ContextBot

For all your silly time-killing forum games.

Moderators: jestingrabbit, Moderators General, Prelates

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Sean Quixote
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Location: Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan

ContextBot

Postby Sean Quixote » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:01 am UTC

ITT, we alternate between posting ambiguous comments like those seen on social networks, and the bot putting them into (hopefully esoteric) context.



FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE

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NeatNit
Posts: 44
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:10 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby NeatNit » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:54 am UTC

Sean Quixote wrote:FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE

(He set his girlfriend's house on fire after she broke up with him)



I am never trying that again.

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dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:24 pm UTC

NeatNit wrote:I am never trying that again.

Upon cloning various dinosaurs using partial DNA and some amphibious DNA to compensate, he realized that the velociraptors could reproduce to wreak havoc, and, worst of all, they had terrible taste in music, always blasting swear-filled rap across the island and annoying the Tyrannosaurs, who were trying to have their tea and classical music in peace.

"Huh, seventy-two."

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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NeatNit
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Re: ContextBot

Postby NeatNit » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:35 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:Huh, seventy-two.
(He counted how many fingers he has.)




There aren't enough berries in the world for that.

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najodleglejszy
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Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:45 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby najodleglejszy » Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:10 pm UTC

NeatNit wrote:There aren't enough berries in the world for that.


(he realized that blueberries won't provide enough energy to propel him outside the galaxy)


that was going on and on for MUCH too long.

Lawsome
Posts: 86
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 7:35 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Lawsome » Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:17 pm UTC

najodleglejszy wrote:that was going on and on for MUCH too long.

Clearly dissatisfied in bed.

;(
Spoiler:
Image
Quizatzhaderac wrote:
Rosewinsall wrote:DOWN WITH CERTAINTY!

Are you certain of that?

Moose Anus wrote:I let my wife think I'm watching porn in the bathroom late at night, but I'm really playing Dwarf Fortress instead.

forbiddenSpell
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:44 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby forbiddenSpell » Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:14 pm UTC

Lawsome wrote:Clearly dissatisfied in bed.

;(


(Ran out of sleeping pills)

Best day of work ever.

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NeatNit
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Re: ContextBot

Postby NeatNit » Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:17 pm UTC

forbiddenSpell wrote:Best day of work ever.
(He was puked on by a walrus in the zoo where he works, and has a weird fetish for animal puke)



Now that's what I call a sticky situation!

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Moose Anus
Posts: 418
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Re: ContextBot

Postby Moose Anus » Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:44 pm UTC

He just won at pooh sticks.

That's not funny.
Lemonade? ...Aww, ok.

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dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:08 pm UTC

Moose Anus wrote:That's not funny.

His roommate just said "hello."

Like, totally. You know what I mean?

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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The Moomin
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Location: Yorkshire

Re: ContextBot

Postby The Moomin » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:11 pm UTC

dzamie wrote:
Like, totally. You know what I mean?


I'm agreeing with you, and reinforcing that agreement by asking you if you know how much I am agreeing with you, as I have not got a clue in hell what just happened.

It was all going well until a certain someone came along.
I'm alive because the cats are alive.
The cats are alive because I'm alive.
Specious.

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Rosewinsall
Posts: 48
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Re: ContextBot

Postby Rosewinsall » Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:16 pm UTC

The Moomin wrote:It was all going well until a certain someone came along.

(his wife caught him having sex with another woman)


Damn this feels good.

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dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Tue Jul 24, 2012 1:31 am UTC

Rosewinsall wrote:Damn this feels good.

(he is getting eaten by a tiger, and is missing the punctuation required to express his surprise and disappointment at his enjoyment of the activity)

Qxzsw32c v77un h9lol/.p00/;

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

Socks
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:43 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Socks » Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:27 pm UTC

(He has had his brain commandeered by an extra terrestrial, and it has not yet mastered the art of social interactions with others of the human race)

Yeah, like that is going to happen.

Lawsome
Posts: 86
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 7:35 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Lawsome » Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:41 pm UTC

(He is being asked to have his brain commandeered by an extra terrestrial)

Mmmmmm
Spoiler:
Image
Quizatzhaderac wrote:
Rosewinsall wrote:DOWN WITH CERTAINTY!

Are you certain of that?

Moose Anus wrote:I let my wife think I'm watching porn in the bathroom late at night, but I'm really playing Dwarf Fortress instead.

User avatar
The Moomin
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Location: Yorkshire

Re: ContextBot

Postby The Moomin » Tue Jul 24, 2012 3:10 pm UTC

(Squishing jelly between the toes)

I don't see how I could have done anything differently.
I'm alive because the cats are alive.
The cats are alive because I'm alive.
Specious.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Tue Jul 24, 2012 6:01 pm UTC

The Moomin wrote:I don't see how I could have done anything differently.

(He just blew up an entire planet to prove a point to his wayward daughter)

lol karma

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

Lawsome
Posts: 86
Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 7:35 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Lawsome » Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:30 pm UTC

Kicked a child so he was struck by lightning, thor, for striking a random guywith lightning, had one of his daughters kicked by someone.

I don't see why you would think that would be a good idea.
Spoiler:
Image
Quizatzhaderac wrote:
Rosewinsall wrote:DOWN WITH CERTAINTY!

Are you certain of that?

Moose Anus wrote:I let my wife think I'm watching porn in the bathroom late at night, but I'm really playing Dwarf Fortress instead.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:11 pm UTC

Lawsome wrote:I don't see why you would think that would be a good idea.

(He's watching someone poke a sleeping chimera with a meterstick)

Piff is the best sound ever!

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: ContextBot

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:19 pm UTC

Piff is the password at the door of the compound where a rebel militia is holding zem hostage. If ze said anything less cryptic ze would be put to death, so this is zir only hope of rescue.

Is anyone there?
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
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Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: ContextBot

Postby poxic » Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:28 pm UTC

(Dr. Dia is tripping balls.)

Life sucks hard today.
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (14 Jan 1875-1965)

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Dr. Diaphanous
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Re: ContextBot

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:34 pm UTC

(poxic is impressed at how firmly limpets attach to rocks.)


Apparently he didn't have it.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

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Bartimaeus
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Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: ContextBot

Postby Bartimaeus » Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:36 pm UTC

(Dr D's sunglasses were on his head, rather than in his friend's possession as he had assumed)

I LOST ALL OF IT!

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dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:57 am UTC

Bartimaeus wrote:I LOST ALL OF IT!

(He played The Game multiple times in parallel.)

leedleedleedleedleedle

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

willaaaaaa
Posts: 79
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:09 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: ContextBot

Postby willaaaaaa » Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:21 am UTC

(He accidently held ctrl-V for too long.)

Some people are just so self-centered.
"If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life." - Bill Watterson

User avatar
Dr. Diaphanous
Posts: 252
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Location: UK

Re: ContextBot

Postby Dr. Diaphanous » Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:52 pm UTC

(willaaaaaa thinks that thought is based not in the brain, but in your centre of gravity, where a homunculus that is identical to the person lives.)

I'm so happy with this.
"God works in mysterious and breathtakingly cruel ways."

SchighSchagh
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:16 am UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby SchighSchagh » Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:27 pm UTC

(Just succeeded convincing the ol' ball-and-chain to buy a replacement for his old Predicta tube.)

Every. Single. Time!!!

Ralith The Third
Don't Ask About His Nephews
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Re: ContextBot

Postby Ralith The Third » Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:56 pm UTC

(He succame to confirmation bias. It doesn't actually happen every time, in fact it's closer to 60% of the time)

Oh, *crap.* That's not good...
Omni.

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ShortChelsea
One thousand four hundred and thirty seven
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:26 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby ShortChelsea » Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:58 pm UTC

(Ralith was caught sexting the computer he/she owns)
Why can't certain people just behave?

Socks
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:43 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Socks » Wed Jul 25, 2012 3:25 pm UTC

(The child ShortChelsea used to nanny (now a US congresswoman) has initiated new legislature that will ban short people from using the internet.)

I swear, if they try that again...

User avatar
ShortChelsea
One thousand four hundred and thirty seven
Posts: 178
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:26 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby ShortChelsea » Wed Jul 25, 2012 6:15 pm UTC

(Sock's hometown is trying to ban same sex marriage for the fifth time)
Ugh. Boyfriends. Amiright?

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dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:52 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:Ugh. Boyfriends. Amiright?

(She just discovered that her boyfriend is a serial murderer, just like the last five)

Well, no more cabbage for me!

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

SchighSchagh
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:16 am UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby SchighSchagh » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:37 pm UTC

(All Cabbages were in the discard pile when the Martians used Proto Bomb.)

Yabba dabba doo!!

Aside: ShortChelsea survived 6 serial murderer boyfriends? wow!

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ShortChelsea
One thousand four hundred and thirty seven
Posts: 178
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:26 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby ShortChelsea » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:53 pm UTC

(The poster above me has word salad)
I hate it when people assume things.

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The Moomin
Posts: 358
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Location: Yorkshire

Re: ContextBot

Postby The Moomin » Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:15 pm UTC

ShortChelsea wrote:I hate it when people assume things.


(I hate it when I try to be mysterious and people see through me every single time)

LOL. They won't be doing that again.
I'm alive because the cats are alive.
The cats are alive because I'm alive.
Specious.

User avatar
SlyReaper
inflatable
Posts: 8015
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:09 pm UTC
Location: Bristol, Old Blighty

Re: ContextBot

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:17 pm UTC

(Moomin just watched someone jump from 20,000 feet without a parachute. Glory glory, what a hell of a way to die.)

I can't believe I said that.
Image
What would Baron Harkonnen do?

User avatar
Bartimaeus
Posts: 111
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:35 pm UTC
Location: Somewhere near NYC, but nobody's heard of

Re: ContextBot

Postby Bartimaeus » Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:37 pm UTC

(SlyReaper said "lulz" in normal conversation)
Although to be honest that IS something to be ashamed of. Not that I don't say it but....

I... I guess this is just how it's supposed to be.

User avatar
dzamie
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:12 pm UTC
Location: The land of crab cakes and Old Bay.

Re: ContextBot

Postby dzamie » Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:46 pm UTC

Bartimaeus wrote:I... I guess this is just how it's supposed to be.

(Bartimaeus realized that puzzles don't usually have alternate solutions, and is slightly upset at the fact that there is only one.)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Code: Select all

:Clrhome
:while 1
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16),randInt(0,9))
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:Output(randInt(1,8),randInt(1,16)," ")
:End

User avatar
SlyReaper
inflatable
Posts: 8015
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:09 pm UTC
Location: Bristol, Old Blighty

Re: ContextBot

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:47 pm UTC

(dzamie just pissed himself)

What can I say? Life just sucks.
Image
What would Baron Harkonnen do?

User avatar
Moose Anus
Posts: 418
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:12 pm UTC

Re: ContextBot

Postby Moose Anus » Thu Jul 26, 2012 8:59 pm UTC

(He had to walk the dog and do the dishes in the same day)

Why don't I have one of these?!
Lemonade? ...Aww, ok.


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