Favorite math jokes
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 SlyReaper
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Re: Favorite math jokes
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a textbook on number theory.
(it rhymes and is the right number of syllables at least)
Next.
(it rhymes and is the right number of syllables at least)
Next.
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 phlip
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Re: Favorite math jokes
The ω days of Christmas?
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 Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes
SlyReaper wrote:On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a textbook on number theory.
I am so going to steal this.
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Re: Favorite math jokes
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
 two calculators
 and a textbook on number theory.
Kewangji wrote:Someone told me I need to stop being so arrogant. Like I'd care about their plebeian opinions.
blag
 SlyReaper
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Re: Favorite math jokes
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
12 ODEs
11 Chiral knots
10 Marsenne primes
9 Vector fields
8 Eigenvectors
7 Spirolaterals
6 Tensors tensing
5 Golden ratios
4 Peano curves
3 French Metro metrics
2 Riemann spheres
And a textbook on number theory.
12 ODEs
11 Chiral knots
10 Marsenne primes
9 Vector fields
8 Eigenvectors
7 Spirolaterals
6 Tensors tensing
5 Golden ratios
4 Peano curves
3 French Metro metrics
2 Riemann spheres
And a textbook on number theory.
What would Baron Harkonnen do?
 TheChewanater
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Re: Favorite math jokes
On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
f(n) = item_{n} * n + f(n  1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0
http://internetometer.com/give/4279
No one can agree how to count how many types of people there are. You could ask two people and get 10 different answers.
 Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes
TheChewanater wrote:On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
f(n) = item_{n} * n + f(n  1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0
That doesn't rhyme.
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 Eebster the Great
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Re: Favorite math jokes
TheChewanater wrote:On the nth day of Christmas my true love gave to me f(n), where:Talith wrote:In the spirit of Christmas, maybe we should write our own maths parody of the 12 days of Christmas in a new thread.
f(n) = item_{n} * n + f(n  1) if n > 0
f(n) = 0 if n <= 0
See, without a general formula form item_{n}, this isn't really helpful.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Heisenberg's wife: "I can't find my keys!"
Heisenberg: "You must know too much about their momentum."
Heisenberg: "You must know too much about their momentum."
Blue, blue, blue
 Yakk
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often. And X is the roman numeral for 10.
So your Christ at the start of your post could be read as a reference to your list of ten things.
As a poor reflection on me, I found that wordplay funny.
On the first day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
1
On the second day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
2>2
On the third day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
3>3>3
On the forth day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
4>4>4>4
please wait... calculating
So your Christ at the start of your post could be read as a reference to your list of ten things.
As a poor reflection on me, I found that wordplay funny.
On the first day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
1
On the second day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
2>2
On the third day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
3>3>3
On the forth day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
4>4>4>4
please wait... calculating
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision  BR
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Yakk wrote:Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often.
Huh. Well I guess I'll file that under 'more random facts involving the Letter X.'
 Eebster the Great
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Yakk wrote:Actually, X is used to replace the word Christ pretty often. And X is the roman numeral for 10.
So your Christ at the start of your post could be read as a reference to your list of ten things.
As a poor reflection on me, I found that wordplay funny.
On the first day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
1
On the second day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
2>2
On the third day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
3>3>3
On the forth day of Christmas, Conway gave to me
4>4>4>4
please wait... calculating
3→3→3 is already ^{7625597484987}3 = [imath]\underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}[/imath]. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Eebster the Great wrote:MidsizeBlowfish wrote:Best dirty math joke ever:
What's the square root of sixtynine?
Eight someting.
Meh
I know this is from ages ago, but I couldn't help pointing out that there's a new Rihanna song with these lyrics:
Rihanna ft Drake wrote:I heard you good with them soft lips
Yeah you know word of mouth
the square root of 69 is 8 something
cuz I’ve been tryna work it out, oooow
Meh.
 Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Rihanna's songwriter reads the xkcd forum
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 Yakk
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Eebster the Great wrote:3→3→3 is already ^{7625597484987}3 = [imath]\underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}[/imath]. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.
Bah, that isn't that big in log* scales.
Not log, log*. log* is the number of times you have to recursively call log for the value to fall below 0. There was a reasonably funny case where they had an algorithm that seemed to behave linearly with regards to size of input, but nobody could prove it  eventually, someone proved it was O(n log*n)...
I laughed out loud when I ran into that anecdote in Papadimitriou. So that's my joke contribution for this post.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision  BR
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
 Eebster the Great
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Yakk wrote:Eebster the Great wrote:3→3→3 is already ^{7625597484987}3 = [imath]\underbrace{3^{3^{3^{.^{.^{.}}}}}}_{7625597484987}[/imath]. So you might have some difficulty calculating that one, too.
Bah, that isn't that big in log* scales.
Not log, log*. log* is the number of times you have to recursively call log for the value to fall below 0. There was a reasonably funny case where they had an algorithm that seemed to behave linearly with regards to size of input, but nobody could prove it  eventually, someone proved it was O(n log*n)...
I laughed out loud when I ran into that anecdote in Papadimitriou. So that's my joke contribution for this post.
Its trinary superlogarithm is still over seven trillion, so I would indeed consider it large on that scale. But at least 7625597484987 can be fully written out, I guess.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Off topic much?
 Yakk
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Re: Favorite math jokes
No.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision  BR
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Re: Favorite math jokes
I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
 Eebster the Great
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Re: Favorite math jokes
hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
Good one. In some sense that proof does seem valid.
Though it does beg the question . . . a lot.
Re: Favorite math jokes
The best part is that Fermat's Last Theorem is not powerful enough to prove that [imath]\sqrt{2}[/imath] is irrational.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Q: Who was the fattest knight at the Round Table?
A: Sir Cumference
Q: What was his favorite food?
A: Pie!
I deserve punishment for puns that bad
A: Sir Cumference
Q: What was his favorite food?
A: Pie!
I deserve punishment for puns that bad
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 Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes
I like it.
Why do Englishspeaking people always apologize for puns?
Why do Englishspeaking people always apologize for puns?
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 Eebster the Great
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Monika wrote:Why do Englishspeaking people always apologize for puns?
I think it's because they're not really funny, just annoyingly clever.
And some people have to apologize because they overuse them.
 Yakk
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Re: Favorite math jokes
A riff on it:
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. The remainder of this proof is too long to be written in this margin.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. The remainder of this proof is too long to be written in this margin.
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision  BR
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Last edited by JHVH on Fri Oct 23, 4004 BCE 6:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Hopefully not a repost:
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
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 Monika
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Aaaw, this is cute
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Re: Favorite math jokes
Why was six afraid of seven?...Because seven "eight" nine!
Why was seven afraid of eight?...Mathematical induction.
Oh. You already heard that one...
Why was seven afraid of eight?...Mathematical induction.
Oh. You already heard that one...
 BlackSails
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Re: Favorite math jokes
hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem?

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Re: Favorite math jokes
Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem?
So you doubt that Fermat had a proof?
The cake is a pie.
Re: Favorite math jokes
I don't see how this begs the question. Fermat's Last Theorem has been proven, and I see no invalid algebraic steps in this proof.Eebster the Great wrote:hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
Good one. In some sense that proof does seem valid.
Though it does beg the question . . . a lot.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
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Re: Favorite math jokes
I don't see how this begs the question. Fermat's Last Theorem has been proven, and I see no invalid algebraic steps in this proof.
One would need to find out whether the statement he proved is used somewhere in the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. I'm no expert on this
(or on any math, at this point), but I heard that Wiles used many results of higher math (things that have only been proven recently), and you would have to check every single one of them for this trivial lemma.
The cake is a pie.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Ah, OK. That makes sense.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffercait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Mindworm wrote:Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem?
So you doubt that Fermat had a proof?
Ehm, yes. I doubt so very much. Fermat may have been brilliant, but he is nothing compared to 4 centuries of exhaustive research by hundreds of thousands of mathematicians. If we still haven't found his proof, he didn't have one. And the proof Wiles gave couldn't possible have been the one Fermat had.
It's Wiles' Theorem.
It's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist
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Re: Favorite math jokes
For the final question on an oral exam, a student was asked to find the limit to infinity of the following sequence: I know, I know that you know, I know that you know that I know, I know that you know that I know that you know, ...
Dazzled, all the student could come up with was, "I don't know."
The professor, equally baffled, replied, "Seriously? Come on. It's common knowledge!"
Dazzled, all the student could come up with was, "I don't know."
The professor, equally baffled, replied, "Seriously? Come on. It's common knowledge!"
Re: Favorite math jokes
BlackSails wrote:hnooch wrote:I searched for this and don't think it was posted. I think it's pretty humorous.
Theorem: The nth root of 2 is irrational for n >= 3.
Proof: Suppose not. Then there exist relatively prime integers p and q so that p^{n} / q^{n} = 2, and hence p^{n} = q^{n} + q^{n}. By Fermat's Last Theorem, however, there can be no such integers. This is a contradiction, hence the nth root of 2 is irrational.
Shouldnt it really be called the Wiles' theorem?
I'm glad that I'm not the only person who thinks this.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Why should it be called "Wiles's Theorem"? If you ask me, it should be called Serre's Theorem. After all, Serre didn't prove it OR formulate it, which makes him an appropriate person to name it after.
Alternatively, we could call it "Gauss's Theorem," because someday we are going to find out that Gauss proved it at age 10.
Alternatively, we could call it "Gauss's Theorem," because someday we are going to find out that Gauss proved it at age 10.
Re: Favorite math jokes
Meh. It's been called Fermat's Last Theorem for so long that it should probably just stay that way. Anyhow I don't really care that much about what name goes along with what theorem because typically it tells you nothing about who discovered or proved the theorem. I think there's a humorous 'law' named after this...
Edit: Stigler's Law!
Edit: Stigler's Law!
double epsilon = .0000001;
Re: Favorite math jokes
++$_ wrote:lternatively, we could call it "Gauss's Theorem," because someday we are going to find out that Gauss proved it at age 10.
In that case we should name it Cauchy's Theorem. Because it seems to be a requirement in mathematics that every theory be named after Cauchy.
It's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I have an independent mind, you are an eccentric, he is round the twist
 Bernard Woolley in Yes, Prime Minister
 Bernard Woolley in Yes, Prime Minister
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