Amusing answers to tests

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby spectacu-awesome » Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:34 pm UTC

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She sure is
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Aesar » Wed Dec 19, 2007 8:13 pm UTC

Haha I laughed my ass off on some contributions here. Haha still shaking
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Popidge » Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:55 am UTC

OK guys. Here's an oppurtunity to be part of this.
I have a couple of A-Level Chemistry exams coming up January.
One of them is Unit 4: Periodicity & Organic Chemistry II, our first A2-Level Examination
This is the one we've been working on recently, so i'll be doing my best to get high marks (as i plan on taking Chemistry at University next year).

But, our Chemistry Lecturer (A great bloke named Dr. Kettle, whom we're convinced is Santa Claus at his Day-job) has also re-entered us in for Unit 1: Structure & Bonding, an exam we all took last (academic) year (June '07), and I got a very good grade A on. He say's we're guaranteed to do better in this one because of all the basics from Unit 1 are re-capped and developed further into Unit 4.

I hear that examiners hate marking papers. So i want to make this paper as enjoyable to mark as i can, whilst still managing to pull of a good score (possibly better than the 72/90 i got last time)

SO, what am i going to put? Well, you can help me decide. The exam is on the 17th Jan 2008.
Whatever i use from other will be credited in the paper (if i can remember your names, i'm not allowed to take any notes etc. in with me), and i'll even pay the exam board's horrendous fee to have the marked paper sent back to me so i can scan it and show everyone what i did.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Likpok » Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:50 am UTC

I once answered a question in nanofortnights. I always meant to remember more stuff, so answer in term of rods²*stones/nanoftnight².

Unfortunately, I could never remember the conversions.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby BlackSails » Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:50 am UTC

On my chem final last year:

Some Alien presents you with the following series of electrochemical reactions, which take place in his alien environment. Could you tell him if each of these reactions would take place on earth?


I hate electrochemistry, and it was a bitch of a problem so I said

"No, I dont speak alien"

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Iori_Yagami » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:21 pm UTC

Umm, not to sound offtopic, but why all tasks are so illustrated? Those aliens, Traceys, talk-shmalks? Do they really believe they can explain 'sciency' stuff better that way? I studied mostly in 90s, and I don't remember that. We had tons of tasks which sounded like - 40ml of 10% solution of NaCl is mixed with 2 mol of sulfuric acid. Determine blah, blah, blah...
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby pkuky » Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:16 pm UTC

I had a test question today which I didn't have a clue how to answer. (if N points are picked in the square, and a good point (x,y) is one for which there exists no points in the square (1-x,1-y), what is the avarage good point?). so I ended up trying to guess how to integrate functions for two variables. I wrote about half a page without having a clue to what I was doing, until I relised that I didn't even know how to integrate the function for one variable.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Triss Hawkeye » Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:18 pm UTC

At our school we get usual, boring questions in our workbooks, all car collisions and slopes. And then, lo! A question reads along the lines of: A ball is thrown into the air and lands on a triffid. Calculate the height of the triffid. (A list of variables followed).

I don't know why, but that question made me so happy. I did answer it, and I couldn't think of any witty answer to put under it, but it's a strange little question that may have been fun to think up something for if you didn't know the answer.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Xanthir » Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:18 pm UTC

I've got two examples from my own work.

First, in my second taking of Linear Algebra (I failed the first simply because I never went to class, even to take tests) I knew the subject so well that I could finish all my tests in well under half the allotted time. I'd usually just turn the paper in early and leave, but one day when I didn't have anything better to do I spent the last bit of time drawing a detailed picture of a magical kingdom, including a dragon and a castle and a forest of fairies, topped off by a princess riding a unicorn. I got a 99/100 on that test (lost a minus sign halfway through one problem), and a checkplus on my picture. ^_^

During my senior year of high school I didn't have a last period, so I'd often hang out in my girlfriend's Bio 2 class because the teacher knew me. She once gave a test and, having nothing better to do, I asked to take it as well. Note that I only attended about half the classes this test covered and never actually paid attention, read anything, or did any work. I still ended up doing better than a quarter of the class. One of my answers to a question that I didn't know involved the party-going habits of adenine. ^_^
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Nimz » Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:16 pm UTC

Image

I'm thinking about building a model of this. I already have the elephant:
Elephant.jpg
I'm in teh ways, borking ur problems. OMGLOL!
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Now I just need to find a frictionless surface, a massless spring, and I'll be set!
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Ended » Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:52 pm UTC

Nimz wrote:Image

I've just realised how weird this experimental setup is. I mean, a spring 5 metres long, wtf? That's some heavy-duty gear. And an object ~(2.5m)3 but with a mass of only 3kg? That gives an average density of about 0.0002 gcm-3 or 0.2 gL-1, an order of magnitude lower than that of gaseous nitrogen [1]. So I guess the answer to 'how high will it go up the slope' is 'until the atmosphere runs out'.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby adlaiff6 » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:49 pm UTC

Iori_Yagami wrote:Umm, not to sound offtopic, but why all tasks are so illustrated? Those aliens, Traceys, talk-shmalks? Do they really believe they can explain 'sciency' stuff better that way? I studied mostly in 90s, and I don't remember that. We had tons of tasks which sounded like - 40ml of 10% solution of NaCl is mixed with 2 mol of sulfuric acid. Determine blah, blah, blah...

You are standing in an infinite-dimensional vector space. Would you like to go:
(1,0,0,...), (0,1,0,0,...), (0,0,1,0,0,...), ... ?

>
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Torn Apart By Dingos » Fri Jan 04, 2008 4:16 am UTC

adlaiff6: I don't know what that has to do with the quote, but that's awesome. I'd play an adventure game like that. Even if you get pwned by a grue no matter what direction you choose.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby LoopQuantumGravity » Fri Jan 04, 2008 4:32 am UTC

adlaiff6 wrote:
Iori_Yagami wrote:Umm, not to sound offtopic, but why all tasks are so illustrated? Those aliens, Traceys, talk-shmalks? Do they really believe they can explain 'sciency' stuff better that way? I studied mostly in 90s, and I don't remember that. We had tons of tasks which sounded like - 40ml of 10% solution of NaCl is mixed with 2 mol of sulfuric acid. Determine blah, blah, blah...

You are standing in an infinite-dimensional vector space. Would you like to go:
(1,0,0,...), (0,1,0,0,...), (0,0,1,0,0,...), ... ?

>


So each direction you go is a different function? So the vectors correspond to, eg, the coefficients of a Taylor series? Awesome. What happens if you try to go in a nonanalytic direction?
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby adlaiff6 » Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:01 am UTC

LoopQuantumGravity wrote:
adlaiff6 wrote:
Iori_Yagami wrote:Umm, not to sound offtopic, but why all tasks are so illustrated? Those aliens, Traceys, talk-shmalks? Do they really believe they can explain 'sciency' stuff better that way? I studied mostly in 90s, and I don't remember that. We had tons of tasks which sounded like - 40ml of 10% solution of NaCl is mixed with 2 mol of sulfuric acid. Determine blah, blah, blah...

You are standing in an infinite-dimensional vector space. Would you like to go:
(1,0,0,...), (0,1,0,0,...), (0,0,1,0,0,...), ... ?

>


So each direction you go is a different function? So the vectors correspond to, eg, the coefficients of a Taylor series? Awesome. What happens if you try to go in a nonanalytic direction?

Uhh, you get pwned by a grue. Duh.
3.14159265... wrote:What about quantization? we DO live in a integer world?

crp wrote:oh, i thought you meant the entire funtion was f(n) = (-1)^n
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby quintopia » Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:43 am UTC

Ended wrote:So I guess the answer to 'how high will it go up the slope' is 'until the atmosphere runs out'.


On all my physics tests, it was stated at the beginning "Ignore air resistance unless otherwise stated." In other words, you could assume every described experiment happened in a vacuum.

By the way, the person who filled in the elephant test is an idiot: everyone with a brain knows that the mass will return exactly to its original height, or to a spot at the bottom of the ramp if there is an (perfectly inelastic, as all elephants are) elephant in the way, and that the spring will compress the same amount, elephant or not, and that the mass will never come to (permanent) rest, elephant or not. I've always wanted to say that.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby antonfire » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:45 am UTC

What? If the elephant is perfectly inelastic, then the mass will stick to the elephant, and won't come up to its original height. (Some of its kinetic energy will go into heat, not to mention that it now has an elephant attached to it.) The spring won't compress by the same amount either, barring blatant violations of the second law of thermodynamics.

If you meant a perfectly elastic elephant, then it's not obvious at all that the mass will eventually come up to the full height. If the elephant is significantly heavier than the mass, then it will bounce off the elephant and go back up the ramp several times before the elephant hits the spring, and when it does, the spring would not compress to the full amount, unless the mass happens to be at rest, which is quite unlikely. Similarly, the only way that the mass would come up to its full height on the ramp is if the elephant were at rest.

It would be interesting to see exactly in what setups the mass does eventually come back. It would depend on a lot more things than are given, though, such as the mass of the elephant, and the exact nature and length of the ramp and the area between it and the spring.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby btilly » Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:04 am UTC

antonfire wrote:What? If the elephant is perfectly inelastic, then the mass will stick to the elephant, and won't come up to its original height. (Some of its kinetic energy will go into heat, not to mention that it now has an elephant attached to it.) The spring won't compress by the same amount either, barring blatant violations of the second law of thermodynamics.

If you meant a perfectly elastic elephant, then it's not obvious at all that the mass will eventually come up to the full height. If the elephant is significantly heavier than the mass, then it will bounce off the elephant and go back up the ramp several times before the elephant hits the spring, and when it does, the spring would not compress to the full amount, unless the mass happens to be at rest, which is quite unlikely. Similarly, the only way that the mass would come up to its full height on the ramp is if the elephant were at rest.

It would be interesting to see exactly in what setups the mass does eventually come back. It would depend on a lot more things than are given, though, such as the mass of the elephant, and the exact nature and length of the ramp and the area between it and the spring.

I strongly suspect that in the case of a perfectly elastic elephant, no friction, and a perfect spring you'd find that the dynamics between the weight and elephant are chaotic. Given sufficient time the weight will eventually come arbitrarily close to the original height, but will never quite reach it because the elephant will always have some of the energy in the system.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby quintopia » Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:22 am UTC

Huh. I must have a mistaken conception of perfectly inelastic. What sort of situation would cause the elephant to absorb all the mass's momentum until they both have the same velocity, without any kinetic energy being lost?

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby M.qrius » Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:33 pm UTC

I think what you mean is that the ball hits the elephant, the ball then stops dead in its tracks, and the elephant starts moving with the same speed the ball was moving. Am I right?

That would happen when the ball and the elephant are the same mass, I believe. (And of course when the direction of the movement vector from the center of gravity of the ball points directly to the center of gravity of the elephant, and the surfaces that collide are perpendicular to this vector. Like you get with pool balls.)

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby antonfire » Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:27 pm UTC

quintopia wrote:Huh. I must have a mistaken conception of perfectly inelastic. What sort of situation would cause the elephant to absorb all the mass's momentum until they both have the same velocity, without any kinetic energy being lost?

There is no such situation. Do the calculations. If they end up moving at the same velocity, with the same net momentum as before, then the system has less kinetic energy.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Cramulh » Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:45 pm UTC

The question that fascinates me the most is how you put an elephant on a frictionless surface. Maybe with a crane. What if the elephant tries to move away from the mobile? Imagine the emotional state of an elephant on some sort of ice rink. In vacuum ! An elephant in vacuum !
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby SpitValve » Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:50 pm UTC

Cramulh wrote:The question that fascinates me the most is how you put an elephant on a frictionless surface. Maybe with a crane. What if the elephant tries to move away from the mobile? Imagine the emotional state of an elephant on some sort of ice rink. In vacuum ! An elephant in vacuum !


I bet he's a spherical black-body elephant as well. Poor bugger...

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Cheese » Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:20 am UTC

Iori_Yagami wrote:Umm, not to sound offtopic, but why all tasks are so illustrated? Those aliens, Traceys, talk-shmalks? Do they really believe they can explain 'sciency' stuff better that way? I studied mostly in 90s, and I don't remember that. We had tons of tasks which sounded like - 40ml of 10% solution of NaCl is mixed with 2 mol of sulfuric acid. Determine blah, blah, blah...
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Fedora » Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:24 am UTC

My high school physics teacher and my current physics professor both have the same custom:

If they notice that an unusually high number of people are missing class that day, they have a "red firetruck quiz"

Question 1: What color is a red firetruck?


Fun, but utterly demoralizing when someone gets it wrong.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Kabann » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:11 pm UTC

a. If this is a truly frictionless surface, a spring of ANY force constant will compress then return to its original shape, unless the object striking it has enough mass to deform the spring... so x should be zero.
b. If you define 'coming to rest' to mean 'no longer moving measurably' then the object can not, by definition, continue to move after it stops moving. Duh, the elephant can just stand there and watch nothing happen as far as I'm concerned.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby J Spade » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:45 pm UTC

It does come to an infinitissimal rest as the spring begins pushing it back the other way and it changes direction.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Rowandswim » Wed Jan 16, 2008 11:56 pm UTC

On a recent Physics test, we got a question along the lines of "What is a Newton?" Simple enough. i answered it, then added "A scientist responsible for the various thermodynamic and motion laws, and some alchemy. He also technically thought up orbits. Some say he even denied the Holy Trinity." I got the question right, and a smiley face beside it!

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Macbi » Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:45 pm UTC

Not forgetting Optics, binomial expansion and calculus!



There were so many people discussing elephant physics up there that I missed this hilarious comment, so in case anyone else did, here it is again:
Cramulh wrote:The question that fascinates me the most is how you put an elephant on a frictionless surface. Maybe with a crane. What if the elephant tries to move away from the mobile? Imagine the emotional state of an elephant on some sort of ice rink. In vacuum ! An elephant in vacuum !



Poor elephant.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby MotorToad » Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:02 pm UTC

Fedora wrote:My high school physics teacher and my current physics professor both have the same custom:

If they notice that an unusually high number of people are missing class that day, they have a "red firetruck quiz"

Question 1: What color is a red firetruck?

Scarlet? Crimson? A very light shade of magenta? I'M SO CONFUSED!


As for the (poor, asphyxiating, spherical black-body) elephant: It's a simple center-of-mass system. Obviously given the simplicity of the problem the elephant isn't going to convert any energy to heat so the magnitude of the two bodies' average speed will remain constant for all time, alternating the speed and direction of the individual bodies as they bounce off the spring and the ramp.
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Solid Freeman » Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:19 am UTC

Well, this is not a test answer, nor science-related, but I had to write an essay for English detailing my life story as I would tell it at the age of 100 years old. Long story short, I based it roughly on the events of Half-Life, and ended it by marrying a male classmate and having child with him (I'm male, btw :P) and naming said character after a video game (two actually)

Given that he's a Metal Gear fan, and I'm a Half-Life fan, yes, we named him Solid Freeman. 8)
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Rowandswim » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:20 am UTC

Not really an answer, but I often use my spare time during tests on my calculator. They always wipe the memory right before. So I spend the spare time writing specific programs to get revenge or simplify random and useless concepts. I managed to crash it once.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby phlip » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:54 am UTC

quintopia wrote:On all my physics tests, it was stated at the beginning "Ignore air resistance unless otherwise stated."

Air resistance != buoyancy... I'm pretty sure you could perform an experiment under a superfluid and you wouldn't have any "air" resistance, but you would still be buoyant...

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby skeptical scientist » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:59 am UTC

They probably also stated "diagrams not to scale."
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Yesila » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:36 pm UTC

skeptical scientist wrote:They probably also stated "diagrams not to scale."


When I teach trig material every time I want to add a diagram of a triangle on a test or quiz I use exactly the same picture of a triangle. I take perverse pleasure in having students solve for the angle that looks very acute, but which I have set up to be either a right angle or very obtuse.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby BlackSails » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:02 am UTC

When I teach trig material every time I want to add a diagram of a triangle on a test or quiz I use exactly the same picture of a triangle. I take perverse pleasure in having students solve for the angle that looks very acute, but which I have set up to be either a right angle or very obtuse.


Im kind of torn about that. On one hand, its good to teach them to trust math, on the other hand, its also good to train their physical intuition and ability to estimate angles.

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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Mathmagic » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:56 am UTC

BlackSails wrote:
When I teach trig material every time I want to add a diagram of a triangle on a test or quiz I use exactly the same picture of a triangle. I take perverse pleasure in having students solve for the angle that looks very acute, but which I have set up to be either a right angle or very obtuse.


Im kind of torn about that. On one hand, its good to teach them to trust math, on the other hand, its also good to train their physical intuition and ability to estimate angles.

And on the other other hand, it's good to train students to draw their own diagrams using the information given in the question. ;)
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby firer » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:08 am UTC

Not mathematics, but...

In a biology test during high school, I was asked "What are the three body types for poriferans?", to which I answered "asconoid, syconoid and... and... er... um... baconoid?" (the correct third body type is leuconoid). It was the only thing I could think that ended with "con"...
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby JayDee » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:37 am UTC

mathmagic wrote:
Im kind of torn about that. On one hand, its good to teach them to trust math, on the other hand, its also good to train their physical intuition and ability to estimate angles.

And on the other other hand, it's good to train students to draw their own diagrams using the information given in the question. ;)
And if every triangle is exactly the same, they really should notice.
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Aerol
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Re: Amusing answers to tests

Postby Aerol » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:43 am UTC

Back in Trig I thought I was the shit and didn't have to study or do coursework. Yeah I was dumb. I actually did decently until around midway through the first semester when we got a test that was 2 questions. I don't remember the specifics but I'm sure it was basic stuff. I had no idea what to do so I tried solving both problems using logic and prior knowledge. I must have had 3 pages filled up with work. I got the test back the next day and I had a 10/40. According to my teacher I got 3 points for writing my name and 7 points for finding the room. That was a real wake up call and that teacher ended up being one of my favorites. I still go to him when I don't understand any of my math work. I also occasionally use *A miracle occurs* in some of my proofs.


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