If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

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Shakleton
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Shakleton » Fri May 02, 2008 10:22 am UTC

I'm surprised nobody thought of THIS yet.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Mmmm, Pi » Fri May 02, 2008 10:25 am UTC

I'd want to build my own house, with a library with enough room for all my books, and a library ladder. That would be cool.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Amarantha » Fri May 02, 2008 12:28 pm UTC

Image

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby SecondTalon » Fri May 02, 2008 12:35 pm UTC

ZLVT wrote:
parkaboy wrote:Ooooh, man i would totally want to take piloting lessons and have my own plane or helicopter. That way I could GO places. Like "oh hey i'm going to grab some pizza.... in Chicago. wanna come?"

Why, WHY Chicago? of all the places, why would to go to Chicago for pizza, surely if you were able to take the leer jet you'd go to Rome or Naples because I don't like Roman pizza, too flat and ... sad looking for my tastes, give me full bodied [adjecvtival form of Naples] pizza anyday.

Clearly, you've never had Chicago pizza. I don't even like pizza, and I'd stab my best friend for some of that.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby lesliesage » Fri May 02, 2008 12:48 pm UTC

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Last edited by lesliesage on Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:52 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Felstaff » Fri May 02, 2008 4:30 pm UTC

Step 1.) Found InGen.
Step 2.) ???
Step 3.) Scare the hell out of Randall Munroe.
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby segmentation fault » Fri May 02, 2008 5:41 pm UTC

a house and a condo. i will live in the condo in the middle of a city somewhere and when i feel like getting the hell away from civilization go to the house. the house will be secluded so i can walk around naked without anyone caring. if someone does care i will give them money to just stfu.

i will also hire a bunch of people to take care of the other place while i am not there.

thats pretty much all i care to do.
people are like LDL cholesterol for the internet

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby lesliesage » Fri May 02, 2008 5:57 pm UTC

segmentation fault wrote:i will also hire a bunch of people to take care of the other place while i am not there.
Why, when all you need is Alfred?

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Yuri2356
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Yuri2356 » Fri May 02, 2008 6:13 pm UTC

segmentation fault wrote:i will also hire a bunch of people to take care of the other place while i am not there.

Torgo!

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Belial » Fri May 02, 2008 6:14 pm UTC

He takes care of the house when the master's away?
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They/them

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby segmentation fault » Fri May 02, 2008 6:19 pm UTC

Yuri2356 wrote:
segmentation fault wrote:i will also hire a bunch of people to take care of the other place while i am not there.

Torgo!


he will proceed to fail me
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Amnesiasoft » Fri May 02, 2008 10:04 pm UTC

What, no fleets of helicopters with railguns mounted on them?

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby tryptanymph » Fri May 02, 2008 11:24 pm UTC

Quit any and all jobs.

Throw parties in a mansion.

Hire Hugh Hefner as my manservant.

Take copious amounts of drugs, just for the experience.

Take 'copter, 'plane, 'bike and racing lessons.

Buy an obscene amount of guitars.

Fund research into every disease ever, and work on curing world hunger.

Fund research into making me Iron Man.

Fund research into making me more or less immortal.

Buy the best gaming PC imaginable, and then make it better, then go on online games, show people my sexy specs, then act all n00bish, just to see them cry at the wasted firepower of my PC.

Die in a giant burst of flames.

Meet Death, and challenge him to a game of, "Who has more money, bitch?" and win.

Bring myself and Gary Gygax, and Dimebag Darrel, and a few other awesome people back from the dead with me.

Asplode the universe.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Amnesiasoft » Sat May 03, 2008 12:08 am UTC

sleepygamer wrote:Meet Death, and challenge him to a game of, "Who has more money, bitch?" and win.

Yes but Death, being around for a billion gazillion years, has earned a lot of interest on his savings account. I think you lost.

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby tryptanymph » Sat May 03, 2008 12:13 am UTC

Amnesiasoft wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Meet Death, and challenge him to a game of, "Who has more money, bitch?" and win.

Yes but Death, being around for a billion gazillion years, has earned a lot of interest on his savings account. I think you lost.

You raise a fair point, but Death (the anthropomorphic version, not the boring old process) has only been around for as long as people have. And in the interest of this exercise, let us assume that I, in fact, have infinite funds, as it's just a game. :D
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Torvaun » Sat May 03, 2008 12:21 am UTC

Build my own massive network with plenty of links to the regular internet.
Hire a team of private eyes to follow Dan Brown, and report on his every movement.
DDOS every computer within a mile of him, at all times.
Announce an end to these problems when every copy of Digital Fortress is burned. As a pyre. With Dan Brown atop it.

Spend the rest of my days fondly remembering the times when Dan Brown would routinely be beaten unconscious and hauled out into the wilderness by college students who needed to finish a term paper.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby tryptanymph » Sat May 03, 2008 12:37 am UTC

Torvaun wrote:Build my own massive network with plenty of links to the regular internet.
Hire a team of private eyes to follow Dan Brown, and report on his every movement.
DDOS every computer within a mile of him, at all times.
Announce an end to these problems when every copy of Digital Fortress is burned. As a pyre. With Dan Brown atop it.

Spend the rest of my days fondly remembering the times when Dan Brown would routinely be beaten unconscious and hauled out into the wilderness by college students who needed to finish a term paper.

Y'know...

...I'm beginning to like the way you think.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Mr. Beck » Sat May 03, 2008 3:02 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:Step 1.) Found InGen.
Step 2.) ???
Step 3.) Scare the hell out of Randall Munroe.

If I had the cash, I would actually complete InGen's "research" to scare the crap out of the world. (and children)

The sequence is:
Step 1: Found InGen
Step 2: -------
Step 3: LAUGH!!

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby ZLVT » Sat May 03, 2008 3:29 am UTC

sleepygamer wrote:
Hire Hugh Hefner as my manservant.

Fund research into making me more or less immortal.

Bring myself and Gary Gygax, and Dimebag Darrel, and a few other awesome people back from the dead with me.


AND MAY NATHAN GALE ROT IN HELL!!!

Yeah, screw world hunger, I'm funding immortality.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat May 03, 2008 6:54 am UTC

Amarantha wrote:Image
Yes.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Quadropus » Sat May 03, 2008 12:25 pm UTC

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby benjhuey » Sat May 03, 2008 3:42 pm UTC

Amnesiasoft wrote:What, no fleets of helicopters with railguns mounted on them?

Yuri2356 wrote:Zeppelins.


OK, fleets of zeppelins with railguns mounted on them.
多么现在棕色母牛?

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Mr. Beck » Sat May 03, 2008 6:18 pm UTC

Three Words:
Rocket Propelled Chainsaw

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Awia » Sat May 03, 2008 6:54 pm UTC

I'd buy Mars, who from you ask? The Martians of course!
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat May 03, 2008 7:19 pm UTC

For one "lousy" bead? :P
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Game_boy » Sat May 03, 2008 7:35 pm UTC

I would buy Codeweavers and Transgaming and for that matter every out-of-work programmer on the Earth and set them to develop Wine. Wine is such a large project (with thousands of waypoints that can be achieved in parallel) that this brute-force approach would ensure 99% compatibility in a matter of months. This would cause a massive uptake of Linux in particular, but also all Unix-like systems.

And the world would be a better place.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Amnesiasoft » Sat May 03, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Game_boy wrote:This would cause a massive uptake of Linux in particular

Actually, it probably wouldn't. Most people would probably subscribe to the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" way of thinking.

benjhuey wrote:OK, fleets of zeppelins with railguns mounted on them.

That is an acceptable alternative :P

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Awia » Sat May 03, 2008 7:44 pm UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:For one "lousy" bead? :P

Where does that come from? I recognise it from somewhere.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Felstaff » Sat May 03, 2008 7:53 pm UTC

There was this guy at the market who offered a trade for the gazillion, which I gratefully accepted. Now I have not one, not even two, but five of these super-magic beans. He didn't tell me what they did exactly, but they are magic. Of this I am certain.
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby tryptanymph » Sat May 03, 2008 9:27 pm UTC

Awia wrote:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:For one "lousy" bead? :P

Where does that come from? I recognise it from somewhere.

Futurama. On the Wong Family Wanch. Sorry, Ranch.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Otis » Sun May 04, 2008 3:29 am UTC

Image
Image
Koenigsegg CCX

I would strangle a puppy with my bare hands for one of those.
Not really. I like puppies.

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!!!!

Postby parkaboy » Sun May 04, 2008 3:33 am UTC

IS IT A TRANSFORMER?!?!@# what else does it do?!!
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby UmbralRaptor » Sun May 04, 2008 4:04 am UTC

Initially, I was going to say "A space program." (implicitly colonizing the solar system)

But putting an arbitrarily large amount of funds into a Vingian Singularity seems intriguing...
Why do you assume that I exist?

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Shizo » Sun May 04, 2008 4:05 am UTC

I would do something smart stupid like invest ~60% of it.

With the remaining 40%:
1. Build my own computer and actually buy games for it.
2. Purchase a Tripple, a Wii60 and games to go with, of course.
4. Buy a nice house for me and pay it off.
5. Furnish said house (amazing TV being the first item).

I'm boring. :?
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Re: !!!!

Postby Otis » Sun May 04, 2008 4:45 am UTC

parkaboy wrote:IS IT A TRANSFORMER?!?!@# what else does it do?!!

Breaks world speed records.

Top Speed: 400+ km/h (250+ mph) :o

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Re: !!!!

Postby ZLVT » Sun May 04, 2008 5:43 am UTC

Otis wrote:
parkaboy wrote:IS IT A TRANSFORMER?!?!@# what else does it do?!!

Breaks world speed records.

Top Speed: 400+ km/h (250+ mph) :o


price-tag?
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Awia » Sun May 04, 2008 10:12 am UTC

Apparently $650,000.

I'll take 7.
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby ZLVT » Sun May 04, 2008 10:31 am UTC

not that bad. Hey Awia, you any relation to Artemisia or do you just coincidentally have the same avatar?
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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby Awia » Sun May 04, 2008 11:37 am UTC

It's a coincidence.
Aren't they a different colour? Mine is blue, Artemisia's is red.
Francis wrote:Look on the bright side, if you all die I'll still be handsome

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Re: If I had a billion gazillion dollars....

Postby ZLVT » Sun May 04, 2008 11:43 am UTC

I am a man.
Details are lost on me.
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