Unimpressive superpowers

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shnieder2
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby shnieder2 » Thu May 06, 2010 9:44 pm UTC

tastelikecoke wrote: ability to see endospores in the naked eye.


ouch?

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Slavaa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Slavaa » Fri May 07, 2010 12:29 am UTC

The ability to switch from being good at QWERTY to good at Dvorak at will.

The ability to understand any language but only when it's part of a song that over one million people have heard before.

The ability to know what language an expression/word in your native language is derived from.

The ability to detect the exact temperature of something that you can already correctly guess the temperature of to within 10 degrees Celsius.

The ability to copy/paste something into Wordperfect without having to go through your reveal-codes and fix the font, size, colour, spacing, etc.

Some of these might actually be impressive, but definitely not "newspaper impressive".

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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Fri May 07, 2010 1:14 am UTC

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3rdtry wrote:If there ever is another World War, I hope they at least have the decency to call it "World War 2: Episode One"

doogly wrote:murder is a subset of being mean

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Fin Archangel
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Fin Archangel » Fri May 07, 2010 1:59 am UTC

The ability to know the end of a book, movie, show. etc just from watching the first 15 minutes.

Oh, wait, in today's world we can already do that. Sorry.
Spoiler:
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Jorpho
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jorpho » Fri May 07, 2010 2:34 am UTC

The ability to distract posters for hours on ends with a single link.

HAY LOOK TVTROPES

Also, the ability to confuse newbies. Very unimpressive.

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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Fri May 07, 2010 2:51 am UTC

You could at least TRY to get the color right.
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3rdtry wrote:If there ever is another World War, I hope they at least have the decency to call it "World War 2: Episode One"

doogly wrote:murder is a subset of being mean

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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun May 09, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

The power to always be Basically Decent. This would, of course, require you to cease to exist.
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3rdtry wrote:If there ever is another World War, I hope they at least have the decency to call it "World War 2: Episode One"

doogly wrote:murder is a subset of being mean

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Red Rule
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Red Rule » Sun May 09, 2010 6:50 pm UTC

The power to make any orange streetlight turn red.
"I gotta have a little bit of Orange juice
I gotta have.. my.. Orange juice!
I gotta have.. my.. Orange juice!
Juice juice juice juice juice juice juice juice
"

~Richard Feynman

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kernelpanic
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby kernelpanic » Sun May 09, 2010 7:08 pm UTC

Red Rule wrote:The power to make any orange streetlight turn red.

It's useful if you make the other sign red so yours turns green earlier.

The power to fix dead pixels in any screen, but only after going through a procedure involving pentagrams, a goat's blood, fire, and the Dark Bible of Necromancy.
By the way, it's a great name for a death metal/techno crossover (death techno?) band, "pixel necromancer"
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Vieto
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Vieto » Sun May 09, 2010 7:29 pm UTC

The ability to know what the person who is exactly on the other side of the planet as you is thinking.

Gypped
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Gypped » Sun May 09, 2010 8:07 pm UTC

The ability to make another person's nose itch after staring at it for a minute.
The ability to predict exactly when your toast is going to pop.
A 6th sense that goes off whenever a nearby baby poops in his/her diaper.

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Magnanimous
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Magnanimous » Mon May 10, 2010 4:02 am UTC

The ability to use the singular "they" in front of old-school grammarians without getting into trouble.
The power of Fridge Logic. :mrgreen: Actually, this would be kind of impressive.

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JayAr
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby JayAr » Mon May 10, 2010 4:25 am UTC

The ability to kill a man by swarming him with keyboard keys... provided the keys are made out of antimatter. (think about it)

The ability to hold telepathic speed of light communications with an alien on the other side of the galaxy.

The ability to have any dream you want, as long as you share it with the nearest cat.

To speak in lolspeak, in real life with no mispronunciations.

To say XKCD as a word, not by spelling each letter out.
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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Mon May 10, 2010 3:05 pm UTC

JayAr wrote:The ability to have any dream you want, as long as you share it with the nearest cat.

That could potentially cause the cat to develop a human fetish.
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3rdtry wrote:If there ever is another World War, I hope they at least have the decency to call it "World War 2: Episode One"

doogly wrote:murder is a subset of being mean

levantis
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby levantis » Wed May 12, 2010 1:15 pm UTC

The Scyphozoa wrote:The ability to instantly recall, word-for-word, any newspaper article you have read that contains a reference to Graham's number.


Actually, it`s extremely useful without indirect reference - you`d be able to remember any piece of information by creating an article which contains the info you need plus the reference. Webblogs` articles are articles too, right?

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bocochoco
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby bocochoco » Wed May 12, 2010 1:34 pm UTC

What about the ability to hit a cantaloupe with a hammer, using your mind. But that's all you can hit.
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PM 2Ring
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby PM 2Ring » Wed May 12, 2010 1:45 pm UTC

The ability to translate into Euskara (Basque language) anything said to you in any other language.

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Badion
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Badion » Wed May 12, 2010 2:00 pm UTC

The ability to sense when the mail has arrived.
One of these things is not like the others.
Every penny saved costs the government 2.1cents.

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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Wed May 12, 2010 3:23 pm UTC

Um... the ability to talk to people without muttering into your soup?
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3rdtry wrote:If there ever is another World War, I hope they at least have the decency to call it "World War 2: Episode One"

doogly wrote:murder is a subset of being mean

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Phrozt
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Phrozt » Wed May 12, 2010 7:00 pm UTC

The ability to part red soup (and only red soup) with your mind.

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Badion
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Badion » Mon May 17, 2010 4:23 pm UTC

the ability to produce cookies with not enough chocolate chips and that funky after taste you get when you have had too much artificial sweetener, you know what I am talking about.....Oh look a cookie.
One of these things is not like the others.
Every penny saved costs the government 2.1cents.

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Kromix
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Kromix » Mon May 17, 2010 5:22 pm UTC

the ability of registering to have internets.
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Click Me! <---- Click There! :)
Spoiler:
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neoliminal
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby neoliminal » Thu May 20, 2010 1:40 am UTC

To infallibly identify the exact water treatment plant your drinking water came from.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073YYXRC
Read My Book. Cost less than coffee. Will probably keep you awake longer.
[hint, scary!]

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Vieto
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Vieto » Thu May 20, 2010 2:35 am UTC

The ability to win the game.

The xkcd comic doesn't count; technically it just makes you lose twenty dollars and my self respect.

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Jorpho
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jorpho » Thu May 20, 2010 3:14 am UTC

The ability to defy Rule 34: your existence is entirely devoid of anything that the human psyche could find the least bit arousing.

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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Elvish Pillager » Thu May 20, 2010 3:28 am UTC

Jorpho wrote:The ability to defy Rule 34: your existence is entirely devoid of anything that the human psyche could find the least bit arousing.

That would be sweet.
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby eaglef2 » Thu May 20, 2010 7:27 am UTC

The ability to fly 6 inches of the ground, as long as your cell phone gets service, and the provider is anything but Verizon
The power to melt ice non spontaneously
The power to mix oil and water
The ability to take back what you say and then say it again
explanation
Spoiler:
You're a bitch!

I'm sorry let me start over:

You're a fucking bitch! There's a difference.
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Vieto
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Vieto » Thu May 20, 2010 11:30 am UTC

The ability to teleport anywhere in the universe... with the universe moving the exact same displacement as you.

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tastelikecoke
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby tastelikecoke » Thu May 20, 2010 1:06 pm UTC

Ability to impress people with unimpressive superpowers.
Ability to formulate self-references swiftly.
Ability to make a funny lolcat enough for 4.5 cheeseburgers.
Ability to playback conversations.

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SlyReaper
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby SlyReaper » Thu May 20, 2010 1:12 pm UTC

The ability to solve any Rubix Cube which is already one twist away from being completed.
The ability to know whether or not it's snowing in Kenya.
The ability to travel through time 1.01x faster than usual.
The ability to spout inane drivel on the Internet.
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What would Baron Harkonnen do?

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Phrozt
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Phrozt » Thu May 20, 2010 2:20 pm UTC

The ability to spontaneously shed all your hair.

stardragon
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby stardragon » Thu May 20, 2010 2:36 pm UTC

The ability to make anyone unimpressed by anything.

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SlyReaper
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby SlyReaper » Thu May 20, 2010 3:30 pm UTC

The ability to stare at MatLab code for hours and hours and hours without going mad.
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What would Baron Harkonnen do?

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neoliminal
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby neoliminal » Thu May 20, 2010 4:07 pm UTC

The ability to bring up Nazies in an internet argument discussion and always make a valid point that doesn't end the argument discussion.
The ability to stop "that song" in your head.
The unwavering ability to finish peoples sentences for them incorrectly, but in a way that everyone is too embarrassed to point out.
The ability to know how much to tip in every culture and situation.
The ability to recite the alphabet backwards while drunk, but with the caveat that at the end you always must say "Pretty good for a drunk guy." (even if you are female.)
The ability to appear in random peoples dreams while you are dreaming... but not to have any real control over either dream.

stardragon wrote:The ability to make anyone unimpressed by anything.


Impressive.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073YYXRC
Read My Book. Cost less than coffee. Will probably keep you awake longer.
[hint, scary!]

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kaimason1
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby kaimason1 » Fri May 21, 2010 12:26 am UTC

eaglef2 wrote:The ability to fly 6 inches of the ground, as long as your cell phone gets service, and the provider is anything but Verizon.

That would actually be pretty awesome.

The ability to float 3 nanometers higher than normal for 3 nanoseconds.
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Dman3003
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Dman3003 » Fri May 21, 2010 12:36 am UTC

(first Post)

the ability to fill up empty water bottles as long as you have drunk from them before and are looking at the source of water to fill it up with.

The ability to always find the glitch in a game that causes deletion of your OS.

The ability to think of good threads but only when you are alone with no way of writing or typing it.

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Jorpho
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jorpho » Fri May 21, 2010 12:44 am UTC

The ability to psychically write messages on dust-covered surfaces. As long as no one is looking. And as long as the message is "wash me".

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Badion
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Badion » Fri May 21, 2010 5:50 pm UTC

the ability to dial a phone using your pinky
One of these things is not like the others.
Every penny saved costs the government 2.1cents.

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neoliminal
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby neoliminal » Mon May 24, 2010 5:03 pm UTC

Ability to identify the gender of a furry from 100 meters.

Ability to tell which elements of a movie or TV show are special effects.

Ability to count to a million in under 10 seconds in your head.

Ability to know the exact number of letters in a mailbox.

Ability to exactly the right amount of sugar in any particular person's cup of tea or coffee.

Ability to attract members of the same sex into flirtatious conversation while being completely and unambiguously heterosexual.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0073YYXRC
Read My Book. Cost less than coffee. Will probably keep you awake longer.
[hint, scary!]

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tastelikecoke
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby tastelikecoke » Thu May 27, 2010 2:41 pm UTC

Ability to fix cool glitches in the games you play.

Ability to push air away from you.


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