Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

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Durandal
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Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Durandal » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:53 pm UTC

.
Last edited by Durandal on Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:12 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby no-genius » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:03 pm UTC

This comic should totally be available in fuzzy felt!
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby the_bandersnatch » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:10 pm UTC

I'm going to do that, but with real fruit from a market, and by drawing axes on my desk at work with a marker pen. I shall then no doubt get annoyed at my inability to decide accurately, and instead devour all the fruit.

If nothing else, it'll keep me regular :wink:
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby humandrive » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:41 pm UTC

I would have to disagree with the tastiness of the pomegranate. It should be much more tasty.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Felstaff » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:09 pm UTC

I have difficulty with tomatoes, since the accident.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby no-genius » Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:11 pm UTC

"knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad"
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby BizzleBot » Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:47 pm UTC

haha how clever. fruit is good. i like fruit.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Lycur » Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:51 pm UTC

Coconut would have made it on my list. I think hitting something with a hammer is significantly easier than dealing with seeds, which deals with dried coconut. Fresh is really not all that tough to eat either, as long as you habitually carry around a machete.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby BizzleBot » Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:07 pm UTC

you are wise, what are you like a fruit guru?
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Rat » Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:07 pm UTC

i would maybe make my own graph...

but i dont know how to draw a starfruit that will blend in..

although i havent tried..





oh and not to mention the whole idea is stupid and pointless

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Xeio » Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:41 pm UTC

Rat wrote:oh and not to mention the whole idea is stupid and pointless


You are hereby shoo'd from this topic. *shoo*

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Seems my fruits group into the first and third quadrants mostly. I think randall was pretty accurate though, considering I made only a few minor changes to mine. :mrgreen:

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:52 pm UTC

I guess I find quite a bit of it easy. And tasty.

Also, added in a new variety of watermelon because I felt like it.

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Postby ionFreeman » Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:58 pm UTC

Grapefruit are no harder to eat than lemons. Which are themselves tasty! And pomegranates, while frustratingly complex to eat, are among the very tastiest of fruit!

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby daydalus » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:12 pm UTC

Peaches are rated too highly on the X axis. They are very messy, sticky and have a huge pit in the middle. Bananas come with their own easy-open biodegradable wrapper (making cleanup simple).

Also, Watermelons require a knife to consume, and grapes/strawberries/blueberries must be washed. Thus they are more difficult to consume.

The Y axis is, of course, entirely subjective. I'm surprised there's not more grapefruit love. In my opinion grapefruits are 2 for 1 (fruit + juice) – and while consumption is involved (requiring one of those little serrated spoons), it’s actually somewhat of a refreshing activity on a Saturday morning.

Except when you get squirted in the eyeball.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby EdgarJPublius » Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:44 pm UTC

Image

Tomatoes are naturally, off the tasty end of the scale, I left the label on there to mark their place on the difficulty scale, but this graph would have to be much taller to accommodate their tastyness

Also added garlic, because I thought its difficulty and tastyness should be noted.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby IronyandParadox » Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:57 pm UTC

I probably shouldn't have made this. *waves goodbye to grades*
I feel that the location of bananas is very important to note. They hardly ever taste good, and even if they're at the proper ripeness, I can never get them open without mashing up the tops.
(Thanks, Anthro. Open a banana without using your hands? I can't open a banana with my hands.)

Oh, and I removed pomegranates because I've never tried them.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Bakemaster » Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:45 am UTC

EdgarJPublius wrote:Also added garlic, because I thought its difficulty and tastyness should be noted.

What's difficult about garlic? Whack and unwrap, just like a chocolate orange.
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Fuck oranges

Postby tiny » Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:17 am UTC

Exactly what I needed to keep me from going to bed for another 15 minutes. Yes, it took me so long to make this. I'm really tired.

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*head->desk, snores*

EDIT: To add another five minutes:
How did you guys determine 'difficulty'? I notice some interesting differences.
I had the following categories:
--Easy--
1. Eat.
2. Eat and throw away residue.
3. (Peel), eat, spit out residue and throw it away.
--Difficult--
4. Eat with more than one hand/use tool to peel.
5. Go through elaborate peeling process/open and eat with tool.
6. Art.
--Meh--
7. ???
8. Profit.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Kag » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:40 am UTC

I'm so manly, mine looks like this.
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Re: Fuck oranges

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:45 am UTC

tiny wrote:How did you guys determine 'difficulty'?


I went on a Time of Preparation vs. Time of Eating scale. Something that takes just as long to prepare as it does to eat would score the same as something that takes seconds to eat but seconds to prepare (Cherries, for example)

However, things that are usually eaten in one bite (again.. Cherries) or things with an extraordinary amount of seeds (watermelon) get bumps in the difficulty due to the inability to just tear through it willy-nilly.

Though, looking over my list again, I realize that I made Blueberries too difficult. Of course, it's been a while since I've eaten them, so ... I blame my memory.

Strawberries are "hard" due to the either eating around the green bits, or the removal of said .. root? .. system before I eat. I never got the hang of biting just enough without getting the horrid tasting bits without leaving a huge amount still there... so I end up with horrid tasting bits.

Oranges take forever to peel. Moments to eat.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby ++$_ » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:48 am UTC

Mine:
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby stockpot » Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:24 am UTC

I guess I think everything's pretty tasty.
(All of this assuming, of course, that the fruit's good quality, in season, that you peel the membranes off of the grapefruit instead of chomping it all down like a barbarian, and that red apple isn't a Red Delicious)
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Re: Fuck oranges

Postby tiny » Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:09 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:I went on a Time of Preparation vs. Time of Eating scale. Something that takes just as long to prepare as it does to eat would score the same as something that takes seconds to eat but seconds to prepare (Cherries, for example).
(...)
Strawberries are "hard" due to the either eating around the green bits, or the removal of said .. root? .. system before I eat. I never got the hang of biting just enough without getting the horrid tasting bits without leaving a huge amount still there... so I end up with horrid tasting bits.
Fascinating system.
And now you depict the difficulty of strawberries in such a detailed manner, I realize that I, in fact, put them in the wrong category of difficulty.
I don't find it hard to get rid of the leaves and stem, though. I grab the leaves with my thumb and index finger und use my finger nails to cut the stem out of the fruit.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby no-genius » Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:48 pm UTC

What is so wrong with pears?

Also, I hate blueberries. They're sour, and not particularly tasty.

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(tomatoes are difficult 'cause of the juice)
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Chrismclegless » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:13 pm UTC

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Ren » Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:27 pm UTC

Bleep Bloop.

Long story short: fruit is delicious.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby TizzyFoe » Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:34 pm UTC

no-genius wrote:Also, I hate blueberries. They're sour, and not particularly tasty.


you have never had good blueberries. There one of those fruits that can be sour and disgusting, but if you eat them when there just rip enough there delicious.

Also, i have a slow growing rage inside me for everyone who doesn't put bananas as the easiest fruit to eat. There nearest competitor, grapes (or berries) have to be washed before you can eat them. Bananas come in their own handy wrapper which is effortless to open, and keeps your hand clean while you eat it. I'll admit throwing away the wrapper is more then 0 work, but its less work then washing grapes.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Rat » Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:26 pm UTC

TizzyFoe wrote:
no-genius wrote:Also, I hate blueberries. They're sour, and not particularly tasty.


you have never had good blueberries. There one of those fruits that can be sour and disgusting, but if you eat them when there just rip enough there delicious.

Also, i have a slow growing rage inside me for everyone who doesn't put bananas as the easiest fruit to eat. There nearest competitor, grapes (or berries) have to be washed before you can eat them. Bananas come in their own handy wrapper which is effortless to open, and keeps your hand clean while you eat it. I'll admit throwing away the wrapper is more then 0 work, but its less work then washing grapes.


a slow growing rage builds inside me for every motherfucker WHO SAYS THAT! jesus christ i've read "bananas r so ez" like 500 times this week....

the last motherfucking banana i tried to open turned to mush before the "tab" gave way..

yeah yeah i've opened countless bananas flawlessly, but even then its not the easiest..

first of all you look like youre sucking a dick when you eat it and people laugh at you.
and then, usually, those lovely peels of yours flip around or some shit and leave residue on the hands.. which requires cleaning
the last bite of the banana is impossible
and then youre left with that peel, which you basically HAVE to find a trashcan for, otherwise you might kill somebody.. not to mention it looks ugly and disgusting after a short while

it's just like... you know.. shut the fuck up about this banana shit, you know?

edit: i mean the fact that they even have a peel in the first place what the fuck?!

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby stockpot » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:48 pm UTC

TizzyFoe wrote:grapes (or berries) have to be washed before you can eat them
Only if you buy them from a store which bought them from a farmer who sprayed pesticides all over them. I grow my own grapes and berries or find them wild by trails and roadsides. No washing needed at all. Blueberries are especially easy because the plants aren't even sharp. You can eat them right off the bush if you're lazy enough.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby gmalivuk » Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:06 pm UTC

IronyandParadox wrote:I can't open a banana with my hands.

Wow, you fail pretty hard at bananas. I would move them up a bit in tastiness, and put them pretty much all the way to the right in ease (right about where Ren has them, actually).

You don't even have to wash them or worry about a pit, like you do with most everything else that's on the easy side.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Rat » Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:14 pm UTC

i am fucking OUT OF HERE!

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Cheese » Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:17 pm UTC

Rat wrote:i am fucking OUT OF HERE!
QFT. Nobody as of yet has posted a graph that I can wholly agree with...

And I really can't be arsed making my own.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Bakemaster » Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:09 pm UTC

I like my bananas slightly under-ripe; just a touch of chartreuse at either end. I grasp the ends firmly with both hands and tear the fucker in two with an ululating roar of manly exertion. Or sometimes I hold one end with one hand and chop it in half in midair with a butter knife. Cut my finger pretty good doing that one time.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby EdgarJPublius » Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:24 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:
EdgarJPublius wrote:Also added garlic, because I thought its difficulty and tastyness should be noted.

What's difficult about garlic? Whack and unwrap, just like a chocolate orange.

I cook wit garlic on an almost daily basis and I can tell you It's not that easy, you have to unwrap the toes of garlic too and it gets stuck under your fingernails or flies all over the kitchen counter and each little piece has to be picked up and thrown away and it's just friggin annoying.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:24 pm UTC

You're.. supposed to peel bananas? No wonder I thought they always tasted like shit.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Bakemaster » Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:14 pm UTC

EdgarJPublius wrote:I cook wit garlic on an almost daily basis and I can tell you It's not that easy, you have to unwrap the toes of garlic too and it gets stuck under your fingernails or flies all over the kitchen counter and each little piece has to be picked up and thrown away and it's just friggin annoying.

Uh, yeah, I put garlic in at least 75% of the food I cook. Sounds like you're doing it wrong. What do you mean "toes of garlic"? You take the clove, cut the bottom off, smash it with the knife, and the skin all comes away in one piece.
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:05 am UTC

Image
I moved apples to the left a bit because I hate biting into them so I have to cut them up which is a pain. And I added a few.

I'm not sure how seedless grapes ended up higher than seeded ones. They really should be aligned. O_o
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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby stormgren » Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:26 am UTC

You guys haven't had good, ripe tomatoes! Don't base it on the nasty, flavorless watery ones that most stores sell. Real ripe tomatoes are delicious.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby Lycur » Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:37 am UTC

stormgren wrote:You guys haven't had good, ripe tomatoes! Don't base it on the nasty, flavorless watery ones that most stores sell. Real ripe tomatoes are delicious.


This is a case of no true Scotsman. Virtually every fruit that you might buy at a super market is infinitely inferior to it's freshly picked cousin. Tomatoes are just easy to grow in a northern climate, so you're familiar with the phonemona wrt this variety of fruit. If you can, go apple picking the next time fall rolls around - it'll blow your mind.

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Re: Make your own "Fuck Grapefruit" comic

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:57 am UTC

I just assumed it was a case of you guys having screwed up tastebuds.
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