aging.child wrote:Confession: I've always been really good at school, first in my class and everything. I feel like that's who people expect me to be now. I was even on a stint of actually trying (right after New Year's), but now I really wish people expected less of me so I could focus on something besides school.
For instance, we had a huge chemistry exam yesterday, and everyone was freaking out, and even though I went through the effort of studying (the day before), I found myself oddly calm during the test. As if I didn't care at all what I got on it. This worries me greatly.
In history, I got an 83 on my report card because I know for a fact that my teacher put in a fake grade for a test (I still had to take it, and if she put "excused" in the computer, she'd never be able to change it). And I was more worried about other people judging me based on that B than the B itself. By the way, I might very well get a B in history, depending on how accurate the fake grade was, I just assumed that it was a zero... And I really don't care if I get a B, because people will think it was the fake grade that did it.
There has to be a lot of top students (or former top students) around here, anyone else ever have this problem?
This term I officially have all B's in my core classes. I slipped up first in 6th grade with a high B in science and from there I really tried to pick it all back up, but by mid/late seventh grade I totally stopped caring. I honestly do not care at all and I really just hate this entire school concept. So yea, I put in minimum effort and get decent grades in high honor classes, am qualified as gifted, and am 2 mathematical years ahead of the average student. I actually tried a couple times, but it doesn't really make any difference at all, so I stopped bothering. I mean, I don't particularly like having average grades, but I can't keep everything together in my head and bother to care about trivial things like my "education." (I know that sounds bad, and it is, and I know...)