Favorite math jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

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Re: Math joke

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:16 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:Ah, so the zed/zee thing really is just the Americans being lazy with their speech. Good to know. :mrgreen:

Lazy? Pfah. It's us being consistent (well, more so). Letters are almost always named by {the letter}+"ee" or "eh"+{the letter}. "Zed" is just crazy talk, like calling "w" "double-u".

That said, when I worked tech support and did registrations, I would note when I was talking to an Aussie and use "zed". Iirc, Aussies also tend to say "double x" when referring to a repeated number, like they would read "3774" as "three double-seven four", so I did that as well when talking with them.


But... everything you described there is normal and correct. And how the hell do you pronounce W if not double-u? Dubyah? And the double number thing is also better because it reduces the chance for ambiguity if you talk fast or have a stutter.
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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:37 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:But... everything you described there is normal and correct. And how the hell do you pronounce W if not double-u? Dubyah?

Well, yes. I do pronounced it dubyah. I'm from Texas.

But no, I think the pronunciation is just dumb. It should be "wee".

Currently, the regular pronunciations are:
Bee cee dee gee pee tee vee zee
ef el em en es ex
the vowels

Then you've got the irregular pronunciations:
aych jay kay kyoo arr double-yoo why

I think these should be hee jee kee quee ree wee yee. None of them have the correct sound to follow the "e{letter}" pattern, I don't think.

And the double number thing is also better because it reduces the chance for ambiguity if you talk fast or have a stutter.

Eh, it's not normal in the states. At least down here in the South. I specifically noticed it when talking to Aussies, and changed my speech patterns to compensate (good customer service!).

Oh! Another thing I noticed. Aussie's *always* pronounce h as "haych". That's another thing I took care to duplicate when talking to them. ^_^
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Re: Math joke

Postby jestingrabbit » Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:46 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:I think these should be hee jee kee quee ree wee yee.


Good luck with that.
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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:59 pm UTC

jestingrabbit wrote:
Xanthir wrote:I think these should be hee jee kee quee ree wee yee.


Good luck with that.

Indeed. File this one under "impossible dream".
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Re: Math joke

Postby Cosmologicon » Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:37 pm UTC

You're really suggesting that G and J be pronounced identically?

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Re: Math joke

Postby GreedyAlgorithm » Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:02 pm UTC

Buttons wrote:
Nlelith wrote:This might work on a T-shirt if you have an imaginary function become real (too lazy to think of an example but you know what I'm getting at) and underneath have it read "shit just got real."

Thus?

I would purchase that shirt.
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Re: Math joke

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:17 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:But... everything you described there is normal and correct. And how the hell do you pronounce W if not double-u? Dubyah?

Well, yes. I do pronounced it dubyah. I'm from Texas.

But no, I think the pronunciation is just dumb. It should be "wee".

Currently, the regular pronunciations are:
Bee cee dee gee pee tee vee zee
ef el em en es ex
the vowels

Then you've got the irregular pronunciations:
aych jay kay kyoo arr double-yoo why

I think these should be hee jee kee quee ree wee yee. None of them have the correct sound to follow the "e{letter}" pattern, I don't think.

And the double number thing is also better because it reduces the chance for ambiguity if you talk fast or have a stutter.

Eh, it's not normal in the states. At least down here in the South. I specifically noticed it when talking to Aussies, and changed my speech patterns to compensate (good customer service!).

Oh! Another thing I noticed. Aussie's *always* pronounce h as "haych". That's another thing I took care to duplicate when talking to them. ^_^


Are you sure you're talking to Aussies and not Brits? Because this just sounds like normal speech to me. How do you Texans pronounce the letter H then?

By the way, this is turning into one epic thread derailment. :mrgreen:
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Re: Math joke

Postby thoughtfully » Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:44 pm UTC

Cosmologicon wrote:You're really suggesting that G and J be pronounced identically?

I suppose the "J" would use the "soft" G sound (the conventional way, as in "germ"), while the "G" would use the "hard" G (as in "golf")

Or, we could follow the advise of Mark Twain and do some proper reform!
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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:57 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Are you sure you're talking to Aussies and not Brits? Because this just sounds like normal speech to me.

Yup, definitely Aussies. Believe me, all the brits were asleep at the time I was on the phones. Plus, you know, when I look up someone in our customer database it tells me their country.

How do you Texans pronounce the letter H then?

Without the opening "h" sound. "aych" rather than "haych". This is generic American, though, not just Texan. Maybe some of the New England accents are different, I dunno.

By the way, this is turning into one epic thread derailment. :mrgreen:

I'm satisfied with it.

Cosmologicon wrote:You're really suggesting that G and J be pronounced identically?

Erm, no, that totally slipped by me. I suppose go with thoughtfully's suggestions of making g be pronounced with the hard g. "gee" rather than "jee".
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Re: Math joke

Postby Luthen » Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:07 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
How do you Texans pronounce the letter H then?
Without the opening "h" sound. "aych" rather than "haych". This is generic American, though, not just Texan. Maybe some of the New England accents are different, I dunno.
Nah, the proper way of pronouncing H is without the h at the start. My Dad gets really upset when we say haitch (his preferred spelling). So cultured Brits and Aussies say aitch/aych, bogans say haitch. :D

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Re: Math joke

Postby thoughtfully » Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:17 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:Oh! Another thing I noticed. Aussie's *always* pronounce h as "haych". That's another thing I took care to duplicate when talking to them. ^_^

This just makes me think of people who say "width, depth, and heighth. Uncivilized cretins!
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Re: Math joke

Postby Kurushimi » Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:29 pm UTC

While on the topic of pronunciation...

Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther

M I RIGHT?

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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:37 pm UTC

Kurushimi wrote:While on the topic of pronunciation...

Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther

M I RIGHT?

Ur doin it rong.

^_^
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Re: Math joke

Postby garypenn » Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:45 am UTC

I like how this thread has taken a drastic turn in subject matter. :-p I say "zee" and use z-bar for the complex conjugate of z. I certainly will admit that I'm a lazy American, but I don't think that has influenced how I pronounced z; it's probably just an enculturation thing. However, it's fun to see the little variations in the conventions--both in notation and pronunciation. But at the end of the day, aren't they just conventions? I wouldn't say that one is "right" and another is "wrong". As long as everyone in the conversation is made aware of which convention is being used, there should be no problem. Usually that can be inferred from context.

The bar/pub joke was funny. I'd probably buy that shirt, too.

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Re: Math joke

Postby Talith » Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:48 pm UTC

I'm a Brit and I have an american linear algebra lecturer, from what I've summised from my other class mates, we all tend cringe a little when she says 'zee' instead of 'zed' and 'theyta' instead of 'theeta'. She once said Aluminum aswell which i didn't even realise was another way of pronouncing aluminium. I'm lead to believe that I'm culturally short-sighted.

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Re: Math joke

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:16 pm UTC

Talith wrote:I'm a Brit and I have an american linear algebra lecturer, from what I've summised from my other class mates, we all tend cringe a little when she says 'zee' instead of 'zed' and 'theyta' instead of 'theeta'. She once said Aluminum aswell which i didn't even realise was another way of pronouncing aluminium. I'm lead to believe that I'm culturally short-sighted.


Wait, is that "they" as in, hard "th" and "ey" pronounced as "ay"? I'm American and say it with a soft "th" and "-ayta". I didn't realize there was another way, even. This should be a very answerable question, someone go ask a Greek person. (Incidentally, we don't just not pronounce the i in "aluminium". We actually spell it as aluminum. I think this is actually what it was originally named by its discoverer, and the name was changed on one side of the Atlantic later on to something more consistent, and...yeah.)
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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Sat Feb 14, 2009 8:32 pm UTC

Sir_Elderberry wrote:
Talith wrote:I'm a Brit and I have an american linear algebra lecturer, from what I've summised from my other class mates, we all tend cringe a little when she says 'zee' instead of 'zed' and 'theyta' instead of 'theeta'. She once said Aluminum aswell which i didn't even realise was another way of pronouncing aluminium. I'm lead to believe that I'm culturally short-sighted.


Wait, is that "they" as in, hard "th" and "ey" pronounced as "ay"? I'm American and say it with a soft "th" and "-ayta". I didn't realize there was another way, even. This should be a very answerable question, someone go ask a Greek person. (Incidentally, we don't just not pronounce the i in "aluminium". We actually spell it as aluminum. I think this is actually what it was originally named by its discoverer, and the name was changed on one side of the Atlantic later on to something more consistent, and...yeah.)

He's saying what you say. Soft "th" + "ay" (+ "tuh").

The 13th element was originally named "alumium", then changed by its creator to "aluminum". It was later changed by others to "aluminium" to have a more classical sound (not really for consistency with other elements, because we have plenty of "-um" elements) (and this spelling was accepted even by us Americans). However, an American aluminum producer started using the "aluminum" spelling and pronunciation in his advertisements, and the name developed momentum here in the States, to the point where most of us Americans have probably never heard "aluminium" and would assume that it was a misspelling if we saw it.

Currently the ACS recognizes "aluminum" as the correct spelling, while IUPAC recognizes "aluminium" (though they have "aluminum" as an official alternate spelling).
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Re: Math joke

Postby Luthen » Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:15 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
Sir_Elderberry wrote:
Talith wrote:'theyta' instead of 'theeta'.
Wait, is that "they" as in, hard "th" and "ey" pronounced as "ay"? I'm American and say it with a soft "th" and "-ayta". I didn't realize there was another way, even. This should be a very answerable question, someone go ask a Greek person.
He's saying what you say. Soft "th" + "ay" (+ "tuh").
I say theeta but in practise it's about 50/50 down here whether someone will say theeta or thayta. As well as beeta/bayta, epsulon/ep-sigh-lon, really any of the letters.

Xanthir wrote:
Kurushimi wrote:Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther
Ur doin it rong.
Wait. People say this the same way all the time? Isn't it like the? I say it differently depending on context (I can't be bothered working out the rule though).
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Re: Math joke

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:15 pm UTC

Xanthir wrote:
Kurushimi wrote:While on the topic of pronunciation...

Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther

M I RIGHT?

Ur doin it rong.

^_^


No. No he's not. Anyone who thinks he's doin' it wrong is doin' it wrong.
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Re: Math joke

Postby Cosmologicon » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:23 pm UTC

Kurushimi wrote:Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther

How do you pronounce "Me neither"?
Spoiler:
I used to be self-conscious about saying "Me NIGH-ther", until I heard Frodo Baggins say it in Fellowship of the Ring. Is that how British people say it? It still sounds funny, but I say it anyway.

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Re: Math joke

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:03 am UTC

Well I say NIGH-ther every time, in true Frodo Baggins tradition. I have heard people say NEE-ther but it sounds a bit posh and pretentious to me.

Conclusion of this thread: English people have different accents to American people. This is truly a startling result. :P
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Re: Math joke

Postby Kurushimi » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:38 am UTC

Cosmologicon wrote:
Kurushimi wrote:Either = EYE-ther
Neither = NIGH-ther

How do you pronounce "Me neither"?
Spoiler:
I used to be self-conscious about saying "Me NIGH-ther", until I heard Frodo Baggins say it in Fellowship of the Ring. Is that how British people say it? It still sounds funny, but I say it anyway.


Neither do I.

I speak English correctly. ("Me neither." doesn't even make sense. There's not even a verb in that sentence. And you're using the accusative form of the first person singular pronoun. We should used nominative. =/)

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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:15 am UTC

Kurushimi wrote:There's not even a verb in that sentence.

Nuts. Oh well. Next time?

Later.
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Re: Math joke

Postby Cosmologicon » Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:27 am UTC

Kurushimi wrote:
Cosmologicon wrote:How do you pronounce "Me neither"?


Neither do I.

I speak English correctly. ("Me neither." doesn't even make sense. There's not even a verb in that sentence. And you're using the accusative form of the first person singular pronoun. We should used nominative. =/)

Cop-out!

Since you brought it up, there's no predicate in the sentence "Neither do I," either. If someone says "I don't think so," and you respond "Neither do I," you're eliding the verb "think".

But you're right about the case of the pronoun. Except that this is English, not Latin, and we call it objective rather than accusative.

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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:02 pm UTC

This is 100% Linguistics at this point, so meh, but "Me neither" is firmly an idiom at this point. Grammaticalness has no effect on it.
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Re: Math joke

Postby 3.14159265... » Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:30 pm UTC

Buttons wrote:
Nlelith wrote:This might work on a T-shirt if you have an imaginary function become real (too lazy to think of an example but you know what I'm getting at) and underneath have it read "shit just got real."

Thus?


I am ordering this shirt. :)
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Re: Math joke

Postby Kurushimi » Sun Feb 15, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Cosmologicon wrote:
Kurushimi wrote:
Cosmologicon wrote:How do you pronounce "Me neither"?


Neither do I.

I speak English correctly. ("Me neither." doesn't even make sense. There's not even a verb in that sentence. And you're using the accusative form of the first person singular pronoun. We should used nominative. =/)

Cop-out!

Since you brought it up, there's no predicate in the sentence "Neither do I," either. If someone says "I don't think so," and you respond "Neither do I," you're eliding the verb "think".


The predicate is implied. And at least it has a verb.

Cosmologicon wrote:But you're right about the case of the pronoun. Except that this is English, not Latin, and we call it objective rather than accusative.


Lol, I was hoping no one would pick that up. I take Latin class, and I couldn't remember what the English word for subjects or objects were.

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Re: Math joke

Postby vlawhale » Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:35 am UTC

3.14159265... wrote:
Buttons wrote:
Nlelith wrote:This might work on a T-shirt if you have an imaginary function become real (too lazy to think of an example but you know what I'm getting at) and underneath have it read "shit just got real."

Thus?


I am ordering this shirt. :)


Last year was my high school's first year with a math team, and we ordered shirts that said "i^2: Keepin' It Real" and then our school's name on the back.

Except SOMEONE who was supposed to get it to the printer [another math teacher] thought it was 2^2: Keepin' It Real so now we all have shirts that are...um, 4...real.

some of us got angry. very angry. and now we don't talk about this anymore.

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Re: Math joke

Postby Monika » Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:33 am UTC

SlyReaper wrote:A proper mathematical joke is "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone and try again."

:lol:


Matterwave1 wrote:Did they just use the Z bar to signify the complex conjugate? I always use * Like ZZ*

I have never seen anything but Z bar for this (in German high school and university, studying math and computer science).

SlyReaper wrote:
thoughtfully wrote:Religion is complex. It has a real part and an imaginary part!


Fixed. At least, that's the version I've heard.

That doesn't work. Religion only has imaginary parts.

Xanthir wrote:But no, I think the pronunciation is just dumb. It should be "wee".

There would be no end of confusion with vee.

SlyReaper wrote:Well I say NIGH-ther every time, in true Frodo Baggins tradition. I have heard people say NEE-ther but it sounds a bit posh and pretentious to me.

Conclusion of this thread: English people have different accents to American people. This is truly a startling result. :P

I say neether, eether. nither / ither sounds weird.

I am not sure, which one is British and which one is American?
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Re: Math joke

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Feb 19, 2009 7:46 am UTC

Monika wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:
thoughtfully wrote:Religion is complex. It has a real part and an imaginary part!


Fixed. At least, that's the version I've heard.

That doesn't work. Religion only has imaginary parts.



What about churches and temples and such? They're the real part.
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Re: Math joke

Postby Xanthir » Thu Feb 19, 2009 2:14 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Xanthir wrote:But no, I think the pronunciation is just dumb. It should be "wee".

There would be no end of confusion with vee.

Honestly, the world would be simpler if those two letters were pronounced "victor" and "whiskey". That's how I pronounce them when I have to repeat letters over the phone (or in face-to-face communication if I think the other person will understand me). Working in a call center with registration codes quickly forces you to memorize a phonetic alphabet (the American military alphabet, in this case). It sometimes starts up nice conversations with the customers, too, if they were in the military for some time.

I'd prefer them to all be unique and easily distinguishable, or all be similar.

I say neether, eether. nither / ither sounds weird.

I am not sure, which one is British and which one is American?

I think British is n"i"ther, generally. American uses both, actually. I (as a Texan) switch it up automatically based on its place in the sentence and the surrounding words. I'm sure my brain has rules for it, but they might be nothing more than "whatever sounds best at the time". I think that we Texans are a bit biased, though - the "ee" sound isn't very attractive in our accent.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby mgcclx » Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:58 pm UTC

A original joke soon to be made into comic...
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Buttons » Thu Feb 19, 2009 11:09 pm UTC

That's not true. Drinking can make one disoriented.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:36 am UTC

Buttons wrote:That's not true. Drinking can make one disoriented.


Yes, but still orientable, either by sobering up later or a less drunk person helping them out.

It's a pity because you were so close to winning an internet with that one. :cry:
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby PM 2Ring » Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:14 am UTC

Do they serve beer in Klein steins at the Möbius strip club?

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Govalant » Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:47 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:Do they serve beer in Klein steins at the Möbius strip club?


Once I tried to get into the Klein club but I couldn't...
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:04 pm UTC

This math joke only works in German, sorry:

Kommt ein Vektor zum Arzt und meint: "Helfen Sie mir, Doc, ich bin linear abhängig!"

(A pun based on the fact that in German dependent = addicted.)
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby headprogrammingczar » Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:03 pm UTC

Monika wrote:This math joke only works in German, sorry:

Kommt ein Vektor zum Arzt und meint: "Helfen Sie mir, Doc, ich bin linear abhängig!"

(A pun based on the fact that in German dependent = addicted.)

Translation, for those who haven't taken German in years?
<quintopia> You're not crazy. you're the goddamn headprogrammingspock!
<Weeks> You're the goddamn headprogrammingspock!
<Cheese> I love you

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Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:17 pm UTC

A vector goes to the doctor and says: "Doc, help me, I am linearly dependent!"
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headprogrammingczar
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby headprogrammingczar » Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:50 pm UTC

Big Bang Theory*

The following is a frictional account. It does not conserve entropy.
<quintopia> You're not crazy. you're the goddamn headprogrammingspock!
<Weeks> You're the goddamn headprogrammingspock!
<Cheese> I love you


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