Favorite math jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

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Kurushimi
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Kurushimi » Thu May 20, 2010 1:22 am UTC

So, two mathematicians were visiting the Vatican. The first said "I'm really interested in meeting the pope.". "Why?" said the second. "Well, the pope is the highest cardinal." he replied. "Impossible", the second refuted, "every pope has a successor".

=D

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby joshz » Thu May 20, 2010 1:52 am UTC

Kurushimi wrote:So, two mathematicians were visiting the Vatican. The first said "I'm really interested in meeting the pope.". "Why?" said the second. "Well, the pope is the highest cardinal." he replied. "Impossible", the second refuted, "every pope has a successor".

=D
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby <nyssa> » Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:35 am UTC

Hey, so I'm bumping this thread not for one of my favourite math jokes, but in the hope that someone here can explain a math joke to me and my friends. Someone pointed this out to us, apparently its supposed to be a joke, but we don't get it :S. We're all doing fourth year maths/stats/computer science, which is why it was pointed out to us, in the hopes that we could explain it, but so far the funniest thing about it is the mathematician's name. A google search only turns up a bunch of pages which contain the joke, but no explanation, also, all the pages seem to be reproductions of the same Science Jokes website.

'Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. "We don't know why it's there or what it does," says Cambridge mathematician, Dr. Hilliard Haliard, "we only know that it doesn't behave properly when put into equations..., and that it is divisible by six, though only once." '

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby jestingrabbit » Sat Jun 05, 2010 11:49 am UTC

I suppose that you could call it a bit of nonsense, but I can't say I find it funny. The bit about divisible by 6 might be something to do with 3 dividing 27, and 2 dividing 28, but they're also divisible by 9 and 4 resp.,... I'm thinking too much about this. Its a pretty unfunny bit of nonsense imo.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby NathanielJ » Sat Jun 05, 2010 12:26 pm UTC

<nyssa> wrote:'Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. "We don't know why it's there or what it does," says Cambridge mathematician, Dr. Hilliard Haliard, "we only know that it doesn't behave properly when put into equations..., and that it is divisible by six, though only once." '


My best guess is they're trying to make a play on the decimal expansion of e, which is 2.71828..., so 18 comes between 27 and 28, and it's divisible by six only once.

It's a terrible joke either way though.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Token » Sat Jun 05, 2010 12:36 pm UTC

Yeah, you're both reading far too much into that.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby PM 2Ring » Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:06 pm UTC

<nyssa> wrote: hope that someone here can explain a math joke to me and my friends. Someone pointed this out to us, apparently its supposed to be a joke, but we don't get it :S.
Science Jokes website.

'Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. "We don't know why it's there or what it does," says Cambridge mathematician, Dr. Hilliard Haliard, "we only know that it doesn't behave properly when put into equations..., and that it is divisible by six, though only once." '

That piece is in a style that is commonly used for April Fool's articles in otherwise serious scientific & technical publications. I giggled, maybe because I recently mentioned that we can't just go around inventing new integers in this thread: Math discovered or invented?

BTW, that's a great science jokes website. Thanks, <nyssa>.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby phlip » Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:25 pm UTC

It's just the usual joke of taking a way of talking and applying it somewhere it doesn't normally belong... The Onion, for example, does this all the time, making stories full of authentic-journalism-sounding language talking about stuff that isn't news. In this case, taking an announcement of a form usually seen in the more exploratory sciences ("Scientists have announced the existence of a whole new animal species/extrasolar planet/whatever") and applying it to a field which isn't exploratory (there's no point looking for new integers... we already know where every single one of them is, direct from the definitions).

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enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby <nyssa> » Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:16 am UTC

Yes, that makes sense. The problem was, we were looking for a punch line, a finger pointing directly at the funny, as it was given to us in this isolated form. In the context of a spoof scientific journal, I probably would have found this funny straight away, now that I think about it. It's the fact that it was isolated that was throwing us off. Cheers, everyone.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby mookasaurus » Sun Jun 06, 2010 5:35 am UTC

There are two kinds of mathematicians. Those who think there are two kinds of mathematicians and those who don't. I put myself in the second category.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby GyRo567 » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:03 am UTC

I must appeal to the fora for value judgment:

My friend just told me that the 'G' key on his keyboard broke. I replied with: If you'll pardon an extremely abstruse joke, G is not demonstrable with your system.

The funny value is undecidable from within the mind in which it was constructed. If possible, please provide proof.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby nehpest » Wed Jun 09, 2010 3:22 am UTC

GyRo567 wrote:I must appeal to the fora for value judgment:

My friend just told me that the 'G' key on his keyboard broke. I replied with: If you'll pardon an extremely abstruse joke, G is not demonstrable with your system.

The funny value is undecidable from within the mind in which it was constructed. If possible, please provide proof.


Lol'd heartily. 8)
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby don21stc » Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:05 am UTC

Hi,
Brand new to this Forum!
Didn't realise there were so many math jokes unless a large number have been repeated as I haven't had time to read all of them. Anyway here's one which may well be among those I've missed, so pre-emptive apologies:

The hypothesis that all odd numbers are prime numbers was proposed to a group consisting of one Chemist, one Physicist and one Engineer who were each asked to prove that the hypothesis was true.
The Chemist said "1 is odd and prime, 3 is odd and prime, 5 is odd and prime, 7 is odd and prime. Therefore all odd numbers are prime numbers."
The Physicist said "1 is odd and prime, 3 is odd and prime, 5 is odd and prime, 7 is odd and prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is odd and prime, 13 is odd and prime, therefore all odd numbers are prime numbers."
The Engineer said "1 is odd and prime, 3 is odd and prime, 5 is odd and prime, 7 is odd and prime, 9 is odd and prime, 11 is odd and prime, 13 is odd and prime, 15 is odd and prime, ... therefore all odd numbers are prime numbers."

With (grudging) apologies to Engineers.

Don

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby SlyReaper » Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:00 pm UTC

Well they all fail from the outset by asserting that 1 is prime, when in fact it is not.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby GyRo567 » Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:21 pm UTC

Just another reason 8 is my favorite number!
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby ++$_ » Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:21 pm UTC

Kurushimi wrote:So, two mathematicians were visiting the Vatican. The first said "I'm really interested in meeting the pope.". "Why?" said the second. "Well, the pope is the highest cardinal." he replied. "Impossible", the second refuted, "every pope has a successor".

=D
In my experience, the Pope is a rather inaccessible cardinal.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby majikthise » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:42 am UTC

++$_ wrote:
Kurushimi wrote:So, two mathematicians were visiting the Vatican. The first said "I'm really interested in meeting the pope.". "Why?" said the second. "Well, the pope is the highest cardinal." he replied. "Impossible", the second refuted, "every pope has a successor".

=D
In my experience, the Pope is a rather inaccessible cardinal.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby dean.menezes » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:41 am UTC

Why do they call it the center of the city?

Spoiler:
Because everyone commutes there.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Sat Jun 12, 2010 9:37 am UTC

IDGI ... is there a mathematical meaning of commute that is related to the center of a circle or something?
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby jestingrabbit » Sat Jun 12, 2010 10:53 am UTC

Monika wrote:IDGI ... is there a mathematical meaning of commute that is related to the center of a circle or something?


In group theory, the set of elements that commute with every other element is called the centre of the group.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:28 pm UTC

Ah, thank you.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby inarus » Wed Jun 16, 2010 5:05 pm UTC

Indefinite integration: for maths without limits
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby yukizora » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:11 am UTC

Small people are compact.
Being stubborn is being not open.
Therefore, small people are stubborn.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Harg » Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:01 am UTC

Not necessarily. They could be disconnected from the rest of the world.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:29 am UTC

Another cheesy math pick-up line:

Hey baby, I'd like to sample your curves 90 degrees to the right to find out just what makes you vibrate/shake.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Sun Jun 27, 2010 7:56 pm UTC

Hey people! I've started learning about scripting/SMIL in SVG, and I developed a simple-but-neat dynamic piece of code. It's an "image" that can tell jokes, running on ECMA script. So it should work on almost all browsers - just not old-ish versions of IE. Here's the BBCode:

Code: Select all

[img]http://timeroot.zxq.net/jokeSvg.php[/img]


And here is what it actually looks like:

Image

It will produce a random math joke from this forum each time the page loads. I haven't entered too many jokes, though, mostly I was just testing.

EDIT: Apparently, Firefox won't accept SVG in img tags - because it's not standard. So... no Firefox in BBCode. But if you want to display it in Firefox and you have access to full HTML, you can use the <embed> tag.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Eebster the Great » Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:03 am UTC

That image doesn't seem to work in any version of IE or Firefox.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:00 pm UTC

Yeah, okay, it doesn't work in *any* version of IE. And I said it didn't work in Firefox. But you should be able to view it in any Webkit or Opera, as far as I can tell.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Eebster the Great » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:05 pm UTC

squareroot wrote:Yeah, okay, it doesn't work in *any* version of IE. And I said it didn't work in Firefox. But you should be able to view it in any Webkit or Opera, as far as I can tell.


What about Chrome?

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:17 pm UTC

Eebster the Great wrote:
squareroot wrote:Yeah, okay, it doesn't work in *any* version of IE. And I said it didn't work in Firefox. But you should be able to view it in any Webkit or Opera, as far as I can tell.


What about Chrome?


Chrome == Webkit. It should work there.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Xanthir » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:55 pm UTC

It doesn't, at least on Chrome/Linux.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Dason » Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:18 pm UTC

At least here on the forum I can't see it on any of Safari, Firefox, or Chrome. I'm using my MacBook which might have something to do with it. I mean... it has a box and a weird yellowish looking button but on the forum there's no joke and the text in the button is just garbage. If I just go to the link I can view it fine.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:21 am UTC

Aww. Sounds like it doesn't work on those either. I'm cut off from my normal computer for a while, but I was told that putting an svg image into an <img> tag (which is what the BBCode does, instead of using the appropriate <embed> or <iframe>) would work in Webkit and Opera. Oh well. Maybe I can get an admin to make [svg] BBCode tag.. but I can imagine that could almost be a security risk.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby kaimason1 » Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:48 am UTC

Or someone could make a greasemonkey script to change any svg in an img tag to a svg in a svg tag. Just saying.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Xanthir » Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:22 am UTC

squareroot wrote:Aww. Sounds like it doesn't work on those either. I'm cut off from my normal computer for a while, but I was told that putting an svg image into an <img> tag (which is what the BBCode does, instead of using the appropriate <embed> or <iframe>) would work in Webkit and Opera. Oh well. Maybe I can get an admin to make [svg] BBCode tag.. but I can imagine that could almost be a security risk.

SVG-in-<img> does work in webkit (and I think Opera). Your SVG doesn't, though. It didn't work for me when I directly visited http://timeroot.zxq.net/jokeSvg.php either. It breaks in slightly different ways, though - on the forum, the button just has teeny tiny text, and clicking it does nothing. On its own page, you can see the text on the button, and clicking it makes it move and change to "Back" (and clicking it again makes it return), but otherwise nothing happens.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby squareroot » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:07 pm UTC

0.0 Xanthir, what browser (including version #) and OS are you using? Sounds old... or dumb... probably dumb, if it can do scripts but not right.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:03 pm UTC

My complaint is the text doesn't fit in the box.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby kaimason1 » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:15 pm UTC

Works fine on its own page in Firefox.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Xanthir » Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:07 pm UTC

squareroot wrote:0.0 Xanthir, what browser (including version #) and OS are you using? Sounds old... or dumb... probably dumb, if it can do scripts but not right.

Chrome 5.0.375.70 beta. Linux Goobuntu Hardy (Google's Ubuntu fork).
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby bitsplit » Wed Jun 30, 2010 12:30 pm UTC

I see an image in the sig, but no actual joke inside the box.

I am running Chrome 5.0.375.86 beta on Windows 7 x64


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