For the discussion of math. Duh.

Moderators: gmalivuk, Moderators General, Prelates

Azrael001
Posts: 2385
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 5:15 am UTC
Location: The Land of Make Believe.
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Not studying or doing coursework worked for me right up until Calculus. Then I barely passed. It made me sad.

I don't know if I already put this here, but when I don't know the answer I declare the variable X to be equal to the correct answer, then answer X.
23111

Beorn-
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:49 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Here's a nice one, forgive the length but it's worth it:

jestingrabbit
Factoids are just Datas that haven't grown up yet
Posts: 5967
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:50 pm UTC
Location: Sydney

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

That shit (-1) got 61%. The FUCK???? (-1)
ameretrifle wrote:Magic space feudalism is therefore a viable idea.

Dingbats
Posts: 921
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:46 pm UTC
Location: Sweden
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I especially like how he cites tubgirl in the end.

Mathmagic
It's not as cool as that Criss Angel stuff.
Posts: 2926
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:48 am UTC
Location: In ur fora posting in teh threads

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

jestingrabbit wrote:That shit (-1) got 61%. The FUCK???? (-1)

Which is... apparently a D-?

I would have failed that shit.
Axman: That, and have you played DX 10 games? It's like having your corneas swabbed with clits made out of morphine.
Pathway: cocks cocks cocks

oxoiron
Posts: 1365
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:56 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I like how on page 3 the teacher writes, "Page is to big" instead of "Page is too big". Perhaps this abortion of an essay (which I doubt is real) is the result of being taught by someone who is so dumb, s/he doesn't understand the difference between to, too and two.
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."-- Mark Twain
"There is not more dedicated criminal than a group of children."--addams

RedWolf
Posts: 236
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:19 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

If it is real, I'm surprised the teacher continued grading after the first page.
However, if you take out all the BS, he's at least got the story right.

brodieboy255
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:40 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Fedora wrote:My high school physics teacher and my current physics professor both have the same custom:

If they notice that an unusually high number of people are missing class that day, they have a "red firetruck quiz"

Question 1: What color is a red firetruck?

Fun, but utterly demoralizing when someone gets it wrong.

On a similar note, someone in our class asked another person to spell "AC/DC", the joke being to tell them they got it wrong if they forgot the lightning bolt. However, they answered "AC-CD"

pkuky
Posts: 612
Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:16 pm UTC
Location: jerusalem
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I would have given him an A++, just for page 3.
It rains on the enemy too!

tanneridae
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:25 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Here's a question(rather than an answer) on my final from last spring- I think that out of some 250 students only one appreciated it and came up with a nice answer for (c).

6. (10 pts) The Optimus function measures velocity of a semi-truck with
respect to time t. Optimus(t) = 14t + 10, in miles per hour.
(a) (3 points) Peter Cullen drives the semi for 3 hours, starting at
t = 0. How far did Peter drive?
(b) (3 points) What was the acceleration of the semi at time 2?
(c) (1 point) Interpret Optimus'(t) in words:

Ended
Posts: 1459
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 3:27 pm UTC
Location: The Tower of Flints. (Also known as: England.)

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Awesome.

tanneridae wrote:I think that out of some 250 students only one appreciated it and came up with a nice answer for (c).

That was you, right?

...right?

(Or were you giving the test? - in which case, bonus points!)
Generally I try to make myself do things I instinctively avoid, in case they are awesome.
-dubsola

mrbaggins
Posts: 1611
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:23 am UTC
Location: Wagga, Australia

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I don't get it.... but I'm guessing the answer was prime? I just get 14. Unless I've forgotten all my High school maths.

Or some other reference to Transformers....

It's late. I might realise in the morning...
Why is it that 4chan is either infinitely awesome, infinitely bad, or "lolwut", but never any intermediary level?

Mathmagic
It's not as cool as that Criss Angel stuff.
Posts: 2926
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:48 am UTC
Location: In ur fora posting in teh threads

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

mrbaggins wrote:I don't get it.... but I'm guessing the answer was prime? I just get 14. Unless I've forgotten all my High school maths.

Or some other reference to Transformers....

It's late. I might realise in the morning...

Say " Optimus' " out loud.
Axman: That, and have you played DX 10 games? It's like having your corneas swabbed with clits made out of morphine.
Pathway: cocks cocks cocks

3.14159265...
Irrational (?)
Posts: 2413
Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:05 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

For Mr.Baggins
Spoiler:
If f(t) = 14t + 10
Then f ' (t) = 14
This last part is read "f prime of t"
"The best times in life are the ones when you can genuinely add a "Bwa" to your "ha""- Chris Hastings

maafy6
Posts: 102
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:43 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

But what is the optimus prime of tea? Bigelow? Twinnings? Snapple?

TELL ME!?

oxoiron
Posts: 1365
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:56 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Earl Grey.
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."-- Mark Twain
"There is not more dedicated criminal than a group of children."--addams

Beorn-
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:49 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Spoiler:
Optimus Prime! The dude!

Nimz
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:49 am UTC
Location: the origin

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Optimus Prime vs. Mr. T? Wait, what?
LOWA

Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:38 pm UTC
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

THIS IS ALGEBRA!!!
Laziness is the mother of wisdom.
My woblag

tanneridae
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:25 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

That was you, right?

...right?

(Or were you giving the test? - in which case, bonus points!)

I wrote and gave the test. (thanks!) Another test I gave, but that I didn't write, had a question submitted by a grad student that involved the airspeed of an African Swallow. The Coordinator for the class changed the problem a bit: but she removed "African" and put "barn" instead. Sad day.

Govalant
Posts: 249
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:50 am UTC
Location: Rosario, Argentina
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

So awesome.
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

How's things?
-Entropy is winning.

3.14159265...
Irrational (?)
Posts: 2413
Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:05 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

LOL AT "This is ALGEBRA!!!"
"The best times in life are the ones when you can genuinely add a "Bwa" to your "ha""- Chris Hastings

Interactive Civilian
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:53 am UTC
Location: Bangkok, Krung Thep, Thailand
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Add me to the "'THIS IS ALGEBRA' is full of win" camp. That is freaking hilarious.
I (x2+y2-1)3-x2y3=0 science.

Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:38 pm UTC
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Govalant wrote:
So awesome.
I LOL'd when I first saw it too. Pure awesomeness.

There's another obligatory one I think I haven't seen in this thread:

I'd rather turn the 5 90 degrees to the right than to the left, btw. Looks more natural
Laziness is the mother of wisdom.
My woblag

Hit3k
Posts: 1156
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 9:12 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Noughmad wrote:There's another obligatory one I think I haven't seen in this thread:

I'd rather turn the 5 90 degrees to the right than to the left, btw. Looks more natural

Thats epic.
Sungura wrote:My mom made me watch a star wars. Two of them , actually. The Death Star one and the one where the dude ends up in the swamp with the weird guy who talks funny.

sloppyjoe
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:42 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

mathangelist wrote:

"But, Sir, if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in a gravitational formula, which I have determined here this time on a long sheet of paper with a very long and complicated calculation."

Someone else wrote:
Gravitational? I don't see how that works. On the other hand, the obvious thing here is that the ideal pendulum's period scales linearly with its length (and EDIT not much else)... Bohr would have got that right.
I heard the same story told by a phys prof, but not attributed to any existing person (it also doesn't get funnier by having happened or not).

The force of gravity varies slightly depending on far you are away from the center of the earth. When calculating the period of a pendulum, the force of gravity, g, is given by F = G \frac{m_1 m_2}{r^2}, Where m_1 and m_2 would be the mass of the barometer and earth, and r would be the distance away from the center of the earth. It's a very annoying way to arrive at a solution.

skeptical scientist
closed-minded spiritualist
Posts: 6142
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
Location: San Francisco

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

This was an answer one of the students gave on my final today, and it amused me.

I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson

Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:24 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Whenever I remember I enjoy going back over my answers and adding operations that don't change the answer.
Like:
Multiplying everything by cos(314159265*pi)
Adding very complicated expressions including hyperbolic trig functions logarithms of many bases just making sure to raise to the power of zero
Division by |epi*i|
and whatever other fun stuff that does not change the answer

skeptical scientist
closed-minded spiritualist
Posts: 6142
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
Location: San Francisco

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Like:
Multiplying everything by cos(314159265*pi)
Adding very complicated expressions including hyperbolic trig functions logarithms of many bases just making sure to raise to the power of zero
Division by |epi*i|
and whatever other fun stuff that does not change the answer

-.5 sign error
I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson

Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:24 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

skeptical scientist wrote:-.5 sign error

Thats what I get for not checking my work. I should have used 3 more digits of pi.

spdqbr
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:41 am UTC
Location: A shaker of salt

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Back in high school I was taking a concurrent intro to Astronomy class. One of the tests had the question "Name the four fundamental forces." I totally spaced and wrote:
Gravitation
Strong Nuclear
Weak Nuclear

It only garnered a "wow that's sad" from the prof...
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.

Galileo

Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8569
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

skeptical scientist wrote:This was an answer one of the students gave on my final today, and it amused me.

I don't get the funny part... Is it that he calculated the second integral using substitution when he could've just expanded the term and gotten the first integral?
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

Nimz
Posts: 580
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:49 am UTC
Location: the origin

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Zohar wrote:
skeptical scientist wrote:This was an answer one of the students gave on my final today, and it amused me.

I don't get the funny part... Is it that he calculated the second integral using substitution when he could've just expanded the term and gotten the first integral?

I think the student noticed that (x+1)3 could be expanded to x3+3x2+3x+1 - that's what the stuff on the right side was. Thus the "Very funny skeptical scientist". At least, that's what I'm guessing.
LOWA

phlip
Restorer of Worlds
Posts: 7573
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:56 am UTC
Location: Australia
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I'm thinking the student noticed that the answers were the same, and then realised afterward that the questions were the same (hence the answers being circled, and the expansion being a side-note).

Code: Select all

enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};void ┻━┻︵​╰(ಠ_ಠ ⚠) {exit((int)⚠);}
[he/him/his]

Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8569
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Oh! I think I got it! Maybe? Was it the student who wrote "Very funny David" after seeing you put the same two integrals there? If so, then yes, that is amusing.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

pkuky
Posts: 612
Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:16 pm UTC
Location: jerusalem
Contact:

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

a guy in my school got a physics test on which there was a question:
"draw a graph that describes the placment of a ball (under previously mentiond circumstances) as dependent on time". to which he answered: 0, the viewer is sitting on the ball.
It rains on the enemy too!

skeptical scientist
closed-minded spiritualist
Posts: 6142
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:09 am UTC
Location: San Francisco

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

Zohar wrote:Oh! I think I got it! Maybe? Was it the student who wrote "Very funny David" after seeing you put the same two integrals there? If so, then yes, that is amusing.

Yep, that's what happened. I'm David, and I pixelated the last name to preserve my internet anonymity so I can go on trolling and causing flamewars with abandon.

P.S. If you're wondering why I put the same question twice, you should see how many people got the first one right but the second one wrong.
I'm looking forward to the day when the SNES emulator on my computer works by emulating the elementary particles in an actual, physical box with Nintendo stamped on the side.

"With math, all things are possible." —Rebecca Watson

Puck
Posts: 615
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:29 pm UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

not math, but true story:

My dad was in high school bio, taking a test where there were several microscopes or other exhibits stationed around the room. Each student would move to a station, observe the exhibit, answer a question about it, and then move to the next station.

The ground rules for this type of exam were simply "DON'T TOUCH THE MICROSCOPES", but of course some jerk would always ignore that and try to improve/adjust the focus.

So my dad gets to one of the microscopes near the end of the test, looks into it, and can't see anything at all, except that whatever he is looking at is green. Someone had apparently "adjusted" the focus so much that he actually squished the lens into the slide. And the associated question is: "How does this organism reproduce?"

Having no idea what he's looking at, Dad writes:

"uh... the missionary position?"

The next day in class, the silence of students taking another pop quiz was shattered by the uncontrollable laughter of the young female teacher grading the exams.
22/7 wrote:If I could have an alternate horn that would yell "If you use your turn signal, I'll let you in" loud enough to hear inside another car, I would pay nearly any amount of money for it.

Mathmagic
It's not as cool as that Criss Angel stuff.
Posts: 2926
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:48 am UTC
Location: In ur fora posting in teh threads

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

skeptical scientist wrote:P.S. If you're wondering why I put the same question twice, you should see how many people got the first one right but the second one wrong.

I could see how. If someone uses substitution and they don't change the limits of integration, you'd get the wrong answer. I'm guessing that's what most people ended up doing.
Axman: That, and have you played DX 10 games? It's like having your corneas swabbed with clits made out of morphine.
Pathway: cocks cocks cocks

Poochy
Posts: 358
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 6:07 am UTC

### Re: Amusing answers to tests

I was once asked the standard-issue physics question about estimating the height of a building using a barometer. Except this particular test asked for all the possible ways we could think of, with no penalty for incorrect answers. I can't remember all of the methods I put, but amongst my answers:

1. Measure the barometric pressure at the top and bottom of the building and calculate the difference in altitude.
2. Drop the barometer from the roof of the building, and measure how long it takes to hit the ground. Calculate the distance the barometer fell based on that measurement (d=(1/2)*a*t2+v0*t, a=9.8m/s2 v0=0)
3. Drop the barometer from the roof of the building, and measure the difference in time between when you see the barometer hit the ground and when you hear the resulting thud. Use this to calculate the distance the sound traveled.
4. Drop the barometer from the roof of the building. Repeat until it hits a random passerby on the ground. Look in the news for a story that says "a man was badly injured today after being hit in the head by a barometer thrown off the roof of a X-foot-tall building." X will be the height.
5. Wait for a natural disaster to wreck the building. Take the barometer and smash the rubble until there are no large pieces left. The height of the building is approximately 0.