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Brandon Oto
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Postby Brandon Oto » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:01 pm UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby kcr » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:05 pm UTC

- Not drinking/smoking/using drugs or substances of any kind

If someone doesn't want to drink/use drugs/smoke, who cares? In my opinion, that's pretty different than deciding you're never going to wear jeans just because the masses worship denim legwear.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby SomeoneElse » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:25 pm UTC

Erm, what? I'm afraid that doesn't make a huge amount of sense to me. I don't "do things differently" because i have specifically chosen that I do not want to be "like everyone else"; its just simply me, what i'm interested in, and what i am like.

I'll happily give things a go, given the chance - providing that I want to. I don't want to smoke or do drugs cause I find it disgusting. OK, fair enough; up to a certain age i was fairly lacking in socialness, but that was mainly because I didn't know any better, not because I flat out refused to give anything ago which might tarnish my geek-cred.

If someone doesn't want to drink, do the social scene, and dress normally, then so be it: its their choice and as long as they're happy doing that, then let them. Its not a disease, it doesn't make them inferior, it's simply their life choice. People decide to change when they're ready, and when they want to. Just because someone starts drinking, it doesnt mean that they would have wanted to 5 years previously.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Durandal » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:26 pm UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby EdgarJPublius » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:34 pm UTC

to be fair, denim legwear is absurdly comfortable and anybody who refuses to wear it should be punished in some way (as if not wearing jeans isn't punishment enough)

I do find paying more than 20 dollars for a decent pair to be even more ludicrous than just not wearing them though.
Luckily, if you (gasp) dont' shop at designer clothing outlets, you cana ctually buy clothes at an affordable price.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby null » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:44 pm UTC

I do find paying more than 20 dollars for a decent pair (of jeans is bad).


Move to England. We pay about $80 for a decent pair of jeans.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:46 pm UTC

Shop at stores with the word "Surplus" or "Crazy" in the title.... my jeans cost 5$, if I go on the right day :) Since all jeans look like all jeans. My shirts cost $75, though, because I have to get shirts that look nice and will be suitable for business meetings. But good jeans vs bad jeans? I have yet to notice a difference.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby bbctol » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:50 pm UTC

EdgarJPublius wrote:to be fair, denim legwear is absurdly comfortable and anybody who refuses to wear it should be punished in some way (as if not wearing jeans isn't punishment enough)

I do find paying more than 20 dollars for a decent pair to be even more ludicrous than just not wearing them though.
Luckily, if you (gasp) dont' shop at designer clothing outlets, you cana ctually buy clothes at an affordable price.

I own no pairs of jeans. Why?

BECAUSE THEY"RE REALLY FRICKIN' UNCOMFORTABLE. Denim just feels horrible. Khakis or slacks are always better. Seriously, I will never understand how someone could find denim comfortable.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby microwaved » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:01 am UTC

kcr wrote:
- Not drinking/smoking/using drugs or substances of any kind

If someone doesn't want to drink/use drugs/smoke, who cares? In my opinion, that's pretty different than deciding you're never going to wear jeans just because the masses worship denim legwear.


I think you missed the point entirely. It's not that they don't like to drink/use drugs/smoke. It's that they swear off it completely, and hold their nose up to people who engage in those activities. Then one day they try it, find out they actually like it, and start engaging in those activities themselves.

Or at least thats what I think the point of this thread is.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Durandal » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:07 am UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:08 am UTC

I agree with the OP here.
Especially when the person is being wierd for no discernable reason apart from to be like "oh yes I do it this way and am therefore higher than you."

It really makes me want to hurt them.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby MoonBuggy » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:23 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:But good jeans vs bad jeans? I have yet to notice a difference.

In my experience the relationship between how good a piece of clothing looks and its price is roughly logarithmic. There are anomalies, of course, but in general more expensive clothes do look better - whether you can justify spending the extra $x for an improvement in your appearance of only factor log(x) is sometimes another matter, though.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby functionally_stupid » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:41 am UTC

Hanging out with the "oooh lookit me I'm DIFFERENT" crowd has always just been very disappointing for me, since they're usually not different at all and just want to look cool in a not-trying-to-look-cool manner. Ick. I actually *AM* different. For ten years I tried to be normal. I failed miserably and was thus miserable about it. At the moment I am happy just being myself.

I don't imbibe spirits, because I have a really sensitive tongue and anything too strong hurts to drink. (Srsly I can't eat too many pieces of citrus, or my mouth will ache for hours.) I don't smoke because I don't need an external aid in the de-stressing area; I'm a very mellow person. I don't do drugs in general because I don't believe it's good to depend on an external means of control for your moods, creativity, etc. I like vegetables. I'm a fairly healthy person. I am fond of gross-tasting energy drinks (an acquired taste).

Meh. I just don't bother much with people in general, because they tend to annoy me and waste my time. But I'm polite to them. And friendly. And sometimes I meet really neat people. It all works out in the end.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:47 am UTC

@functionally_stupid Have you tried Sarsi*? It is a foul tasting drink and no mistake.
*The Malaysian one.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Oort » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:50 am UTC

Brandon Oto wrote:The problem: Nerds/geeks/introverts/etc. who "do things differently" and create all kinds of elaborate and highly fortified justifications for why they CHOOSE to live or behave outside of the mainstream when, in fact, they do not choose this.

Examples:

- Not drinking/smoking/using drugs or substances of any kind
- Dressing unusually, acting off the wall, generally having abnormal habits

Maybe I'm wrong, but that seems like an at least somewhat xkcd thing to do.

if you're happy with everything you're doing, you'll never change it

This doesn't seem to be a problem. If I did become unhappy, couldn't a try something different then?

I agree that trying new things can be good, but I'm not sure we should be opposed to acting unusual.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby functionally_stupid » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:04 am UTC

Ian Ex Machina wrote:@functionally_stupid Have you tried Sarsi*? It is a foul tasting drink and no mistake.
*The Malaysian one.


Nope. Though the drink I am having right now tastes like the aborted lovechild of that outlawed poisonous yellow cough syrup and a hyperactive bottle of tonic.

... >.> I'm not entirely convinced it *isn't* just outlawed cough syrup with some fizzy water mixed in. It's the right smell and color to be that. I'm not sure I can finish it; just a few sips has me feeling vaguely ill.

:D THE THINGS I DO FOR SCIENCE.

(Sorry, science. I should not blame you for my personal failures.)
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Postby Brandon Oto » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:15 am UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:23 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:
Ian Ex Machina wrote:@functionally_stupid Have you tried Sarsi*? It is a foul tasting drink and no mistake.
*The Malaysian one.


Nope. Though the drink I am having right now tastes like the aborted lovechild of that outlawed poisonous yellow cough syrup and a hyperactive bottle of tonic.

... >.> I'm not entirely convinced it *isn't* just outlawed cough syrup with some fizzy water mixed in. It's the right smell and color to be that. I'm not sure I can finish it; just a few sips has me feeling vaguely ill.

:D THE THINGS I DO FOR SCIENCE.

(Sorry, science. I should not blame you for my personal failures.)


Nice, while Sarsi doesn't sound as bad as what you have now, it is still a disappointment for those who buy drinks due to their name resembling a disease or illness.* (When I saw the can I didn't see the I so I bought it to try, it was wasted and binned and a sip.)
I'm surprised though, cough syrup is usually delicious.

Also sigg'd the bracketed part as I like it.

*Dunno if you have a drink called Adez** anywhere else but since the day of release, I pronounce it aids, I get dirty looks in shops, but its hilarious when they had free trials in towns, a man gave adez to several hundred women and children that day.
**Adez actually tastes nice.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby bbctol » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:25 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:Hanging out with the "oooh lookit me I'm DIFFERENT" crowd has always just been very disappointing for me, since they're usually not different at all and just want to look cool in a not-trying-to-look-cool manner. Ick. I actually *AM* different.

*blinks*

Hypocrisy much...?

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby firer » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:26 am UTC

About...

- Alcohol: This is, I think, the only thing I'm curious about. Still, I dislike the reaction some people have when they drink...

- Smoking: I definitely *hate* when people smoke near me. And, I mean, what is cool about smoking? I definitely *do not consider* smoking something anyone should do. I know some long time smokers, I wouldn't want to be like them. Seems like smokings makes you to appear older faster. Also, no one I know consider smoking something that gives happiness.

- Drugs: I don't do drugs. No, thanks. Keep them to yourself. They don't sound cool to me, either.

I'm now thinking that the way people here, in Brazil, see drugs (licit or illicit) here is different from the way you (OP) see. I mean, telling people to *try* smoking/drugs would be something almost unacceptable here. There's a huge campaign against smoking going on - in each cigarrete pack, you'll find the image of some terminal pacient due to smoking. And illicit drugs are considered something that only fucks you up. Alcohol, though, is quite accepted.

As for the other things, maybe they're valid for me. Thing is, every party I go, I feel isolated. I don't have enough social skills to interact freely. I'm *not* happy during parties.

Durandal wrote:Social barriers suck, and that's why people do it.

Seconded.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Freakish » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:02 am UTC

People that choose to get very little sleep, aren't geeks, they're posers. I don't care how I, or anyone else makes it sound. Insomnia is not fun. I don't like to complain so I play it off like it's not that bad, but really... it's horrible when you've been laying in bed for 3 hours not able to sleep with nothing to do but over-think everything. It gets pretty lonely.

Drinking: I don't like beer, rum, whisky, wine, champaign, or coolers. When I do find something that I enjoy drinking, I'll drink it.
Smoking: Don't start, don't have to quit. Pretty simple.
Drugs: Never really been offered except at school, and I'm not going to go to class stoned.

There is usually a party at my house every couple of weeks (not mine) but for what ever reason the guys migrate down into my area (the basement) and hang out with me pulling me into the party. Few weeks ago, the guy going out with my sister gets to my house comes downstairs and we play Guitar Hero 3 for the next four hours until everyone comes down. I seem to get connect a lot more with people in their twenties (I'm 17). Anyways, the point is that I just don't click with the people at school.

Generally I wear jeans and a golf shirt, shorts to school (we have uniforms). I've only got short sleeve shirts, because long sleeves are hotter and constrict my arms. I only have black socks, they don't show dirt. I wear skate shoes because I have wide feet. I sleep with my window open so I don't get hot during the night. I'm fat because I don't have a reason to lose weight.

Ask anything.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby functionally_stupid » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:35 am UTC

bbctol wrote:
functionally_stupid wrote:Hanging out with the "oooh lookit me I'm DIFFERENT" crowd has always just been very disappointing for me, since they're usually not different at all and just want to look cool in a not-trying-to-look-cool manner. Ick. I actually *AM* different.

*blinks*

Hypocrisy much...?


I once spent so much effort trying to fit in with normal people that it quite literally drove me insane, and even then I only ever fit in with the "freaks". I have experienced things that are extremely unusual for a person of my age to have experienced, and some of these were formative experiences. Every human I have ever met (and I have a long memory) has always found me odd - regardless of how hard I try to adhere to a norm, I always fall just short of it; there is some part of me that is not normal and is obvious to others. I am frequently confused by the opinions, beliefs, and values held by average people; for example, my conception of beauty has been shown to be vastly and repeatedly at odds with the majority of humankind. I test fifteen standard deviations above the norm in most standardized tests. I taught myself to read when I was three. I am unusually tall and unusually pale. My skin is much more elastic than the average person's; I am also more flexible, have better night vision, and a capacity to discern colors and tones that is very much above the average. My vocabulary visibly startles strangers. I was raised by extraordinarily atypical people. I have been thought to be a vampire by others. My psychology is extremely unusual, I can turn my bellybutton inside out, I read at an abnormally fast pace even to other fast readers, I am frequently mistaken for a much older age than I actually am based on conversation/maturity/actions, I've always enjoyed brussel sprouts and broccoli.

And I did not state this earlier because I trusted that my word - and analytical capacities - would be honored.

I am slightly offended that you would think me a hypocrite. The intent of my statement was that it is annoying to me to be around people who deliberately attempt to seem different or unique or abnormal; I struggle to be more understandable and nonthreatening to normal people, and think it childish to posture.

I admire and respect you.
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Freakish » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:45 am UTC

Functionally, I don't think you came off as hypocritical, my guess is just that Bbctol just hasn't met any of the posing non-conformers ie: trying to be weird.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Durandal » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:57 am UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby EdgarJPublius » Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:27 am UTC

null wrote:
I do find paying more than 20 dollars for a decent pair (of jeans is bad).


Move to England. We pay about $80 for a decent pair of jeans.

dollars or pounds?
In the states, you can easily pay 80 pounds (~160 capitalist dollars) on good jeans without even realizing you can get the same pair for an eighth of the cost at the local boot/hat store (in Tx. at least, elsewhere you may be able to find decent, inexpensive jeans at a dept, store, but I don't know for sure)
EDIT: Sweat pants are indeed even more ridiculously comfortable than good jeans, but even I have to admit that they are highly unsightly under most conditions, and in Texas, really too warm for most times of the year.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Durandal » Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:42 am UTC

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:54 am UTC

MoonBuggy wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:But good jeans vs bad jeans? I have yet to notice a difference.

In my experience the relationship between how good a piece of clothing looks and its price is roughly logarithmic. There are anomalies, of course, but in general more expensive clothes do look better - whether you can justify spending the extra $x for an improvement in your appearance of only factor log(x) is sometimes another matter, though.

NNNNEEERRRRDDDD!!!!

But totally true. Also, I want to know why jeans that fit me (and thus require sixty yards of fabric) cost less than jeans for my daughter, who weighs 26 lbs. This is why I failed accounting and economics...

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby zten » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:25 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:I once spent so much effort trying to fit in with normal people that it quite literally drove me insane, and even then I only ever fit in with the "freaks". I have experienced things that are extremely unusual for a person of my age to have experienced, and some of these were formative experiences. Every human I have ever met (and I have a long memory) has always found me odd - regardless of how hard I try to adhere to a norm, I always fall just short of it; there is some part of me that is not normal and is obvious to others. I am frequently confused by the opinions, beliefs, and values held by average people; for example, my conception of beauty has been shown to be vastly and repeatedly at odds with the majority of humankind. I test fifteen standard deviations above the norm in most standardized tests. I taught myself to read when I was three. I am unusually tall and unusually pale. My skin is much more elastic than the average person's; I am also more flexible, have better night vision, and a capacity to discern colors and tones that is very much above the average. My vocabulary visibly startles strangers. I was raised by extraordinarily atypical people. I have been thought to be a vampire by others. My psychology is extremely unusual, I can turn my bellybutton inside out, I read at an abnormally fast pace even to other fast readers, I am frequently mistaken for a much older age than I actually am based on conversation/maturity/actions, I've always enjoyed brussel sprouts and broccoli.


This reads like a particularly amusing (to me, anyway; your mileage may vary with others) personals ad. I'll admit that I've become somewhat curious about you now. But, why bring broccoli into this?

With that said, most of the other posts have really reinforced what the original poster seems to have meant. Eventually, a portion of the self-described "different" people figure out that they're human, too, and do in fact enjoy the same things that the rest of the human population finds pleasure in doing. I don't think it's necessarily something that should be upsetting to anyone, though, despite the occasional cases of hypocrisy that may be exposed. People move at different paces in discovering who they are, and complete reversals in past trends may just be a side effect of finally breaking down and experimenting.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:57 am UTC

Brandon Oto wrote:Put another way, "Regardless of whether you're enjoying that blog... would you rather be having more sex?"


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EDIT: to each their own, you know?
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:03 am UTC

See, to me, geeks and sleep have never been "I get less sleep." I've always imagined it as "whenever I can, I sleep from 12 - 10" or something. Late to bed, late to rise, etc.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby functionally_stupid » Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:43 am UTC

zten wrote:This reads like a particularly amusing (to me, anyway; your mileage may vary with others) personals ad. I'll admit that I've become somewhat curious about you now. But, why bring broccoli into this?


Actually, I've decided that if I ever *do* post a "personals" ad, it will just read:

"Discordia seeking Loki, Hermes, Anansi for fun times + Ragnarok."

:D Why *NOT* bring broccoli into it?
I wrote it in a style I fondly refer to as "unabashedly fancy" - i.e., "Fuck Zen minimalism, I'm gonna use all of my favorite words and stack loads of complex syntax n' modifying phrases'n'clauses in this motherfucker, goddamn."

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby NightStar » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:24 am UTC

I would SO answer that ad. But now I ask myself, would that be because I want to be different, or because I am? Or it's just funny? hmmm...conundrum...
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:30 am UTC

second!
A good deal of my very dear friends in college often merited a hard slapping or shaking with a face to face scream of "JUST STOP BEING SO FUCKING PSYCHOTIC!" Love em.

A point I'd like to make is that by hanging out with a crowd of people who you feel you 'fit in with' is no different then what the crowd of people your avoiding is doing.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby null » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:37 am UTC

Bladerunner makes smoking cool...All geeks should understand that.

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Zak » Mon Jan 21, 2008 7:49 am UTC

I actually consider myself pretty normal, i could come up with a whole bunch of reasons why im not, but really, self deception is not my bag. The general definition of normalcy is what i "fit into" mostly and i'm fine with that, although i think that all generalizations like normal and geeky and nerdy and jockish should be abolished, much like political parties, because they often restrict your ability to think for yourself.

So, yeah, people are people, not nerds or geeks or normal.
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Bobber » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:21 am UTC

I have to agree with the jeans-thing. Khakis or sweatpants are much more comfortable on my legs at least. Denim feels like steel wool against my skin, and that is indeed an uncomfortable sensation.

I have never really been a big partygoer or drinker. I just turned seventeen 1 hour and 37 minutes ago. My kid brother, who will turn 15 the first of February, parties a lot more than me. (I have to mention that legal drinking age in Denmark is 16, and it's not unusual for 13-15 year olds to drink at parties). I have always been a little sceptical about parties, but when I actually started attending some I discovered that I had been wrong the whole time. Of course it depends on who, what, where, when, how and why you are partying, but in general, I find it pretty good. I did drink before partying though, but only for the delicious taste of ethanol, water and spices against my tongue.

Was I wrong in shunning my brother's drinking and partygoing before trying it? I say no.

I think that it is perfectly normal to be reluctant about something before you try it. (Most) people are creatures of habit, and trying something new, or refraining from doing something old, will always be more difficult than not changing, as already mentioned earlier.

By the way, F_S, how the hell do you turn a belly button inside out? o.O I mean, you must have an innie (that's what you call it right?), and I see that you mentioned superelastic skin, but still, sounds creepy... (DO NOT WANT pictures.)

By the second way, broccoli owns. In every way. Except frozen, as a plasma, and as a Bose-Einstein Condensate.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby functionally_stupid » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:35 am UTC

Well, to put it in analogous terms, have you ever seen one of those hollow, chewy plastic nipples they give to screaming children? It's a bit like turning one of them inside out, except you have to work exclusively from the "inside" or the hollowed out part of the apparatus. My skin and most of my tissues stretch far. When I lean over, my organs sag over the edge of my belt (unless I flex my muscles, then they jump back); luckily for me, it looks exactly like normal fat-bulge, but I can assure you the sensation is odd. If I'm lying on my side in one position for too long, my organs slide over each other... that feels even more weird.

Now that I've thoroughly grossed you out, let me just say that you aren't bored until you know how many clothespins you can attach to your bellybutton.


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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby xooll » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:41 am UTC

functionally_stupid wrote:Well, to put it in analogous terms, have you ever seen one of those hollow, chewy plastic nipples they give to screaming children? It's a bit like turning one of them inside out, except you have to work exclusively from the "inside" or the hollowed out part of the apparatus. My skin and most of my tissues stretch far. When I lean over, my organs sag over the edge of my belt (unless I flex my muscles, then they jump back); luckily for me, it looks exactly like normal fat-bulge, but I can assure you the sensation is odd. If I'm lying on my side in one position for too long, my organs slide over each other... that feels even more weird.

Now that I've thoroughly grossed you out, let me just say that you aren't bored until you know how many clothespins you can attach to your bellybutton.


... six.

...neat. Human bodies sure do some weird stuff.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Gelsamel » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:49 am UTC

I don't really think there is -that- many people who do things differently for the sole purpose of being different.
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Re: A brief treatise on the topic of: Get over yourself

Postby Masuri » Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:52 am UTC

I agree with the OP, mostly.

I don't mind whatever affectations you pretend to, so long as you aren't an asshole about it. Unfortunately, the kind of person who adopts such things generally can't help it, I've noticed. They're trying so hard to be different - just like everybody else - and if you threaten that, they can be pretty nasty about it.

People want to be able to categorize others, and when we're young we care deeply about how others perceive us. We defy that label of 'geek' - we're cool, no, really. Eventually, you either get over it or spend your whole life trying to find your identity via the eyes of others.

Get comfortable in your skin, because the latter option is ugly. I know a couple of people who are nearing 40 and still do anything they can to look cool or fit in. Their lives are tough, and I feel sorry for them. One of these people told me once that I absolutely had to be tolerant of her friend Soandso's ultra-inappropriate behavior because, of all things, he was gay. I said, "No, I don't have to be tolerant of the stunts he pulls for any reason. You may be afraid of him thinking you're not cool but I don't give a fuck." That rocked her world. Sad.


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