I'm riding the bus into work, and after giving up my seat to a lady who is round-abouts 350 pounds, she pulls out a box of Hostess tiny cake products.
I think to myself, this angers me. Not because she is doing what she will with her life, but because I enabled her to sit down and continue her self-destructive behavior. This causes another thought to twig up.
Am I supposed to be evil, and I just missed the memo?
I've spent most of my life being "good". I've helped people I don't know, and will likely never meet again, just because I saw them in need. I've held friends who've lost loved ones, without any thought to my plans or own personal needs. I served 10 years in the military, giving up my health, happiness, and future. I've picked up injured animals, and taken them to rescues, or vets. I donate money, time, knowledge, resources...but there is still this niggling little feeling in the back of my head.
I've had opportunity after opportunity to be very, very evil. Things have thrown themselves in my path, offered me chance after chance to do the "wrong" thing without fear of reprisal or punishment, and yet I've never even considered doing them. It is only now, in retrospect, that I noticed the pattern. Because my life is not the best right now, to put it lightly, I wonder if I took the wrong path.
I don't believe in a deity. I kind of believe in spirits, in the Shinto/Taoist tradition. I certainly don't believe in predestination. But what if there is such a thing. What if I was predestined to be a great force for evil, with all of the opportunities to do wrong, and I've just taken the wrong turns. What if my life is punishment for not doing what was expected of me. What if all the cruelty, the depravity, the harm and hurt I've experienced was to train me to be evil.
I need a cookie.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper
The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.
False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!