Corrupt-a-wish

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:29 pm UTC

Granted, but people can also curse you and it works.

I wish I could dance well.
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SirGabriel
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby SirGabriel » Sun Sep 17, 2017 6:00 pm UTC

Granted. Since (I assume) you can walk, follow spoken directions, and tell your right hand from your left, you will be a perfectly good square dancer after a few lessons. But you're still terrible at every other kind of dancing.

I wish square dancing was more popular.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Sep 17, 2017 6:12 pm UTC

granted, in the southern us its very popular, everywhere else its practically unknown.

i wish i am a chess grand master.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:47 pm UTC

Granted, but you can't participate in tournaments because the presence of two people is considered an unfair advantage.

I wish for magic glue remover (and the ability to keep phillip1882 and SirGabriel from getting it)
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mike Rosoft » Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:28 pm UTC

Granted. It can remove magic glue. If you want to remove ordinary non-magical glue, you're out of luck.

I wish for a grue remover.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:49 pm UTC

Granted, it removes green pigments on days when the S&P500 ends in an even number, and blue pigments on days it end on an odd.

I wish for a snack
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:58 pm UTC

granted you get a peanut butter sandwich.

i wish to be mr. nice guy.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:36 pm UTC

Granted, but every single 90's action hero says "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" then shoots you/throws you off a building/ impales you with a toothpick (a shrink ray was involved in that one)/ or some combination thereof.

I wish to see that action movie that involves the Hero and Philip being shrunk down, the hero shouting "No more Mr Nice Guy!", and then implaing Phillip with a toothpick off a building.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Earthling on Mars » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:07 pm UTC

Granted, as soon as it's filmed. And you get to play the hero! But while impaling Phillip, you fall off the building too and land on top of him. Ouch.

I wish for magic powers.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:37 pm UTC

granted, you get the ability to shrink or grow objects/people at will.

i wish to smell better than i currently do.
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:02 pm UTC

Granted. You can smell so well, you can tell how much you stink.

I wish I could try every food.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Fri Sep 22, 2017 12:36 am UTC

All the food is instantly teleported into you, almost everyone dies from the sudden shortage, and you also explode...

I wish to know how much air would be displaced by the above scenario... (this sounds like a What-if question)
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:40 am UTC

Granted. For every cubic meter of displaced air, a bottle of compressed air is thrown at you. You can can determine the answer by counting the number of bruises you get.

I wish for the hat from flicky's avatar and the cat from peaceful whale's avatar.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:54 am UTC

granted.
cathat.png
cathat.png (31.75 KiB) Viewed 761 times

i wish the hat looked more realistic.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:28 am UTC

Granted, I don’t want to corrupt this one.
A61A1EFC-64C3-448E-93F8-D56F74BFF6BC.jpeg
A61A1EFC-64C3-448E-93F8-D56F74BFF6BC.jpeg (6.23 KiB) Viewed 757 times


I wish for flickies avatar, and my cats hat...? Or head...
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:49 am UTC

Granted. Both are visible on your screen.

I wish for no more olives.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:01 pm UTC

Granted.
James Bond is no longer able to get his Martini properly garnished.
As such he fails to save Britain from a NAZI/Soviet/90's techno-bandits/ISIL plot to steal the Earth's core.

I wish to steal the Earth's core.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:33 pm UTC

Granted.
…are you going to do something with that giant ball of hot iron, or are you just going to let it fall on your head?

I wish for NASA to hurry up with their manned mission to Mars.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:20 pm UTC

Granted. It leaves tomorrow. You're on it.

It's one way.

I wish for the easy ability to solve schedule conflicts through a mechanism that allows (but does not require) me to traverse both timelines and thus not need to choose.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:48 pm UTC

I think your problem is solved here and as you can see it is pretty corrupted.

I wish for 3 cents.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:32 pm UTC

Granted, but it is illegal to melt it down for the (more valuable) zinc.
The Snide Sniper wrote:Granted.
…are you going to do something with that giant ball of hot iron, or are you just going to let it fall on your head?
Why yes, my evil plan does have specifics.

  1. I'll short sell every insurance company that covers the US east coast and Caribbean.
  2. Buy rights to an almost (but not entirely so it's still legal own-able) entire ocean area in the Cape Verde island chain.
  3. Dump the inner most six mile radius sphere of the Earth's core there.
  4. Heat from the core transfers to the ocean, creating a series of hypercanes.
  5. Hypercanes destroy East coast and Caribbean (also probably a good chunk of Columbia, the Mid-west and Western Europe, hypercanes are big)
  6. Repurchase insurances stocks at a fraction of the selling price.
  7. The bottom of the inner core is likely differentiated into the densest stable metals (i.e. platinum, irdium, osmium, and gold).
  8. Mine and sell off platinum, irdium, and osmium.
  9. Build skull themed fortress.
  10. Use half of gold to make clothing/body paint for go-go dancers.
  11. Use other half of gold for genital mutilation of secret agents.

I wish for a large quantity of quality go-go dancers/ hencepersons willing to wear clothing woven from gold.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:36 pm UTC

granted, i give you a penny for a thought and you get your two cents worth.
ninja'd
granted, but they aren't very attractive.

i wish to know how many licks to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Tue Sep 26, 2017 3:20 pm UTC

Geanted, start licking.

I wish for 164 cents
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:56 am UTC

granted you get that in bitcoins.

i wish for world peace, as in no more war but still humanity.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Wed Sep 27, 2017 2:11 pm UTC

Granted. Anything that could possibly be used as a weapon no longer exists, so humans can't go to war with each other. This means that when a rapist tries to escape from prison, the guards are powerless to stop him.

I wish for whirled peas.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Peaceful Whale » Wed Sep 27, 2017 2:40 pm UTC

phillip1882 wrote:granted you get that in bitcoins.


164! Bitcoins!!!!! :D

Granted they will be whirled in your stomach. Along with your organs.

I wish for Fitbit to use Pebble’s software and App Store thing.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Sep 27, 2017 8:18 pm UTC

granted, they use it for their own internal use. You still have to use their proprietary software.

I wish that my stupid partner wasn't so stupid.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Sep 27, 2017 9:55 pm UTC

Granted. Now you're the stupid one.

I wish tolls were easy to pay, and not impossible to pay (like the fasttrack tolls in California, where you are not permitted to pay a toll on the fasttrack lane either before or after - it's a semi-secret private club and non-members get a fine, which the rental car company amplifies.)

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:30 am UTC

granted, you can now pay tolls on the internet in advance, have a cpu chip in your car that's read by the toll as you drive. the cost for tolls slightly increases.

i wish for a good friend that lives near by.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Tue Oct 17, 2017 3:36 pm UTC

Granted. He lives near Belarus. Their country code is by.

I wish for a soldering tungsten. I'll use it to solder at temperates that would melt iron.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby The Snide Sniper » Tue Oct 17, 2017 9:42 pm UTC

Granted. It burns your hand when you touch it.

I wish for less homework.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Wed Oct 18, 2017 2:58 am UTC

Granted. All coursework must be done at school, in the classroom. You are not allowed to leave until it is done. The coursework load increases, because there's no homework.

I wish that every time I would have been given a traffic ticket, I am simply let off with a warning.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Oct 21, 2017 2:50 am UTC

Granted, but the warnings are still in your record. The next time you have an fender bender while speeding, the judgement against you will double for each warning you've received, quickly exceeding the ticket fine you would have paid. Your mandated insurance increases in the same manner after this accident.

I wish flicky would get some much-needed sleep.
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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:50 am UTC

Granted. I never wake up again.

I wish I could draw well.
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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Mon Oct 23, 2017 3:36 pm UTC

Granted, but you never draw again because you don't wake up.

I wish there were vaccines against and treatment for all types of cancer.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Oct 27, 2017 6:12 pm UTC

granted, but it takes so many shots that most people aren't willing to go through the "treat early" process.


i wish friendship was magic.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby NathanBros » Sat Oct 28, 2017 12:13 am UTC

Granted, but you become unable to make friends.

I wish for a better job.
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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:27 pm UTC

Granted, it's interesting, intellectually stimulating, osha-complant, and in a very safe and clean area. However, your job is very demanding and has such long hours that you have to live there and leave your children at a daycare/boarding school. The same happens to your wife and 75% of the population, leaving an entire generation of children who have never seen or known their parents.

I wish I knew which starship I wanted to build.
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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:47 am UTC

Granted. But it depends on speculative science that turns out to be incorrect. Meanwhile, science advances so that the other starship is possible and does get built. But not by you; you are considered an "other" and not taken seriously by anybody in the actual starship building business.

I wish people would stop posting stupid unverified speculative conspiracy-laden theories on the internet, and that none of those theories (that are prevented from being posted) turn out to actually be true.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:54 pm UTC

granted but censorship becomes so prevent that its hard to post true stories as well.

i wish ... hmmm. i wish for all good things for all good people.
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