How much is a kiss worth?

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hermaj
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How much is a kiss worth?

Postby hermaj » Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:40 am UTC

Okay, so I was at a 21st last night, and, as with every time I drink, I had a sudden craving for a cheeseburger. However, I also only had 60c to my name. Which led to a Discussion! If I were to go to McDonalds and order my $AU 1.85 cheeseburger and then offer to pay them in kisses, exactly how many kisses would there have to be to equal the cost of a cheeseburger? Would I be able to give them $1.25 worth of kisses and then hand over my 60c? Are there inflation rates on kisses as a currency? My friend suggested I find a hooker and ask her what a kiss is worth, but you guys seem much more mathematically qualified to give me a good answer. :D

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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:51 am UTC

A blow job would probably get you a LOT of cheeseburgers.

But I digress.
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Postby ulnevets » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:29 am UTC

Peshmerga wrote:A blow job would probably get you a LOT of cheeseburgers.

depends on what kind of cheese you want...

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Postby hyperion » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:41 am UTC

well that was a quick turn-around from a (fairly) innocent topic
Peshmerga wrote:A blow job would probably get you a LOT of cheeseburgers.
But I digress.

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Postby william » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:42 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Postby Rat » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:43 am UTC

depends on how hot you are... and how attracted the kissee is in you.. there is no set value... its just whether or not theyre interested/desperate...

chances are if they work in a fast food place you can get by with just a few kisses.. or one....

thats not an insult to people who work in fast food places, its a compliment to hermaj....

i cant help but feel im insulting somebody here >_>...

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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:45 am UTC

Oh me yarm I WORK AT MCDONALDS AND I AM THOROUGHLY OFFENDED SIR I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT>>>>

But seriously, I would give hermaj my cheeseburger any day :oops:
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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Postby synaesthesia » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:36 am UTC

In this thread's continual approach of the gutter, I'd just like to add, wouldn't it also depend on where you kiss?

Than again, some smart dude once said that kisses are a better fate
than wisdom (sorry if that was really pretentious). That makes it sound pretty valuable.
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Postby Gelsamel » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:55 am UTC

'Thought they were priceless.

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Postby Naruki » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:58 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:'Thought they were priceless.


priceless != worthless
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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:23 am UTC

If it was me working, a kiss would get you a cheeseburger.

And fries.

And a soda, if you'd like one.


That said, that offer only applies to people that I know (including regular posters on the board). So hermaj, for example, or TheTankengine could get this deal but you couldn't just sign up on the board, make one post and plant one on me. I don't just trust my kisses to anyone.

EDIT: that said, if you stopped by my apartment you wouldn't even have to kiss me to get food and a beer. Might not be very good food, but you'd get to eat it in the company of a true great!
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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:28 am UTC

It can't just be a kiss on the cheek though. I'd have to have at least 15 seconds of tongue. Or if you flash me.

Seriously, anyone who gets off on a simple lip kiss, well; iono.
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Postby Hawknc » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:33 am UTC

For the right person, a kiss is worth changing your entire life.





In most other cases, though, about 75 cents Australian.

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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:41 am UTC

Peshmerga wrote:It can't just be a kiss on the cheek though. I'd have to have at least 15 seconds of tongue. Or if you flash me.

Seriously, anyone who gets off on a simple lip kiss, well; iono.


Actually, for these purposes I'd say quite the opposite. Tongue-kissing is for a select group of people. Well, nobody at the moment :( . Maybe again in the future some time.
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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:45 am UTC

Tongue-kissing is the only type of kissing! Everything else just builds up to it!
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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:49 am UTC

If you're like most people, Pesh, you've been kissing your grandmother for years. I don't even want to think about what you two have built up to now :twisted:
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Postby synaesthesia » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:50 am UTC

So does this build-up kissing have a lower value as currency than tongue kissing, or no value?

I'd have to agree that only tongue kissing is worth a cheeseburger. I'm not giving anyone greasy, bunned foodstuffs if they're just a cheek-kissing tease.
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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:53 am UTC

Wouldn't it be kind of awkward tongue-kissing someone you just met? That's really intimate and personal, you have to have some comfort level with the person or else it's just weird. Anyone? Or am I just an old man?
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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:53 am UTC

aldimond wrote:If you're like most people, Pesh, you've been kissing your grandmother for years. I don't even want to think about what you two have built up to now :twisted:


Hot sechs? Oh no, that wasn't the right answer.

I'd give someone... maybe I'd give them a free drink for a cheek kiss.

Wouldn't it be kind of awkward tongue-kissing someone you just met? That's really intimate and personal, you have to have some comfort level with the person or else it's just weird. Anyone? Or am I just an old man?


I dunno; if it's a spur of the moment thing there are usually few consequences and it's automatically labelled as "hooking up" rather than "going out". Although it's best not to engage in tongue kissing immediately with another person if it's the start of a serious relationship. Lip kissing is fine then; for maybe a couple minutes.
Last edited by Peshmerga on Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:55 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Hawknc » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:55 am UTC

aldimond wrote:Wouldn't it be kind of awkward tongue-kissing someone you just met? That's really intimate and personal, you have to have some comfort level with the person or else it's just weird. Anyone? Or am I just an old man?

Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!

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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:01 am UTC

Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!
One of these days my desk is going to collapse in the middle and all its weight will come down on my knee and tear my new fake ACL. It could be tomorrow. This is my concern.

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Postby synaesthesia » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:13 am UTC

aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


You are obviously not going to the right parties :P

Admittedly, it would probably be pretty awkward to tongue kiss the stranger who serves you food at McDonalds. But it would also be pretty awkward to kiss the stranger who serves you food at McDonalds on the cheek. Intimacy is completely relative.
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Postby Fuolornis Fire Dragon » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:30 am UTC

synaesthesia wrote:
aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


You are obviously not going to the right parties :P

Admittedly, it would probably be pretty awkward to tongue kiss the stranger who serves you food at McDonalds. But it would also be pretty awkward to kiss the stranger who serves you food at McDonalds on the cheek. Intimacy is completely relative.
I have nothing against tongue-kissing complete strangers, as long as they're female. Anything past kissing, though...uh-uh.
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Postby drollglee » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:26 am UTC

I agree with what was stated above. Kisses aren't a uniform currency. Every individual is essentially their own political state, with one person's kisses being stronger than another's and certain kisses being stronger against specific other kisses. If I'm particularly hot for redheads, one of those kisses is worth five blonde kisses. Unfortunately its a difficult economic system to trade within. Consumers often show an unreasonable and non-capitalist amount of brand loyalty to their distributors and for the most part the entire system limits itself to an antiquated batering style of business.

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Postby programmerbrad » Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:36 am UTC

aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


I agree with you!
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Postby milkyway2heaven » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:31 am UTC

Kisses are much too valuable to just be thrown around like that!

:(

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Postby myoumyouou » Sun Dec 17, 2006 12:32 pm UTC

kisses are worth lots
i know thats a totally lame answer,
but i don't care. kisses are worth what you mean them to be worth.
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Postby Rat » Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:23 pm UTC

programmerbrad wrote:
aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


I agree with you!


yes... im 18 and i agree... i just hate kids these days.. kids and their parties and getting drunk.. and they think theyre all that... "LOL OOOH I GOT LIEK SOOO WASTED LST NITE N PUKED ALL VOER MY BED"...

ridiculous.

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Postby no-genius » Sun Dec 17, 2006 1:45 pm UTC

Rat wrote:depends on how hot you are...


Have you not seen the pics? Hell, I would probably give my house for a kiss from hermaj!
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Postby Hawknc » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:32 pm UTC

Rat wrote:
programmerbrad wrote:
aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


I agree with you!


yes... im 18 and i agree... i just hate kids these days.. kids and their parties and getting drunk.. and they think theyre all that... "LOL OOOH I GOT LIEK SOOO WASTED LST NITE N PUKED ALL VOER MY BED"...

ridiculous.

I don't agree with that, I prefer alcohol - like everything else - in moderation. I'm just a free love kinda guy. ;)

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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:26 pm UTC

Rat wrote:
programmerbrad wrote:
aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


I agree with you!


yes... im 18 and i agree... i just hate kids these days.. kids and their parties and getting drunk.. and they think theyre all that... "LOL OOOH I GOT LIEK SOOO WASTED LST NITE N PUKED ALL VOER MY BED"...

ridiculous.


I'm 17 and I disagree; I hate kids these days that go around with their abstinence attitude trying to forge their own lives into some secure vault, afraid and hostile towards everything "bad".

I actually don't, but I think that kind of judgment is simply retarded.

One can be lustful and loving at the same time; don't think we're just on a constant ecstasy trip.
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Postby Rat » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:44 pm UTC

Peshmerga wrote:
Rat wrote:
programmerbrad wrote:
aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:Totally an old man. Ain't nothin' wrong with hooking up with strangers - that's the whole point of parties!


No it isn't! Why is my Internets full of make-out whores!?! I demand a refund!


I agree with you!


yes... im 18 and i agree... i just hate kids these days.. kids and their parties and getting drunk.. and they think theyre all that... "LOL OOOH I GOT LIEK SOOO WASTED LST NITE N PUKED ALL VOER MY BED"...

ridiculous.


I'm 17 and I disagree; I hate kids these days that go around with their abstinence attitude trying to forge their own lives into some secure vault, afraid and hostile towards everything "bad".

I actually don't, but I think that kind of judgment is simply retarded.

One can be lustful and loving at the same time; don't think we're just on a constant ecstasy trip.


ahahaha... im far from abstinent... but its the kids that run around getting wasted all the time and acting like complete idiots... the "party animal" types... i go to college and i see plenty of these people running around...

i dont care about how "right" abstinence is... im very opposed to it in fact... its just very ANNOYING when people act like idiots... according to my definition of idiot...

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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:52 pm UTC

So you're a kill joy.

Cool.
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Postby aldimond » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:03 pm UTC

Him and me both.

Now GET OFF MAH LAWN!
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Postby no-genius » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:23 pm UTC

aldimond wrote:Him and me both.

Now GET OFF MAH LAWN!


and into the lake?

if i work in mcdonalds and hermaj wants to kiss me, whatver im doing, i must be doing it right
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Postby william » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:30 pm UTC

A pox on both your houses. :P
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Postby hermaj » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:04 pm UTC

I would not be so comfortable with tongue, just because I do not think I could give it well. That said, apparently I am a pretty good closed-mouth kisser. And into that kiss I would pour all my gratitude and delight at finally getting a delicious cheeseburger! I think it would be a pretty good kiss. I would just not half-arsedly kiss someone. Cheeseburgers are worth more to me than that. :D

Also I think moderation is pretty essential! Going to parties and getting wasted and waking up pregnant is pretty bad. Going to parties and preaching that alcohol is the devil and everyone is from Sodom is also pretty bad. My friends and I have a relaxed attitude towards stuff like that. I have friends that do and friends that don't drink, and neither group has any issue with the other.

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Postby Peshmerga » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:28 pm UTC

Everything in moderation; including moderation.
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Postby Underscore » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:40 pm UTC

It depends on the kisser, but possibly even more so, it depends on the receiver and how much they appreciate kisses.
Personally, if it were just a moderately pretty girl, a single kiss on the cheek that is performed sufficiently cute and sweetly would be worth well more than some lousy cheeseburger.
But then, I'm not real big a burgers. Now a fried chicken burger, I think that would have to move to the lips.

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Postby Ephphatha » Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:43 am UTC

Peshmerga wrote:Everything in moderation; including moderation.
\m/

I agree with the depends on the kisser part. A cute girl, yeah you'll be able to pay me in closed mouth kisses. A guy, no thanks. Look, if I'm really drunk you can kiss me on the cheek, but thats about it.
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