You might be a chemistry major if...

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Lukeje
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Lukeje » Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:17 am UTC

Cobramaster wrote:You are mad at keyboards for not including the standard Micro symol (µ)
I'm normally more annoyed by the lack of the Å symbol. I don't care if it's non-SI damn it!

and I'm also kind of annoyed that the forum LaTeX environment doesn't seem to recognise \AA meaning I had to use the HTML...

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joshz
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby joshz » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:27 am UTC

If you have a mac, that's option+a.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Minerva » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:44 am UTC

You should really be doing all that sort of stuff in LaTeX anyway, to ensure perfect cross-platform compatibility if you have to distribute electronic files to other people and you don't know what OS and what software they've got.
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Secateurs
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Secateurs » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:25 am UTC

Jorpho wrote:Alt+0176 is also very handy.
Ah. I normally just insert a lower case 'O' in superscript for that, because I can't be bothered doing the whole insert symbol thing. Now that I've checked it, in Word I've got it as Ctrl+@. Handy :D
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Link » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:30 am UTC

Minerva wrote:You should really be doing all that sort of stuff in LaTeX anyway, to ensure perfect cross-platform compatibility if you have to distribute electronic files to other people and you don't know what OS and what software they've got.

If you're not using fancy positioning, plain old Unicode is cross-platform enough - practically any modern, self-respecting OS, editor and typeface can display the more common Unicode characters.

Besides, if everyone just uses Unicode wherever it is called for, that only helps reaffirm the position of that standard.

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joshz
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby joshz » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:24 pm UTC

...you think up chemistry-related "your mom" jokes:
Your mom's like a valence electron in a covalent bond: everybody shares her.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

Halebit
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Halebit » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:46 am UTC

--Realize most curse words can be spelled out using the periodic table

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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Link » Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:56 am UTC

Halebit wrote:--Realize most curse words can be spelled out using the periodic table

...YMBACM if you synthesise molecules for which the chemical formula spells a cuss word.

Hmm, I wonder if it's possible to bind bismuth, technetium and hydrogen together.

Halebit
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Halebit » Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:18 pm UTC

Or Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

--YMBACM if you can spell them out without looking at a periodic table.

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joshz
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby joshz » Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:36 pm UTC

Halebit wrote:Or Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium

--YMBACM if you can spell them out without looking at a periodic table.
FTFY.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

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waltwhitmanheadedbat
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby waltwhitmanheadedbat » Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:13 am UTC

Link wrote:
dedalus wrote: - You'd get much more pleasure synthesising the drugs yourself then actually taking them.

This made me think of another one:

YMBACM if, whilst high on drugs, you visualise the structure of a new drug. You synthesise this drug, and use yourself as a test subject. Then, during the high of this new drug, you think of another drug, creating a recursive loop of trippin' and synthesisin'!


Is that you, Dr. Shulgin? How have you been doing? :-)

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oxoiron
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby oxoiron » Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:52 pm UTC

...you ran experiments to determine how much cholesterol is in various "cholesterol-free" egg substitutes (let me just say that the FDA and I do not agree on the definition of 'cholesterol-free').

...you've been pulled out of line at the airport because you have nitro compounds on your baggage.

...you could whip up a batch of crystal meth at work and easily pass it off as something you are supposed to be doing.

Coworker: Nice crystals. Whatcha working on?

You: Ligand.

Coworker: Oh. *loses interest and walks away*
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."-- Mark Twain
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manmantong2000
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby manmantong2000 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:15 pm UTC

oxoiron wrote:...you ran experiments to determine how much cholesterol is in various "cholesterol-free" egg substitutes (let me just say that the FDA and I do not agree on the definition of 'cholesterol-free').

...you've been pulled out of line at the airport because you have nitro compounds on your baggage.

...you could whip up a batch of crystal meth at work and easily pass it off as something you are supposed to be doing.

Coworker: Nice crystals. Whatcha working on?

You: Ligand.

Coworker: Oh. *loses interest and walks away*


I just want to say that the second line of your signature is very updated.

You might be a chemistry major, if you started a facebook club for the chemistry students, and advertise it by writing on the white boards of different chemistry lecture room, including yours.

You might be a chemistry major, if changing to sub script and super script with Ctrl + Shift + + (in MS) is a common knowledge to you.
"Me no speak English" makes perfect sense.

jahwn lemonjello
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby jahwn lemonjello » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:31 am UTC

If you like me actually considered tatooing the periodic table on your arm for easy access.
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Cobramaster
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Cobramaster » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:56 am UTC

If you have a periodic table in your wallet at all times.
SlyReaper wrote:Did you never notice the etymological link between "tyrannosaur" and "tyrant"? 1% of the dinosaurs had 99% of the prey. Occupy Pangaea.

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joshz
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby joshz » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:59 am UTC

...you don't need a periodic table (or maybe that's only if you're a chemistry professor)
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

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Cobramaster
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Cobramaster » Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:36 pm UTC

You always need a periodic table if only as a reference on atomic mass of those things you hardly use.
SlyReaper wrote:Did you never notice the etymological link between "tyrannosaur" and "tyrant"? 1% of the dinosaurs had 99% of the prey. Occupy Pangaea.

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Whelan
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Whelan » Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:45 pm UTC

jahwn lemonjello wrote:If you like me actually considered tatooing the periodic table on your arm for easy access.

I considered doing that for my chemistry exam in July.
Then I remembered we're given one with the test so it wasn't worth it.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
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oxoiron
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby oxoiron » Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:58 pm UTC

jahwn lemonjello wrote:If you like me actually considered tatooing the periodic table on your arm for easy access.
I thought I was the only one.
Cobramaster wrote:If you have a periodic table in your wallet at all times.
Instead, I settled for this.
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."-- Mark Twain
"There is not more dedicated criminal than a group of children."--addams

bobertjmurphy
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby bobertjmurphy » Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:31 am UTC

It's all so true!

When I was working on my Ph.D., I went to the university medical center with a painful rash on my penis. After ruling out STDs, the doctor asked what I was studying. "Organic chemistry." "Do you wash your hands before you urinate?" "No." "Start. Immediately. You idiot!" The rash went away.

Anyway, here's a variation. YMBA Organic Chemistry Grad Student If...

... everybody in your department drinks beer and coffee. Even the Mormons.
... Drano is the least hazardous chemical you use.
... you use dichloromethane as an insecticide. (It dissolves chitin.)
... you insist on calling a "Thermos bottle" a Dewar flask.
... you know how to get any stain out of any piece of clothing. (I think that's why my wife married me.)
... you find "phthalic symbol" jokes funny more than once.
... you think Scientific American is horribly biased because every illustration of an organic chemical comes from a biological system.
... your nose beats an infrared spectrometer at identifying functional groups.
... you wish you could use dichromate cleaning solution on your dishes at home without poisoning yourself.
... you've ever had a faculty member say, "I don't think you're putting enough time in on research. You haven't had a fire yet this month."
... you wonder why nobody has ever adapted magnetic stirrers for home use.
... you know a coffee percolator is really a Soxhlet extractor

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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby bobertjmurphy » Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:36 am UTC

oxoiron wrote:...you could whip up a batch of crystal meth at work and easily pass it off as something you are supposed to be doing.


There was a guy in our department who did that in the early 80s. Repeatedly. Sold it through the local branch of the Hell's Angels. Faculty members would walk through his lab and never comment on the huge piles of white crystals drying on the countertop. He eventually wound up in Texas' state prison at Huntsville.

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Charlie!
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Charlie! » Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:30 am UTC

bobertjmurphy wrote:... you wish you could use dichromate cleaning solution on your dishes at home without poisoning yourself.

That sounds really scary. A bottle of acetone under the sink is enough for me, thanks.
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di gama
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby di gama » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:15 pm UTC

bobertjmurphy wrote:... you use dichloromethane as an insecticide. (It dissolves chitin.)


Dichloromethane still gives me a bad taste in my mouth over an argument I had with my HS chemistry teacher when I tried to convince her that it was polar. THE CHLORINES DON'T CANCEL!

YM become ACM if:
- you teach the chemistry class while the teacher isn't looking.

bobertjmurphy
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby bobertjmurphy » Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:20 pm UTC

di gama wrote:\Dichloromethane still gives me a bad taste in my mouth over an argument I had with my HS chemistry teacher when I tried to convince her that it was polar. THE CHLORINES DON'T CANCEL!


Yes, it has a smidgen of polarity, but let's play the "How Nonpolar Is Dichloromethane?" game...

It's SO NONPOLAR, it's completely insoluble in water.
It's SO NONPOLAR, you can use it in place of hexane or pet ether to extract non-salt organic reaction products from aqueous solution.
It's SO NONPOLAR, its boiling point is marginally above room temperature (like diethyl ether, hexane, or pet ether).

Polarity is on kind of a scale. If hexane is a 0 and water is a 10, dichloromethane would be like a 1.

Okay, here are a few more. YMBACM If...
... people always ask you to hand-wash the dishes after parties or holiday meals because you're so much faster and more efficient than anyone else.
... when they do that, you don't mind because everything is non-toxic.
... but they DON'T want you to wash dishes on camping trips with limited water because you can't stop rinsing everything three times.
... when the biologists are autoclaving their petri dishes, and the odor of baked refrigerator-experiments-gone-wrong is making everybody around you vomit, you just laugh because any day you can smell something and it doesn't kill you, it's a good day.

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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby jahwn lemonjello » Sat Jan 16, 2010 1:46 am UTC

You have lost one of your olfactory senses more than once,
You hate when people use the name of an element to mean a compound that it's in. (I doubt that there is pure flouride in our water or pure chlorine in our pool.
You have lost count of the number of times you have passed out as a result of an expirement
You have prefected usage of the hazard shower and eye wash.
Hunting will not be a sport until the U.S. government recognizes the right to arm bears.

While there is a bad way to be weird, there is no good way not to be.

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joshz
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby joshz » Sat Jan 16, 2010 1:47 am UTC

jahwn lemonjello wrote:You hate when people use the name of an element to mean a compound that it's in. (I doubt that there is pure flouride in our water or pure chlorine in our pool.
Or pure sodium in food.
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
suffer-cait wrote:it might also be interesting to note here that i don't like 5 fingers. they feel too bulky.

jahwn lemonjello
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby jahwn lemonjello » Sat Jan 16, 2010 1:58 am UTC

joshz wrote:
jahwn lemonjello wrote:You hate when people use the name of an element to mean a compound that it's in. (I doubt that there is pure flouride in our water or pure chlorine in our pool.
Or pure sodium in food.

Or your body.
Hunting will not be a sport until the U.S. government recognizes the right to arm bears.

While there is a bad way to be weird, there is no good way not to be.

All that is gold does not glitter, not all who wander are lost.

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Charlie!
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Charlie! » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:51 am UTC

jahwn lemonjello wrote:
joshz wrote:
jahwn lemonjello wrote:You hate when people use the name of an element to mean a compound that it's in. (I doubt that there is pure flouride in our water or pure chlorine in our pool.
Or pure sodium in food.

Or your body.

I dunno, this seems accurate enough to me. If I dissolve sodium fluoride in some water to protect my teeths, there is both sodium and fluoride in that water. It's slightly ambiguous for the positive ion because when I say it out loud I don't distinguish between Na0 and Na+, but I guess you'll just have to suck it up :P
Some people tell me I laugh too much. To them I say, "ha ha ha!"

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Josephine
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Josephine » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:46 am UTC

fluoride is the ion, not the element.

/pedantry

but point taken. I doubt you'll see many products sold with elemental chlorine or sodium in them.
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Charlie!
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Charlie! » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:53 am UTC

nbonaparte wrote:fluoride is the ion, not the element.

/pedantry

Right - it has fluoride in it, because it has negative fluorine ions :P
Some people tell me I laugh too much. To them I say, "ha ha ha!"

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Jorpho
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Jorpho » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:01 am UTC

Perhaps it would be more accurate to refer to "chloridated water" rather than "chlorinated water" ?

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meat.paste
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby meat.paste » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:48 am UTC

... you insist on calling a "Thermos bottle" a Dewar flask.
-Yep

... you know how to get any stain out of any piece of clothing. (I think that's why my wife married me.)
-I'm also the resident pharmacist. I do make mistakes on the stain front, though. Is it my fault the solvents I suggest also remove the dyes from the clothes (and occationally dissolves the clothes, too?)

... you find "phthalic symbol" jokes funny more than once.
-Titter

... you wish you could use dichromate cleaning solution on your dishes at home without poisoning yourself.
-It works great on carbon deposits! Remove all organics from your glass ware / dishes! It's awesome sauce.

... you wonder why nobody has ever adapted magnetic stirrers for home use.
-This is a GREAT idea

... you know a coffee percolator is really a Soxhlet extractor
Ooh. I hand't thought of it that way.

Periodic tables go on coffee mugs, by the way. That way the reference is always there for you. (YMBACM if the coffee mug is always within 5 feet of you. I wish I could whistle to my coffee cup in Martian and have it follow me around a la Stranger in a Strange Land

The periodic table I really want on a coffee mug is the one that lists the natural isotopes separately along with their atomic weights. It'll have to be a big coffee mug, but I'm a chem major, so I drink a lot of coffee.

YMBAC Grad student if you've done the math on the cheapest way to caffeinate your self. Helpful hint: Try dissolving a small amount of caffeine in your cheap drip coffee.
Huh? What?

ikrase
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby ikrase » Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:49 pm UTC

you teach the chemistry class while the teacher isn't looking.


This has happened in a few of my freshman and sophomore high school science classes. Not anymore thank god. AP phys is tough.
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Krikkit_Robot
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Krikkit_Robot » Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:08 pm UTC

You can just change you keyboard settings to US International
I know this option is available on Windows and most Linux distros

µ is simply alt-M
Å is alt-shift W

and there are many other useful scientific symbols like

exponents: ¹²³
fractions ¼ ½ ¾
× and ÷
and even a Beta/Eszett ß

The only problem is that with Windows " is also an accent key which means you have to turn the settings back to US standard if you want to do any coding. This is not a problem with Linux.
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Roĝer
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Roĝer » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:25 am UTC

The Greek Beta is not the same as the German Eszett, they only look similar. Also, how hard is it to press " and a space instead of just "?
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ShayanThePersian
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby ShayanThePersian » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:03 pm UTC

Yggdrasil wrote:... you see the word 'unionized' and it has nothing to do with labor unions.


At first, I didn't get that because I didn't see the connection with the word and labor unions. Then my mom read it and I was like "Oh!".

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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Krikkit_Robot » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:52 pm UTC

Roĝer wrote:The Greek Beta is not the same as the German Eszett, they only look similar. Also, how hard is it to press " and a space instead of just "?


Yes I know what an Eszett is, but you can pretty much use it interchangeably with Beta.

And the extra key stroke just doesn't come naturally. I always have to go back and correct a hundred little syntax errors like Änd instead of "And
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cmcaulay07
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby cmcaulay07 » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:20 am UTC

ShayanThePersian wrote:
Yggdrasil wrote:... you see the word 'unionized' and it has nothing to do with labor unions.


At first, I didn't get that because I didn't see the connection with the word and labor unions. Then my mom read it and I was like "Oh!".


yep! I agree with that haha... Wow, I can't believe how much effort it took me to realize that one... :?

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Charlie!
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby Charlie! » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:12 am UTC

So yesterday in the cafeteria, someone at the next table said something about TBS being awesome, and it took me 20 seconds to stop interpreting it as tert-butylsilyl.
Some people tell me I laugh too much. To them I say, "ha ha ha!"

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rath358
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Re: You might be a chemistry major if...

Postby rath358 » Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:56 am UTC

you might be a chemistry major if
you like to draw illegal explosive/mind-altering chemicals on blackboards when nobody is looking.
you proudly keep track of how much glassware you have broken.


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