So I'm at work... (story that involves raptors)

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Rasputin
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So I'm at work... (story that involves raptors)

Postby Rasputin » Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:56 pm UTC

I'm working the cash register at Blockbuster, and this family comes up with their movies, but the son is looking for one more movie. The daughter, who is 7 years old, is talking to me. She goes into her bag and pulls out these flash cards. The interesting part is that they all have pictures and information about different dinosaurs. My brain recalls xkcd and all the raptor fun that has ensued on the forums. She then begins picking through the pile to find her favorite dinosaur, which is, as fate would have it, the infamous velociraptor.

I asked her if she had seen Jurassic Park, and of course she has and owns all of the movies. I congratulated her and then her family was ready to leave.

I think she might be a raptor. They are watching our movies and learning our modern culture. Be wary, an attack is near!
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Master Gunner
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Postby Master Gunner » Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:01 pm UTC

She's young, we might still be able to get her. *grabs shotgun*

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evilbeanfiend
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Postby evilbeanfiend » Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:29 pm UTC

no point going for her she is the decoy, clever girl.
in ur beanz makin u eveel

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Postby miles01110 » Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:34 pm UTC

Shit, now I have to re-examine my house for smallER possible raptor entry points.

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Postby gmalivuk » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:16 pm UTC

As has been pointed out before, velociraptors are about chicken-sized. You should have already taken care of any hole big enough for this girl to fit through.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:24 pm UTC

In all seriousness, I would have definitely given her the xkcd address, even if she can't understand it.
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Postby RealGrouchy » Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:29 pm UTC

I think her parents were just preparing her for the inevitable attack.

Things to teach your child (in order):
1) Calculus (required for 2)
2) How to defend against a velociraptor attack
3) How to identify velociraptors
4) How to talk
5) Potty training (optional, because you won't have time to go to the bathroom when you shit your pants in a raptor attack)

- RG>
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Mighty Jalapeno wrote:At least he has the decency to REMOVE THE GAP BETWEEN HIS QUOTES....
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madjo
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Postby madjo » Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:48 pm UTC

miles01110 wrote:Shit, now I have to re-examine my house for smallER possible raptor entry points.
Have you barred the small window in your toilet yet?

How about that cat door? :)
:)

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lorenith
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Postby lorenith » Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:04 am UTC

gmalivuk wrote:As has been pointed out before, velociraptors are about chicken-sized. You should have already taken care of any hole big enough for this girl to fit through.


Velociraptors are a bit bigger, the chicken sized ones are compi...signothosaurs or however you spell it...

Also, raptors are made of win, you should congratulate her on liking them. >3

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bbctol
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Postby bbctol » Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:29 am UTC

lorenith wrote:Also, raptors are made of win

FLEE. IT IS A RAPTOR SPY.

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RealGrouchy
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Postby RealGrouchy » Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:06 am UTC

madjo wrote:Have you barred the small window in your toilet yet?
Now, I know the japanese have done some crazy shit (heh) with toilets before, but windows?

I would have expected them to go with a unix-based Toilet OS, to be honest. (zing again!)

- RG>
Jack Saladin wrote:etc., lock'd
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:At least he has the decency to REMOVE THE GAP BETWEEN HIS QUOTES....
Sungura wrote:I don't really miss him. At all. He was pretty grouchy.

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Postby EvanED » Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:04 am UTC

RealGrouchy wrote:
madjo wrote:Have you barred the small window in your toilet yet?
Now, I know the japanese have done some crazy shit (heh) with toilets before, but windows?

I would have expected them to go with a unix-based Toilet OS, to be honest. (zing again!)- RG>


Yeah, it would make sense to keep all the crap together. ;-)

(Note: the opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect the opinions of its author. This post is not intended to turn a raptor thread into an OS war, and the author refuses to participate in further discussion along this line, unless he really feels like it. Offer void where prohibited, and in Nevada.)

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Maseiken
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Re: So I'm at work... (story that involves raptors)

Postby Maseiken » Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:00 am UTC

Rasputin wrote:I'm working the cash register at Blockbuster, and this family comes up with their movies, but the son is looking for one more movie. The daughter, who is 7 years old, is talking to me. She goes into her bag and pulls out these flash cards. The interesting part is that they all have pictures and information about different dinosaurs. My brain recalls xkcd and all the raptor fun that has ensued on the forums. She then begins picking through the pile to find her favorite dinosaur, which is, as fate would have it, the infamous velociraptor.

I asked her if she had seen Jurassic Park, and of course she has and owns all of the movies. I congratulated her and then her family was ready to leave.

I think she might be a raptor. They are watching our movies and learning our modern culture. Be wary, an attack is near!


This is an absurd sentiment, I suggest you dispel such thoughts in favor of embracing blissful ignorance.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...


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