Homebrew Cures

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QuantumTurkey
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Homebrew Cures

Postby QuantumTurkey » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:25 pm UTC

So, as school is now fully upon most of us, we are in a lot of contact with people of questionable hygiene. I have apparently become one of those people, as I now proudly sport a fashionable cold. This thread should be for fairly simple "old-wives tales" cures for common diseases. Possibly throw in a dash of science as well. Placebo effects are welcome here! This is your chance to tell other people what to eat and drink, as well as what odd exercises to preform to relieve congestion.

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Gelsamel
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Postby Gelsamel » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:27 pm UTC

Keep your fluids up and wait....
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Postby SecondTalon » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:29 pm UTC

Take a chicken bone and bury it in the yard for a week, then dig it up and throw it away.

If this didn't cure your cold, go see a doctor.
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Postby hendusoone » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:29 pm UTC

Eat cup ramen and drink flat room temperature ginger ale. This combo got me through many college sicknesses.
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Postby TiberiusM » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:30 pm UTC

I subscribe to the orange juice treatment for preventing/diminishing colds. When I lived in dorms it seemed that whenever I stopped drinking orange juice for more than a few days, I'd catch a cold. Vitamin C maybe? I've really no idea what did it, but after chugging about a litre of orange juice after catching a cold, I'd always feel better in the next day or two.

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Postby Jesse » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:30 pm UTC

Get flat out drunk.

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Postby Gelsamel » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:33 pm UTC

Killing yourself also works.
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Postby Okita » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:35 pm UTC

I recall that flushing your nose with salt water (non-iodinized) helps. Specifically a neti pot.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neti_pot

I tried doing that last year with a cup and iodinized salt. The salt stung quite a bit but I did feel my nose clear up a bit. Or perhaps it was the placebo effect. And it was a bit messy :P

Oh, other trick for clearing sinuses. Push the bone right between your eyebrows and a bit above your nose. Also push the roof of your mouth with your tongue. Alternate. By doing so, you're wiggling the vomer bone, loosening congestion.

I dunno if that qualifies as "home brew" though...
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Postby Phenriz » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:39 pm UTC

alchemy

that is all.
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Postby ifeedlions » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:41 pm UTC

Reroll paladin?
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Postby Nyarlathotep » Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:20 pm UTC

TEA
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Postby Phenriz » Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:38 pm UTC

ifeedlions wrote:Reroll bubbledin?


lawlz

Image
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Postby Clerria » Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:39 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure the neti pot is not meant to be messy if done correctly (but I've yet to see it done by a pro)...

Whiskey, theraflu, a little water, a heavy squirt of lime and more than a reasonable serving of honey. I mean squeeze the fuck out of that bear. Heat on a stove and feel better.

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Postby Okita » Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:16 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:I'm pretty sure the neti pot is not meant to be messy if done correctly (but I've yet to see it done by a pro)...


Well I didn't have a neti pot at the time. I was just using a solo cup actually, which is why it was messy. I'm sure if you used an actual neti pot, the process is quite clean and less messy.
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:17 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:
Whiskey, whiskey, a little whiskey, a heavy squirt of whiskey and more than a reasonable serving of whiskey. Drink it all and feel better.


fix'd
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Postby Sprocket » Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:35 pm UTC

My stomach hurt yesterday because I ate too much cheese. I settled it with a swig (like a teaspoon maybe?) of gin. :-)

Meaux_Pas wrote:
Clerria wrote:
Fire Whiskey, fire whiskey, a little fire whiskey, a heavy squirt of fire whiskey and more than a reasonable serving of fire whiskey. Drink it all and feel better.


fix'd
doubly fixed.
Last edited by Sprocket on Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:39 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ifeedlions » Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:36 pm UTC

Is there anything quinine can't cure?
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:08 pm UTC

If there is, a little whiskey'll heal yer!
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Postby ifeedlions » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:16 pm UTC

English truth serum and Kentucky's great fertility drug... may they never mix.
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Postby Wilibus » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:24 pm UTC

Gin = Liquid Vinyl and certainly not a cure for anything, other than a lack of vinyl in your diet.

I do agree with the whiskey treatment though. Whenever I am feeling sick it definitely perks me up. I think it has something to do with high alcohol content sterilizing whatever bacteria in your system is causing the cold. But in any case it works and you can't argue with results.
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Postby Clerria » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:27 pm UTC

The theraflu in my... "original" recipe (to be recognized as somewhat different from the fix'd versions) is doubly helpful.

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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:31 pm UTC

Wilibus wrote:Gin = Liquid Vinyl and certainly not a cure for anything, other than a lack of vinyl in your diet.

I do agree with the whiskey treatment though. Whenever I am feeling sick it definitely perks me up. I think it has something to do with high alcohol content sterilizing whatever bacteria in your system is causing the cold. But in any case it works and you can't argue with results.


I just like being able to sound like Mother Grandma.

"She looks like a dead person... Have some whiskey, honey! It makes you feel better!"
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Postby zenten » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:36 pm UTC

Have a shower.

If that doesn't work, clean your room.

If that doesn't work, have some campbell's chicken soup, and sleep a lot.

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Postby Clerria » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:37 pm UTC

you and your sensible advice

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Postby Wilibus » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:37 pm UTC

My grandmother always tries to feed me cranberry juice and brandy.

She calls it "Grannies Juice" not a terribly tasting either for that matter, I cannot speak on it's medical applications, use whiskey instead.
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Postby McLurker » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:42 pm UTC

Sleep. Spending more time in bed is the best cure for a cold.

That and whisky (note the lack of an "e").

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Postby Wilibus » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:48 pm UTC

Whiskey > Whisky

As Ireland is pretty much the premier country for anything alcohol related in my opinion. With Canada coming in as a close second.
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Postby Forthur » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:49 pm UTC

Drinking a lot of water and tea will help you feel better; remember that drinking alcoholic stuff will use up valuable fluids you'd rather be using to battle your illness. Honey (nature's energy booster) and sleep is a sensible combination. Oh, and ginger (or ginger candy) is great for upset stomachs and intestinal cramps. The Mythbusters proved its effect on nausea.

Some people around here also use camilla steam baths, but it never did me much good.
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Postby Vekter » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:56 pm UTC

Phenriz wrote:Image


Rofl

I subscribe to the old OJ cure. Or just enbibe countless packs of Ramen. That always works.
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Postby zenten » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:57 pm UTC

Wilibus wrote:Whiskey > Whisky

As Ireland is pretty much the premier country for anything alcohol related in my opinion. With Canada coming in as a close second.


Please don't tell me that Crown Royal tastes good.

As to Irish versus American Whisk(e)y, they're not the same thing at all, and serve different purposes. You'd never mix Irish Whiskey with coke, right?

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Postby Wilibus » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:06 pm UTC

I'm primarily a beer drinker which is why I rank Canada so high.

Though I have no real issues with Crown Royal, kind of sweet for my taste though. Usually I drink Jamieson with ice.
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Postby ifeedlions » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:08 pm UTC

Ireland fails at alcohol production for one reason: Their major product for ages was potatoes... yet it was the Russians who created vodka.
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Postby Thunderbird4! » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:15 pm UTC

Anyone happen to have any ideas for helping with a virus that I've had for the last two days? My throat is sore and swollen, nose is nearly if not completely clogged, and I simply can not sleep for more than a few hours. I've also been to the doctor's to make sure it isn't Strep Throat. At the moment I'm just going for Tylenol, tea with honey and chicken noodle soup.
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Postby Phenriz » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:16 pm UTC

see, that's all russia has, is vodka.

Ireland has great beers and whiskey, plus potatoes are better for eatin' than drinkin'. (irish heritage represent!)

Thunderbird4! wrote:Anyone happen to have any ideas for helping with a virus that I've had for the last two days? My throat is sore and swollen, nose is nearly if not completely clogged, and I simply can not sleep for more than a few hours. I've also been to the doctor's to make sure it isn't Strep Throat. At the moment I'm just going for Tylenol, tea with honey and chicken noodle soup.


depends, do you need to be coherent/conscious for any particular reason for the next day or so?
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Postby LoonRadio » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:46 pm UTC

Hold your head under water until your heart stops beating.
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Postby Okita » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:51 pm UTC

The common cold is self-limiting and eventually the body creates the antibodies to fight it off.

I have a personal theory that the more fluids you drink, the faster the healing process as your body flushes out more of the bacteria, lessening effects. But it's important to make sure you're getting all the nutrients you need because you're effectively urinating it all out due to fighting off the illness, increased liquid intake, and the diuretics if you happen to be following the tea/coffee/vodka route.
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Postby Phenriz » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:51 pm UTC

also an option but not preferable if you want to actually continue to live past your ailment.

Thundrbird, gargle with copious amounts of salt mixed with water. (warm water so you can dissolve as much salt as possible)

Tylenol doesn't do anything for me, i take naproxen based tablets.

Also, yogurt, and make sure you're taking a daily multivitamin.
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Postby Sprocket » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:52 pm UTC

zenten wrote:Have a shower.

If that doesn't work, clean your room.

If that doesn't work, have some campbell's chicken soup, and sleep a lot.

A nice hot shower that drains your sinus pasageways...ahhhh.
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Postby Cassi » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:53 pm UTC

I drink a lot of water (and I mean a lot -- I drink more than most people under normal circumstances, and when I'm ill this about doubles) and sleep as much as I can. This tends to make me feel slightly more miserable at first, but does seem to clear things up faster than they'd go otherwise...


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