Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

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Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby 30>Length(Name)>3 » Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:36 pm UTC

I think that I hold Randall responsible for the appearance of scatter plots like the one here:

https://www.latimes.com/food/la-fo-fren ... story.html

Just saying.

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:34 pm UTC

From a UK perspective, all 'French Fries' are vastly inferior to the average chip. Proper "Fish'n'" chips (though there's a lot of variation, given they're fried per-"chippy" or café or whatavyer), that should be firm yet 'juicy', not too oily and yet far from crisp (unlike batter-scraps) and not too high a ratio between cross-section and length.

Regarding the three types in that plot that I can speak of:
1) McD's - switch with Burger King. Never mind if hot or not, the texture is just not right. Flavour is… do 'fries' have flavour, other than the salt they may or may not overdose them with? IME, though, local McD's (last sampled maybe a year ago) are blander than local the BK version. Or oversalted, but I think that was notably changed a decade and a half ago.
2) BK - in moving them to where their golden-arches kin were, it's still only relative. Palettable, and one of my reasons to prefer the King to the Clown, sampling maybe once or twice a month in the same span of a year. (The other being the burgers themselves, at least once you get past the most basic ham/cheeseburger and start into the bacon/etc ingedients*.)
3) KFC - famously awful fries, here in the UK, so I'm more in agreement with the plot on this one. Soggy in a way fries shouldn't be, and not even in the good way that chips are, while still being typically fry-proportions (unlike the wedge-ish picture given on that scatter) and largely taste-negative. Invariably cooled to luke-warm or worse, too, even freshly sampled upon purchase. Last sampled two, maybe three years ago, but since then they revised things (so I recall mention of, it making the news) and so maybe all these failings are corrected now, but I also always prefered a BK chicken-royale/whatever to the Colonel's equivalents.

Later this week I'll have a resample at KFC (I'd normally pop into a Subway next door, in the place I'll be then, but as I'm in one today I had already decided that this (footlong) is my ration of Subs for the week, get a Zinger and fries. Just to keep my experience updated. I can probably squeeze a Mc-something-or-other in next week, too, without going overboard.

And, at the weekend:
Spoiler:
Image




* And whose bright idea was it to apportion the advertising board on a bus-shelter outside a mosque, that I sometimes alight at, with McD's latest "Big Macs Now With Bacon" promotion. Doesn't bother me, being a consumer neither of Big Macs nor Islam (though I'm currently sat in a Subway with Halal options, just because it's handy, leaving me slightly more uncomfortable about the slaughtering regime relied on here than in a different Subway not half a mile away), but given the predominant demographics of the footfall there, you'd think there'd be at least be a geolocation database at the poster-location agency that would edge swine-based stuff away to alternate sites.

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby EdgarJPublius » Thu Feb 14, 2019 5:32 pm UTC

I quite like the flavor of Popeyes fries. The texture does leave a bit to be desired, but every once in a while they come out just a bit crisper than usual and it's close to perfection.

I'm not sure how Mayfield Dairy Queen's compare to the rest these days, but the one near me used to have these fantastic thick cut fries until sometime last year when they switched to a vastly inferior, thinner, cut more comparable to other fast-food fries.

There's a couple of non-fast-food places near me that do really good battered fries which I enjoy a lot.
But the best fries sadly no longer exist as the little diner that served the most perfectly fried and seasoned curly fries I've ever tasted burned down a few years back.
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby LaserGuy » Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:14 pm UTC

I feel like that plot must have been paid for by McDonald's. There's no way their fries should be even close to the top in either taste or texture.

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Feb 15, 2019 2:30 am UTC

Agreed.

Now, Taco Bell Nacho Fries. Discuss.

(And Jack in the Box is only good for curly fries).
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby sardia » Fri Feb 15, 2019 3:29 pm UTC

LaserGuy wrote:I feel like that plot must have been paid for by McDonald's. There's no way their fries should be even close to the top in either taste or texture.

McDonald's has a good system for a consistent French fry. That said, I would dig into the setup for how they tasted fries. I thought I read some bullshit about eating Lukewarm fries. Aka they weren't eating fries fresh from the restaurant, instead letting them stale on the ride back to the office. There's a world of difference that a20 minute car ride makes for consuming certain foods. It's why I would never eat certain types of delivered food. (Pizza yes, paninis no).

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:13 pm UTC

Anything that puts McDonalds on the high end of taste/texture and Rally's on the low end is either pandering, an ad written by and for McDonalds, or the author being unaware they are actually a lizard.

Because McDonald's Fries - even when fresh out of the fryer - are fucking garbage barely above Wendy's tasteless pieces of potato shit. And Rally's are ... look, I'm not going to say they're the best thing ever, but my god - they're a positive in both metrics.

Either that, or Kentucky is the only place with Rally's operated by people who give a damn.

soupspoon wrote:3) KFC - famously awful fries, here in the UK,


I still have no idea why the fuck y'all's KFCs serve fries. Y'all know what a biscuit is, even if you make them weird and call them scones.

That's like going to Starbucks and expecting them to have good chicken tenders. And for some weird reason, they are making them. And they're just as awful as you'd expect them to be.
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:49 pm UTC

Biscuit: From francophone "Twice cooked", though I'm not sure they are that much, these days. Biscuit, biscuit, biscuit, biscuit, biscuit, sort of a biscuit, nice biscuit, dead-fly biscuit, not a biscuit.

(Never mind crackers ("water biscuits" and others), rusks, etc.)

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Giant Speck » Sun Feb 17, 2019 10:01 am UTC

I'm a little weirded out that someone would rank Del Taco's fries so highly. They're a very average crinkle fry. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a remarkable crinkle fry at a fast food chain before--Del Taco, Culver's, Raising Cane's, Habit Burger. They all taste the same to me.

If I had to rank the fries that are listed in the article, it'd be something like this:

1. Arby's (natural cut, not curly)
2. Chick-fil-A
3. Five Guys
4. Carl's Jr. or Wendy's (both taste about the same to me)
5. McDonald's
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Sungura » Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:38 am UTC

1. Bojangles
2. Arbys
3. Chickfila(i dont eat there anymore but why does no one else make waffle fries? And their polynesian sauce is awesome)
4. Steak n Shake
5. McDonalds

(Not making top 5: five guys, dq, burger king, wendys, Popeyes, red robin)

If we can include sweet potatoe fries, then Red Robin sweet potato take first

Also not included as I feel class of their own - chippies in the UK. I love a few spots on the Barbican in Plymouth. But because you pick what you put on them and theyre so highly customised thats like comparing a chicken and egg. Sure theyre related but the taste is nothing alike.

As to nothing mcdonalds good, i love their fresh chicken nuggets and their double cheesburger is also great. They get such a bad rep. I remember reading about how the double cheesburger is actually the cheapest best food you can get if poor, the fat/protein/carbs is decently balanced and i mean its only $1. I ate them a lot when poor because i couldnt stomach ramen that often. The food balance is way better than just rice or noodles.
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:42 pm UTC

Backyard Burgers has waffle fries. I have not heard anything reprehensible about their owners either.

You don't mind driving to the far side of Birmingham for waffle fries, do you?
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Sungura » Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:06 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Backyard Burgers has waffle fries. I have not heard anything reprehensible about their owners either.

You don't mind driving to the far side of Birmingham for waffle fries, do you?

Im in Bham sometimes so ill keep that in mind. I think we are getting one in rocket city too; there are two new shopping centers going in and we are getting some good stuff. Like an REI and a Deluth Trading Co. I think I heard we are getting a BB too.

I realise almost all companies have something or someone bad. Chickfila just really made waves about it here. I know my lack of $10 every few months does nothing but just one those things i wont eat there by choice. Same with hobby lobby. Fuck hobby lobby.
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby Ranbot » Fri Feb 22, 2019 6:57 pm UTC

I always prefer a good crispy fry... steak or waffle fries will never do. 5-Guys type of fry for me or a crispy curly fry like Arby's... but at most places I pass on the fries...just not worth it.
Giant Speck wrote:I'm a little weirded out that someone would rank Del Taco's fries so highly. They're a very average crinkle fry.

I'm a little weirded out anyone would rank a crinkle fry highly. There's never been a good crinkle fry. It's one of those products that's so cheaply mass-produced there's not even an attempt for it to resemble of the original food. A crinkle fry is to potatoes like a fruit roll-up is to fruit, or a fish-stick is to fish.

Sungura wrote:As to nothing mcdonalds good... They get such a bad rep...

Egg McMuffin. They are actually really good... real eggs, cooked fresh on the griddle, muffin/cheese/meat are OK, exactly what you would expect. Oh, it's on the dollar menu... hell yes! If you want a breakfast sandwich, there's a ton of places that serve you something with one or more of the following: pre-made/packaged frozen, "egg" with added soy fillers (which cook into a tasteless yellow sponge), and/or microwaved... and they will charge you 2-5 times what McDs does. You can do much worse than a McMuffin. It is the only reason I go to McDs (occasionally).

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby freezeblade » Fri Feb 22, 2019 7:49 pm UTC

Am I the only one who likes In-n-out fries?

Ok, I have a caveat though: They are only good if you have them super-fresh and hot. even 15 mins can mean the difference between tasty fries and terrible hot potato sticks.
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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby sardia » Fri Feb 22, 2019 9:02 pm UTC

freezeblade wrote:Am I the only one who likes In-n-out fries?

Ok, I have a caveat though: They are only good if you have them super-fresh and hot. even 15 mins can mean the difference between tasty fries and terrible hot potato sticks.

None of the fries in this are fresh. It's all judged after sitting around a table. Fresh fries are a big improvement over fancy cold food.

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Re: Definitive rankings of -- french fries?

Postby pogrmman » Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:30 pm UTC

freezeblade wrote:Am I the only one who likes In-n-out fries?

Ok, I have a caveat though: They are only good if you have them super-fresh and hot. even 15 mins can mean the difference between tasty fries and terrible hot potato sticks.

You’re right that they’re good when they’re fresh.

I’ve never understood why people like McDonald’s fries. They’ve got this nasty chemical taste to them. Sure, they’re crispy and that’s good, but they taste awful.

I’ve got a funny story about McDonalds fries. I was once visiting Anchorage, AK with my family. We had a rental car — an suv of some kind. As soon as we got into it, we noticed it smelled like fries. We thought it was just someone having eaten fries before returning it, so we rolled down the windows to let it air out and drove along. We got to the hotel, the car mostly had no fry smell, so we parked and closed the windows. The next opening, we get back into the car, and it smells like fries even more strongly. We look around and in the glove compartment, and think the smell is just baked in. We started calling it “the fry wagon”. This went on for the whole week we were there. When we go to return the car, we start checking for our belongings. We open the center console, and there are two jumbo containers of McDonald’s fries sitting inside! The fries looked like they’d just come straight out of the fryer, but they’d been sitting in there for at least a week — in the summer (admittedly Alaska, so only like 65° at day, but still). We got out of the car but left the console open. Who knows how many prior renters had had the fry wagon without realizing where the smell was from!

That kinda turned me off of McDonald’s fries even more than I’d been before...


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