Stupid People Stories Thread

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Bagels
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Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Bagels » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:32 pm UTC

Post your stories of stupid people you've encountered/ had to work with/ saw at school/ whatever.

Here is mine:

I was rewriting the syllabus for a class where we write articles and post them on the interent. When we want to do links, we write the <a href="url"></a> into the articles to make life easier for the webmasters.

I dedicated an entire page of the syllabus to a guide explaining how to use this basic html code, because most of the people writing the articles are not science majors.

One of the people in the class raised their hand. I thought it would be a technical question. He said that he didn't know what a URL was. I was speechless. He continued that he couldn't understand the new guide at all because he didn't know what a URL was.

I had to rewrite the guide and define in detail what a URL was and where you could find it on the webpage and that they include http://.

How stupid can you be?

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Postby Peshmerga » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:33 pm UTC

I once had the hardest time trying to figure out how to compile my C++ program until I figured out I hadn't initialized main().

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Postby Akira » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:38 pm UTC

I think the absolute wort time I've had explaining something has been any instance in computer science where the teacher asked me to explain something to one of the first year students. ((C++ class, btw))

The majority of them were declaring ridiculous global variables, throwing pointers about without knowing what they were, forgetting braces, semicolons, extraction and insertion operators left and right...

It was horribly frustrating. And don't get me started on grading their papers. 90% of them couldn't write a simple program that added two numbers.
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Postby Silverbolt » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:10 pm UTC

I'm a year one Computer Sciences student and I am obviously surrounded by other Year One students.

All was fun in the programming laboratory until one of them taps me on the shoulder asking "How do you save the program?".

I love it how everyone over here gets into IT colleges because it's a "trend".
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Postby chan the evoker » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:40 pm UTC

I once spent an hour trying to figure out why hello world wouldn't compile before realizing that I was using gcc instead of g++.

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Postby warriorness » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:46 pm UTC

In an attempt to introduce variety to this topic - not that I have anything against computer science - I'm going to tell a story about my kid brother.

Now, my kid brother is one of the most illogical people I know. Perhaps it's because I've known him for fourteen years, and just haven't had enough time to judge anybody else, but the way this kid thinks sometimes is entirely beyond me.

This school year, he became a freshman at the same high school at which I'm a senior. I just got my license last May, and a car in August, and I'm taking a programming class at UNC; therefore, I drive to school. My kid brother, though, would rather ride the smelly overcrowded bus with his "buddies" than ride in a car with me. This would be fine with me, except that he seems to think he has power over me when I am in the car and he is not.

Well, how does that matter? It wouldn't, except that on some days, I get home from school at exactly the same time the bus does. So as I'm driving down the street, a certain overconfident adolescent always runs up to my car and harasses me. Sometimes he walks in the middle of the road, so I have no choice but to follow behind at 2 mph, and sometimes he bangs on the car or jumps on the hood. Yesterday, he ran up and attempted to open the door (he was "trying to get a ride").

When I park and get out of my car, I ask him what makes him think that's justified. Instead of conceding that what he did was dangerously unsafe, he insists on arguing that I am always wrong and he is always right, etc etc. Eventually, I end up telling him that since he doesn't drive, he doesn't know what it's like to be harassed such while driving and therefore should stay away from moving cars. He - in his infinite wit and wisdom - replies, "get a life, you loser".

Sheesh. If he keeps acting stupid around cars he might end up having his life taken from him.
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Postby Bagels » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

Oh, I just thought of another one.

At my college we have bike paths because there's so many people around it's safer to separate bikes and pedestrians.

I was on my bike and I looked over to see this guy riding his bike on the sidewalk, talking on his cell phone AND carrying a bag of groceries in his hand.

Needless to say I steered way clear of him.

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Postby warriorness » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:18 pm UTC

Bagels wrote:Oh, I just thought of another one.

At my college we have bike paths because there's so many people around it's safer to separate bikes and pedestrians.

I was on my bike and I looked over to see this guy riding his bike on the sidewalk, talking on his cell phone AND carrying a bag of groceries in his hand.

Needless to say I steered way clear of him.


I frequently see people biking without using their hands. I've never been able to do it, though. Is it a skill that only certain people can have, or do I just suck?
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yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Postby Gelsamel » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

Try going faster.

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Postby Akira » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:22 pm UTC

Hm. So you can crash at a higher speed? No way. *will stick to using both hands* XDD
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Postby Lani » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:26 pm UTC

Not a specific story, but...
At work, people can report abuse/neglect/exploitation online at our website. We usually encourage professionals (teachers, medical staff, etc) to use this feature so they don't have to wait on hold for 25 minutes.

I am always shocked every time I process one of those reports written by someone like a school counselor, and find that the writer doesn't know basic English and grammar. So many times I'll be reading through it and can't figure out what's going on because of how badly they are written.

*mourns the death of grammar*
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Postby Akira » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:28 pm UTC

lani wrote:Not a specific story, but...
At work, people can report abuse/neglect/exploitation online at our website. We usually encourage professionals (teachers, medical staff, etc) to use this feature so they don't have to wait on hold for 25 minutes.

I am always shocked every time I process one of those reports written by someone like a school counselor, and find that the writer doesn't know basic English and grammar. So many times I'll be reading through it and can't figure out what's going on because of how badly they are written.

*mourns the death of grammar*


*mourns with*
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Postby Bagels » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

No, he was using 1 hand. One hand held the cellphone up to his face and the other hand was holding the bike and the groceries (which were probably heavy). So, he was steering with the same hand he used to carry very heavy groceries and had to dodge people walking. Accident waiting to happen.

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Postby Gelsamel » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:35 pm UTC

The faster the wheels are going the more stable the bike is.

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Postby Alisto » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince a girl that beef comes from cows.

I have overheard the following statements:
"I can't even taste my own tongue!"
"Whoa! When you take a picture of your shadow, it disappears!" (hint: flash)

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Postby Akira » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:50 pm UTC

Gelsamel wrote:The faster the wheels are going the more stable the bike is.


I think you're jsut trying to get me a skinned knee.

Lol, actually, I've tried it, but I alwyas get too freaked out, cos our roads aren't the best. XD
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Postby Akira » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:52 pm UTC

Alisto wrote:I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince a girl that beef comes from cows.


I only just rationlized that one.

What the hell!? O_o;
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Postby shadebug » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:52 pm UTC

back on the comp-sci. In my second year of A-Level compsci (that's the last year of high school for the uninitiated) we had the completely useless head of the IT department teaching half the syllabus (the IT department had a 100% turnover on teachers every year, compsci only had one teacher who was fantastic and is still there for all I know, unless some useless IT teacher got on his tits). Anyway, in our first year we'd learnt the basics of binary trees and this year we were to learn how to traverse them.

For the uninitiated, a binary tree is where information is sorted into a structure whereby you go higher or lower in it depending wether the value is higher. Everything bit of information branches off up or down. So let's say the first entry is H and we're looking for B, we go down one and find D, go down another and find A, then go up one to find B. Simple enough. Let's say we want to add M, we go up one and find X, go down and find L, we find there's nothing going up so we put M there. On second thought http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binary_tree explains it better.

Either way, binary trees are so damn easy to understand that I explained it to my mum and my mum's the kind of person who has been known to call me in another country because she forgot how to copy and paste. So, one of our textbooks had a misprint in an example binary tree. We all took this as a given. The teacher, however, chose to concoct some elaborate explanation of how it made sense (it's binary, if there's an elaborate explanation, you're wrong). So, the six of us in the class all decided to give a different explanation of why he was wrong. He told us all to be quiet because he can't handle us all saying different things to him. Eventually one of our number claimed that his dad, a real comp-sci teacher, had the second edition of the book where they'd corrected it. This was a lie.

Of course it didn't end there, when trying to explain traversal and how to remember how they all work I suggested that pre order means root comes first, in order means root comes inside and post order means root comes after. He decided he prefered somebody else's way of remembering which involved a mnemonic of some sort.

The real problem is that I'd be willing to bet that he left at the end of that year to make shedloads designing access databases for big companies.
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Postby shadebug » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:54 pm UTC

Alisto wrote:I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince a girl that beef comes from cows.


dude, that's nothing, my best friend when i was 9 had a sister who hated raisins but loved chocolate raisins. She'd eat them by the boxfull. When my friend would suck the chocolate off one and show it to her she'd ask where he'd got it from.

Of course, stupidity is allowed from 7 year old kids
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Postby Belial » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:58 pm UTC

I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince a girl that beef comes from cows.


I have a hindu friend (not indian, quite caucasian actually, but he was raised all over that area, because his mom is some sort of diplomat). Ergo, he doesn't eat beef.

We had to talk him down from eating veal, once, because he was convinced it was deer.

We've spent all the time since tricking him into almost eating things, then informing him (quite truthfully) at the last second that it's beef and that he should really be able to identify it by now.
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Postby Alisto » Sun Mar 04, 2007 12:34 am UTC

shadebug wrote:
Alisto wrote:I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince a girl that beef comes from cows.


dude, that's nothing, my best friend when i was 9 had a sister who hated raisins but loved chocolate raisins. She'd eat them by the boxfull. When my friend would suck the chocolate off one and show it to her she'd ask where he'd got it from.

Of course, stupidity is allowed from 7 year old kids


I'll rephrase: I once spent 20 minutes trying to convince an 18-year-old girl that beef comes from cows; a girl who was soon graduating high school and going to school for engineering.

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Postby Jesse » Sun Mar 04, 2007 12:35 am UTC

At least she wasn't becoming a vet.

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Postby fjafjan » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:35 am UTC

At least she wasn't becoming a chef!
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Postby parkaboy » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:43 am UTC

In high school i took advanced english classes. One of our assigned books was Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. A girl that sat in front of my friend and I won the Most Ventilated Head of the Year award with this one:

The books are passed out, and she turns around and says "Is this a smart book?"

*blank stare* "Whatever do you mean, Shauna?"

"I mean, like, am I going to have to think to understand this?"

*blank stare* *blink* *slow nod* "prrrooooobbaaabbllyyyy"

"Oh, Darn!"
-------------------------------
This one is from my guy:

This part is how he imagined the initial conversation went;
Person A to Person B: you know what you should do? you should contact Experian and get an up-to-date copy of your credit report.

so they (person B) in turn write in and ask for a "uptadate" credit report. Not only did they do that once, but they mentioned it numerous times in the letter.

i'm sure there will be more very soon. we tend to push these experiences out of our minds for fear the stupid will latch on and start eating our brains like a virus.

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Postby warriorness » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:44 am UTC

At least she wasn't becoming a farmer!
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parkaboy

Postby parkaboy » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:49 am UTC

Another from Jeff: I have a relative who, about 20 years ago, purchased a new car from a dealership. After two weeks she returned the vehical she returned the car to the dealership complaining the car had no power. She had been driving around the entire time with the e-brake on.

Note from Jeff: whenever i do something foolish, i blame it on the genes from that side of the family.

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Postby aisling » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:53 am UTC

Ugh, what I hate is this kid in my science AND english class. He's just SO STUPID. He bothers people for no reason, and my science teacher makes fun of him on a daily basis because it's just that easy. When he does stupid things in english, my teacher has to supress her laughter. I don't really have any particular stories, but that's because he just does so much stuff that you pretty much start disregarding it eventually. Stupid kid.

Uhm... what else.

OK so I'm sure you guys all understand how the rules of the road work for pedestrians. We pretty much can do whatever we want, as long as we're not j-walking and stuff. I'm a pretty darned good pedestrian, if I do say so myself. Whenever I'm at an intersection, I wait my turn just like the cars do. I wait for the cars who were there first to go, then I go. The other day, I was right in the middle of the street, crossing, and some fat lady in a minivan drove literally inches away from me, in front of my path, to turn right. It was my fricken' right of way. Next time this happens to me (It's happened twice, but with different drivers), I'm going to kick the car, start screaming about them driving over my foot or something, and then sue them. Or I'll somehow dent their car and tell them it was their fault for driving into me. I just really hate bad drivers. Drivers are so awful in my neighborhood. Downtown, drivers are FANTASTIC. But drivers in the suburbs don't understand that pedestrians get more rights than they do. Stupid, stupid people.

And I just wrote a book. Good job whoever read that pointless paragraph.

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Postby warriorness » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:07 am UTC

aisling wrote:OK so I'm sure you guys all understand how the rules of the road work for pedestrians. We pretty much can do whatever we want, as long as we're not j-walking and stuff. I'm a pretty darned good pedestrian, if I do say so myself. Whenever I'm at an intersection, I wait my turn just like the cars do. I wait for the cars who were there first to go, then I go. The other day, I was right in the middle of the street, crossing, and some fat lady in a minivan drove literally inches away from me, in front of my path, to turn right. It was my fricken' right of way. Next time this happens to me (It's happened twice, but with different drivers), I'm going to kick the car, start screaming about them driving over my foot or something, and then sue them. Or I'll somehow dent their car and tell them it was their fault for driving into me. I just really hate bad drivers. Drivers are so awful in my neighborhood. Downtown, drivers are FANTASTIC. But drivers in the suburbs don't understand that pedestrians get more rights than they do. Stupid, stupid people.


Kind of the opposite of my story. I realize that pedestrians always get the right-of-way over cars, and of course I respect that, but I can hardly control my anger when a pedestrian abuses that power to be an ass to the driver. I swear... as soon as I parked my car that day it took all my willpower to resist utterly destroying my kid brother...
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Postby German Sausage » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:40 am UTC

i love living in fitzroy (very inner suburb of melbourne) becasue the cars have NO rights. the road is an extension of my footpath, or my bike lane. this does, however, come crashing down when i go out to the burbs and nearly get collected by big ass-SUVs.
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Postby Aoeniac » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:51 am UTC

I bike with no hands. It's true that it is very stable if you're going faster. The wheels are basically a gyroscope. You can effectively steer by shifting the weight at your hips. Just don't do things like this unless you're on a straight-away without any stops or crossings, because the steering isn't have as responsive as good old handlebars.


You know what pisses me off?

Pedestrians on the bike path.

There are honestly less pedestrians on the sidewalk than on the bike path.
Even though there's a sign that says "wheeled vehicles only" every couple hundred feet.
Because apparently joggers are so full of themselves they think they're not getting in our way by using the bike path.
And the sad part is most of them aren't even joggers, so they're moving even slower.

I made myself a custom T-Shirt for biking with a mock up of those stick-figure type warning signs that had a biker running over a pedestrian and the words "THE SIDEWALK IS THAT WAY!"
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Postby Belial » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:55 am UTC

There are honestly less pedestrians on the sidewalk than on the bike path.
Even though there's a sign that says "wheeled vehicles only" every couple hundred feet.
Because apparently joggers are so full of themselves they think they're not getting in our way by using the bike path.
And the sad part is most of them aren't even joggers, so they're moving even slower.


Wow. It's like the entire drama between road-bicyclists and drivers back in my hometown, shifted slightly to the right

Anyway, on to my story.

So I'm standing in WaWa (an expanded gas station shop, kindof like a seven-eleven with a sandwich shop), and a woman is talking to one of the sandwich preparers, asking questions like

"So, how long is the shorti?"

"six inches, ma'am"

"And how long is the regular?"

"Twelve inches"

And then this gem....

"How big is the two-foot?"

I stopped what I was doing. The sandwich-preparer stared at her.

"Twenty four inches, ma'am"

I really wanted her to scream "TWO FUCKING FEET, NITWIT"
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Postby German Sausage » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:58 am UTC

two FEET of sandwich?
WTF???
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Postby Aoeniac » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:58 am UTC

There are no WaWa's on the west coast. I was completely lost and confused when I was visiting my cousin in Joisey and he said he needed to stop at the WaWa. I was like, "you... need to stop at the water?"
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Postby Akira » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:54 am UTC

Aaaahh... Wawa... <3 I remeber driving all the way to the other side of town cos they had gas for $1.17 when everyone else was up at 1.29..... <3
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Postby Gordon » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:56 am UTC

1) there is a town called WaWa not too far from here (Thunder Bay), they have a giant loon... goose.. possibly a "wawa" if that's a type of bird, I shall take a picture of it one day.

2) WaWa brand stores make the best damn sammiches. Period.
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Postby Belial » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:58 am UTC

It's true
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They/them

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Postby Tractor » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:00 am UTC

LilyoftheShadow wrote:Aaaahh... Wawa... <3 I remeber driving all the way to the other side of town cos they had gas for $1.17 when everyone else was up at 1.29..... <3


I died a little inside when I saw this and remembered I paid 2.47 - 2.63 (2 different states) for gas today.
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Postby Fluff » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:01 am UTC

Tractor wrote:
LilyoftheShadow wrote:Aaaahh... Wawa... <3 I remeber driving all the way to the other side of town cos they had gas for $1.17 when everyone else was up at 1.29..... <3


I died a little inside when I saw this and remembered I paid 2.47 - 2.63 (2 different states) for gas today.


Yous should try buying petrol in England.

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Postby Akira » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:02 am UTC

Fluff wrote:
Tractor wrote:
LilyoftheShadow wrote:Aaaahh... Wawa... <3 I remeber driving all the way to the other side of town cos they had gas for $1.17 when everyone else was up at 1.29..... <3


I died a little inside when I saw this and remembered I paid 2.47 - 2.63 (2 different states) for gas today.


Yous should try buying petrol in England.


I jsut filled up yesterday for 2.49...

whats the prices like in england?
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Tractor
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Postby Tractor » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:03 am UTC

Well I could do that, but the commute would be horrible. And wet.
9 x 6 = 42



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