13, 2016 5:23 pm UTC

Granted. The harddrive is filled with porn and you're scarred for life.

I wish for a paradox.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Nov 13, 2016 5:24 pm UTC

Granted. Not granted.

I wish for super-intelligence.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby username5243 » Sun Nov 13, 2016 5:30 pm UTC

Granted. Your head explodes because there's too much in it.

I wish I was the king of the world.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Nov 14, 2016 3:28 pm UTC

Granted, for the few moments before you are assassinated by your Grand Vizier.

I wish I had super speed.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Nov 14, 2016 5:38 pm UTC

Granted, have fun crashing into walls!

I wish for a double post.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Nov 14, 2016 5:39 pm UTC

Granted, but it's oddly unsatisfying.

I wish for a colony of fire ants that obeys my every command.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Nov 14, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

granted, but only in their own 'language' which is made of complex chemical arrangements. The only thing you know how to say in fire ant is "I am food, eat me."

I wish I had telekinesis.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Mon Nov 14, 2016 8:51 pm UTC

Granted. You now have the ability to exert minuscule amounts of force on objects using your mind. But the force is so weak that, unless you happen to find a frictionless surface, you can only actually move objects with it if they are balanced very precariously.

I wish I had the ability to control exactly how the next player will corrupt this wish.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Nov 14, 2016 9:32 pm UTC

Granted, the corruption is now based on your innermost fears.

I wish to know the way to Santa Fe
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.


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