HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Antimatter Spork » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:04 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:Printed-out internets would be pretty heavy.


Maybe if you printed them in a very small font?


Beating people with naked boys, now THAT'S a funny image.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Pirate.Bondage » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:05 am UTC

Most people know better when you tell them to "Google" something instead of you telling them what it is.

But for those few, poor suckers who don't pick up on that- priceless.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Mothra » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:10 am UTC

Pirate.Bondage wrote:Most people know better when you tell them to "Google" something instead of you telling them what it is.

But for those few, poor suckers who don't pick up on that- priceless.


A lot of my not-so-internet-savvy friends have quickly deciphered my response of, 'Just Google it." as, "ohgod this is ineffably unbelievably horrible is that a dog oh god what is that man doing with his penis fuck".

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby functionally_stupid » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:15 am UTC

XD

Reminds me of a conversation I had with my sister, once.

f_s: Did you know that some humans are born with six nipples? Like cats.

Her: Huh? How do you know - NO. STOP TALKING.

XD It was the best conversation ever. I kept offering to explain, and she kept cutting me off, desperately.

Yaoi is cool. No problem with it. But if some dumbass chick walked up and hit me with a stack of yaoi fics/doujin, I'd probably whip out one of those "UKE" paddles and advance threateningly while leering. Or, y'know, hit them with yuri. Or loli. Or het. Whatever would make them squirm and feel the need to wash themselves with rubbing alcohol and iron wool. Because dumbassery is dumbassery.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Gelsamel » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:17 am UTC

Hit them with futa.
Last edited by Gelsamel on Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:18 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Antimatter Spork » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:18 am UTC

When hit with Yaoi, the only effective retaliation is to hit back with Chick tracts.

EDIT: Screaming "The power of Christ compels you!" may also help.
Last edited by Antimatter Spork on Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:20 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Shizo » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:18 am UTC

Hm, maybe I should start carrying some guro around. Just in case.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby functionally_stupid » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:20 am UTC

See, you'd probably get in trouble for futa, because the only thing that really makes something futa is when you can actually *see* the ... ah... bits. Otherwise it could just be an ordinary schoolgirl.

XD I actually edited out "guro"... *that* would definitely get you some time in the counsellor's office.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Antimatter Spork » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:21 am UTC

Shizo wrote:Hm, maybe I should start carrying some guro around. Just in case.

Yeah, but do you really have to want to explain to anyone why you're carrying guro around?

See, you'd probably get in trouble for futa, because the only thing that really makes something futa is when you can actually *see* the ... ah... bits. Otherwise it could just be an ordinary schoolgirl.

There could be suspicious bulges.
Last edited by Antimatter Spork on Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:22 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Chocceh » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:22 am UTC

If you really want to freak people out, print out a screenshot of anything from BME.

Edit: Googling for this is forbidden unless you are a battle-hardened internet user. This is the kind of material that is used for rites of passage. You have been warned.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby functionally_stupid » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:25 am UTC

Chocceh wrote:If you really want to freak people out, print out a screenshot of anything from BME.

Edit: Googling for this is forbidden unless you are a battle-hardened internet user. This is the kind of material that is used for rites of passage. You have been warned.



... wow. Guess I'm battle-hardened, then.

Also, re: suspicious bulges... Um... okay, then. If you say so.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby william » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:26 am UTC

photosinensis wrote:Okay, your first step is to make your way to the nearest Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, or Oriental Orthodox church, find a priest, and be baptized and exorcised. Don't trust anyone else to such things. If you really don't like the whole Christian thing, Buddhist monks might be able to help.

And if that fails, go read through John Baez's entire "This Week's Finds in Mathematical Physics" archive. That will bend your mind enough to be beyond recognizability.

As for the definition of Yaoi, that's what Wikipedia and TV Tropes are for. Note, however, that you should avoid the Wikipedia page on Rage Against the Machine. It has a photo of their anti-PMRC protest.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Chocceh » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:28 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:... wow. Guess I'm battle-hardened, then.


Well, it's all relative. Right now, very little on the internet shocks me. I don't do so much as blink if I see BME. And hey, it's usually better to overdo the warnings than not. Unless it's something like "food will be hot," in which case that's just damn stupid.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby william » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:31 am UTC

Just so you know, third-degree burns are a bit more than "hot".
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby functionally_stupid » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:32 am UTC

True that. *shakes head* Ah, humanity. So fuckin' weird.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Antimatter Spork » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:32 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:Also, re: suspicious bulges... Um... okay, then. If you say so.

Eh. I'm no expert on that stuff anyway. If I'm looking at pictures of naked people, I'd prefer that they have the correct parts anyway. (Also, It's a Trap is among the dumbest memes ever. And that's saying a lot)
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:45 am UTC

*Keeps her mind unsullied*

Well, as unsullied as it can remain... *checks innocence level*

Hmm... We've got ~3% Innocence left. What to spend it on...

Suspicious bulges: Well, they could be stuffing :o

Concerning the topic at hand: I recommend calling the mad man who continued to fire at his victim whilst holding some of his brain. That will snap you out of it. Or kill you. One or the other.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Kikral » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:51 am UTC

Maybe we should get wing to exorcise the corrupted. (s)he is the /b/slayer after all
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Hephesus » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:46 am UTC

I tend to wonder to /b/ when bored and playing Internet Roulette with my friends.

That usually ends the game... or 7 chan's 34 board :?

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby wing » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:53 am UTC

Kikral wrote:Maybe we should get wing to exorcise the corrupted. (s)he is the /b/slayer after all

I can not exorcise them as my hands, too, are bloodied. I can, however, bash their skulls out. Which is doable. Also, I'm a dude. A very hairy dude.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Upsilon » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:56 am UTC

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby thisisdavid » Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:49 am UTC

google it is the new ask your parents.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby null » Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:46 am UTC

thisisdavid wrote:google it is the new ask your parents.


I think the internets played an important role in my childhood education. I remember when i learned what a 'nympho' was...I asked some crazy Scottish dudes in my Counter-Strike clan (this was beta 0.5 or so)...They told me to image search it (this was before i started looking at naughty things on the tubes...i was THAT young).

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby wing » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:00 am UTC

If you were that young and Google had image search.... That makes you what, 12 now? Or am I getting old?
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Chocceh » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:06 am UTC

null wrote:I think the internets played an important role in my childhood education. I remember when i learned what a 'nympho' was...I asked some crazy Scottish dudes in my Counter-Strike clan (this was beta 0.5 or so)...They told me to image search it (this was before i started looking at naughty things on the tubes...i was THAT young).


So I was just about 8 years old, and I became interested in torture devices (I wasn't the kind of kid who liked ripping the wings off flies - I was just curious about what they did back in Ye Torturous Times). So, I searched for "torture" and of course you can imagine what interesting pornography came up, and since then bondage has been my main fetish. Ta-da.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby parkaboy » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:17 am UTC

as for counter attacking the yaoi girls with futa/guro/yuri i say counter attack with

FUTAGUROFURRIES! - i have not ever seen a picture of this. remind me to draw something up when i get home. *sets mechanical pencil to "Melt brains"*

also - Yaoi does not HAVE to be explicitly pornographic. I've seen a lot that is just implied... makes the imagination wander and all..
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:58 am UTC

Only a fool google images words that they don't know and have been told by random strangers.
Wikipedia it instead, information about what it is beforehand, although this is only reccomended for people who aren't battle hardened against shocking images.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby spelunker » Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:42 am UTC

Hephesus wrote:That usually ends the game... or 7 chan's 34 board


Rule 34 has ruined my childhood. Hell, my adulthood too... I mean, Mythbusters?! Really?!

:(

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby parkaboy » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:03 am UTC

THERE'S A BOARD FOR THAT?!?! *makes note*
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Gelsamel » Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:35 am UTC

spelunker wrote:I mean, Mythbusters?! Really?!


Where, show me now. Kari is hot.
"Give up here?"
- > No
"Do you accept defeat?"
- > No
"Do you think games are silly little things?"
- > No
"Is it all pointless?"
- > No
"Do you admit there is no meaning to this world?"
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:47 pm UTC

Gelsamel wrote:Where, show me now. Kari is hot.


It's not Kari.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Kikral » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:34 pm UTC

Rule 34 generally isn't childhood ruining. But I do remember a threat of rule 34 on Metalocalypse, and I saw something I had never seen before.

/b/tards legitimately scared to actually see said images.

Theres a first time for everything.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Sprocket » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:54 pm UTC

I feel like this should be a thread for LOL-talkers annonymous.

Hai! I name is Sarah, I can has problem? I cans be LOL-talker 4 seven months naow, it R ruining mai fren-ships n mai employability, n I needs halp.
Last edited by Sprocket on Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:56 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Kikral » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:56 pm UTC

Y HALO THAR SARAH!

Hai, My names iz Alan, and I can has be Lol-talker fer 6 months. I haz advanced case, even to the point of making peeple cookiez, ten eeteding it.
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Sprocket » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:58 pm UTC

eeteding! Soundz laik ewe has problim wit being fora ninja N lol-talker, no?
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Kikral » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:59 pm UTC

...That one I couldn't translate the last bit
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby parkaboy » Fri Dec 28, 2007 5:03 pm UTC

i am has loltalks foar longtiemz an eye dun noes how t stopk? das k tho. i kin speeks wif lolcats ^_^
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby Kikral » Fri Dec 28, 2007 5:04 pm UTC

Lolcats iz no gud fer lawng talkings tho. They are focused on only wun thingz
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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby N.K. » Fri Dec 28, 2007 5:21 pm UTC

DESU?

Ahem, I mean, I don't really know how to GTFO. Perhaps you should go discover religion or something...?

Also, I've never been to 4Chan.

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Re: HAI GUYZ (Oh god please help me)

Postby SoapyHobo » Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:00 pm UTC

Looking at the map, the easiest way to get away from 4chan would be through WoW. Of course that eventually leads you to noobs and AOL and from there the only way to go would be MySpace...

I suggest you enjoy yourself while you can, there's clearly no escaping from 4chan.
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