How to trap a geek

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Plasma Man
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Plasma Man » Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:18 pm UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:No, see that's a bad idea too, as you're only setting it up right for some supervillain type to come along and take over the mountain complex and with it the entire world's stockpile of weapons.


I might be willing to lose an arm for a supervillain style mountain complex - maybe you could put the keys on the bear trap. Including the key for the roof that retracts to allow for rocket launches.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Quantum Potatoid » Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:33 pm UTC

I myself am particularly susceptible to getting trapped in bookstores. I was stuck in the Mathematics and Physics section of a bookstore trying to decide what to get for an entire half hour. :D So..Many...Good...Books *Drools Uncontrollably*
There's no way any of the other geeks or nerds could get themselves out of my situation quickly. (Unless you happened to have a rather large budget and could afford ALL of the books :) )
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Calibwam » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:08 pm UTC

Code: Select all

while 1 == 1:
      import  beartrap



What about unlimited programming and sword fighting skills?
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Upsilon » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:04 pm UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:
Solt wrote:World peace?


Yes but once you get world peace and then the aliens find us ripe for invasion having disposed of our weapons, how are you going to wield a plank with a nail in to fight them off if you only have one arm?

Easy; get Universal Peace out of the bear trap instead.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Mo0man » Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:45 am UTC

Upsilon wrote:
the_bandersnatch wrote:
Solt wrote:World peace?

Yes but once you get world peace and then the aliens find us ripe for invasion having disposed of our weapons, how are you going to wield a plank with a nail in to fight them off if you only have one arm?

Easy; get Universal Peace out of the bear trap instead.

Haven't you seen Serenity? Trying to force peace on the 'verse only ends in rape, violence and cannibalism until the big damn heroes show up?
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby goblin_subway » Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:47 am UTC

I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier. Holodeck for the win!
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby GCM » Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:13 am UTC

Upsilon wrote:
the_bandersnatch wrote:
Solt wrote:World peace?


Yes but once you get world peace and then the aliens find us ripe for invasion having disposed of our weapons, how are you going to wield a plank with a nail in to fight them off if you only have one arm?

Easy; get Universal Peace out of the bear trap instead.


Then what about when dudes from a parallel universe come?

Other than than, what if we need nukes to, I don't know, blow up a meteorite or something?
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby goblin_subway » Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:04 am UTC

The guys from the paralell universe are easy to spot, they all have goatees.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Upsilon » Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:11 am UTC

goblin_subway wrote:The guys from the paralell universe are easy to spot, they all have goatees.

What if their parallel counterparts already have goatees?
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Pandercolour » Fri Apr 25, 2008 3:27 am UTC

Quantum Potatoid wrote:I myself am particularly susceptible to getting trapped in bookstores. I was stuck in the Mathematics and Physics section of a bookstore trying to decide what to get for an entire half hour. :D So..Many...Good...Books *Drools Uncontrollably*

This is a combination of words I never thought I'd ever see.

Not while I was alive, at any rate.

I guess that means I can die peacefully now.

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Mo0man » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:31 am UTC

GCM wrote:Other than than, what if we need nukes to, I don't know, blow up a meteorite or something?

If movies have taught us anything, it's that Bruce Willis will save us. Somehow
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Meowgan » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:46 am UTC

The 8 bit tie from thinkgeek seems to work well.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby 4=5 » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:54 am UTC

firefly the complete series

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Hurduser » Fri Apr 25, 2008 6:42 am UTC

If I don't suspect it, a huge Tux or Beasty plushy would work well!
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby GCM » Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:10 am UTC

goblin_subway wrote:The guys from the paralell universe are easy to spot, they all have goatees.


Okay, but recognition won't stop them from taking over! No guns! That's why I'm against excessive firearm restrictions.

Mo0man wrote:If movies have taught us anything, it's that Bruce Willis will save us. Somehow


Okay, but he won't be alive forever.

Or will he???
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby cephalopod9 » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:02 am UTC

Instead of a physical reward, bait the trab with being right. Put up a poster with a riddle or equation, the solution to which is "put your arm in this bear trap", then have some one stand around with their arm next to the trap looking smug.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Lycur » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:02 pm UTC

4=5 wrote:firefly the complete series


That is, including seasons 2-15?

I think we'd need to start a one arm support group.

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Will » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:39 pm UTC

As it stands we need to start a browncoat support group.

And, at any rate, if you're trying to trap a geek, you're going to need something a bit more sophisticated than a mechanical bear trap.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby oxoiron » Fri Apr 25, 2008 6:31 pm UTC

Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.
Fixed.

I'd trade an arm for immortality.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby M.qrius » Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:23 pm UTC

oxoiron wrote:
Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.
Fixed.

I'd trade an arm for immortality.

Seriously? If I had to pick between losing an arm or immortality, I'd go for losing an arm...

Meowgan wrote:The 8 bit tie from thinkgeek seems to work well.

That thing is so cool :D I only have the Ties suck tie though, because I can actually wear that to semi-official things and get away with it.
Last edited by M.qrius on Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:21 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Spoffin » Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:02 am UTC

oxoiron wrote:
Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.
Fixed.

I'd trade an arm for immortality.
Oh yeah? And where are you gonna find a munchkin willing to do THAT deal with you, eh? You think there are whole bunch of people roaming around with immortality to give away, but severely lacking in arms?????

Only that knight from the holy grail springs to mind.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby justaman » Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:19 am UTC

I have rocket powered sticks already, such as this mighty (wikipedia) device.

Bionic capabilities would be pretty cool, or the ability to heal completely and rapidly
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby GCM » Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:28 am UTC

Spoffin wrote:
oxoiron wrote:
Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.
Fixed.

I'd trade an arm for immortality.
Oh yeah? And where are you gonna find a munchkin willing to do THAT deal with you, eh? You think there are whole bunch of people roaming around with immortality to give away, but severely lacking in arms?????

Only that knight from the holy grail springs to mind.


Well, same thing. Who would trade universal peace for an arm either?

Oh yeah, it came earlier, but I'd trade an arm for a mechanical arm. Like Benders. Or a gatling/vulcan/laser cannon, to crush all who disobey!! Though I'd prefer it on the chest instead. :D
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:35 am UTC

Hey, it worked for Lincoln.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby akashra » Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:01 am UTC

I believe the answer to this problem is rather simple, however my solution applies to all men, not just geeks. The following will be set up.

1 park bench.
1 sign, placed on said bench, written on it the words "Wet paint".

A large trap device should reside hoisted over the bench.

This has a 95% success rate on males when asked to wait nearby any landmark.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Firnagzen » Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:16 pm UTC

Uh... Unlimited regeneration powers, and associated immortality, like Kage Baker's cyborgs*?



*Really cool. They are totally unkillable. The worse possible damage is to reduce them to their skulls and its contents, which have a temporal field around them. Whatever you do to them, the skulls will be instantly taken back to a time when they weren't damaged. And then they'll regenerate from there. I'd happily give an arm for that, because I'd get it back in a couple days at most.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Dakun » Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:12 pm UTC

Lycur wrote:
4=5 wrote:firefly the complete series


That is, including seasons 2-15?

I think we'd need to start a one arm support group.


I'm in on the Firefly one armed support group. But only if there is like at least 10 more River - shooting people with very calculated aim scenes. 18 More Kaylee just running around and giggling scenes. And more scenes with Book's hair, lol.

Secondtalon wrote:Hey, it worked for Lincoln.

I love that steampunk image! Laugh everytime I see it.
M.qruis wrote:
oxoiron wrote:
Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.

Fixed.
I'd trade an arm for immortality.

Seriously? If I had to pick between losing an arm or immortality, I'd go for losing an arm...


I would also trade an arm for immorality (+'enternal youth'). And I believe I would even go so far as to say, that even in my immortal life, if science is never able to find a cyborg - replacement part or an HGH enduced regeneration pill, I would still be okay with this decision. I want to see humanity reach other planets, and I want to see other forms of life (intelligent or not). Although I suppose I'd like the option to kill myself somehow - I'd rather not be still alive and feeling pain when the universe implodes, big chills, etc. and everyone else is dead. Perhaps I want to live until our species is wiped out.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby M.qrius » Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:46 pm UTC

Dakun wrote:
M.qruis wrote:
oxoiron wrote:
Mo0man wrote:I honestly can't think of anything. I need my arm for my gaming masturbation.
Fixed.
I'd trade an arm for immortality.
Seriously? If I had to pick between losing an arm or immortality, I'd go for losing an arm...
I would also trade an arm for immorality (+'enternal youth'). And I believe I would even go so far as to say, that even in my immortal life, if science is never able to find a cyborg - replacement part or an HGH enduced regeneration pill, I would still be okay with this decision. I want to see humanity reach other planets, and I want to see other forms of life (intelligent or not). Although I suppose I'd like the option to kill myself somehow - I'd rather not be still alive and feeling pain when the universe implodes, big chills, etc. and everyone else is dead. Perhaps I want to live until our species is wiped out.
That's not what I said... but yeah, if there was a way to end it while needed, then I'd go with immortality as well. I'm not suicidal, definitely not, but if I had to live forever, it would be nice for a finite amount of time, then suck for an infinite amount after that. Infinite > finite.

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby oxoiron » Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:54 pm UTC

Dakun wrote:
oxoiron wrote:I'd trade an arm for immortality.
I would also trade an arm for immorality (+'enternal youth').
Now that you mention it, I should have included eternal youth; I don't want to end up like Tithonus. I should also mention that you don't need to trade your arm for immorality. Lots of people are immoral and they still have both arms.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Dakun » Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:06 pm UTC

oxoiron wrote:
Dakun wrote:
oxoiron wrote:I'd trade an arm for immortality.
I would also trade an arm for immorality (+'enternal youth').
Now that you mention it, I should have included eternal youth; I don't want to end up like Tithonus. I should also mention that you don't need to trade your arm for immorality. Lots of people are immoral and they still have both arms.


LOL good catch.

Still - the Dorian Grey type is very appealing. There needs to be some kind of 'off switch' Not an easily exploitable by my enemies kind of off switch, but living forever while my body ages would kinda stink.

I think i'd choose being a Prince of Amber - Fantastic regeration, long lives (1000+ years) leading to general youth, but not eternal, I'd pass on the universe shifting thing, I just like the idea of being around for a while.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby M.qrius » Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:04 pm UTC

So our conclusion is, basically, that to get a geek SO, all you need to offer is eternal youth and immortality.


Right, let's get cracking then!

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Calibwam » Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:39 pm UTC

Dakun wrote:Still - the Dorian Grey type is very appealing. There needs to be some kind of 'off switch' Not an easily exploitable by my enemies kind of off switch, but living forever while my body ages would kinda stink.


Well, very appealing to get mad of the thoughts and having to kill friends etc. Nah, regenration is the way..!
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby cephalopod9 » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:06 am UTC

Get two bear traps and put them about a couple feet apart, then put up a sign that says it's impossible to touch both at the same time, make sure to include (flawed or controversial) mathematical diagrams demonstrating why. In the right location you might empty the traps several times a day.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby UmbralRaptor » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:17 am UTC

Pretty much anything that negates the loss of the arm. A bionic replacement that is better, regeneration, equipment to allow uploading into a bush robot, ...
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Yuri2356 » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:21 am UTC

So, as most of the replies in this thread indicate, most geeks are not willing to sacrifice an arm. They just want an excuse to gain superpowers.

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby M.qrius » Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:41 am UTC

Maybe this is the way to go: You make a cage, with an open door with an obvious trap mechanism on it, and something wicked cool (and actually possible) inside the cage. Then, when the geek comes, he sabotages the trap mechanism, goes into the cage to get the thing, and then a bigger cage without a door falls over the smaller cage.

One geek, coming up!

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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby Nyarlathotep » Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:17 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Wait.. can I get cybernetic arms and 21 levels of Sorcerer?

Because I want that. And hell, give me 21 levels of Cleric while we're at it.


I guess you can't take druid because of the metal arms. However, I must say that 21 levels of Psion + cybernetic bits would be pretty flippin sweet.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:32 pm UTC

Hmm.. to kill you with my mind, or to kill you with my fists...

I'll do both! Mindfists!
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby wst » Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:46 pm UTC

Yuri2356 wrote:So, as most of the replies in this thread indicate, most geeks are not willing to sacrifice an arm. They just want an excuse to gain superpowers.

It's still a sacrifice. You give a leetle bit of pain for the greater good.

Side note- ST, sure you want artificial arm + cleric levels?
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This guy passes both those criteria.. :?
He's not a geek though. Artificial arm + cleric is too common for a geek.
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Re: How to trap a geek

Postby the Cow » Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:02 pm UTC

tell 'em that someone is using archaic pointer arithmetic and incorrectly dereferencing said pointers, just on the other side of that there door over there.

On second thought: ask them to build a trap to trap other geeks... just on the other side of that there door over there.
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