Corrupt-a-wish

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Wed Oct 17, 2018 3:18 pm UTC

Granted, but grass now turns brown after 2 months and you're constantly busy planting new grass. Also, there's the smell of fertilizer everywhere you walk.

I wish the though police wouldn't detect my rebellious thoughts.
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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Oct 18, 2018 7:25 pm UTC

Granted, they don't police general thought, though they do still brutally police thoughs; not just most thoughs, allthoughs.

I wish for a ray gun.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:28 pm UTC

Granted. You get a flashlight.

I wish the earth were banana shaped.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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marionic
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby marionic » Sun Oct 21, 2018 9:05 pm UTC

Granted. This is achieved by removing existing mass causing the Earth to be significantly lighter so there isn't a lot of gravity causing a lot of problems while humanity tries to adjust.

I wish I had a vending machine.
Image

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:00 pm UTC

Granted, but it can only dispense/be loaded with Crystal Pepsi.

I wish for a bottle of non-expired Crystal Pepsi.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Thu Oct 25, 2018 4:52 am UTC

Granted, but what looks like chunks of ice are actually transparent quartz crystals. You choke on them while drinking it, thinking that it's just a partially frozen soda bottle.

I wish for an ermine. I have no clue what an ermine is, having only seen them in an anime.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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eran_rathan
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:17 pm UTC

granted, no corruption necessary.

Image


(they're adorable, like mini ferrets. Also awful thieves, will poop everywhere, and chew on anything, like power cords.)

I wish that America had a parliamentary system, so that elections were held on a random schedule.
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Oct 29, 2018 10:02 pm UTC

Granted, the president is appointed directly and solely by the senate majority whip, on the exact same schedule we have now.

I wish I had the additional option to challenge by combat trial.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Fri Nov 02, 2018 9:20 pm UTC

granted but both you and your opponent have to agree before hand

i wish i could be a better man
good luck have fun

Mike Rosoft
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Mike Rosoft » Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:23 pm UTC

You can be a better man. Too bad that you aren't.

I wish for a better mousetrap.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:15 pm UTC

Granted. Also, better mice. With lasers.

I wish people would realize that I'm right.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:16 pm UTC

Granted. Unfortunately, you're wrong about some things, but you'll never know because everyone keeps telling you you're right.

I wish for more fish.
any pronouns
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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 11:39 pm UTC

granted the fish population doubles within 15 years.

i wish love conquers all
good luck have fun

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Nov 19, 2018 4:34 pm UTC

Granted, the Necroregents sure love their rivers of blood, and their love drives them to conquer the world.

I wish for a cup or tea: Earl Grey, hot.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Nov 19, 2018 7:23 pm UTC

granted, you also get the movie contact to watch.

i wish food to be cheaper
good luck have fun

heathercat
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby heathercat » Fri Nov 23, 2018 10:55 pm UTC

Granted. Food is cheaper, but your house is in the way of the new fields that have to be planted.

I wish i could change sex by clicking my fingers.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:28 pm UTC

granted, the transformation takes approximately 5 minutes.

i wish for peace everlasting.
good luck have fun

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:54 pm UTC

Granted. There is everlasting peace on Mars, because humans never get there.

I wish for perfect language translation software.
any pronouns
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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sun Nov 25, 2018 7:18 pm UTC

granted, it will be finished by 2050 a.d.

i wish people can go to the after life they desire, as long as they follow the rules that apply there.
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Nov 26, 2018 1:09 am UTC

Granted. The rules are not what anybody expects them to be however, and the penalties for breaking the rules are far worse than imagined.

I wish browsers would all stop their animations with one keystroke.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 8:15 pm UTC

granted. the keystroke is the f4 key.


i wish people in general to be very helpful.
good luck have fun

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Nov 28, 2018 10:32 pm UTC

Granted, if you want unsolicited advice: you get it. If you don't want advice: you get it. Not that people are any more capable of giving good advice.

I wish a poorly written law to accidentally require all barristers to be able to make a proper latte and a proper Cuba libre, and to do gymnastics on a bar (while wearing the wig).
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 11:31 pm UTC

hmm. granted, but many disobey the law with no real bad consequences.

i wish hope never dies
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Thu Nov 29, 2018 1:05 am UTC

Granted. Things keep getting worse, but people still hope they get better.

I wish for four fours, 'fore "fore!".

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:52 pm UTC

granted a four teams of four play golf, and yell fore! for the people in fore.

i wish washing dishes was fun
good luck have fun

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:50 pm UTC

Granted. You're on a frictionless floor washing bombs that are usable as dishes. You also have a time-bomb that will only deactivate if you finish in 15 minutes.

I wish for the next poster's wish.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Dec 01, 2018 5:28 pm UTC

granted. my wish is to take pleasure in the little things
good luck have fun

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:13 pm UTC

Granted. The big things drive you crazy however.

I wish the outlet I just put in isn't too far away from the appliance it's meant to serve.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Dec 01, 2018 10:39 pm UTC

granted. you have no problem in its placement.

i wish i who do not know to teach.
good luck have fun

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:42 pm UTC

Granted, you are given job teaching Socratic philosophy, on the grounds of "wisest is he who knows he does not know". However, you become a national symbol for frivolous academics.

phillip1882 wrote:my wish is to take pleasure in the little things
I wish this to be interpreted as a masturbation joke.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Dec 11, 2018 7:52 pm UTC

hahaha granted.

i wish i better understood advanced mathematics
good luck have fun

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flicky1991
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Dec 12, 2018 7:53 am UTC

Granted. You understand the mathematics of a universe completely different from this one.

I wish phillip obeyed the rules of this thread.
any pronouns
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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Wed Dec 12, 2018 3:59 pm UTC

Granted, he corrupts the wishes so well that he sends us all into a black hole of nihilistic despair.

I wish for us all to be sent out of a white hole of nihilistic despair; whatever that means.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:34 pm UTC

granted, the despair dissipates over time.

i wish everyone a merry christmas
good luck have fun

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Mon Dec 17, 2018 1:16 am UTC

Granted. During Christmas, everyone will be on a giant merry-go-round revolving around there planet. By the end, everyone will be tired and dizzy.

I wish for a jimmy. I'm not exactly sure what a jimmy is.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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ucim
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby ucim » Mon Dec 17, 2018 4:37 am UTC

Granted. Your car door is jimmyed open, and stolen. The jimmy is left behind.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted the way Donald Trump would corrupt a wish.

Jose
Order of the Sillies, Honoris Causam - bestowed by charlie_grumbles on NP 859 * OTTscar winner: Wordsmith - bestowed by yappobiscuts and the OTT on NP 1832 * Ecclesiastical Calendar of the Order of the Holy Contradiction * Please help addams if you can. She needs all of us.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Dec 17, 2018 4:23 pm UTC

Granted, he sends a bill for corrupting the wish and does nothing else.

I wish for a freeze ray (not an ice ray; that's so Johnny snow).

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:21 pm UTC

granted victor fries gives you his.

i wish for a good joke.
good luck have fun

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bug sniper
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby bug sniper » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:18 pm UTC

Q: Why can't you get a lawyer delivered in the mail? A: Because shipments only contain goods, never evils.

I wish for a flying car, fully assembled and ready for me to use.
Last edited by bug sniper on Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:37 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Carry the black torch! Rouse the idle dead!
-Dungeon Crawl.

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phillip1882
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Re: Corrupt-a-wish

Postby phillip1882 » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:12 pm UTC

granted it not very fuel efficient though.

i wish to love and respect everyone
good luck have fun


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