Making the world a weirder place

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Kang
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Kang » Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:34 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:I was sitting at the bus stop today waiting for the bus to arrive. Since I was bored, I started recounting the entirety of the Gettysburg address. No one else was at the bus stop waiting, but many people walked past. I corrected the time from four score, and otherwise left the whole thing intact. Almost every person who walked past stopped and listened with this dumbstruck look on their face. I was gesturing, using facial expressions, giving emotion to the words, the whole kit and caboodle.

After I finished one of the readthroughs (I ran through it multiple times) someone asked me if I wrote that. I said "Yes, ma'am. I happen to be Abraham Lincoln."

"Oh, like the president who fought in the Revolutionary War!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh that's nice! It is so good that your parents would honor the first president."

<Poker Face>

Another man gave me a five dollar bill, smiled, and said that he wishes his AP History students would be so random. I asked him if he understood the irony of giving me a five. He nodded and said that it was intentional.

Some people are cool. Others worry me.

A few months back somebody from a local radio station dressed up as Karl Marx and recited from 'Capital' on a makeshift stage in front of a defunct bank. Even though he nearly choked on the fake beard more than once he managed to attract quite a crowd with a similar mix of people, ranging from 'lauding the history education value' via 'enjoying the irony of having that in front of a defunct bank' right to 'I do not know who that bearded fellow is, but it sure sounds great. We should revolt and establish a state founded on this'.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:36 pm UTC

Wow, that is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, I can't say that I would've recognized the speech if I'd happened along in the middle. Should probably go review that.

A while ago, a local Flying Spaghetti Monster group staged a counter-rally to the hellfire Christians on campus. Mostly they just dressed up as pirates, flew flags, and conducted solemn readings from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. More people should recite from Douglas Adams' work.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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styrofoam
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby styrofoam » Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:33 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:After I finished one of the readthroughs (I ran through it multiple times) someone asked me if I wrote that. I said "Yes, ma'am. I happen to be Abraham Lincoln."

"Oh, like the president who fought in the Revolutionary War!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh that's nice! It is so good that your parents would honor the first president."

<Poker Face>

:cry:
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:34 pm UTC

Trust me styrofoam, I was dying inside. I just didn't have the heart to embarass her.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Giant Speck » Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:13 am UTC

Oregonaut wrote:Trust me styrofoam, I was dying inside. I just didn't have the heart to embarass her.

I don't think I could bear not embarrassing her.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby styrofoam » Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:54 am UTC

Giant Speck wrote:
Oregonaut wrote:Trust me styrofoam, I was dying inside. I just didn't have the heart to embarass her.

I don't think I could bear not embarrassing her.

Actually, yeah. Letting her go out into the world thinking that is worse than pointing it out in front of everybody. Of course, that's an immediate vs. latent problem, and emotions aren't very good at dealing with the latter.
aadams wrote:I am a very nice whatever it is I am.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Thesh » Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:55 am UTC

I went furniture shopping with a friend a little less than a couple years ago, and when I sat on a couch I would give it a rating on how comfortable it was. However, to confuse the hell out of the salesmen, I did the rating on a scale of 8-13, 8 being the least comfortable. So when I said I gave it a 10, the salesman perked up... Until we explained the rating system.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Walter.Horvath » Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:17 am UTC

In a line at walmart tonight my mom was pretty mad about me missing an interview:

Mom: That's terrible, you can't do that, not even once!
Me: ALL IT WAS WAS HEROIN GOSH

I wish there were such things as audible sarcasm tags ;)

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby chridd » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:25 am UTC

Walter.Horvath wrote:I wish there were such things as audible sarcasm tags ;)
I have occasionally said the word "sarcasm" after making a sarcastic comment (when speaking).
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:54 am UTC

I tend to make a wide eyed open mouth joker smile when I'm being sarcastic.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Cnvvj » Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:53 am UTC

For about three months I wondered if there is a limit to how many extra patties and cheese you can get on a mcdonalds burger.

A month ago, I found out you could have loads of 'em if you so wished.
Life has issued me a challenge of the ultimate Big Mac, and I must accept!

If I follow through, I'll try to remember to take pictures.

Another thing my sister did at school today was walk to her class coming back from the bathroom during silent reading, and she walked into class yelling "VOOP VOOP VOOP VOOP VOOP VOOP VOOP!"

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby i_ll_winn » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:25 am UTC

Bob Dylan's 'The Time They are A-Changin' would be a great song to recite as well as all the speeches mentioned earlier. But what I have always wanted to do was to completely seriously and dryly say the lyrics to a completely silly song, like 'who put the bomp.'
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Felstaff » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:30 am UTC

Draw terrified faces on every piece of fruit in the office/communal fridge.

Photos to come later.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Promicin » Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:19 pm UTC

'Twould be fun to only speak in song titles.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Whelan » Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:30 pm UTC

Felstaff wrote:Draw terrified faces on every piece of fruit in the office/communal fridge.

Photos to come later.

I drew faces on the eggs once. Came back a day or two later to find mum had poached Batman. She didn't ever mention the faces to me.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:09 pm UTC

Cnvvj wrote:For about three months I wondered if there is a limit to how many extra patties and cheese you can get on a mcdonalds burger.

A month ago, I found out you could have loads of 'em if you so wished.
Life has issued me a challenge of the ultimate Big Mac, and I must accept!

If I follow through, I'll try to remember to take pictures.

The 100 x 100 In 'N Out Burger

No worries, you should try yours out, though. Definitely pictures!
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:29 pm UTC

Back in High School, we took something from each restaurant on the main "highway" where I lived, between the major avenue on the east and the major avenue on the west and put it together in a sandwich.

Five pizzas (Little Caesar's, Red Roof, Pizza Hut, Domino's, Nonna Emilia's), each with cheese and one topping.
20 chicken nuggets from McDonald's.
3/4 lb triple stack from Freckle Bitches.
10 piece biscuits from KFC.
Bucket o' Fries from Burgerville.
20 chicken nuggets from Burger King.
10 piece soft taco meal from Taco Bell.
Bacon double cheeseburger from DQ.
Foot long meatball marinara sandwich from Subway.
5 sandwiches for 5 dollars from Arby's.
5 hot dogs for 5 dollars from A&W.
Bento bowl from Best Teriyaki.

We slapped it all together, then ate it in public at a local park. If someone came up and asked for some, we cut them off a "slice". Good times.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:31 pm UTC

Jesus, Oregonaut. (Oregonaut, Jesus) I just had a heart attack reading that list.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:43 pm UTC

The workout the next day was...lively. Of course, 3/4 of my friends couldn't do much that evening due to massive stomach problems, the pansies. But the workout the next day was epic. We had something like 10x the normal reps, the suicides alone would inspire bardic retellings. The standard lady-folk who came out to watch their boyfriends run and play were egging us on to greater heights. I was singing the various songs from Alice in Wonderland the entire time.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby El Spark » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:49 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Next week I'm planning on gathering the minions in HvZ and staging a zombie rights protest on campus. Zombies Are Humans Too! Er...Sort Of.


"What do we want?"

"Braaaaaaains..."

"When do we want it?"

"...braaaaaaains."
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:53 pm UTC

Well, I set up the event and the players are starting to run away with the idea. They're talking about setting up two tables facing each other at Speaker's Circle, one pro-human and one pro-zombie, banners, posters, fliers, the works. The zombies are going to have pro-Zombie slogans blaring on a boombox, the humans are going to be dressed up as 1950s vets complete with cigars. It's gonna be awesome.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Kang
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Kang » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:54 pm UTC

i_ll_winn wrote:Bob Dylan's 'The Time They are A-Changin' would be a great song to recite as well as all the speeches mentioned earlier. But what I have always wanted to do was to completely seriously and dryly say the lyrics to a completely silly song, like 'who put the bomp.'

With some songs it's quite amazing how long you can keep going before anyone even noticed that it's a song. Bonus points if you stay out of the actual rhythm.

the humans are going to be dressed up as 1950s vets complete with cigars

Now that one just made me think: «Are you or have you ever been a member of the zombie horde?»

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:55 pm UTC

Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Cnvvj » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:23 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:
Cnvvj wrote:For about three months I wondered if there is a limit to how many extra patties and cheese you can get on a mcdonalds burger.

A month ago, I found out you could have loads of 'em if you so wished.
Life has issued me a challenge of the ultimate Big Mac, and I must accept!

If I follow through, I'll try to remember to take pictures.

The 100 x 100 In 'N Out Burger

No worries, you should try yours out, though. Definitely pictures!


Bawwwwwwwwwww.

Well, maybe I'll try a 20 patty solo run.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:39 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!
Better Zed than Dead!

Not "dead." Living challenged.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:42 pm UTC

So better zombie than zombie? I was doing a pro-Zed (zombie) chant.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:43 pm UTC

Cnvvj wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:
Cnvvj wrote:For about three months I wondered if there is a limit to how many extra patties and cheese you can get on a mcdonalds burger.

A month ago, I found out you could have loads of 'em if you so wished.
Life has issued me a challenge of the ultimate Big Mac, and I must accept!

If I follow through, I'll try to remember to take pictures.

The 100 x 100 In 'N Out Burger

No worries, you should try yours out, though. Definitely pictures!


Bawwwwwwwwwww.

Well, maybe I'll try a 20 patty solo run.
For more ideas, try watching Man vs. Food sometime.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:48 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:So better zombie than zombie? I was doing a pro-Zed (zombie) chant.

I know. But you have to keep up with the times. Dead is now un-PC.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Cnvvj » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:51 pm UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:
Cnvvj wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:
Cnvvj wrote:
Spoiler:
For about three months I wondered if there is a limit to how many extra patties and cheese you can get on a mcdonalds burger.

A month ago, I found out you could have loads of 'em if you so wished.
Life has issued me a challenge of the ultimate Big Mac, and I must accept!

If I follow through, I'll try to remember to take pictures.

The 100 x 100 In 'N Out Burger

No worries, you should try yours out, though. Definitely pictures!


Bawwwwwwwwwww.

Well, maybe I'll try a 20 patty solo run.
For more ideas, try watching Man vs. Food sometime.


I'll check it out after my english exam today.
The only food related documentary I've seen was "Supersize Me!"

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:51 pm UTC

Mac is Dead?
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:54 pm UTC

Cnvvj wrote:
pseudoidiot wrote:For more ideas, try watching Man vs. Food sometime.


I'll check it out after my english exam today.
The only food related documentary I've seen was "Supersize Me!"
Well, it's not a documentary, really. It's a show about a guy that goes around trying different foods from all over. Each episode ends with some sort of eating challenge.
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:01 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:Mac is Dead?

The Basic Human Decency police are coming to get you.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:05 pm UTC

They won't be the first, nor the best. They also won't have any more luck than the rest.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:36 pm UTC

What about the fashion police?
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:37 pm UTC

Love, I run the local Fashion Police.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:39 pm UTC

With your pink ties and tan shirts? You don't understand skinny jeans, though.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 8:47 pm UTC

That's because skinny jeans are a crime against humanity. They turn boys into girls against their will (nothing wrong with a boy becoming a girl by choice, but those things do things to men's testicles that should never occur outside of S&M fetishes), and turn girls into DVT victims waiting to happen. Not to mention the muffin-top-action that happens when most women who *want* to wear skinny jeans should *not* wear skinny jeans.

I am, today, wearing a black shirt with silver, thin-pinstripe threading, a purple tie with black and white off-set tessellation accents, black dress-cuff iron-pressed slacks, a black braided leather belt, and rockfort dress shoes. I look, and feel, like I am in charge of myself and everyone around me.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:07 pm UTC

...remind me to never, ever, ever show you my closet.

Mostly I wear clothes that my best friend gives me or makes me buy during one of her spasms of pity for the terminally fashion-challenged (i.e., me). But I do know that I wear a size 1 jean at Old Navy, and skinny jeans are actually pretty comfy on me.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Oregonaut » Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:12 pm UTC

But PBD, it isn't your closet that I wish to see. 8)

It's the clothes in it. :lol:

I'm sure that your friend is dressing you in what she thinks is best. Skinny jeans can work on some people, if you are slender of frame, they can be perfect. A nice peasant blouse, or a baby-doll cut t-shirt can wonderfully accent a slender frame. It just looks atrocious on people who have an over-inflated sense of their personal fitness. (I'm not saying that women who have more plush to them can't do the same look, just that if you're visiting the bariatric clinic regularly, you may want to avoid them.)
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Making the world a weirder place

Postby Whelan » Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:17 pm UTC

Thank you for teaching me the word bariatric. Or rather, using it so that I had to go look it up.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
Weeks wrote:
TaintedDeity wrote:And all I get is this tame space dragon. Where's my recognition?!
A tame dragon is its own reward.


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