Favorite math jokes

For the discussion of math. Duh.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby drock » Thu Oct 16, 2008 7:53 pm UTC

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby telcontar42 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:44 pm UTC

A bunch of functions are hanging out at bar. There's trigonometric function, logarithmic functions, polynomials, all different kinds of functions hanging out and drinking. Suddenly the door flies open and a differential walks in. The functions are all terrified. They dive behind the bar, jump out of windows, hide under their tables, generally try to get the heel away from this differential, except for one function that sits calmly at the bar sipping his drink. The differential walks up to him and says "What? Aren't you afraid of me like everyone else? Why aren't you running away?". The function replies "I'm e^x, bitch! You can't touch me". The differential just looks at him and says "Who said I differentiate with respect to x?"

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby fransisco4 » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:58 pm UTC

NathanielJ wrote:What did Euler find in the toilet?

Spoiler:
Natural Log

So... i guess you read SMBC?

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Thu Oct 16, 2008 11:11 pm UTC

fransisco4 wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:What did Euler find in the toilet?

Spoiler:
Natural Log

So... i guess you read SMBC?


My brain first interpreted that as "Sid Meier's Beta Centauri" before going "Wait, what?"
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby NathanielJ » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:01 am UTC

fransisco4 wrote:
NathanielJ wrote:What did Euler find in the toilet?

Spoiler:
Natural Log

So... i guess you read SMBC?


Not regularly. Saw it in a friend's Facebook status and wasn't sure where it came from.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Mathmagic » Fri Nov 21, 2008 5:49 am UTC

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby oxoiron » Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:17 pm UTC

That's the first, truly funny one I've seen in a while. Well done.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Mathmagic » Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:52 pm UTC

To be fair, I'm not the one that made that joke up, but thanks! :D
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Office_Shredder » Fri Nov 21, 2008 5:38 pm UTC

Why did the vector cross the road? He wanted to be normal

A baseball coach once had the most talented team he'd ever seen. Unfortunately, it all got flipped upside down when he put his naturals in a field.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.


Splitting the bill must be a headache.

The division ring one plus that sentence gave me a good idea...

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Buttons » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:28 pm UTC

So one matrix says to the other, "Hey, are you equal to your square?" And the other one says, "No, I think you're projecting."

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Alexius » Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:23 pm UTC

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates, but it's St. Peter's day off, and the junior angel manning the gate doesn't let him in. So he goes to the Other Place, and doesn't like it much- it stinks, he has to climb endless winding staircases to get anywhere, and it's as hot as, well, Hell.
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"Everything's really great. We got an engineer last month and now we have air conditioning, and escalators, and flush toilets..."
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby bigglesworth » Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:27 pm UTC

The version I heard of that involved the engineer building a bridge between hell and heaven to let him (and everyone else) into heaven, causing God to want to sue.

But, yeah, that's a good one.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby phi1.618 » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:14 am UTC

read below :!:
.|
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\|/
When a mathemetician is faced with the option of having either $20 or everlasting bliss in the afterlife which does he choose?
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The $20 because nothing is better than everlasting bliss in the afterlife and $20 is better than nothing

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Luthen » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:43 am UTC

Which means he isn't a well practiced logician. (Four term fallacy)
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby phi1.618 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:16 am UTC

oh shh its supposed to be cute not accurate. :roll:
When a mathemetician is faced with the option of having either $20 or everlasting bliss in the afterlife which does he choose?
Spoiler:
The $20 because nothing is better than everlasting bliss in the afterlife and $20 is better than nothing

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby nerd1729 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:09 pm UTC

Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

hehe! now that's funny! :D i wonder where you heard it(as you wrote you didn't make it up).
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Mathmagic » Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:10 pm UTC

nerd1729 wrote:
Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

hehe! now that's funny! :D i wonder where you heard it(as you wrote you didn't make it up).

I saw it on a Facebook group discussion topic.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Buttons » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:21 pm UTC

Really? I just assumed you read God Plays Dice, since you posted it just a couple days after it appeared there.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Mathmagic » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:24 pm UTC

Heh. No, but I imagine the original poster of it on the Facebook group had read it from there (since it was a mathematics group). I don't have time to read blogs myself; I just rely on xkcd members to post all the interesting stuff from random blogs for me. :P
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby NathanielJ » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:49 pm UTC

This link that contains the joke predates the God Plays Dice link by 3 days, but I'm not sure if it's the original source or not.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby tricky77puzzle » Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:07 am UTC

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second one 1/2 of a beer. The third one, 1/3 of a beer. The fourth one, a quarter of a beer. Before the fifth one can place his order, the bartender says, "You think I've got enough for everybody? Shoo!" and hustles them all out.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Yesila » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:02 am UTC

tricky77puzzle wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer. The second one 1/2 of a beer. The third one, 1/3 of a beer. The fourth one, a quarter of a beer. Before the fifth one can place his order, the bartender says, "You think I've got enough for everybody? Shoo!" and hustles them all out.


I like this version much more than the previous one.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby tricky77puzzle » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:32 pm UTC

Yesila wrote:I like this version much more than the previous one.


Meh, I pretty much made this one as a derivative of the original joke.

The mathematicians who were shooed out now changed their clothes and walked back into the bar.

The first mathematician ordered 1/2 of a beer. The second, 1/3 of a beer. The third, 1/5 of a beer. The fourth, 1/7 of a beer. Before the fifth one could place his order, he was again rudely interrupted by the bartender, who said, "How many times do I have to tell you, I don't have enough for everybody!" and hustled them out again.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Gunfingers » Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:28 pm UTC

Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

Am i doing my math wrong, or does this not actually come out to slightly less than two? By my math you need to get out a second glass by the time you're at the fourth mathematician.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby SlyReaper » Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:46 pm UTC

Gunfingers wrote:
Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

Am i doing my math wrong, or does this not actually come out to slightly less than two? By my math you need to get out a second glass by the time you're at the fourth mathematician.


1+1/2+1/3+1/4+1/5+... sums to infinity.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby jestingrabbit » Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:00 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
Gunfingers wrote:
Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

Am i doing my math wrong, or does this not actually come out to slightly less than two? By my math you need to get out a second glass by the time you're at the fourth mathematician.


1+1/2+1/3+1/4+1/5+... sums to infinity.


and 1 +1/2 +1/4 +1/8 ... sums to 2 exactly, not any less at all.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:07 am UTC

jestingrabbit wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:
Gunfingers wrote:
Mathmagic wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth mathematician can place his order, the bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

Am i doing my math wrong, or does this not actually come out to slightly less than two? By my math you need to get out a second glass by the time you're at the fourth mathematician.


1+1/2+1/3+1/4+1/5+... sums to infinity.


and 1 +1/2 +1/4 +1/8 ... sums to 2 exactly, not any less at all.


Oh yeah, I thought he was quoting the second version of that joke. :oops:
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby ConMan » Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:32 am UTC

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/6 of a beer. The third orders 1/21 of a beer. The fourth orders 1/107 of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the barman says "How do you expect me to work out how much this is gonna cost?"
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby BlackSails » Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:10 am UTC

ConMan wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/6 of a beer. The third orders 1/21 of a beer. The fourth orders 1/107 of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the barman says "How do you expect me to work out how much this is gonna cost?"

:D

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders a beer. Thie third one orders a beer. The fourth one orders a beer. Before the fifth one can place his order the bartender says: "Finally, some normal customers!"

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Yesila » Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:33 am UTC

BlackSails wrote:
ConMan wrote:An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/6 of a beer. The third orders 1/21 of a beer. The fourth orders 1/107 of a beer. Before the fifth mathematician can place his order, the barman says "How do you expect me to work out how much this is gonna cost?"

:D

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders a beer. Thie third one orders a beer. The fourth one orders a beer. Before the fifth one can place his order the bartender says: "Finally, some normal customers!"


The only real problem that I see with this series of jokes is that of all the mathematicians that I know none of them would drink just one beer, let alone a fraction of one. So the tale should go; An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders 10 beers. The second orders 12 beers. The Third orders 3 double scotchs and 2 jager bombs. The fourth...

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby 3.14159265... » Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:37 am UTC

A mathematician walks into a bar where they have $3 for a beer and orders a beer, a second mathematician orders two, a third orders three, before the fourth orders his the bartenders throws them a quarter.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Torn Apart By Dingos » Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:23 am UTC

3.14159265... wrote:A mathematician walks into a bar where they have $3 for a beer and orders a beer, a second mathematician orders two, a third orders three, before the fourth orders his the bartenders throws them a quarter.

I was wondering when someone was going to make this joke. I had the same idea, but couldn't think of a good way to phrase it.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:43 pm UTC

What does it mean to throw a quarter?
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Diadem » Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:54 pm UTC

I don't get it either. That series clearly diverges.. Where's the joke?
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Xanthir » Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:44 pm UTC

Diadem wrote:I don't get it either. That series clearly diverges.. Where's the joke?

Here you go.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby tricky77puzzle » Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:24 pm UTC

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar, where it's a dollar for a beer, but you can buy and sell beers for the same price.

The first mathematician gives the bartender one beer. The second orders two beers. The third gives the bartender three beers. The fourth orders four. Before the fifth one can place his order, the bartender throws them a quarter.

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders a beer. Thie third one orders a beer. The fourth one orders a beer. Before the fifth one can place his order the bartender says: "Finally, some normal customers!"


No, the bartender should throw them a half-dollar coin.

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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Mathmagic » Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:58 pm UTC

tricky77puzzle wrote:
Yesila wrote:I like this version much more than the previous one.


Meh, I pretty much made this one as a derivative of the original joke.

I see what you did there.
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby joshz » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:16 am UTC

I would just like to point out my avatar.

(In case it's too small there:)
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby Monika » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:21 am UTC

Is the name of the roboter something like Optimus Derived?
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Re: Favorite math jokes

Postby joshz » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:27 am UTC

Monika wrote:Is the name of the roboter something like Optimus Derived?

Optimus Prime.
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