I was supposed to look for work today, but just couldn't get the fuck out of bed. Didn't do anything untill my friend called and i slouched over to him instead. And now i feel bad about not having looked for a job hard enough.
There is the girl, who's just 17 (I'm 21 btw) we've know each other since ... well i remember her being freaking born, friend of the family and all. I didn't know she and her sister were in fact NOT related to me untill i was 12
. I got dumped as of late and we've been seeing each other more often then before, and she's such a little bundle of joy! She's really beautiful and elegant and smart and witty and positive and and and .. i'm running out of adjectives! I fear however that she sees me as a big brother and i'm scared to DEATH to betray that trust. I just wan't to be around her she sooths me somehow.
Even though she's really hot Sex has Nothing to do with it.
Trust me, i've been doing a South American girl for 5 years, in an extremly passionate and horribly destructive relationship.
I feel rejuvinated around her, yet horribly old by comparsion. It's not that she hasn't been through hard times and thusly feel "untouched". No she's seen and felt her (more then) fair share. But she shrugs the hits of like nothing, hits back and gets on with it, unwaveringly optimistical.
I'm falling in love with her, I'm affraid.
Am i afraid of rejection? Of course!
Is that the main issue? Not really...
I don't want to bring the weight of all my troubles down on her, i don't want to destroy her. I'm afraid i will.
I'm fucking scared shitless infact...