Corrupt-a-wish

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red_or_dead
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby red_or_dead » Tue Jun 17, 2008 9:37 pm UTC

granted, but noone leaves you alone..

..wish i was rich..

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Bulvox
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Tue Jun 17, 2008 10:37 pm UTC

granted, you are now me. you have chronic depression, asperger's nos, asthma, and are allergic to over 50 things.

i wish that i wasn't so messed up.
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turnwrite
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby turnwrite » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:09 pm UTC

Granted. But now your children are.

I wish I were on a beach instead of here.
"How fortunate are you and I.."

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Lila21
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lila21 » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:17 pm UTC

Granted.
But it's a beach a long time after the sun explodes, so the ocean is made of liquid oxygen. You forgot your spacesuit at home, and freeze.

I wish to lose 15 pounds.

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turnwrite
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby turnwrite » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:23 pm UTC

Granted, but your planet of residence suddenly becomes Jupiter, where your weight loss is effectively negated. And then stomped on (figuratively, figuratively).

I wish I had friendlier neighbors.
"How fortunate are you and I.."

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The Hyphenator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Hyphenator » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:28 pm UTC

Granted, but then they reveal that they are in fact raptors, and eat you.

I wish people and raptors could just get along.
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AKAnotu
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby AKAnotu » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:32 pm UTC

Granted. Raptors are very friendly with a full stomach

I wish I had an Ice cream sundae
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HiFiFoci
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HiFiFoci » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:12 am UTC

WTF i been ninja'd like 5 times already. or maybe i'm just misreading.
How do i carry the weight of the world? I shrug.

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Ansain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:40 am UTC

your last two wishes were granted and corrupted....

anyways granted but you end up wearing half of it on your best suit.

I wish for a cool and usefull gadget with a really long name
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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jakeyizle
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jakeyizle » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:49 am UTC

Granted, but it turns out to be an anal probe. Enjoy.


I wish for a banana flavored breakfast bar.
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Bulvox
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:52 am UTC

granted, you get a banana that is breakfast bar flavored. yum

i wish for a stick of dynamite to blow stuff up with.
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jakeyizle
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jakeyizle » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:53 am UTC

Granted. It blows you up.


I wish for a new computer that isn't horrible.
"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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felltir
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby felltir » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:53 am UTC

Granted. It's the computer from Aperture Science. You die.

I wish for air.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:56 am UTC

granted, but it's the kind that humans can't breath. you die of suffocation.

i wish for canned earth air.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby felltir » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:13 am UTC

Granted, but no can opener. You die.

I have wished for all of the elements. I WISH FOR ULTIMATE POWER!!!
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


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Bulvox
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:22 am UTC

granted, but your body cannot take the strain of all that power and explodes.

i wish for immortality for myself.
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HiFiFoci
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HiFiFoci » Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:07 am UTC

granted. You're trapped in a transdimensional cage in hell which sustains your congnisence, despite what happens to your body.

I wish I had wolverine's powers (did I wish that already? not botherin to check.
How do i carry the weight of the world? I shrug.

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The Hyphenator
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Hyphenator » Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:02 am UTC

Granted; you are now a wolverine. You get hit by a truck and die.

I wish for expensive, non-renewable, polluting energy.
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HiFiFoci
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby HiFiFoci » Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:27 am UTC

granted, but a mad scientist who becomes fed up with it creates tiberium.

I wish carpets were the poodles of hand-made lawn deterent fresheners.
How do i carry the weight of the world? I shrug.

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Happyhovercraft
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Happyhovercraft » Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:46 am UTC

Granted but you get addicted and can go nowhere without them

I wish i could play might and magic 7 on ubuntu.... *sigh*

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AngrySquirrel
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby AngrySquirrel » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:01 pm UTC

Granted, Ubuntu is now another word for Windows.

I wish I was smart.
Putting the fist into pacifist.

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Happyhovercraft
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Happyhovercraft » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:41 pm UTC

Granted but now noone can understand you

i wish my neighbours didn't have ears

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jim jim jimmy jim » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:06 pm UTC

Granted, but their ears have been replaced by microphones. They record every sound you make, and can hold it all as evidence against you.

I wish that I would die a very interesting death.
Dude- my feet are afraid of my socks!

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pseudoidiot
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:13 pm UTC

Granted, you die the most interesting death in the history of mankind. Unfortunately noone is around to see it happen or find the aftermath.

I wish I didn't get so angry at video games.
Derailed : Gaming Outside the Box.
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Lila21
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Lila21 » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:13 pm UTC

Granted - you get too angry one day and break whichever system you have. You can't get angry at the games because you can't play them.

I wish for a free mocha.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jim jim jimmy jim » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:11 pm UTC

Granted - a waiter brings you a mocha and spills it into your lap. The scalding hot liquid prevents you from ever being able to procreate again. In essence, your children die. No charge!

I wish I was somewhere near as attractive as my girlfriend (without detracting from her beauty at all, and she'd better not die.)
Dude- my feet are afraid of my socks!

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pseudoidiot
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:31 pm UTC

Granted, you're now her female twin.

I wish I weren't so hungry and that being so didn't cause me physical harm or death... or to be comatose.
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SeventhBetaRelease
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SeventhBetaRelease » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:39 pm UTC

Granted, you'll never be hungry again , and, you'll never eat again as well.

I wish I was a radio talk-show host.
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jim jim jimmy jim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jim jim jimmy jim » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:12 pm UTC

Granted, but you find that you can never stop using your talk show host voice; when you tell your wife intimate things, she gets really weirded out. She refuses to let you touch her. For some reason you live in an Amish community, and cannot divorce her to find someone new. You have to sleep next to her for the rest of your life, but she has closed her heart to you, and you die a sad, lonely old man.

I wish I was a color. Not just me being painted the color. I want to be the wavelength. No longer human; purple.

edit: spelling... still, no claims to perfection
Last edited by jim jim jimmy jim on Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:41 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Ansain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:37 pm UTC

granted, you are 563 nm. Or at least thats what she said! (I couldn't resist)

I wish for a deck of tarrot cards
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Bulvox
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Bulvox » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:44 pm UTC

granted, unfortunately they are tarot cards for ants, and become lost in your house.

i wish i knew what to wish for. XD
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jim jim jimmy jim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jim jim jimmy jim » Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:12 pm UTC

Your head is suddenly filled with wishes, thousands of them. They are all filled. You rise to fame and fortune, with every desire coming to your mind being fulfilled. Unfortunately, the one wish that you are wishing for, now, you do not grasp. It is the ultimate wish, the only one that will fill your deepest desires and make you happy. I know the wish, but I cannot give it to you, not here, on the xkcd forums, and therefore must deny the granting of your wish. Therefore, you live a life of getting everything you don't actually want, and are cold inside.

I wish my corruptions of wishes didn't get so involved.
Dude- my feet are afraid of my socks!

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drconcon
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:07 pm UTC

Granted. You have no hands.

I wish for exams to be over with.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Ansain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:10 pm UTC

granted you drop out of school.

I wish for the hour and a half to pass quickly
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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drconcon
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby drconcon » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:11 pm UTC

Granted, it's just as boring though.

I wish to be able to crack every joint in my body.
Belial wrote:Never assume you're safe.

That's when the raptors get yah!


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Sorroth
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Sorroth » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:26 pm UTC

Granted. Have fun in the body cast! What's that? An itchy nose? Aww, poor you, let m– Oh, wait, phone's going! I'll have to go now. Sorry about the nose.

I wish I could communicate better.
</streamofconsciousness>

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby jim jim jimmy jim » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:37 pm UTC

Granted. You now speak Lojban. But only with the types of people who speak Lojban.

I wish I knew where the lost source code is...
Dude- my feet are afraid of my socks!

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Gojoe
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Gojoe » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:42 pm UTC

Granted every joint in your body is filled with crack (cocaine). You OD and die.

I wish I had super powers
michaelandjimi wrote:Oh Mr Gojoe
I won't make fun of your mojo.
Though in this fora I serenade you
I really only do it to aid you.
*Various positive comments on your masculinity
That continue on into infinity*

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Ansain
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Ansain » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:57 pm UTC

granted, but the source code is written in a language that nobody has understood in over 25,000 years.

granted. you have the power to increase the ammount of of fat in your body.

I wish I didn't have to clean up after ninjas.
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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emomanisme
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby emomanisme » Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:36 pm UTC

granted you now have to cleanup after pirates

i wish for a (as in beef flesh) steak and for this corruption to have nothing to do with poison
huh? what are you looking down here for the only thing anyone would put down here is some legal thing to save their butts go away read the post thats what it's there for

this person may eat you


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