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Possible endings for Harry Potter 7

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:42 pm UTC
by SpitValve
1. Harry & Ron explore the deepest basement of Hogwarts... sticking out of the sand, they discover the head of the Statue of Liberty.

It turns out IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG!


2. POLYJUICE POTION IS PEOPLE!

3. Harry has split personality disorder. It turns out HARRY AND RON ARE THE SAME PERSON!

4. Harry was a ghost all along.

5. Voldemort reveals he is Harry's father

6. Harry discovers he is Darth Revan


Any others?

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:54 pm UTC
by Peshmerga
I'm hoping Harry, Hermoine, and those chicks with the blue hats from the 4th movie all gather to an exotic place in the castle and start having an epic orgy.


Personally, I honestly believe JK Rowling, in her posh attitude towards everything non-British, will advent a muggle President named George W. Cush. He will wage war against the magic portion of the Earth and there will be guns and wands clashing!

Oh noes.

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:07 pm UTC
by Oort
Harry moves to Cleveland to defend it from evil.

An attack on Voldemort activates the bombs. He always loved surprises.

Harry and Ron sail into the sunset to see the house elves.

It turns out it was all a dream, and Harry is still living with his family of hicks.
In case it was hard to tell, I was referring to the movies/tv shows Buffy, Dr. Strangelove, Lord of the Rings and the Wizard of Oz.

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:07 pm UTC
by aisling
I think that Voldemort might kill Harry, and then Harry will be avenged, or the other way around. More likely Harry will kill Voldemort I think. Because it would make for a better story.

Oh! Oh! Brainstorm. What if - Harry is the last Horcrux. He's gonna kill Voldemort, but then it'll be like "Oh noes, Voldemort's still alive because there's still a horcrux" and then Harry will find out it's himself and then he has to kill himself to kill Voldemort once and for all. That wasn't so much a brainstorm as much as a memory of a conversation I once had with some girl at a party... but that doesn't matter so much.

Man. I go to a party and all I end up doing is discussing Harry Potter :(

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:49 pm UTC
by Twasbrillig
Dude guy. In all seriousnessosity, these are the horcruxes (in my opinion):

1. The Diary

2. The Ring (TO RULE THEM ALL)

3. Slytherin's Locket (already destroyed by REGULUS ANDROMEDA [yes. twist!] BLACK. He's now posing as a death eater, a new one, using some sort of polyjuice potion/spell or whatever, a REALLY powerful one. The locket could also be at 12 Grimmauld Place... they mentioned a locket nobody could open.)

4. Hufflepuff's dealie

5. Ravenclaw's dealie (not discovered yet)

6. Either Nagini or Fawkes (Zomg plot twist! How the frizzle do you kill Fawkes?! Also, Fawkes flew away so now what!?)

7. Voldemort himself

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:33 am UTC
by hyperion
aisling wrote:Oh! Oh! Brainstorm. What if - Harry is the last Horcrux. He's gonna kill Voldemort, but then it'll be like "Oh noes, Voldemort's still alive because there's still a horcrux" and then Harry will find out it's himself and then he has to kill himself to kill Voldemort once and for all.

I think that might be it. In one of the books it said that the scar had part of voldemorts soul in it, right?

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:54 am UTC
by fjafjan
HYPERiON wrote:
aisling wrote:Oh! Oh! Brainstorm. What if - Harry is the last Horcrux. He's gonna kill Voldemort, but then it'll be like "Oh noes, Voldemort's still alive because there's still a horcrux" and then Harry will find out it's himself and then he has to kill himself to kill Voldemort once and for all.

I think that might be it. In one of the books it said that the scar had part of voldemorts soul in it, right?


That's totally It

INFACT!

I bet he has Malfoy (he obviously turns good) do it

It will be a perfect twist

And as another person said in another forum

If snape is actually evil I fucking disown that series

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:14 am UTC
by Jack Saladin
I don't care as long as it involves Harry turning evil and Hermione turning naked.

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:49 am UTC
by Twasbrillig
Did anyone actually read my post?!!!

There's no freakin' way Harry is the last Horcrux. THEY EVEN SAID THAT.

Dumbledore said something about it in book 6, I'm sure of it. Either he already had 7 or he couldn't - I remember thinking Harry was one after the first read-through, but changing my mind after the second.

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:19 pm UTC
by wmoonw
Judging by the trend thus far, every character we ever met will die :-P

Also, Aunt Petunia will turn out to have been Lord Voldemort all along.

Well, alright, maybe not :lol:

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:24 pm UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
Dumbledore left the penseive thing.

Whether this is related or not is subjective.

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:10 am UTC
by Narsil
wmoonw wrote:Judging by the trend thus far, every character we ever met will die :-P

Also, Aunt Petunia will turn out to have been Lord Voldemort all along.

Well, alright, maybe not :lol:
Aunt Petunia will eat Lord Voldemort, if anything.

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:17 am UTC
by Jack Saladin
If anything, Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard to ever walk the earth, will be defeated by a bunch of school children. Again.

I can't believe anyone over the age of 8 reads this shit.

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:19 am UTC
by Peshmerga
Saladin wrote:If anything, Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard to ever walk the earth, will be defeated by a bunch of school children. Again.

I can't believe anyone over the age of 8 reads this shit.


But... but he's Harry Potter! He has spirit! Or something.

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:31 am UTC
by Jack Saladin
And that's another thing - I thought he was supposed to be Harry Motherfucking Potter. The Dude Who Survived, and so forth. He certainly was for the first book. Why is it in every book after that, everyone suspects him of being evil, only to be proven wrong? And then, the next year, suspect him again? Don't these people learn?

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:37 am UTC
by Twasbrillig
He has the power of HEART.

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:48 am UTC
by LE4dGOLEM

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:37 am UTC
by SpitValve
It turns out the final horcrux... is LOVE

Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 6:50 am UTC
by hyperion
SpitValve wrote:It turns out the final horcrux... is LOVE

oh god it'd better not be something that gay (sorry - no better word)

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:46 am UTC
by German Sausage
how could he destroy love?
beat up hermione perhaps?
confess his raptor sympathies?

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 7:11 am UTC
by hermaj
He can't, so the world stays whatever the hell it is at the moment. But with more fish.

When does the book come out, even? Is it going to be a year later than what it was supposed to be, like the 5th one? :x

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:17 pm UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
I'd put money on Death at or near Harry. Either Him dying, or him definitively killing someone (All those times he killed Big V don't count)

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:59 pm UTC
by Grincement
Harry has to die (he's betrayed by his girlfriend) so there can't be any more books...but Voldemort will die as well...

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:21 pm UTC
by starvingartist
But if Harry dies, that's just such a sh*tty ending. Unless he's like Jean Grey coming back as the Phoenix.

Voila! He rises from the dead, and now he's HAROLD POTTER!!!

or H. Potty if he's taking a Sean Combs (P. Diddy) approach to name evolution.

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:34 pm UTC
by Grincement
starvingartist wrote:But if Harry dies, that's just such a sh*tty ending. Unless he's like Jean Grey coming back as the Phoenix.

Voila! He rises from the dead, and now he's HAROLD POTTER!!!

or H. Potty if he's taking a Sean Combs (P. Diddy) approach to name evolution.


But then what happens next? All he's done for the past 6years of his life was to defeat voldermort in some way or another, if he finally defeats him does he just go on to lead an ordinary life. *Visions of harry potter in celebrity big brother*

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:40 pm UTC
by starvingartist
Pretty much. I see him taking a Britney Spears-esque approach. Ruining his image. Getting caught doing black magic. Finding ways to get media attention in some sad attempt to stay on the headlines.

"Harry Crashes Broom after Drunken Night w/Paris Hilton!"

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:25 pm UTC
by fjafjan
She has been assimilated!
Resistance was futile...

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:26 pm UTC
by starvingartist



*click*

i mean *accidental click*

Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:32 pm UTC
by xnull
Well the kid who plays Harry Potter in the movies did do a nude scene in Equus, so I'm sure it won't take long for someone to edit him into the Paris and Tommy video.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:11 am UTC
by aisling
On topic here, today I was perusing the interwebs and found http://www.mugglenet.com which has an entire section on theories for the 7th book. It's pretty interesting. So far all I've read is the "Harry Potter IS a horcrux" theory as well as the Changeling Hypothesis, which is linked to within that editorial. If you have nothing better to do, honestly, it's an interesting collection of theories.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 7:42 am UTC
by starvingartist
Ha ha, I just noticed that Squeaks post with the "porn" link was deleted. It was just a joke. I've heard of .org, but never .orgy :lol:

Or am I completely wrong and she was in fact taken over by a spam bot? Oh no! Who could be next?! Help us Harry Potter! Help us!

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:27 am UTC
by Grincement
starvingartist wrote:Ha ha, I just noticed that Squeaks post with the "porn" link was deleted. It was just a joke. I've heard of .org, but never .orgy :lol:

Or am I completely wrong and she was in fact taken over by a spam bot? Oh no! Who could be next?! Help us Harry Potter! Help us!


*shifty eyes* I'm Squeak, honest!

Oh and while I'm here, guys if you want to impress your lady friend you should try this revolutionary new medication...


Back on topic: I still can't believe Snape is evil...maybe dumbledore was (is)

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:21 pm UTC
by German Sausage
maybe dumbeldore will come back from the dead
AS A ZOMBIE

*ominous music, leading to crescendo*

come on, wouldn't zombie movies and magic go together?
wouldn't zombies and everything?

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 7:49 pm UTC
by Tractor
German Sausage wrote:maybe dumbeldore will come back from the dead
AS A ZOMBIE


That must be it! He will come back from the dead, use his new phenomenal cosmic undead powers to kill everyone at Hogwarts, and bring them back for a giant undead orgy!

Everybody wins!
...or loses...I forget what the final score ends up being once you throw in zombie sex.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:00 pm UTC
by aisling
There's a theory on that Mugglenet website that Voldemort is actually a huge red herring, and in the end Snape will be the big evil guy. But not in the sense that Voldemort is evil. Snape isn't working for Dumbledore OR Voldemort, everything he's doing is to benefit himself.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:56 pm UTC
by hermaj
Tractor wrote:
German Sausage wrote:maybe dumbeldore will come back from the dead
AS A ZOMBIE


That must be it! He will come back from the dead, use his new phenomenal cosmic undead powers to kill everyone at Hogwarts, and bring them back for a giant undead orgy!

Everybody wins!
...or loses...I forget what the final score ends up being once you throw in zombie sex.


Wins, definitely.

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:05 am UTC
by German Sausage
only if you get bitten at the start, and its a quick zombie movie....ugh! zombie sex movies!! other than guitar wolf, that was a pisser and more of a romance, but otherwise its horrible. almost as horrible a goatse...

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:10 am UTC
by Twasbrillig
I still think that Fawkes being a horcrux would be INGENIUS.

*edit* Oh me yarm Oh, WHAT IF FAWKES IS DUMBLEDORE'S HORCRUX!?!?

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:48 am UTC
by myoumyouou
i like the idea of dumbledore havin a horcrux, except dumbledore's a love-loving pansy, yeah he's really powerful, but i mean, dumbledore killin someone?
no. not gonna happen.
and malfoy will kill voldemort after harry suicides cuz he's the last horcrux and voldemort will kill malfoy's father, driving malfoy into an insane rage and thus kill the evil fucker. also, snape will be killed by hagrid riding on gwarp to battle, and gwarp will kill a fuck load of death eaters.

ginny will cry lots
ron and hermione will finally realize they've been in love all along
hogwarts will be ruled by mcgonagle (sp?) and the defence against the dark arts job will no longer be cursed,

Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:22 pm UTC
by Twasbrillig
or maybe ron/ginny/hermione is a horcrux.

...and then it's all like, "boom headshot, bitch".