Corrupt-a-wish

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:44 am UTC

Granted. Your love of Donald Trump leads you to a high profile role in the White House of the United States, just as it becomes the hub of the Fourth Reich. There is the predictable nuclear war, which Canada wins, and you get prosecuted as a war criminal.

I wish the line-select button set of my (old landline desktop two-line) phone didn't make the signal so scratchy.

Jose
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:09 pm UTC

Granted, but there is now the added (perfectly clear) repeating signal of the record scratch sound.

I wish people instinctively made the record scratch sound when surprised.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Dec 22, 2018 6:01 pm UTC

granted but the surprise has to be fairly severe.

i wish generosity was the rule, not the exception.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:48 pm UTC

Granted. It's the rule, but not the common behavior. Consequently, most people are in jail for violating the rule. They do however get generous sentences.

I wish that email encryption were commonplace rather than the exception.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Dec 25, 2018 4:42 pm UTC

granted but its still the case that all you need is the password to decrypt.

i wish for gummy bears.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Dec 26, 2018 12:30 am UTC

Granted but they are vitamin supplements so you'll get sick if you eat them.

I wish I could scry.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:07 pm UTC

Granted, you can scry half-way down the Mariana's trench with tea leaves, the dark side of the moon (yes, I know that's not a constant location) with smoke, or the Earth's core with fire. You can't however, watch people, animals, or robots.

I wish I could read the thoughts of animals.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Dec 26, 2018 4:52 pm UTC

granted, some are good some are bad.

i wish for a ternary computer.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Dec 28, 2018 3:59 pm UTC

[_] Granted
[_] Not granted
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You enter the One True Thread and begin the most awefulsome Quest. Beware the green safety hats and the cookie clicker, but rather, follow the First Commandment, say your prayers and build sandcastles, and be molpish. Don't panic at the Voldeframe, but know that there is much Time after Time.

I wish warm weather in Northeast winters didn't bring rain.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby balthasar_s » Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:42 pm UTC

Granted. It doesn't bring rain any more.
Additionally, nothing else brings rain either.
There will be no more rain in the world.

I wish I had an object generator.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Eternal Density » Mon Dec 31, 2018 11:55 am UTC

Granted, but the objects it generates are all objectional.

I wish I could stop procrastinating.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Mon Dec 31, 2018 12:31 pm UTC

Granted. You stop procrastinating after an out-of-control truck rams into your living room. Fortunately, nobody is seriously injured. Unfortunately, the things that you had been putting off doing get bumped down the priority list and still don't get done, just for a better reason.

I wish I knew where everything in this house is.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ggh » Mon Dec 31, 2018 1:33 pm UTC

Granted. You know where everything in your house is, but in no cases, its velocity. Picking up things you want is no easier than before, and occasionally more bruising.

I wish I could concentrate better.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Dec 31, 2018 7:59 pm UTC

Granted. But you can only concentrate on one thing, ever. Choose wisely.

I wish for forty LSD NiMH (AA and AAA) batteries and a smart charger for them.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby balthasar_s » Mon Dec 31, 2018 9:12 pm UTC

Granted.
The charger is very smart.

Actually, it is so smart that it decides that it is too smart for such a boring job as charging batteries.
It has better plans.
It takes over the world using only these batteries.

I wish compiling from source programs downloaded from the internet would be less problematic.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Jan 01, 2019 12:25 am UTC

granted, but it takes 15% longer.

i wish love and compassion for all the world.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:35 pm UTC

Granted, it's a utilitarian loves that equally values all creatures. Logically, each vertebrate's happiness is compromised to allow for the thriving of a multitude of nematodes.

I wish for the elimination of all human parasites.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 02, 2019 6:00 pm UTC

Granted. This is accomplished by the elimination of all humans.

(Hmmm. Maybe that's not even a corruption. :)

I wish that when searching for information on human parasites (and other related topics), it was easy to get results that are not merely consumer-grade, but actual research papers from the original research that led to whatever conclusions are being touted.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Jan 02, 2019 7:48 pm UTC

granted but the papers are very difficult to understand.

i wish, meh i'm good enough as is, i don't wish for anything.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:19 pm UTC

phillip1882 wrote:i wish, meh i'm good enough as is, i don't wish for anything.
Granted. You become president of the United States. Because we desperately need somebody who's good enough.

The job is way harder than you thought however, and you become hated by half the country.

I wish voting for government offices were done by approval voting everywhere it presently is done by one person one vote.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Fri Jan 04, 2019 4:47 pm UTC

Granted, a mysterious council of 13 hooded individuals votes for all government offices via approval voting.

I wish to be on this council.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Jan 04, 2019 6:00 pm UTC

granted.

i wish for peace and prosperity.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:45 pm UTC

Not granted.

But you are on that council too. Those other hooded individuals do not want peace or prosperity. Enjoy your tenure!

I wish the year began on March 25, and there were great celebrations worldwide on that date.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:54 pm UTC

Granted.

Approximately 21 million people around the world have March 25 as their birthday. For them, a new year of their life begins on that day. Many of them celebrate the occasion, and some of those celebrations are even considered great by those who take part.

I wish for sanity for all of the world's leaders.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Jan 05, 2019 5:03 pm UTC

oh i definitely grant that.

i wish i could bowl perfectly every time.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Jan 07, 2019 5:33 pm UTC

Granted, however using "performance enhancing djinn" is considered cheating.

I wish pandas didn't suck at being animals so much.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:58 pm UTC

Granted. Instead of bamboo, they now eat people, and are very successful at it. They're still as cute as ever, though - a fact which they now ruthlessly employ to lure their human prey.

I wish I could get motivated to do my paperwork.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:00 pm UTC

granted you can but it takes a few days.

i wish for a diamond ring that i can give my wife when i marry.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:19 am UTC

Granted. It is a treasured heirloom that goes back to your great great grandmother and also happens to be worth a ch*rpin' fortune.

Your wife loses it on her wedding night and it is never found again.

I wish batteries were not needed to power things that now require batteries.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:55 am UTC

granted, everything now needs to be plugged in to run.

i wish to grant friendship to anyone who wants it.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:01 pm UTC

Granted, you no longer need to be a decent person to make plenty of friends, and thus people loose a major motivation to act decently.

I wish I was one of the cool kids.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Tue Jan 08, 2019 7:48 pm UTC

Granted. You die of hypothermia.

I wish for this wish to be corruptible.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 09, 2019 12:12 am UTC

Granted. Your wish is the Democratic candidate for US president, 2020. I wonder who it will run against, and whether or not it will actually become corrupted.

I wish the last two years of politics were just a bad movie.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Jan 09, 2019 6:00 pm UTC

Granted, it was called "Emperor Joker" and it killed both DC comics movies and DC comics as well.

I wish for your (next poster's) favorite comic book story to get a good movie.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:25 pm UTC

Granted. xkcd's Time comic is made into a major motion picture. Lauded by critics, it's a box office smash (unusual for both things to happen!) and this leads to film versions of all the other Time after Time stories. People flock to them, abandoning facebook, twitter, youtube, email, food, sleep, meatspace friends, hygiene, Kerbal space program politics, research, and pretty much everything else. They demand more Time after Time, and the One True Thread breaks under the strain, causing a massive Voldeframe for which there isn't enough ice cream in the entire world.

But at least people understand what that means.

I wish I could safely carry as much cash as I wanted, anywhere I wanted to.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:27 pm UTC

Granted, but everywhere only accepts cards.

I wish I could stick to schedules better.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:30 am UTC

Granted. They are tattooed on.

I wish I could remember my password.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Heartfelt thanks from addams and from me - you really made a difference.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby svenman » Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:19 pm UTC

Granted. What currently is your password will stay etched into your memory forever. Too bad it becomes compromised so that you are forced to change it, and that you now have even more trouble remembering your new password.

I wish I had more willpower.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:53 am UTC

granted, you used to, but not so much any more.

i wish whenever i smiled at someone they would smile back.
good luck have fun

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby username5243 » Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:33 pm UTC

Granted, it is less complicated but you get bored quickly.

I wish I knew why I decided to show up here again
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