Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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I Am Raven
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby I Am Raven » Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:06 pm UTC

HIT AND RUN?! FUCK YOU! MY BIKE CHAIN BROKE, AND YOU JUST RODE OFF?! FUCK, YOU!
Spoiler:
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Whelan
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Whelan » Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:07 pm UTC

Pope make Whelan angry.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby felltir » Thu Sep 16, 2010 6:16 pm UTC

Whelan wrote:Pope make Whelan felltir angry.


FTFY
Spoiler:
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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:08 pm UTC

POPE SMASH!
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Thesh
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Thesh » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:16 pm UTC

You may hate the pope, but if it wasn't for him then who would be there to promote the spread of AIDS in Africa?
Summum ius, summa iniuria.

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Dasboard
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Dasboard » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:18 pm UTC

I bet Bono would be willing to help Africa out!
Are you ready? Well I made my bet
Are you ready? I made some.. preparations.
Are you ready? But I'm older now!
But are you ready? Yeah...

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Magnanimous
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Magnanimous » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:06 pm UTC

SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY NINE.

JUST LET THAT SINK IN FOR A MOMENT.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:19 pm UTC

There are going to be 649 total pokemanses?

*back in my day there were only 151, and we were damn glad to have them.*
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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meatyochre
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby meatyochre » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:21 pm UTC

pokemen!
Dark567 wrote:"Hey, I created a perpetual motion device"

"yeah, but your poster sucks. F-"

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TaintedDeity
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby TaintedDeity » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:32 pm UTC

Magnanimous:
You spelt 'one hundred and fifty one' wrong.
Ⓞⓞ◯

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Zarq
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Zarq » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:33 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:There are going to be 649 total pokemanses?

*back in my day there were only 151, and we were damn glad to have them.*


What are you talking about? They never made any sequel pokemon.
You rang?

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RetSpline
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby RetSpline » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:36 pm UTC

But... but I liked Gold and Silver...

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby emceng » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:37 pm UTC

Makes me think of Magic cards. I think I would try and play more (and by more I mean I haven't touched them in 10 months) if it wasn't for the douchetastic way WoTC is doing it. It makes them piles of money, but means I don't give a fuck. Playing anymore is either pay a bunch of money on new cards every 1-3 months, or spend a shitload on old cards for special tournaments. Why the fuck does my old lightning bolt have to be replaced by a shiny new one? Then a shinier, newer one next year. And a shiny shinier, newier new one the year after.
When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - CS Lewis

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:04 pm UTC

Red, Blue, Yellow. That is all.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Zarq
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Zarq » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:11 pm UTC

And Pinball!
You rang?

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:15 pm UTC

Zarq wrote:And Pinball!


Rot. Blau. Gelb. DAS IST ALLES!
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby meatyochre » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:17 pm UTC

Oh, very large brown spider on my arm last night. How did you get there? Most especially without me noticing? I walked outside to have a ciggy, came back in, walked upstairs, went to pee, and I discovered you were sitting on my arm. I didn't feel you land there. For all I know, you could have been sitting on me for two hours.

I'm glad you didn't bite me, and I'm sorry I had to kill you. But my laissez-faire governance of your species only extends to spiders not on my arm. If you had stayed in your web, this would not have had to happen. I would not have had to shake uncontrollably and almost cry for 10 minutes while I found a large enough shoe to smash you. I would not have had to lay awake for 2 hours before falling asleep, brushing away every single little itch frantically, thinking it might be one of your thousands of children out to avenge your death.

Mostly I'm sorry that you didn't stay in your web. I hope you're in spider heaven, and I hope your death was instant because I tried to make it so.
Dark567 wrote:"Hey, I created a perpetual motion device"

"yeah, but your poster sucks. F-"

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby LemonyCricket » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:00 pm UTC

meatyochre wrote:Oh, very large brown spider on my arm last night. How did you get there? Most especially without me noticing? I walked outside to have a ciggy, came back in, walked upstairs, went to pee, and I discovered you were sitting on my arm. I didn't feel you land there. For all I know, you could have been sitting on me for two hours.

I'm glad you didn't bite me, and I'm sorry I had to kill you. But my laissez-faire governance of your species only extends to spiders not on my arm. If you had stayed in your web, this would not have had to happen. I would not have had to shake uncontrollably and almost cry for 10 minutes while I found a large enough shoe to smash you. I would not have had to lay awake for 2 hours before falling asleep, brushing away every single little itch frantically, thinking it might be one of your thousands of children out to avenge your death.

Mostly I'm sorry that you didn't stay in your web. I hope you're in spider heaven, and I hope your death was instant because I tried to make it so.


I keep finding Brahminy Blind Snakes in my house. In the last three weeks, I've found three. All in the hallway connecting my computer room, bathroom, and bedroom. I keep thinking one of them will slither into my bed and lay its GENETICALLY IDENTICAL EGGS IN MY VAGINA.

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Cahojama
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Cahojama » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:09 pm UTC

meatyochre wrote:Oh, very large brown spider on my arm last night. How did you get there? Most especially without me noticing? I walked outside to have a ciggy, came back in, walked upstairs, went to pee, and I discovered you were sitting on my arm. I didn't feel you land there. For all I know, you could have been sitting on me for two hours.

I'm glad you didn't bite me, and I'm sorry I had to kill you. But my laissez-faire governance of your species only extends to spiders not on my arm. If you had stayed in your web, this would not have had to happen. I would not have had to shake uncontrollably and almost cry for 10 minutes while I found a large enough shoe to smash you. I would not have had to lay awake for 2 hours before falling asleep, brushing away every single little itch frantically, thinking it might be one of your thousands of children out to avenge your death.

Mostly I'm sorry that you didn't stay in your web. I hope you're in spider heaven, and I hope your death was instant because I tried to make it so.


I understand perfectly. Just replace "On my Arm" with " Crawling up my leg, IN MY BED" and flying up and out and finding something, anything to kill the poor guy.

Also, I think it was more like 2.5 hrs. (Understand this was after the hour of blanket flapping and bed checking)
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby meatyochre » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:27 pm UTC

Cahojama wrote:Also, I think it was more like 2.5 hrs. (Understand this was after the hour of blanket flapping and bed checking)

Yes! I shook out my pillows, blankets, and did the mad spider check before I could even calm down enough to get into bed :(
Dark567 wrote:"Hey, I created a perpetual motion device"

"yeah, but your poster sucks. F-"

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guyy
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby guyy » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:00 am UTC

meatyochre wrote:Oh, very large brown spider on my arm last night. How did you get there? Most especially without me noticing?


A good-sized spider decided to hide on my watch once. Right before I put it on. It was at least as shocked as I was.

Of course, that's nothing compared to the guy in my high-school film class (really dark room full of computers)...a black widow fell out of a hole in the ceiling and onto his arm. :shock: It didn't bite him, amazingly, but I have no idea what it was doing up there in the first place; they don't usually climb up into high places...

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Quaternia
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Quaternia » Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:59 am UTC

Ouch about that spider story...
...Which sadly reminds me...
Spent a summer camping in the Australian Bush.
Went to go take a shower in a communal shower.
Massive big bad spider with a venom that kills you after 15 minutes of agonizing pain was behind door.
Would not recommend.
[I did not get bitten. The thing didn't even move, just stared at me with its evil little beady eyes. And then people wonder why I hate spiders. "Oh but they're so harmless over here..." THIS spider surely didn't just eat vegetables flies.]
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Amarantha
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Amarantha » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:06 am UTC

That's why you need to bring a stick.

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SlyReaper
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby SlyReaper » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:19 am UTC

See, this is why I should never go to Australia. I have a very laid back attitude towards creepy crawlies which works well in the UK where all creepy crawlies are harmless. It wouldn't work so well in a country where every living creature is out to kill you in a variety of interesting and supremely horrible ways.
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby JayDee » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:40 am UTC

Having a laid back attitude you'd fit right in, though.
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:46 am UTC

No worries mate.
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

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Sokh
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Sokh » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:59 pm UTC

No wukken furries (spelling may be slightly off) as my Aussie friend would say.

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Whelan » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:12 pm UTC

Felltir wrote:
Whelan wrote:Pope make Whelan felltir angry.


FTFY

Tim Minchin is always relevant. LOTS of swearing, be warned.
"I like to be understood whenever I open my mouth; I have a horror of blinding people with science"- Richard Dawkins
Weeks wrote:
TaintedDeity wrote:And all I get is this tame space dragon. Where's my recognition?!
A tame dragon is its own reward.

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:19 pm UTC

Amarantha wrote:That's why you need to bring a stick.

My Taiwanese mom tells childhood stories of needing to bring a very large sandal with her whenever she had to go to the bathroom at night. Rat-sized cockroaches and whatnot.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:34 pm UTC

That is one problem living in Oregon. We have many invasive crawlies that enjoy making your life difficult.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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natraj
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby natraj » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:36 pm UTC

*facepalms*

... up until that post I always misread your name as oregano rather than Oregon.

:oops:
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I'll answer your impatient questions. Still --
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The cards and stars that tumble as they will.

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:40 pm UTC

He probably cooks with it, so...not that inaccurate?

Ah, the Pacific Northwest forest creatures. It wasn't until I moved to Texas that I realized just how accepting I had been of the presence of daddy-long-legs and slugs in my life. At least Texas made up for it with singing crickets and endless pill bugs that I could traumatize into little balls as I waited for the school bus in the mornings.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:56 pm UTC

Yeah...you really have to get used to having them around, as you don't have any other choice here.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:02 pm UTC

Last week I espied a MASSIVE daddy-long-legs in the woods by the Lake of the Ozarks. I almost missed the little guys. They're so much more comforting than the brown recluses I keep finding in my newish apartment.

I did some really cruel things to slugs in my day. And it wasn't until years later that I realized just what I had done.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:06 pm UTC

I put a layer of salt around the perimeter of my house to keep the bastards out of my house. The house spiders I can live with, as long as they follow the house rules.

1. Stay the fuck off my bed.
2. No, seriously touch my bed and I will end you in a violent flash of light.
3. Stay away from the Twizzler jar, I have killed people for less.
4. Stay off the electronics, especially my TV.
5. Make webs in my bookshelf and I will kill you and the five spiders next to you.
6. Stay out of the top middle drawer.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby pseudoidiot » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:16 pm UTC

Hey, is that a spider on your bed?
<_<
>_>



*steals Twizzlers*
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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:19 pm UTC

<Aims AR-15.> I'd recommend rethinking that course of action.
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:24 pm UTC

HEY! Chicken pot pie! *thrusts pot pie under Oregonaut's nose*
Oregonaut wrote:I put a layer of salt around the perimeter of my house to keep the bastards out of my house.

My dad used to put out beer traps. He'd exit the house in the morning, find the aftermath of an orgy of drunken, passed out slugs, stab the shit out of them, and then go to work.

The winter we moved all the potted plants into the house and discovered that a bunch of baby slugs inhabited them...good times, good times.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Oregonaut
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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby Oregonaut » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:48 pm UTC

<Replaces AR-15 on shoulder sling.> Noms! <Sits down to happily eat Chicken Pot Pie.>
- Ochigo the Earth-Stomper

The EGE wrote:
Mumpy wrote:And to this day, librarians revile Oregonaut as the Antichrist.

False! We sacrifice our card catalogues to him in the name of Job Security!

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Re: Rant Thread - The Spies of Faith

Postby PictureSarah » Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:48 pm UTC

I discovered a banana slug on my front lawn a few days ago! I...petted it. poor little guy must have ridden in on a plant given to us by my grandmother (over in the redwoods, where banana slugs thrive). He's toast as soon as winter comes. :(
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."


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