Unimpressive superpowers

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eaglef2
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby eaglef2 » Fri May 28, 2010 6:36 am UTC

ability to make lyrics to any elevator music you hear
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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Fri May 28, 2010 4:14 pm UTC

And they're all motivational songs: "Do. Do do do. Dooo do do."
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kargool
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby kargool » Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:14 am UTC

The ability to weaken magnets

The ability to suck the blood of cats, but not gain any nutritional value from it

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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby eggdudeguy » Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:55 am UTC

Telekenetic powers over only toenail clippings
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JonR
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby JonR » Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:30 am UTC

the ability to know what was in your parents fridge. Three months ago.
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tastelikecoke
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby tastelikecoke » Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:58 pm UTC

ability to know how fucking magnets work

ability to spot memes using color synesthesia

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Darkname
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Darkname » Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:17 pm UTC

The ability to destroy a planet in another galaxy
BLARG!!

Gypped
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Gypped » Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:00 pm UTC

JonR wrote:the ability to know what was in your parents fridge. Three months ago.

Plan ahead and you could put some test notes or the like in there!


The ability to uncrease paper.

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JonR
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby JonR » Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:54 pm UTC

the ability to bend plant leaves. just by blowing on them.
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SlyReaper
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby SlyReaper » Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:26 pm UTC

The ability to perfectly forsee impending disaster but nobody ever believes you. Poor Cassandra. :(
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Jorpho
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jorpho » Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:22 pm UTC

A psychic connection to the Internet, but it only allows you to search the Alt Usenet hierarchy, or use the Gopher protocol. ("It seemed like such a great idea twenty years ago!")

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bitsplit
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby bitsplit » Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:30 pm UTC

The power to flush any toilet without it clogging.

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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:57 am UTC

The power to change traffic lights as you're approaching - but it only works going green to red.
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tastelikecoke
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby tastelikecoke » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:30 am UTC

Ability to summon an atheist and a creationist beside you while on an important meeting.

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bitsplit
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby bitsplit » Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:02 pm UTC

The ability to sing any ABBA song backwards in order to power banana spontaneous combustion.

The ability to close off any cubicle with the extra walls it needs, using only your mind.

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Kizyr
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Kizyr » Thu Jun 24, 2010 5:16 pm UTC

bitsplit wrote:The power to flush any toilet without it clogging.

I think you underestimate how monumentally useful this would be to some people. KF
~Kizyr
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bitsplit
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby bitsplit » Thu Jun 24, 2010 5:24 pm UTC

Kizyr wrote:
bitsplit wrote:The power to flush any toilet without it clogging.

I think you underestimate how monumentally useful this would be to some people. KF

It might be, but it's not superhero useful. Maybe plumber useful, or on a date with someone that's out of your league useful.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Oregonaut » Thu Jun 24, 2010 6:24 pm UTC

The power to fully digest corn.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

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Phrozt
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Phrozt » Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:16 pm UTC

The power to compose posts that will make one random person chuckle slightly, once.

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brakos82
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby brakos82 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:26 pm UTC

The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Duban » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:04 pm UTC

The ability to make any processor complete 1 cycle instantly, once every 24 hours.
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Whelan
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Whelan » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:15 pm UTC

brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.
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Kromix
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Kromix » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:23 pm UTC

Whelan wrote:
brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.

the ability to tell the difference between a honeydew melon and a watermelon by fondling them...
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Welsh Mullet
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Welsh Mullet » Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:20 pm UTC

Ability to whistle at a slightly different frequency to anyone else in the room currently whistling, but only enough so that it is not noticeable.

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Vieto
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Vieto » Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:34 am UTC

Kromix wrote:
Whelan wrote:
brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.

the ability to tell the difference between a honeydew melon and a watermelon by fondling them...

The ability to determine the exact co-ordinates an orange was grown by eating the seeds.

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bitsplit
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby bitsplit » Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:20 pm UTC

The power to make 1 cubic centimeter of lint appear I can see within 10 feet, at will, but it vanishes in 6 seconds.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:38 pm UTC

Vieto wrote:
Kromix wrote:
Whelan wrote:
brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.

the ability to tell the difference between a honeydew melon and a watermelon by fondling them...

The ability to determine the exact co-ordinates an orange was grown by eating the seeds.

The ability to hurl a pumpkin exactly one inch further than necessary.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Odd_nonposter
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Odd_nonposter » Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:53 pm UTC

The power to parts of sentences.
The power to flatten any object so long as there is a hammer nearby and said object can be flattened by a force of 1N.
The power to evenly microwave things. (Unimpressive, but useful.)
The power to always split infinitives.

Oregonaut wrote:
Vieto wrote:
Kromix wrote:
Whelan wrote:
brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.

the ability to tell the difference between a honeydew melon and a watermelon by fondling them...

The ability to determine the exact co-ordinates an orange was grown by eating the seeds.

The ability to hurl a pumpkin exactly one inch further than necessary.


The ability to make an annoying nested quote.
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Phrozt
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Phrozt » Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:17 pm UTC

Kromix wrote:
Whelan wrote:
brakos82 wrote:The ability to differentiate between a peach and a nectarine by smelling it.
The power to tell the difference between an apple and a banana by their colour.

the ability to tell the difference between a honeydew melon and a watermelon by fondling them...


The ability to tell the difference between a lime and a jungle cat by looking at them.

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PM 2Ring
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby PM 2Ring » Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:11 pm UTC

The ability to appear sexually attractive to any creature, as long as they are not a member of your own species.

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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jumble » Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:51 pm UTC

Ability to block the signal from an iphone using only your hands
Spoiler:
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zerker2000
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby zerker2000 » Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:54 am UTC

The ability to summon dead fish.
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tastelikecoke
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby tastelikecoke » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:57 am UTC

ability to create weapons composed of ice

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SlyReaper
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:31 am UTC

tastelikecoke wrote:ability to create weapons composed of ice

That would be pretty impressive actually.
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What would Baron Harkonnen do?

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PM 2Ring
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby PM 2Ring » Sat Jun 26, 2010 3:55 pm UTC

Yeah. Ice weapons are notoriously hard to trace. There are rumours that some hitmen have used ice bullets. I guess they could be pre-chilled in Dry Ice or liquid nitrogen to reduce melting from the heat of firing. Ice is usually rather brittle, but there are ways of getting around that...


Unimpressive superpower: The ability to make your body odour instantly resemble the odour of any fast food restaurant of your choice.

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Jorpho
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Jorpho » Sat Jun 26, 2010 4:28 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:Unimpressive superpower: The ability to make your body odour instantly resemble the odour of any fast food restaurant of your choice.
Spoiler:
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Gypped
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby Gypped » Sat Jun 26, 2010 5:52 pm UTC

The ability to consume any food, no matter how disgusting, without feeling any ill effects.
The ability to stop someone from sneezing.

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The Scyphozoa
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:57 am UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
tastelikecoke wrote:ability to create weapons composed of ice

That would be pretty impressive actually.

Yeah, if they're functional weapons, that would be awesome.
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JonR
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby JonR » Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:20 pm UTC

the ability to see light waves a few tenths of a percent outside of the normal optical wavelength visible to 'average Joe'
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eaglef2
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Re: Unimpressive superpowers

Postby eaglef2 » Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:01 pm UTC

power to copy the power of any character in a movie that you see in a cinema
Spoiler:
as long as the movie is a romantic comedy
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