"Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

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Postby une see » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:16 pm UTC

Your mother has trouble walking up the stairs without getting out of breath. She can barely fit through your doorway at times. She can eat three pizza pies all at once. She doesn't fit in the XL sizes of men's clothing. Now, there could be multiple explanations for all these things, but why don't we use Occam's razor to eliminate all the less plausible answers? Okay, we've narrowed it down to one explanation:

She's a lard-ass. A fat fuck. Obese beyond all belief.

Yo mamma's fat.
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Postby MotorToad » Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:36 pm UTC

I'm shocked not to have seen this...

"Your mom has reached singularity."

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Postby gmalivuk » Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:44 pm UTC

MotorToad wrote:I'm shocked not to have seen this...

"Your mom has reached singularity."


Probably you didn't see it because you didn't read close enough. Your joke is nothing more than a mathematical consequence of the jokes that involve your mom's gravitational collapse.
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Postby Stief » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:37 pm UTC

Your mom is Schroedinger's bitch......maybe
bbctol wrote:There is a term for what you have created. I believe it is "Dude- that shit is EPIC."

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Postby Earlz » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:37 pm UTC

Your mother has an xkcd wattle, she uses it to close tags!


ok...I really don't have any jokes...
(wattle is a word!?)
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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:15 pm UTC

Earlz wrote:(wattle is a word!?)


As in, wattle and daub, what mudhuts are made of. Wattle is the sticks, IIRC.
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Postby T3m3r1ty » Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:56 pm UTC

A wattle is also a fleshy dewlap or carbuncle hanging from various parts of the head in several groups of birds, including:

* From the neck or throat
o Galliformes: Domestic chickens, turkeys, and others
o Some Vultures
o YOUR MOMMA
o Some lapwings
o The Australian Wattlebirds (Anthochaera spp.)
o The New Zealand Wattlebirds (Callaeidae), which include the Kokako, Tieke or Saddleback, and the Huia
* From the eyes
o The African Wattle-eye or Puffback flycatcher
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Postby Cheese » Fri Jul 13, 2007 9:29 pm UTC

Your mom's so stupid, when asked to boot up the computer, she kicked it
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Postby Stief » Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

01111001 01101111 00100000 01101101 01101111 01101101 01101101 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000

then again....neither can I really
bbctol wrote:There is a term for what you have created. I believe it is "Dude- that shit is EPIC."

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Shro » Fri Oct 19, 2007 8:51 pm UTC

Necro'd for:

If your mom was a class, her insert method would be public.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Cheese » Fri Oct 19, 2007 8:55 pm UTC

That that is is that that is not is not that that is not that that is is not that that is your mom.
Spoiler:
That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is not "that that is" is not that that is your mom.
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Amicitia » Fri Oct 19, 2007 9:27 pm UTC

Your mother is so corpulent, people construct marginally humorous jokes about her.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby keozen » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:24 pm UTC

I almost ran over your mom on the freeway the other day, thankfully she so fat that I ran out of gas while swerving around her
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby d33p » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:42 pm UTC

Your mama ate pi. ALL OF IT.

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Moo » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:45 pm UTC

d33p wrote:Your mama ate pi. ALL OF IT.
Win.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Matthias » Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:05 pm UTC

Your mom's so fat, she cast a protection from evil spell on herself and it didn't reach her circumference.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Conspiricy » Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:32 am UTC

not scientific at all...
Yo' mamma's sooo fat her shadow broke the bed!
slightly scientific...
Yo mamma so fat that pluto ajusted its orbit towards earth!
Not scientific...
Yo mamma so old, her classmate was moses!
yo' mamma's so fat she, she...ah, fuck it.
Yo' mamma's so ugly man-whores reject her
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:47 pm UTC

Matthias wrote:Your mom's so fat, she cast a protection from evil spell on herself and it didn't reach her circumference.



I hope you mean, Magic Circle against Evil, because protection from ___ spells are Range: Personal!
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Cheese » Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:26 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:
Matthias wrote:Your mom's so fat, she cast a Magic Circle against Evil spell on herself and it didn't reach her circumference.



Ah, you mean Magic Circle against Evil, because protection from ___ spells are Range: Personal!


Okay, fix'd.

Your ma's so fat that she's got a magnetic field - she can't go near a hard disk or CRT monitor!
hermaj wrote:No-one. Will. Be. Taking. Cheese's. Spot.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Cheese is utterly correct on all fronts.
SecondTalon wrote:That thing that Cheese just said. Do that.
Meaux_Pas wrote:I hereby disagree and declare Cheese to be brilliant.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Matthias » Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:49 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:I hope you mean, Magic Circle against Evil, because protection from ___ spells are Range: Personal!

Actually, they're Range: Touch, but yeah, the effect I was thinking of was magic circle. Although apparently that one's touch too.
Harrumph.

Yo mama's so dumb, Illithids use her as a form of torture.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby keozen » Thu Oct 25, 2007 12:56 am UTC

Your mom so ugly that she forces a will save in order to cast touch attacks on her. Successful attacks force a fort save to keep contents of stomach.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Geekthras » Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:05 am UTC

Foxtrot: Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't evaluate a nested trig function, even if you gave her a computer!


The "that that is "sentence to end all (until you get the pattern)
That that is not that that is not that that is is not that that is not that this is is that that is not that that is not.
Wait. With a SPOON?!

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby keozen » Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:08 am UTC

Yo momma so fat that I started a ripple going to measure her body fat and, well, could you tell me if it ever stops
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Ansain » Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:44 am UTC

your mother is so dumb, she's devoted the last 20 years of her life to integrating sin(t) / t .
Why put off till today what you could just as easily get done tomorrow?

I can mathematically prove that 1 equals 0!.

Parts a-x in my plan weren't that important anyways.

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby fireninja237 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:00 am UTC

Your mother has such a great mass, that it took 17 space shuttle launches to get all of her into space.

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Re:

Postby Phrozt » Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:41 pm UTC

crazyjimbo wrote:
CreemyNougat wrote:I think your mom's missing some critical security updates, because it took me no time at all to get into her backdoor.


This one wins.

I fingered your mom last night. Then she let me touch and grep in her home.


Ya, well your mom grepped my root. (and/or) I fscked your mom.

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Spambot5546 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:23 pm UTC

Odd necro.

Anyway, yo mamma so nasty even Rice Crispies won't talk to her.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Max2009 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:09 pm UTC

Yo mamma so dumb she necro'd a thread about yo mamma jokes.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Platypodes » Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:31 pm UTC

Your mama's so dumb, she posts "first post!!!11!"
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Thesh » Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:43 pm UTC

Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks Euler extracts petroleum from wells!
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Platypodes » Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:29 pm UTC

Your mama's so tacky, she uses <blink> tags.
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby krucifi » Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:55 am UTC

yo mama so fat and stupid she has the largest number from the "my number is bigger than yours" thread tattoo'd on her ass... in comic sans... size 12 font...
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby D3vinsawhog » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:01 pm UTC

Your mom is SO computer illiterate, that BLIND people can do circles around her...

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Platypodes » Fri Oct 29, 2010 12:27 am UTC

Your mom's so dumb, she tells "your mom" jokes to you!

(Not exactly nerdy, but self-reference is an xkcd theme too...)
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Max2009 » Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:40 am UTC

Yo mamma is SO dumb this is her favorite joke:
Yo mamma wrote:There are only two kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby JonR » Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:10 am UTC

yo momma so dumb, she thought she got pregnant watching a porn movie.
when you grew up to be so brainy, she thought that you couldn't possibly be her child.
when you told her your school grades, you had to teach her the alphabet first.
when paeleontologists talk about neaderthal man, they use your momma as a living example.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Max2009 » Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:23 pm UTC

JonR wrote:yo momma so dumb, she thought she got pregnant watching a porn movie.
when you grew up to be so brainy, she thought that you couldn't possibly be her child.
when you told her your school grades, you had to teach her the alphabet first.
when paeleontologists talk about neaderthal man, they use your momma as a living example.

Yo mamma is so dumb she raised kids who can't get the point of the thread.
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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Platypodes » Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:25 am UTC

Yo mama so dumb, when she heard "pi r squared" she said, "No it ain't, it's round!"
videogamesizzle wrote:so, uh, seen any good arbitrary, high numbers lately?

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Mazuku » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:07 am UTC

Yo momma is so ugly that when she goes swimming, blobfish try to mate with her.

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Re: "Your mom" jokes...for XKCDers...

Postby Thesh » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:13 am UTC

Yo mama's so fat, if she eats one more cake she'll fall inside her own Schwarzschild radius.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.


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