2652 wrote:I'm so tired of the whole ”Nobody will love you until you love yourself” bullshit. I do not love myself, I can't remember ever having and you know what? Other people love me just fine. I have a mother and a father who both love me unconditionally, a brother who misses me when I'm away, an SO who wants to kiss and cuddle me every morning, a best friend who trusts me with all his secrets. These people aren't pretending to love me, they aren't secretly bothered by me and they wouldn't be happier if I were gone, yet I can't seem to get this properly in to my own thick head because every time I try a little voice goes “But no, you're not happy and you do not love yourself, that means you have to be a burden, someone they have to pretend to like just to appease when really they just want to be left alone.” Well fuck you too, voice of internalized ableism! All of my good qualities don't just go away because I've had to deal with mental health issues, I'm still thoughtful and intelligent and funny and kind, no matter how difficult it is for me to type, or even think that.
Seriously, can we just as a culture ditch this fucking attitude? Believe me, I get the whole message of personal responsibility and proactiveness and not dragging people down into our irrational misery and it's fine, but lets stop saying that neurodivergent people aren't worthy of love, that we will abuse/be assholes to any romantic partners or close friends due to our hysteric emotions and lets stop pretending that anyone can just love themselves if they try hard enough. While we're at it it would also be lovely if we would admit that crazy people can be legitimately angry or upset at stuff and might actually know the difference between that and irrationality ourselves sometimes.
Half the time I've seen that advice, it's given to people who do love themselves, but are 'merely' unhappy because they can't find romantic love. Talk about your bullshit advice. I'm guessing they're meaning it in a "stop looking, have fun with other stuff, and eventually you'll find yourself in a situation where opportunities present themselves.". Which is also bullshit. So yeah, bullshit on pretty much all counts.