Welcome to Zork

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

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sillybear25
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Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:45 pm UTC

It's like a text adventure, but in forum form! I'll post a description of the first room, and my action, and it's up to the next person to describe the results of my action, then an action of their own.

Example:
Player 1 wrote:It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

>LAMP ON
Player 2 wrote:You turn on the brass lantern.
You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.

>EAST


So, without further ado, I'll start it with a classic:

WEST OF HOUSE
You are standing in an open field west of a house with a boarded front door. There is a mailbox here.

>OPEN MAILBOX
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oagersnap
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:26 pm UTC

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby oagersnap » Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:51 pm UTC

You find a worryingly heavy letter from the tax agency of [your country].

>OPEN LETTER

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Nautilus
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Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:19 am UTC
Location: That's a strange place to put a piano

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nautilus » Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:00 pm UTC

The letter is glued thickly. You have some trouble getting it open. There is a paper flap covering the "Total Amount Due" line.


>LIFT FLAP
My flagella bring all the boys to the yard

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Max2009
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Location: Where?
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Max2009 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:03 pm UTC

When you regain consciousness you are at first unsure of your surroundings, but then it slowly comes back to you.

>LOOK AT AMOUNT AGAIN MORE, CAREFULLY THIS TIME
Cogito ergo surf - I think therefore I network

Registered Linux user #481826 Get Counted! http://counter.li.org

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eggdudeguy
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby eggdudeguy » Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:16 pm UTC

You are eaten by a grue.

> RESTART
KrazyerKate wrote:While it's probably the strangest sounding advice I will ever give, we need to stay focused on Hardcore Pornography in order to be successful.


I have a Blog and I make Games. I also have a big multiplayer game in the works (coming soonish!).

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Keldaran
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Location: Canadiana

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Keldaran » Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:12 pm UTC

YOU ARE IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER, THE BROWSER IS OPEN

>I go to XKCD.COM

oagersnap
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:26 pm UTC

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby oagersnap » Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:32 pm UTC

You find that Randall Munroe has chosen to abolish his webcomic and instead dedicate his site to Twilight fanfiction. One of the stories is titled "How I Met My Deadly Lover".

>READ STORY

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Max2009
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Max2009 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:38 pm UTC

You are overcome by the compelling urge to gouge your eyeballs out with a melon baller and pour bleach in the sockets.

>RESTART
Cogito ergo surf - I think therefore I network

Registered Linux user #481826 Get Counted! http://counter.li.org

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sillybear25
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:03 pm UTC

You are in de_dust, on the Counter-Terrorists' team. You are at the buy point. You have 60 seconds remaining to shop.

>BUY DEAGLE
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oagersnap
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:26 pm UTC

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby oagersnap » Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:04 pm UTC

Edit: Never mind, ignore this post...

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Josephine
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Josephine » Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:29 pm UTC

You aim it at your friend in jest, not knowing it was loaded. You shoot him. Everyone else riddles you with bullets.

>RESTART
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

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sillybear25
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:05 pm UTC

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

>EAST
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BurningLed
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby BurningLed » Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:07 pm UTC

You find a blue door with a yellow smiley face on it: :)

>OPEN DOOR
Axman wrote:Some people blow their cash on watches that they show off to people who think said watches make a person cool. Some people spend a weekend buying everyone fake gifts in a game of make-believe.
I think the latter group is awesome.

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kaimason1
WINNING
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby kaimason1 » Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:47 am UTC

You find a bouncy hut / playpen ball paradise without any children to muck up your fun.

>CANNONBALL IN BALL PIT
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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neoliminal
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby neoliminal » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:55 am UTC

I do not understand what you mean.

>JUMP INTO PIT
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073YYXRC
Read My Book. Cost less than coffee. Will probably keep you awake longer.
[hint, scary!]

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sillybear25
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:40 am UTC

This ball pit is quite a bit deeper than it looked from the outside. You're standing up to your neck in colorful plastic balls, and--Wait, did something just brush your leg? Something... scaly?

>EXIT BALL PIT
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Josephine
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Josephine » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:46 am UTC

you wade towards the edge. Suddenly, you feel the floor sinking. By the time you reach the edge, you're 20 feet below the surface.

>LOOK AROUND
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

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kaimason1
WINNING
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby kaimason1 » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:47 am UTC

You see that it was just a drifting alligator purse.

>HAVE FUN IN BOUNCE HUT
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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BurningLed
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby BurningLed » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:43 am UTC

You splash around wildly, and then the ceiling caves in on you. Perhaps you should have been more careful?

>RESTART
Axman wrote:Some people blow their cash on watches that they show off to people who think said watches make a person cool. Some people spend a weekend buying everyone fake gifts in a game of make-believe.
I think the latter group is awesome.

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Mishrak
Posts: 1045
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Location: Houston, Texas

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:29 pm UTC

You find yourself in a deep pit full of bones. The air is thick with a heavy odor. The walls are as high as you can see and big metal spikes jut up through the bones. Some of them have things impaled on them.

>GET SKULL

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Plasma Man
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Location: Northampton, Northampton, Northampton middle England.

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Plasma Man » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:15 pm UTC

You pick up a skull. It is smooth, devoid of flesh and slightly yellowed with age.

>THROW SKULL AT SPIKE
Please note that despite the lovely avatar Sungura gave me, I am not a medical doctor.

Possibly my proudest moment on the fora.

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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:15 pm UTC

You get the skull; it looks very tasty and you realise you are hungry.

>LICK SKULL.


Ninja'd hey?

You hurl the skull at the spike, which shifts opening a secret passage.

>GO PASSAGE




(obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH and DENNIS anyone? xD)
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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Mishrak
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:43 pm UTC

You enter the mystery passage way only to set off a trap! Spikes shoot out from the walls and ceiling which are pressing in on you. You notice a button in the middle of the passage on a pedestal.

> PUSH BUTTON
Last edited by Mishrak on Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:56 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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kaimason1
WINNING
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby kaimason1 » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:53 pm UTC

Axes start swinging and you hear a deep mechanical whirring.

>LISTEN TO WALL
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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Mishrak
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Location: Houston, Texas

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:55 pm UTC

You hear a deep distant rumbling like the sound of drumbs beating methodically. You notice a loose panel on the wall.

>PUSH PANEL

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kaimason1
WINNING
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby kaimason1 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:21 am UTC

The panel drops to the floor.

>LOOK IN HOLE
SexyTalon wrote:If it walks like a person, talks like a person, and tastes like a person, it's probably a person. Or I Can't Believe It's Not People, which cannibals prefer to Soylent Green nearly 5 to 1 in a blind taste test.

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sillybear25
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:38 am UTC

It's too dark to see in there.
My, those spikes are getting awfully close...

>ENTER HOLE
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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:14 am UTC

It's a tight fit, the walls feel moist and slimy and there is a strange smell in the air...

It's almost as if it were inside a living creature.

>POKE WALL.
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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brakos82
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Location: My happy place :)

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby brakos82 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:16 am UTC

The wall bursts, revealing a small passageway which splits in two directions, left and right.

> GO RIGHT.
I am Brakos, and I may or may not approve this message.

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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:24 am UTC

You continue down the tunnel, your head getting closer and closer to the ceiling, but looking back you get the feeling that it's not the tunnel getting smaller.


>FREAK OUT
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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SlyReaper
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby SlyReaper » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:18 pm UTC

An orange baboon runs towards you and gives you three pills. He explains that one will shrink you back to normal, one will make you grow even faster, and one will turn you into an orange baboon who offers people pills.

>CRUSH ALL PILLS TOGETHER AND SNORT
Image
What would Baron Harkonnen do?

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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:28 pm UTC

You snort the pills, and suddenly your mind goes cloudy. As you come to, you realise you're in a room full of people and that you are a small, fast baboon. You also possess a large bag full of pills.

>OFFER PEOPLE PILLS
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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Mishrak
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:03 pm UTC

The people all spaz out on pills and go berserk and try to attack you. Fortunately there's a spear nearby to defend yourself.

>WIELD SPEAR

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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:21 pm UTC

Due to an unfortunate grammatical error, you find yourself trying to weld the spear to your foot while being mauled to death by a drug-addled mob

>RESTART
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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Mishrak
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:26 pm UTC

You're in the High Tower of Sorcery. You put on your robe and wizard hat but you can't find your staff or spellbook. There is a table nearby with baubles, glass containers and bubbling concotions.

>SEARCH TABLE

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sillybear25
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:25 pm UTC

You find nothing interesting on the table.

>SEARCH TABLE AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE
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Josephine
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Josephine » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:33 pm UTC

suddenly, you see a pipe bomb.

>examine pipebomb
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

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Mishrak
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Mishrak » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:41 pm UTC

You notice the pipe bomb is armed and the clock has 5 seconds left on it.


> PANIC

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Nith Azra
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Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby Nith Azra » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:43 pm UTC

Spinning around in circles, you fail to panic as you catch sight of a book with the words "DON'T PANIC" written in large, friendly letters on the cover.

>DON'T PANIC
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I wrote "moistly"... wierd.


::.._____..::ROYAL RAINBOW!!!::.._____..::

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sillybear25
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Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:19 am UTC
Location: Look at me, I'm putting a meta-joke in the Location field.

Re: Welcome to Zork

Postby sillybear25 » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:45 pm UTC

Why not? Your position appears quite hopeless.

>GET SUB-ETHER SIGNALING DEVICE
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