You Might Be a Biology Major if...

For the discussion of the sciences. Physics problems, chemistry equations, biology weirdness, it all goes here.

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Sartorius
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Sartorius » Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:53 pm UTC

You love the smell of formaldehyde.

You get frustrated with the arbitrary definitions of vegetables and fruits in the food pyramid. Corn and peas are fruits.

People ask you health-related questions even though what you're studying has nothing to do with the human body.

You know field biologists have just as much adventure as those Hollywood paleontologists.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Username4242 » Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:31 pm UTC

If your room is littered with extant and extinct bones... along with your quintessential Indian Jones-esque hat to keep heat stroke at bay.

If you look at animals and immediately start analyzing their skeletal and muscle structure without really meaning to.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby MHD » Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:11 pm UTC

You might be a Biotech major if you know all genetic triplets and their amino acids.

You migh be a biology major if you show off by reciting the latin names of various animals.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby psychosomaticism » Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:47 pm UTC

Sartorius wrote:You get frustrated with the arbitrary definitions of vegetables and fruits in the food pyramid. Corn and peas are fruits.


Can definately relate to that. As an addendum, raspberries and strawberries aren't real berries. The former is a friggin' aggregate fruit.

You might be bio major if, when revealing your major, common folk ask you why you're interested in plants.

...though once I was asked if I was into rocks when I said biology major...

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Donatello » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:33 am UTC

You might be a bio major if someone asks you how Michael Jackson died and you say "pulmonary failure linked to cardiac arrest" instead of "he died." (We will all miss him, in one way or another.)
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Username4242 » Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:36 am UTC

You might be a biology major if--

You don't post on the XKCD forums...

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Interactive Civilian » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:59 am UTC

... you find this to be a nearly constant thought whenever watching a lot of movies and tv shows (even the news and other fact based stuff):
"EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!" :x
(and neither does mutation)
I (x2+y2-1)3-x2y3=0 science.

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dragon
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby dragon » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:08 am UTC

You can bet on cringing through any movie explanation that uses "mutations" to explain super powers.

You start wondering whether the tendency towards humanoid forms in science fiction would be through convergent or divergent evolution.

Fruit flies make you groan.

You can whip up a crude DNA extraction in your kitchen with ease.

You refuse to eat home-made preserves.

You find this amusing.
Context? What context?
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Interactive Civilian » Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:35 am UTC

dragon wrote:You find this amusing.
Hehehehehe... That is cute. :D
I (x2+y2-1)3-x2y3=0 science.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:59 pm UTC

You might be a biology major if most of your reactions to gore in films are: "Well, that's unrealistic." Then you make your friends sqeamish by telling them what should happen.
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes"

So. Twitter

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Sartorius » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:48 pm UTC

Meteorswarm wrote:
Sartorius wrote:You get frustrated with the arbitrary definitions of vegetables and fruits in the food pyramid. Corn and peas are fruits.


But... corn and peas are seeds, unless you mean the carpel of the peas.


In the grass family, the pericarp/the fruit is fused with the seed coat.

You might be a biology major if you describe organs using the food you're eating or bodily functions while you're eating.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Hit3k » Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:13 am UTC

If all the other science majors make fun of you.
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Cytoplasm
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cytoplasm » Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:17 am UTC

dragon wrote:
You can whip up a crude DNA extraction in your kitchen with ease.




I can do that!! I did a whole experiment on it..but someone forgot to remind me in my rapture that the tomato is a fruit... ugh.


When you can name types of plants and tell if a landscaper did their job wrong; know if someone used too much mulch to kill the trees, can start grouping the types of trees and if their cones are male of female (ooh and then start thinking what the offspring would end up like!!).
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

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Shivahn
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Shivahn » Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:53 am UTC

Somewhat relatedly, if when someone mentions "tree sperm" you realize what they mean about as fast as if they'd said "pollen".

If you regularly make jokes involving species classification.

If every time someone claims that humans aren't apes, you cringe and wonder if they think that trees aren't plants.

If you think that this video is one of the most beautiful videos ever.

More later, when my pineal gland isn't having a melatonin party.

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dragon
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby dragon » Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:54 am UTC

Meteorswarm wrote:
dragon wrote:You refuse to eat home-made preserves.
What's wrong with homemade preserves? Surely sugar is a fine preservative - just look at honey!
Not so much honeys and jams, but low-sugar, low-acid products.

On the topic of Clostridium botulinum, Wikipedia wrote:Honey, corn syrup, and other sweeteners may contain spores but the spores cannot grow in a highly concentrated sugar solution; however, when a sweetener is diluted in the low oxygen, low acid digestive system of an infant, the spores can grow and produce toxin.
...
Growth of the bacterium can be prevented by high acidity, high ratio of dissolved sugar, high levels of oxygen, very low levels of moisture or storage at temperatures below 38°F. For example in a low acid, canned vegetable such as green beans that are not heated hot enough to kill the spores (i.e., a pressurized environment) may provide an oxygen free medium for the spores to grow and produce the toxin. On the other hand, pickles are sufficiently acidic to prevent growth; even if the spores are present, they pose no danger to the consumer.
Pina M. Fratamico, Arun K. Bhunia, and James L. Smith in Foodborne Pathogens wrote:Today, most outbreaks of foodborne botulism are associated with home-prepared foods, where known control measures were not implemented. Epidemiologic and investigational studies have indicated that the home-prepared food causing the most incidences of botulism included home-canned vegetables and meats, garlic, mushrooms and other vegetables packed in oil or in an anaerobic wrapping such as aluminium foil or plastic wraps, improperly processed or fermented meats, and fermented fish products and marine animal parts...
Context? What context?
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Blokey » Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:07 am UTC

Shivahn wrote:If you regularly make jokes involving species classification.

What did the nudibranch say to the passing bivalve?
"...Big Issue?"

If you think that this video is one of the most beautiful videos ever.

Awesomeness.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Link » Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:06 am UTC

YMBABM if, whenever the topic of "trial and error" comes up, you recruit/gather a control group of whatever the subject is.
...if you cringe when someone says "humans and animals" as if they're different things.
...if you covertly observe groups of people and make notes for your primate behaviour study.
...if you often find yourself thinking "that's not how evolution would do it" with regards to human inventions.
...if you always wear protective masks and goggles and camouflage gear because you don't want to "contaminate the experiment".
YMBABM and a racist if you consider differently-coloured people different subspecies.

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Cytoplasm
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cytoplasm » Sat Jun 27, 2009 5:18 pm UTC

If I don't know better I would say I was a biology major..but I'm not.

...when you make corny jokes involving bars and fungi
... when you can think of new jokes easily
... make experiments out of breakfast
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

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Username4242
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Username4242 » Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:49 pm UTC

Shivahn wrote:
If every time someone claims that humans aren't apes, you cringe and wonder if they think that trees aren't plants.


"Birds aren't dinosaurs" also falls under this category. :D

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Agent_Irons » Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:39 pm UTC

YMABtM if you have a list of mad science experiments for your senior thesis.

Seriously, why hasn't anyone tried engineering new opsin genes into themselves? See in more than 4 colors!

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Link » Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:45 pm UTC

YMBABM if you splice the GFP gene into your unborn child's genome. Bonus points if you manage that without waking up the missus.

Yeah, mad science experiments FTW. Glow-in-the-dark babies for even more win!

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Cytoplasm
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cytoplasm » Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:35 pm UTC

Yum, luciferase gene...
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Blokey » Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:10 pm UTC

If you think an acceptable chat-up line is:
"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby WholeLottaSean » Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:12 am UTC

Blokey wrote:If you think an acceptable chat-up line is:
"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."


I lolled hard

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Velifer » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:14 pm UTC

...you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies have nothing to lose but their chains -Marx

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Karantalsis » Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:30 pm UTC

You no longer smell E. coli. So much so that when someone walks into your lab and asks "What's the smell?" you immediately worry that its you, or try to sniff for a gas leak. When they say "No that smell like shit." you actually have to think about it before you realise you stopped smelling it years ago and now its something you'd miss if it went away.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Cytoplasm » Mon Jun 29, 2009 6:43 pm UTC

Incubated E. coli...gotta love it.
¡No tengo miedo a fantasmas!

Spoiler:
Cytoplasm: I have catoragized some of my family into lolcats.
Felstaff: For a drudging Thursday afternoon, that level of cuteness has really made my day. Can... Can I keep you?

Felstaff wrote:
Cytoplasm wrote:shannonigans

<3

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Username4242 » Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:47 pm UTC

Your friend eats a chicken, and your immediate next step is to remove all the tissue and ligaments from the bones and put them in a Hydrogen Peroxide bath.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Sartorius » Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:25 pm UTC

Blokey wrote:If you think an acceptable chat-up line is:
"If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."


If you've taken this line and use it as a basis for explaining DNA replication as a date/one-night stand.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Omegaton » Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:32 am UTC

YMBABM if people ask if you're going to med school. That was the first thing I had to set people straight on after I said I studied Biology... :roll:

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby sgt york » Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:45 pm UTC

Velifer wrote:...you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

Perfect. We can stop now.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby crowey » Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:31 am UTC

YMBABM if... you find this amusing.
A man walks into a bar, he says "I'd like a pint of adenosinetriphosphate please".
"certainly sir" says the barman "that'll be 80p"

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Yggdrasil » Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:04 am UTC

Velifer wrote:...you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.


This applies to chemists as well (at least the ones doing experiments).


Meteorswarm wrote:YMBABM if you picked classes expressly to avoid premeds...


I tried this and ended up with a degree in physical chemistry :D

HeroicFail
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby HeroicFail » Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:01 am UTC

PE means Punctuated Equilibrium instead of Physical Education.

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Omegaton
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Omegaton » Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:25 pm UTC

Meteorswarm wrote:YMBABM if you classify what you eat by clade.

I actually don't eat within my class.

A professor I had once challenged the class to think of a five phylum stew, that is, a dish that would actually contain members of five different animal phyla. It is not easy to think of one that would be typical or sound very delicious. Chordata, Mollusca, and Arthropoda were some of the first choices, but we had to be a little more creative for the last two. I've also eaten sea cucumber and jellyfish which checked off two other phyla, but again, it didn't sound very appetizing.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Donatello » Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:41 pm UTC

YMBABM if you picked classes expressly to avoid premeds...


(sarcasm) Wow, what's with the pre-med hate around these parts? EVERYONE knows that doctors live to help others and raise loving families(un-sarcasm).

Really, I'm partially indifferent to most premed guys( except the batshit-insane ones, they deserve to be ridiculed). The worst thing that comes to mind is just simple elitism and disregard for other people's interests in anything but the biological sciences.

YMBABM if the discovery of cyclic adenosine monophosphate was the best thing since baked bread.
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby brook_88 » Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:37 pm UTC

YMBABM if...


- You are more likely to panic if you leave the house without your access all hours lab card rather than your keys...

- The idea of any scientist having a regular timed lunch break confuses you...

- You've left a date for half an hr to go run a gel to check that your PCR worked... (she says whilst her date waits in the pub patiently and her gel runs)

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Sourire » Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:30 am UTC

Sartorius wrote:You get frustrated with the arbitrary definitions of vegetables and fruits in the food pyramid. Corn and peas are fruits.

I thought I was the only one!
Emi: Let the urge take you on a magic coaster ride of innuendo!

Kewangji: The universe is having an orgasm. Right now.

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Username4242
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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby Username4242 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:14 am UTC

Your desktop wallpaper shifts every minute to varying photos of Gondwanan dinosaurs (and the geologic localities they're found in).

It's hard not to love those things... they're just so utterly bizarre.

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Re: You Might Be a Biology Major if...

Postby sgt york » Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:08 am UTC

YMBAM if you can spend an hour or two carefully flushing the pus, blood, and fungal balls from an infected lung druing a prep, and during one of the washes have to take a break because you're so damn hungry....and eat some yogurt.

And don't think twice about it anymore.


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