Let's all be nice and encourage people to do things they want to. Constructive criticism is OK, but not just insulting people for what they want to do.
To start, I keep wanting to rap for fun, but I'm embarrassed about it because hip-hop just isn't a middle-class Jewish art form. Oh, and I don't live within 100 miles of a hip-hop club that would have an open-mic night. But I've still made up a stage name and even written a few songs. Please find enclosed my song about the 'hood that I rep.
Yeah, it uses a lot of rude words. That's normal in hip-hop. Also, this song is more humorous, tongue-in-cheek than most of mine.
(No beats yet.)
Tonight I wanna rep my hood,
Though it's covered in rusty metal -- not good.
My place with da graffiti writ' in bloods,
Where I did wear my brown testin' duds.
Thas' right homies: Testchamba 19.
Testchamba 19 with pulsing pistons and turrets,
Testchamba 19 where just beans go down ya gullets,
Testchamba 19 with my double-fling bling,
Yeah, Testchamba 19 in dem Aperture Labs.
Chorus 1 (with backup-singer babes):
Cuz this was a triumph.
I'm taggin a slab here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my portal action.
Aperture Science: move the fuck out, because you're in.
The other Aperture testers, they always be dissin,
Guns we wield, chamberlocks, orange blue are the essence!
And GLaDOS always talkin when you don't want to listen,
You just mourn for the Cube till yo victry candescence.
Party submission position,
That ho wanna get laid,
The intubation associate, yeah, he got it made!
Never see the pimp, he movin' like Ha'Tzel,
Shadow to light; you never can spot tha transition!
Chorus 2 (just MC):
So go ahead and leave me bitch;
I think I prefer to break outside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa. That was a joke, Chell. SURE. Fat chance.
At least I do realize that, there isn't really a cake.
And that popo ho GLaDOS she all invadin' my space,
Like a Science Ace ever did get to some place,
She sends them rockets from her embedded sphere-headed gats,
Rats, bitch goes crazy just 'cuz I calls her fats.
Clipboards and computers from big to small,
No rewards and no cake, just energy hustlin'
Bustlin' round, chasin' platforms with portals on walls,
Bright pellets' made ya yell it: TESTCHAMBA 19!
Chorus 3 (backup-babes with GLaDOS sampled):
Look at me still talking when there's Science to do,
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you,
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done,
On the people who are still alive.
Ya'aleh! GLaDOS! Representin' Aperture: a Trusted Friend in Science!
(Sampled from "The Device Has Been Modified"):
Proceed directly to android hell. *ANGER-SPHERE-ROARING-SOUND*