Pirates VS Ninjas

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Uh, so pirates or ninjas?

Pirates!
95
32%
Ninjas!
134
46%
Pirate-ninjas! (WTF?!?!?!)
46
16%
Neither.
19
6%
 
Total votes: 294

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Azrael001 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:22 am UTC

And why is it that you assume that ninja have no sea legs? Seeing that they are the natural enemies of pirates, it stands to reason that they would train at sea.

Also, you can't shoot what you can't see. I believe that the following post by Mr Saladin is an accurate portrayal of what would happen:

Jack Saladin wrote:A pirate could never "take" a ninja in a fight. Not because of the difference in physical prowess, or either being superior in technique. But because there would be no fight.

A fight would be scheduled, sure. The pirates would sail forth in their mighty ship, armed and ready for battle. They'd load their cannons, sharpen their swords, down their liquor. Right on time, they'd sail into the bay on a small, deserted island where the decisive battle is to occur.

There's no one there. The island is clearly devoid of anything more deadly than a palm tree - but, still wary, the pirates stand guard carefully for a time. There is no sound but for the slightest breeze, and the gentle lapping of the waves against the scarred pirate hull. A single leaf twirls its way out of the air to alight on the bow of the boat.

Laughter erupts. Those fearful ninjas, so gripped in terror at the concept of finally facing the might pirate hordes, have tucked their tails between their legs and headed for the hills! A million internet fanboys high-five their Johnny Depp posters, and the pirates begin a long night of celebratory drinking. They set sail for more interesting exploits, heading back to the mainland.

The ship is found three days later. Meals are laid out on tables. There's not a single trace of blood, no bullet holes in the walls, not a single cannonball fired.

And there are no pirates.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Ironmon1 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:27 am UTC

"A shot in the dark" has been known to work before, especially when using shotguns- and it's not that Ninjas have no sea legs, it's just that they aren't as accustomed to it as pirates. and the natural enemy of a ninja is a samurai! =P
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:56 pm UTC

Azrael001 wrote:And why is it that you assume that ninja have no sea legs? Seeing that they are the natural enemies of pirates, it stands to reason that they would train at sea.

Also, you can't shoot what you can't see. I believe that the following post by Mr Saladin is an accurate portrayal of what would happen:

Jack Saladin wrote:A pirate could never "take" a ninja in a fight. Not because of the difference in physical prowess, or either being superior in technique. But because there would be no fight.

A fight would be scheduled, sure. The pirates would sail forth in their mighty ship, armed and ready for battle. They'd load their cannons, sharpen their swords, down their liquor. Right on time, they'd sail into the bay on a small, deserted island where the decisive battle is to occur.

There's no one there. The island is clearly devoid of anything more deadly than a palm tree - but, still wary, the pirates stand guard carefully for a time. There is no sound but for the slightest breeze, and the gentle lapping of the waves against the scarred pirate hull. A single leaf twirls its way out of the air to alight on the bow of the boat.

Laughter erupts. Those fearful ninjas, so gripped in terror at the concept of finally facing the might pirate hordes, have tucked their tails between their legs and headed for the hills! A million internet fanboys high-five their Johnny Depp posters, and the pirates begin a long night of celebratory drinking. They set sail for more interesting exploits, heading back to the mainland.

The ship is found three days later. Meals are laid out on tables. There's not a single trace of blood, no bullet holes in the walls, not a single cannonball fired.

And there are no pirates.

Unicyclist wrote:
kgirlfae wrote:A real ninja will always triumph, even over a boat full of pirates.

Spoiler:
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It's also a well known fact that parrots can sense the presence of ninjas; thus, a ninja cannot sneak up on a pirate.

Parrots, remember?
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:01 pm UTC

With isn't a dirty word.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:18 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:With isn't a dirty word.

What?
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:22 pm UTC

Why?

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby DaMullet » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:27 pm UTC

When?
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:28 pm UTC

Where?

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:33 pm UTC

Who?
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

Ninjas, that's who.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

Oh, I see, the last poster on the previous page used "w/" a lot. And to think I carefully checked my and the previous poster's posts for any sign of anything that made sense. :(
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:44 pm UTC

With is indeed a bad word, though. There's no escaping that.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:59 pm UTC

The Hyphenator wrote:Parrots, remember?

Cats, remember? The ninjas send in the cats first, to take out the parrots. Everyone knows cats beat birds.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby tryptanymph » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:03 pm UTC

Jack Saladin wrote:
The Hyphenator wrote:Parrots, remember?

Cats, remember? The ninjas send in the cats first, to take out the parrots. Everyone knows cats beat birds.

And, as the cats have been trained by ninjas, they should be able to take out a pirate or two, to make the job even easier.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby michaelandjimi » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:06 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:
Jack Saladin wrote:
The Hyphenator wrote:Parrots, remember?

Cats, remember? The ninjas send in the cats first, to take out the parrots. Everyone knows cats beat birds.

And, as the cats have been trained by ninjas, they should be able to take out a pirate or two, to make the job even easier.
The cats may even be Macgyver, who could, probably, fashion a submachine gun from the teeth of the fallen.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Neuman » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:30 pm UTC

Now this is just getting ridiculous.

By which I mean AWESOME.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby DaMullet » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:51 pm UTC

You guys are all overlooking one fact: Pirates are by definition lawbreakers. You know who else were lawbreakers?

The A-Team. Don't have to guess whose side they'll be on. On whose side they'll be.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby EdgarJPublius » Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:27 am UTC

Jack Saladin wrote:
The Hyphenator wrote:Parrots, remember?

Cats, remember? The ninjas send in the cats first, to take out the parrots. Everyone knows cats beat birds.


Remember the other native inhabitants of Pirate ships though?

That's right, rats and monkeys, who, working together, can easily dispatch cats before they even get close to any parrots.
Not to mention cat's natural, pirate related, aversion to water.
Cat's being smarter than most ninjas, know that setting foot or paw too close to the water puts them dangerously close to a pirate attack and therefore death.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby tday93 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:01 am UTC

(in johnny depp-esque pirate voice) "Even if your dressed like a dirty dingy pirate, as long as you talk like this, it isn't hard to find someone to walk your plank"


also, the true cause of global warming is obviously the decline of the number of pirates, so for the simple environmental reason, pirates win
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Azrael001 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:07 am UTC

If you're concerned about the weather heating up, just move north. You'll soon be begging for Global Warming. I say, "Kill the rest of them."
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby tday93 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:37 am UTC

Bitch please, I live in california!


the warm + not sucky part
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Xeio » Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:23 am UTC

Amnesiasoft wrote:There is no Sid Meier's Ninjas because ninjas are not cool enough to deserve a game. There were obviously no Ninjas in the Monkey Island games, proven by the fact nobody died in any way that could be linked to a ninja.

SomeoneElse wrote:Apart from that, I'd say One Piece>Naruto, therefore Pirates>Ninjas. And Monkey Island>Every Ninja Videogame. Most stuff about pirates is way better than stuff about ninjas. Why? Cause pirates won, and are more awesome.

Ninja Gaiden. And that game is so badass it kicks everyone who plays its ass.
Jack Saladin wrote:A pirate could never "take" a ninja in a fight. Not because of the difference in physical prowess, or either being superior in technique. But because there would be no fight.

Your are correct. No real ninja 'fights'. If a ninja is doing his job, you aren't even aware hes trying to kill you untill you're already dead.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Jack Saladin » Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:28 am UTC

It's important to note that at least 16% of the individuals on any given pirate ship are really ninja in disguise.

(In all seriousness, this would probably be how it was done, if we were talking real ninjas vs real pirates. Ninjas assassinated people by getting a job as a gardener for their target, working undercover for a month or so, and then one day decapitating you with the hedge trimmers. That's why all "ninja weapons" look so wacky - they're all really modified gardening and farming instruments.)

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby willwithskills » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:00 am UTC

I think it would definitely be more fun just to hang out with pirates, but ninjas are infinitely more deadly and awesome, so they win.

Also, the best idea I ever heard was "Ghostly robot ninja pirates."
So it goes.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Jack Saladin » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:30 am UTC

Robots don't have souls and therefore cannot be ghosts. Fail.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Xeio » Fri Jul 11, 2008 1:56 pm UTC

Jack Saladin wrote:Robots don't have souls and therefore cannot be ghosts. Fail.

Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirates perhaps? :mrgreen:

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:12 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
Jack Saladin wrote:Robots don't have souls and therefore cannot be ghosts. Fail.

Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirates perhaps? :mrgreen:


Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Amnesiasoft » Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:59 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

With chainsaws for arms?

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:11 pm UTC

The Hyphenator wrote:Oh, I see, the last poster on the previous page used "w/" a lot. And to think I carefully checked my and the previous poster's posts for any sign of anything that made sense. :(

I really need to remember to always quote, and check to make sure there's not another page.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:36 pm UTC

Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

With chainsaws for arms?


I didn't know there was another type. Except maybe with one chainsaw and one Uzi.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Mr. Beck » Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:15 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:
Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

With chainsaws for arms?


I didn't know there was another type. Except maybe with one chainsaw and one Uzi flamethrower/rocket launcher.

fix'd

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Account20151023 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:33 pm UTC

Mr. Beck wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:
Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

With chainsaws for arms?


I didn't know there was another type. Except maybe with one chainsaw and one Uzi flamethrower/rocket launcher/mountain lion.

fix'd


extra-fix'd.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Xeio » Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:42 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:
Mr. Beck wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:
Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers.

With chainsaws for arms?

I didn't know there was another type. Except maybe with one chainsaw and one rocket-powered flamethrower-weilding raptor launcher.

fix'd

extra-fix'd.

Needed a bit more fixin

EDIT: Because there is nothing more deadly than a raptor, except a rocket powered raptor weilding a flamethrower.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:32 pm UTC

Xeio wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:
Mr. Beck wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:
Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers MacGyver Cat.

With chainsaws for arms?

I didn't know there was another type. Except maybe with one chainsaw and one rocket-powered flamethrower-weilding raptor launcher.

fix'd

extra-fix'd.

Needed a bit more fixin

EDIT: Because there is nothing more deadly than a raptor, except a rocket powered raptor weilding a flamethrower.

More fixed.

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby benjhuey » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:04 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:
Amnesiasoft wrote:
BomanTheBear wrote:Ethereal Warforged Wizard Ninja Pirate Vampire Zombie Viking LumberJack Bauers MacGyver Cat.

With chainsaws for arms?

Yes.

Less fix'd, but more reasonable (maybe).
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Xeio » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:20 pm UTC

The Hyphenator wrote:<stupid reference>Oh, wait, ethereal units can't attack.</stupid reference>

Thats what the ghost touch ability is for. :)

Actually, I had a character that used going ethereal with a ghost touch weapon to be basically invincible while attacking. I also believe it was a ninja using ghost step (seriously, the one from complete adventurer).

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby The Hyphenator » Sat Jul 12, 2008 12:56 am UTC

Xeio wrote:
The Hyphenator wrote:<stupid reference>Oh, wait, ethereal units can't attack.</stupid reference>

Thats what the ghost touch ability is for. :)

Actually, I had a character that used going ethereal with a ghost touch weapon to be basically invincible while attacking. I also believe it was a ninja using ghost step (seriously, the one from complete adventurer).

Ha, I wish I were cool enough to make a reference to that. I was talking about Warcraft III.
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Azrael001 » Sat Jul 12, 2008 1:27 am UTC

Xeio wrote:
The Hyphenator wrote:<stupid reference>Oh, wait, ethereal units can't attack.</stupid reference>

Thats what the ghost touch ability is for. :)

Actually, I had a character that used going ethereal with a ghost touch weapon to be basically invincible while attacking. I also believe it was a ninja using ghost step (seriously, the one from complete adventurer).


Actually, it just means that they can't get repaired. They will lose effectiveness over time and eventually break. It is probably best just to sell them now. (The ethereal units that is.)
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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby Amnesiasoft » Sat Jul 12, 2008 1:30 am UTC

So, yeah...

Totally forgot I wrote that :P

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Re: Pirates VS Ninjas

Postby mediocre person » Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:34 am UTC

Ninjas: cool weapons, cool religion, cool asia, cool robes, cool stealth

Pirates: cool lifestyle, cool social structure, BLUNDERBUS!, flippin sweet rides, and everything I read in this book that was awsome. (pirates cove?... no clue as to the title thats my guess, its not actualy about pirates its set in like 1950 newfoundland, but it's cool)

i deduct points from each for thier respective anime shows.
hrmm....
both are still flippin awsome.
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