Clubbing trends.

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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How often do you go clubbing?

Never been
59
49%
Less than 3 times
19
16%
About once a year
9
8%
Few times a year
16
13%
About every month
10
8%
Few times a month
7
6%
 
Total votes: 120

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Clubbing trends.

Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:55 pm UTC

After discussion on girl thread, I want to know how many people here actually go clubbing.

Also you may discuss your experiences in said outings.

Bar/clubs count.

Bars alone, like a diner with alcohol does not.

I go about once every month.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:57 pm UTC

I go a few times a month. Sometimes to a pirate-themed wine bar, sometimes to a local pub that plays live music, sometimes to a goth/punk club and sometimes just to a general club. Depends what is playing and when.

I love live music, and I love dancing, and I love being around people.

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Postby semicolon » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:59 pm UTC

Seals. They made that illegal, though. So I switched to raccoons.

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Postby vrek » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:01 pm UTC

baby seals. especially those I raise in my back yard especially for clubbing.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:11 pm UTC

Jesster, when you go to general clubs, is there certain themes you go for?

I usually just go downtown with a few people, and go into a good club we know of that doesn't have a big line up.
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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:12 pm UTC

The first time I went and ENJOYED myself was.... last Friday. I'm not sure what's normal, but all I did was hang around, talk to my friends, and drink.
Last edited by Mighty Jalapeno on Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:14 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby TRM » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:13 pm UTC

Bars, I go usually once every month {or two, possibly three this coming year as I'm a senior} just for a couple of hours with my friends. We catch a little buzz and talk for the night and then we head back home.

I go clubbing. I'm not really the type of guy that ends up hooking with random people though, and I don't like grinding.

When I go to clubs though I go with my friends, so seeing as there's no other guys around to mess around with, I usually get up on the podium and dance for a couple of hours by myself. Usually it takes a vodka red bull and I'm up there for ages. I've been meaning to go again as I haven't gone for about two months ago -- that's cause everyone's only interested in foam parties, which I really can't be assed to go. It becomes SO expensive.

When you're not a uni student clubbing can be a ginormous hassle...

EDIT: And by the way, Brussels is seriously lacking in clubs that have varied themes. The club I go to tends to be full of pretentious rich kids who are generally quite superficial. My friend wants to introduce me to the gay night at another club though, plus another club full of druggies who aren't as superficial.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:20 pm UTC

3.14159265... wrote:Jesster, when you go to general clubs, is there certain themes you go for?

I usually just go downtown with a few people, and go into a good club we know of that doesn't have a big line up.


Anything that doesn't play dance music, and can't house more than about 40 people is what I like. I tend to shift around depending on where live music is being played.

My intentions in going to a club is where I can listen to decent music, and the drinks won't empty my wallet. And preferably where people like you don't visit.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:21 pm UTC

Thats alright Jesster, but do you see what I meant though. We visit different types of clubs.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:24 pm UTC

Yes, because I've been to those sort of clubs, one of which actually had it's license revoked in Blackpool, but managed to sneak its way out of closing. Girls felt unsafe, they were groped, sexually assaulted and even raped (sometimes by the bouncers).

I can see how they're your kind of place.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:26 pm UTC

Rape isn't my thing. Consentual groping is.

Wait, so how come girls kept going to this place? (not trying to blame the victims, just wondering)
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:28 pm UTC

It was all hushed up for a long long time, and it was very good at promoting itself.

As for the consensual part of your sentence, it seems that the entirety of the ladies on this fora have disagreed with your idea of permissible, so I would not hold that as a gold standard.

But this is the last I shall say tonight, as I am actually furious, and no good can come of it.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:32 pm UTC

As for the consensual part of your sentence, it seems that the entirety of the ladies on this fora have disagreed with your idea of permissible, so I would not hold that as a gold standard.
I was surprised, as the majority of the ladies I know agree with me.

Good can come of it, I listen.

Thats why I started this thread, to try and find out, if there is really something wrong with my method.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:38 pm UTC

Okay then, my girlfriend used to write for The Underground, this meant listening to live bands in small bars and clubs around where she lived in Edinburgh. There were two clubs she had to frequent to do this, one was lovely, a small gothy kind of place where the music was decent and the drinks were cheap and everyone got on with their own thing.

Then there was the second in which she would be harassed and groped all night, often returning home either angry or in tears because of it. But she couldn't stop going because she wanted to keep writing for the Underground.

Three seconds is no time at all. Count them out now, they pass in, well, three seconds. If a girl indicates to you that touching is fine, then awesome, but I am incredibly angry about the assumption of "A, this girl is in a club, she must be looking for a guy. Oh, she hasn't moved away from me in an absolutely tiny amount of time, this is clear permission that my hands should be on her hips, or that my crotch should be againt hers".

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:46 pm UTC

Personal experience eh. I was best friends with a girl who got raped by her then "bf" in a party.

Shit like that sucks.

However consider what I am saying though. When I do what I said above, it always 2 guys and 2 girls.

We dance over to them, of course after eyeing them for a while, but they might not notice this. They are on the dance floor dancing now.

So then as we walk close to them and start dancing. Each girl looks at the opposing guy, this always happens. Usually the let the other girl know that the guy is ok with a nod, a smile or a thumbs up. Either way, after about 3 seconds I put my hand on her hips and dance for a few more seconds.

At this point they will have known whether they want to continue or not.

I don't see how you claim that is not consentual.

I go to clubs to have fun with girls, many girls there are there to have fun with the guys.

Asking for a dance is out of the question, it never works.

Going there with people you already know defeats the point of going clubbing. (Though I do go to bars/clubs sometimes with people I know)
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:48 pm UTC

And yet you have every single girl who posted in response to you saying that you are wrong. This is a consensus of opinion. But not only that, you complained that at least one or two girls a night get terribly offended and treat you like a rapist.

Do you not see how this is bad?

Not to mention that from what I hear over there in America/Canada you guys have singles bars that are for the express purpose of finding a guy/girl, in which I could understand this kind of behaviour.
Last edited by Jesse on Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:50 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:49 pm UTC

I've been to Ajax. I can almost guarantee he doesn't see why it's wrong.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:55 pm UTC

And yet you have every single girl who posted in response to you saying that you are wrong. This is a consensus of opinion.
Yeah, which is why I started this. However in my "real life", all girls (who are friends) find this to be perfectly alright. Thus the dilema. Either I have friends that like bieng sexually assualted, or girls on the Fora don't go to the type of clubs I go to.
But not only that, you complained that at least one or two girls a night get terribly offended and treat you like a rapist.
There are also about 5 every night that are quite content, and leave their numbers. Making me think that the one or two maybe the types of girls that just have alot of attitude.

I've been to Ajax. I can almost guarantee he doesn't see why it's wrong.
Ha! I party in London, Ontario though. My university city, big party place.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:57 pm UTC

There really is no more I can say and remain polite.

I hope you get maced.

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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:58 pm UTC

I want you to concentrate on this sentence
Either I have friends that like bieng sexually assualted, or girls on the Fora don't go to the type of clubs I go to.


Try to understand where I am comming from here.

I am actually trying to see how it is wrong, if so many consider it consentual.
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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:59 pm UTC

3.14159265... wrote:
I've been to Ajax. I can almost guarantee he doesn't see why it's wrong.
Ha! I party in London, Ontario though. My university city, big party place.

Just because a German is in France doesn't mean he's French, and just because someone from Ajax parties in London doesn't mean he ain't from Ajax no more. :)

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Postby robinberghuys » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:01 pm UTC

Maybe it depends on what kind of club you are in. In some places, girls will get up on the bar in a mini skirt without panties, trying to see how many guys they can kiss in one night. In other places, not so much.
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Postby Rat » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:03 pm UTC

closest ive come to clubbing is when i was listening to die sektor while rolling and hauling ass down this under construction road in the middle of the night

but oh man this road let me tell you

mustve been like 2 miles of construction

about every 10 feet was road block with a flashing light

and that was anywhere from 4 to 6 columns thick

>club

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Postby Shadow Tyrant » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:03 pm UTC

Never been, and I don't plan to. I'm not big on the whole "go out, get drunk. and rub against complete strangers with loud shitty music in the background making you go deaf" thing.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:05 pm UTC

Shadow Tyrant wrote:Never been, and I don't plan to. I'm not big on the whole "go out, get drunk. and rub against complete strangers with loud shitty music in the background making you go deaf" thing.


Dude, they are the horrible clubs. Go to a wine bar, or a goth/punk/alternative club. Go watch local bands play, some will be horrible, some will be awesome.

Do not miss out on a great part of life because there exist clubs that cater to guys like Pi.

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Postby robinberghuys » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:09 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:
Shadow Tyrant wrote:Never been, and I don't plan to. I'm not big on the whole "go out, get drunk. and rub against complete strangers with loud shitty music in the background making you go deaf" thing.


Dude, they are the horrible clubs. Go to a wine bar, or a goth/punk/alternative club. Go watch local bands play, some will be horrible, some will be awesome.

Do not miss out on a great part of life because there exist clubs that cater to guys like Pi.


On the other hand, when you're drunk, all those things (loud shitty music in the background making you go deaf and rubbing against complete strangers) is a lot of fun. Sometimes that can be expensive, but that's what frat* parties are for: cheap beer!

(*Not sure if I used the correct term. We call them studentenverenigingen; student clubs.)
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Postby d3adf001 » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:15 pm UTC

Image

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Postby mister k » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:44 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:
Shadow Tyrant wrote:Never been, and I don't plan to. I'm not big on the whole "go out, get drunk. and rub against complete strangers with loud shitty music in the background making you go deaf" thing.


Dude, they are the horrible clubs. Go to a wine bar, or a goth/punk/alternative club. Go watch local bands play, some will be horrible, some will be awesome.

Do not miss out on a great part of life because there exist clubs that cater to guys like Pi.


I'm not sure I consider those to be clubs... just bars with music. Bars and pubs are fine, I have no time for clubs, I detest cattle markets and have no interest in one night stands thus I am not interested. Also I look like a moron when I dance. Admittedly so does most of the rest of the country, but many people don't appear to be aware of this....

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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:47 pm UTC

d3adf001 wrote:Image


Finally someone brings brevity and thoughtfulness to the discussion.

Or rather, I lol'd.
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Postby d3adf001 » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:03 am UTC

wouldnt it be more humane and easier if they shot them or electrocuted them?

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Postby unjovial » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:04 am UTC

I go to clubs maybe a few times a month. I love to dance. Love it. I love to go to raves, where it is okay to dance hard, right next to the speakers and work up a sweat. I generally avoid the popular clubs in my town, because they are too packed to move comfortably in and they're filled with 18-22 year old guys who think it's okay to put their hands on me. However, I still go to these clubs with my friends when they want to go and admittedly end up having a great time, because we often run into people we know, but don't see often. Then we all dance together and make idiots of ourselves, usually mock-dancing (eg. shaking butts, fake-hitting on eachother, the odd friend-to-friend grind and generally laughing about the fact that we're dancing to a song that goes "my lump - my lovely lady lump" *fergie-shudder*).

If a guy puts his hands on me, my usual response is to simply move his hands away and give him a discouraging look, because the music is too loud to say "I find it insulting that you assume I am straight, interested in you and part of the "Clubs 4 Sex" movement without ever having made eye contact with me. You are the reason I usually avoid places like this. As a straight guy, imagine if every time you went to a popular club you were touched and rubbed-against by men who were being explicit about the fact that they see you as a sexual object, then you might know how I feel: disgusted, frustrated, derailed and intensely aware of the fact that a significant chunk of the human population believes that I am entitled to less personal space, deserve less respect and am not to be feared when insulted."

The problem is that there seem to be few hints that a drunk, horny and sexist man will pick up on before he touches a fellow night-clubber with tits. There was this one time that a guy started walking toward us and my friend said "No. No, no, no. Just stop there. Turn around, go the other way". He was flabbergasted. The look of suprise and injury on his face was memorable. I thought it was pretty mean, because I wasn't to know that he was one of the sleazy ones. He may actually have been working up the courage to talk to a girl all night. Poor guy. Anyway, this was a proactive approach to avoid gropage and it was effective, but there is another, more humane way. The other way to avoid being touched in a familiar way without having given obvious persmission IS FOR GUYS TO STOP TOUCHING GIRLS IN A FAMILIAR WAY WITHOUT GETTING OBVIOUS PERMISSION. It's pretty bloody simple. Stop assuming I'm here for sex and that I won't be offended and potentially dangerous if you make unwelcome advances. If men violate the personal space of a woman, without her invitation, they're opening themselves up to be berated, lectured, treated like a sleaze/sexual offender. And if men want a hands-on approach to human communication, then it's reasonable for women to use their hands on your body to make it clear that such advances are unwelcome (ie. pain).

This doesn't mean I hate guys, sex or nightclubs - I like them all. It means that I wish for a world with more equality and where my rights are upheld by the community around me.

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Postby Belial » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:16 am UTC

I really, *really* would like to see women start *injuring* men who do this.

Maybe then they'll learn.

Just a good kick to the junk. Or a good ol' happy funtime pepper spraying.
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Postby dagron » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:32 am UTC

I hate clubs. Loud, bad music making conversation impossible. And there's not enough liquor in the world to make dancing seem like a good idea. And the claustrophobia I get in pressing crowds like that. Crowds full of sweaty drunks.

I'm all in favor of going out drinking, but clubs are awful.

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Postby Gordon » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:37 am UTC

When I go to those types of clubs I usually wait until the girl presses up against me. Usually it follows: Eye Contact -> "dance" over -> start off face to face, then if the girl wants she'll turn around and it's hands on the hips. I figure if the girl wants to rub up against me she's probably ok with me touching her hips. Plus when I go to clubs I drink, so it's a balance thing too.

I put dance in quotes because I'm fairly certain I have no idea how to dance *shrugs* good thing I have pretty eyes. /vain
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Postby Sprocket » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:42 am UTC

Jesster wrote:I go a few times a month. Sometimes to a pirate-themed wine bar, sometimes to a local pub that plays live music, sometimes to a goth/punk club and sometimes just to a general club. Depends what is playing and when.

I love live music, and I love dancing, and I love being around people.


wow those actually sound FUN!
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Postby recurve boy » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:53 am UTC

unjovial wrote: editted to take up less space


This seems to me as one of those "rock and a hard place" situations. These places are always going to attract guys who are dicks. Now you pack a place full of people who are dancing, sell them alcohol, put up the music so loud you can't hear anything else and make it dark with flashy epileptic lights. I wouldn't be helpful upholding your rights either. I can't see or hear you.

It's unreasonable to expect horny, drunk dicks to behave.

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Postby Belial » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:01 am UTC

Clarify what you mean by "expect".

If you mean "hold to a standard of acceptable behaviour", then one should expect the same of horny drunk dicks than of anybody else.

If you mean "predict the behaviour of" then yes, horny drunk dicks probably won't behave. I suggest macing them.
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Postby AnonyMouse » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:02 am UTC

It's unreasonable to expect horny, drunk dicks to behave.


just because something is unlikely, that doesn't mean it's unreasonable.
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Postby Easton » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:15 am UTC

You have to realize that there are different behaviours expected of different situations. I'm not suggesting that sexual assault is an expected behaviour in any situation, but there is an etiquette to dancing, and to grinding, as much as there is to any human interaction. That you, yourself, do not enjoy grinding, does not mean others do not. Yet the fact that there are (many) women who do, does count against the point that all men who participate in it are dicks, and that it is inappropriate to dance without asking. It would be a very bare floor if it was all women, or all dancers took the time before each song (which does not exist) to ask permission. Instead, there is a subtle back and forth that implies consent - like when you are walking head-on towards someone on the sidewalk.

Just my two cents. I, myself, club on occasion, but not with any great frequency. Perhaps a couple of times a year.

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Postby Belial » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:19 am UTC

Instead, there is a subtle back and forth that implies consent


Considering there seem to be a sizable number of people who get groped without their consent, implicit or otherwise, this system would appear to be broken.
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