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This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:12 pm UTC
by Ondore
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.


The ending alone is worth it.
http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:33 pm UTC
by Jessica
I liked that. It was awesome.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:33 pm UTC
by nsmjohn
Ondore wrote:
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.


The ending alone is worth it.
http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html

Yeah, I would definitely say so.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:37 pm UTC
by Masuri
Ha, that was an awesome read. Thanks!

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:38 pm UTC
by Azrael001
You're welcome.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm UTC
by nsmjohn
Masuri wrote:Ha, that was an awesome read. Thanks!


It really was a great find. Thanks Ondore. I found the simplicity of the whole story to be the most compelling part.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm UTC
by Bakemaster
You win the best new thread in General in some time award, Ondore. Good work; have some cake.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:46 pm UTC
by Jessica
I liked the moderator who kept telling him to move the discussion. That was awesome.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:56 pm UTC
by Cheese
Niiice story!

I'm starting to realise why I should've started filing my bookmarks properly from the start, though - I have well over a hundred, in no particular order - I think I'll probably spend the next hour or so coming up with a good folder heirarchy for them.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:02 pm UTC
by theonlyjett
Nice. Good find OP. I liked how no one wanted to go stop AsianAvenger, an apparent board troublemaker, from negating his own existence.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:16 pm UTC
by LE4dGOLEM
Needs MOAR!

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:15 pm UTC
by Actaeus
That was awesome. I liked the nonchalant Wikiperson dialogue from the mods.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:47 am UTC
by EsotericWombat
I'd like to see the subforum about Kennedy

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:50 am UTC
by Azrael001
What about Lincoln? Or Obama? (If this actually comes true I will end up on the watch list for sure).

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:11 am UTC
by EsotericWombat
well in the case of Kennedy, there would also have to be rules about revealing the true nature of the assassination to the public. Scoff all you want at conspiracy theorists-- the uncertainty surrounding it all significantly colored American politics thereafter, and that would be a vein well worth mining for humor.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:27 am UTC
by Zak
I'm considering printing this out and showing a bunch of friends...

I fear they wont understand the forum references

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:34 am UTC
by hyperion
hahaha, nice.

Bookmark'd

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:16 pm UTC
by Citizen K
Very amusing.

The first few entries make me immediately think of the game Chrononauts. Maybe that's no accident.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:02 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
Excellent short story.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:13 pm UTC
by EsotericWombat
I think that there may be a rich vein of narrative to be mined in this sort of faux-web format

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:22 pm UTC
by Lycur
Absolutely fantastic. A must read!

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:22 pm UTC
by joeframbach
That was pretty badass. More. I demands it.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:26 pm UTC
by MFHodge
A thread like this would be better placed in the "Science" forum and marked as "Science Humor". This isn't that hard people.

We're just trying to keep everything in its place . . .

Spoiler:
Yes, I'm joking. :wink:

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:40 pm UTC
by b.i.o
That was excellent, thank you :D

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:02 pm UTC
by ThorFluff
YOU SIR!
Win an Internets.
I just linked this to more or less everyone i was talking to on msn.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:43 pm UTC
by EsotericWombat
Me too. and apparently it's making it around fast, because some had already seen it.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:54 pm UTC
by bbctol
Ooh, I lol'd. But the fact that the timestamps for each comment were in chronological order missed a humor opportunity, I thought.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:38 pm UTC
by une see
Epic.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:50 pm UTC
by Actaeus
Epoch.

okay, it doesn't make much sense but I couldn't resist.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:54 pm UTC
by Verator
Actaeus wrote:Epoch fail


Fix'd.

That was so last version of the internet.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:52 am UTC
by Actaeus
Actually, that story was totally epoch win.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:38 am UTC
by sethicus
i am with hodge. the barracksroomlawyer. every friggin post!

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:12 am UTC
by parkaboy
Hahah that was awesome. I'm glad Hodge jumped on that joke too =]

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:28 am UTC
by aleflamedyud
Bloody good ending.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:04 am UTC
by Spuddly
Would it be possible to tell stories like that with an actual website?
Like the time traveler's wiki- go there, write about how you changed history. Then other people would change it back. That'd be pretty cool.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:10 am UTC
by joeframbach
Spuddly wrote:Would it be possible to tell stories like that with an actual website?
Like the time traveler's wiki- go there, write about how you changed history. Then other people would change it back. That'd be pretty cool.

Start up the thread in Forum Games. Post a link to that thread here.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:24 pm UTC
by Echodork
We will never have time travel in my lifetime. How do I know? Because if a time machine is ever invented while I am alive, I will steal it and bring it back to myself this morning. And since I've now made it to lunchtime without any future versions of myself appearing in possession of insanely valuable future technology, I have to assume that this will never happen.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:44 pm UTC
by Yuri2356
Or you failed to steal it.

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:45 pm UTC
by evilbeanfiend
or the time cops busted yo' ass

Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:14 pm UTC
by EsotericWombat
seriously dude. going on the record like that is a great way to get yourself wiki-ed out of the time stream