Stupid People Stories Thread

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Umlaut
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Umlaut » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:15 pm UTC

BVD wrote:
Umlaut wrote:As an aside: people who work at Lowe's, please stop dropping our phones in the toilet. I know you aren't the biggest fan of Spectralink, but those things cost your company like $450 a pop. What's with all the forklift crushed phones too? that freaks me out.

you may have to explain that one a little more

haha and yes, Klye's story is awesome

I work for a telecom company doing RMAs right now, and Lowe's is a huge client. The mobile phones that Lowe's employees carry are Spectralink phones (enterprise IP phones, basically). The number of people who call in with phones that have been dropped in the toilet or crushed by forklifts is staggering (and gross).
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:23 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Maybe he has a video application on his phone? I refuse to believe anyone is that stupid.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:26 pm UTC

Emotional distress in utero!!! Why not? If music can have a soothing effect, why would such offensively loud disturbance not have a jarring effect on an unborn?
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:26 pm UTC

Look at her right hand.

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:28 pm UTC

It's probably herbal. Maybe chamomile. To help with her morning sickness.
Last edited by Angelene on Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:30 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:30 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:It's probably herbal. Maybe chamomile. To help with her morning sickness.
Possibly. Good point, never thought of that.

EDIT: Snopes, I love you. She was smoking a normal cigarette.
Last edited by dubsola on Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:31 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:
CaraInFrames wrote:It's probably herbal. Maybe chamomile. To help with her morning sickness.
Possibly. Good point, never thought of that.

Always happy to help restore folks' faith in humanity.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:35 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Always happy to help restore folks' faith in humanity.
Well, don't give yourself too much credit. That would be one small example, if it were true. But it ain't. Read the followup article. Some choice quotes:

"Thursday morning, Williamson said she knows smoking is bad because people have criticized her since she took up the practice 20 years ago."I really don't pay that much attention to it," she said. "If people don't like it, that's their opinion. They've got theirs and I've got mine." "

"Smoking is estimated to account for 20 percent to 30 percent of low birth-weight babies, up to 14 percent of preterm deliveries and 10 percent of all infant deaths. Asthma is twice as likely in children whose mothers smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day."

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:38 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:
CaraInFrames wrote:Always happy to help restore folks' faith in humanity.
Well, don't give yourself too much credit. That would be one small example, if it were true. But it ain't. Read the followup article. Some choice quotes:

"Thursday morning, Williamson said she knows smoking is bad because people have criticized her since she took up the practice 20 years ago."I really don't pay that much attention to it," she said. "If people don't like it, that's their opinion. They've got theirs and I've got mine." "

"Smoking is estimated to account for 20 percent to 30 percent of low birth-weight babies, up to 14 percent of preterm deliveries and 10 percent of all infant deaths. Asthma is twice as likely in children whose mothers smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day."


Hmm, I was joking. I didn't for one second think the woman in question was smoking anything other than tobacco. And I don't need to see stats. My mother smoked heavily throughout her pregnancy with me, and I was 11 weeks premature and 2 pounds. I am miracle baby. Few are as lucky. That woman is a stupid cow.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby dubsola » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:02 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Hmm, I was joking. I didn't for one second think the woman in question was smoking anything other than tobacco. And I don't need to see stats. My mother smoked heavily throughout her pregnancy with me, and I was 11 weeks premature and 2 pounds. I am miracle baby. Few are as lucky. That woman is a stupid cow.
Ah, I totally missed your sarcasm.

I don't have any stupid people stories with nifty storytelling interestingness. Just the same silly tourists I see every day who don't realise that peak hour travel in London means when they stop in the middle of a walkway to look at a funny picture, they hold up thousands of people. And I can't really blame them for that, they're not really aware that they're doing it.

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Akula » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:41 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:
dubsola wrote:
CaraInFrames wrote:Always happy to help restore folks' faith in humanity.
Well, don't give yourself too much credit. That would be one small example, if it were true. But it ain't. Read the followup article. Some choice quotes:

"Thursday morning, Williamson said she knows smoking is bad because people have criticized her since she took up the practice 20 years ago."I really don't pay that much attention to it," she said. "If people don't like it, that's their opinion. They've got theirs and I've got mine." "

"Smoking is estimated to account for 20 percent to 30 percent of low birth-weight babies, up to 14 percent of preterm deliveries and 10 percent of all infant deaths. Asthma is twice as likely in children whose mothers smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day."


Hmm, I was joking. I didn't for one second think the woman in question was smoking anything other than tobacco. And I don't need to see stats. My mother smoked heavily throughout her pregnancy with me, and I was 11 weeks premature and 2 pounds. I am miracle baby. Few are as lucky. That woman is a stupid cow.


My mother never even had labor with me... I fucking refused to leave. A precursor to my laziness I'm sure...

Anyway, that whole conversation about american "white trash" last night? There ya go. That picture right there. That just about captures the pure essence of american white trash.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Umlaut » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:49 pm UTC

She should also be breast-feeding another baby in the picture.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Amicitia » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:52 pm UTC

Umlaut wrote:She should also be breast-feeding another baby in the picture.

Her husband should be a construction worker.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Akula » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:53 pm UTC

Yes.
Bonus if she's standing infront of her mother's house, because her boyfriend is in prison and she doesn't have a job to support herself.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Akula » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:55 pm UTC

Amicitia wrote:
Umlaut wrote:She should also be breast-feeding another baby in the picture.

Her husband should be a construction worker.


No. As I said above... she'd be unmarried, and the father is in prison for either B&E, DUI, or Assault... or possibly a combination of those.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Ambelie » Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:41 pm UTC

Ok, so I work at Radioshack, and at Radioshack we, at least the store I work at, make a point to check IDs and signatures on credit transactions if there's a picture on the card or not.

Now onto the story.

An older gentleman came in, looking for an car adapter for his CD player. He had the CD player with him, so I looked at the voltage and amperage on it, blah blah blah, got his adapter, everything was going good. Then we got to the register, and did all that, then we got to the payment part.

Me: "Can I please see your card and take a glance at your ID?" (the system prompts for it, and the last four digits on the card)

Him: *points at the picture on the card*

Me: "I need to see an alternate form of ID, to verify the name."

Him: "I've gone all over the world with this card any no one asks for that!"

Me: "I'm sorry sir but I just need to verify the name."

Him: *pulls out ANOTHER credit card, without a picture on it.*

Me: "Do you happen to have something with a picture on it also? Like a drivers license or military ID?"

At this point, I still had his card, and glanced at the back, to find no signature, well since we also verify signatures I needed something with the same name and one on it, AKA a driver's license.

Him: "My picture is right there on it!"

Me: "Well, I also need something with a signature sir."

Him: "No you don't."

Me: "I need something to verify the signatures since you don't have it signed."

Him: "You don't need to do that! You don't need it signed!"

At this point I was pretty annoyed so I stopped trying to be polite.

Me: *points at the back of the card* " 'Card not valid unless signed' "

Him: "Call Bank of America they'll tell you they don't require that!"

Me: "But it says on the back; 'Card not valid unless signed' "

Him: "I'll call them then!"

He then proceeds to pull out his phone and starts calling him, this continues on until he just walks out of the store.

As he leaves the store he looks back, glaring at us, the fact that he probably saw me laughing didn't make matters any better, I was half expecting him to come right back in when he saw me laughing.

I just don't understand people like that, it's really stupid, in the time you took to sit there and complain about our policy, you could have just pulled out your card and got it done with, and got the item you wanted. Now you have to go somewhere else and hope the employees are competent enough to get you what you need. Hopefully though, where ever he went they weren't, and they blew up his CD player. :)

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Umlaut » Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:41 pm UTC

Akula wrote:
Amicitia wrote:
Umlaut wrote:She should also be breast-feeding another baby in the picture.

Her husband should be a construction worker.


No. As I said above... she'd be unmarried, and the father is in prison for either B&E, DUI, or Assault... or possibly a combination of those.

Breaking into his ex's house and drunkenly beating up her new boyfriend, then driving away only to be picked up by the cops a few blocks away?
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:52 pm UTC

Ah I've worked in many a retail position and the old adage 'the customer is always right' is NEVER the case. I got into quite a bit of trouble with managers when I'd correct customers of their knowledge of consumer law...

customer : It's within my consumer rights that if I'm not happy with a product, for whatever reason, that I'm entitled to a refund.
Cara : *smiles ever so sweetly* Well, actually, The Sale of Goods and Supply of Services Act 1980 provides that a customer is entitled to a refund, repair, or replacement if, and only if the good is not of merchantable quality or fit for the purpose intended. Otherwise it's up to the discretion of instore policy whether or not they choose to honour the whims of their clientele.
customer : *glares* I saw it on an ad on tv. I want my money back.
Cara : *smiles ever so sweetly* I studied it in contract law for my degree.

Ok, yeah, it's condescending and pedantic and only ever used as a last resort, but this is dealing with folk that are pig ignorant and convinced that they know everything there is to know after a 30 second segment.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Ambelie » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:02 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Ah I've worked in many a retail position and the old adage 'the customer is always right' is NEVER the case. I got into quite a bit of trouble with managers when I'd correct customers of their knowledge of consumer law...

customer : It's within my consumer rights that if I'm not happy with a product, for whatever reason, that I'm entitled to a refund.
Cara : *smiles ever so sweetly* Well, actually, The Sale of Goods and Supply of Services Act 1980 provides that a customer is entitled to a refund, repair, or replacement if, and only if the good is not of merchantable quality or fit for the purpose intended. Otherwise it's up to the discretion of instore policy whether or not they choose to honour the whims of their clientele.
customer : *glares* I saw it on an ad on tv. I want my money back.
Cara : *smiles ever so sweetly* I studied it in contract law for my degree.

Ok, yeah, it's condescending and pedantic and only ever used as a last resort, but this is dealing with folk that are pig ignorant and convinced that they know everything there is to know after a 30 second segment.


I think one time my manager told me; "The customer is NOT always right."

:)

God, if the customer was always right, retail stores wouldn't be making very much money. :x

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:11 pm UTC

but in the end, the retail store is just the customer of who they buy the stock off, right? >.> so they just have to bullshit their way through too. In the end, it just works out that no-one has any money except the government, because they get all their money from taxes which are obviously unaffected.

as for stupid people stories, it's 4:10 am and I have a lecture at 8:30. I think that counts for a certain meaning of stupid.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Cheese » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:20 pm UTC

At least a different group of people are online. I sometimes get up in the morning ( :o ) so I can converse with different people on the online thingies I frequent.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby KicktheCAN » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:29 pm UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Emotional distress in utero!!! Why not? If music can have a soothing effect, why would such offensively loud disturbance not have a jarring effect on an unborn?


Actually, noise has been shown to help babies develop. The more sound the better, it does not matter if it is music or jackhammers.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Okita » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:45 pm UTC

To Warriorness who has trouble with his brother.

There is actually a really decent way to deal with this situation. Well....at least part of it anyway. You say your brother jumps on the hood sometime? Just coat your room/ hood with silicon fluid or other lubricant. Next time he tries to jump on the hood of your car, he slips right off. And it's his fault for jumping on the car in the first place. Actually my father did this with the monkeys in Six Flags and the roof of our car back when Safari allowed the monkeys to jump onto vehicles. Anyway, depending on the lubricant, you could probably clean it off later too which means there's no trace other than whatever physical injuries your brother gets.

As for when he walking in the middle of the road, maybe just carry a watergun or something in the trunk...

Also, pictures are worth a thousand words when pleading a not guilty case in front of the parents with regards to broken windows. Photoevidence bitches!
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Akula » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:34 pm UTC

Ambelie wrote:Ok, so I work at Radioshack, and at Radioshack we, at least the store I work at, make a point to check IDs and signatures on credit transactions if there's a picture on the card or not.

Now onto the story.

An older gentleman came in, looking for an car adapter for his CD player. He had the CD player with him, so I looked at the voltage and amperage on it, blah blah blah, got his adapter, everything was going good. Then we got to the register, and did all that, then we got to the payment part.

Me: "Can I please see your card and take a glance at your ID?" (the system prompts for it, and the last four digits on the card)

Him: *points at the picture on the card*

Me: "I need to see an alternate form of ID, to verify the name."

Him: "I've gone all over the world with this card any no one asks for that!"

Me: "I'm sorry sir but I just need to verify the name."

Him: *pulls out ANOTHER credit card, without a picture on it.*

Me: "Do you happen to have something with a picture on it also? Like a drivers license or military ID?"

At this point, I still had his card, and glanced at the back, to find no signature, well since we also verify signatures I needed something with the same name and one on it, AKA a driver's license.

Him: "My picture is right there on it!"

Me: "Well, I also need something with a signature sir."

Him: "No you don't."

Me: "I need something to verify the signatures since you don't have it signed."

Him: "You don't need to do that! You don't need it signed!"

At this point I was pretty annoyed so I stopped trying to be polite.

Me: *points at the back of the card* " 'Card not valid unless signed' "

Him: "Call Bank of America they'll tell you they don't require that!"

Me: "But it says on the back; 'Card not valid unless signed' "

Him: "I'll call them then!"

He then proceeds to pull out his phone and starts calling him, this continues on until he just walks out of the store.

As he leaves the store he looks back, glaring at us, the fact that he probably saw me laughing didn't make matters any better, I was half expecting him to come right back in when he saw me laughing.

I just don't understand people like that, it's really stupid, in the time you took to sit there and complain about our policy, you could have just pulled out your card and got it done with, and got the item you wanted. Now you have to go somewhere else and hope the employees are competent enough to get you what you need. Hopefully though, where ever he went they weren't, and they blew up his CD player. :)


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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby TizzyFoe » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:48 pm UTC

while working a kroger (a grocery store)

this isn't really a story of a stupid person, just a really confusing person:
a lady asks me i we have any boysenberry yogurt. I check in the back but dont find any, so i tell her were all out. She exclaims "Well, i have to have boysenberry yogurt TONIGHT!". I still wonder how someone could be in a situation were they NEEDED boysenberry yogurt so badly. Maybe her child was kidnapped by a boysenberry lover and demanded a variety of boysenberry products by the end of the day.

an actually stupid (or just absent minded person):
a coworker and i were working in the refrigerated area behind were the milk is stocked. A customer opens the door containing the whole milk. Seeing my coworker on the inside (behind the whole milk) he asks him where we keep the whole milk. My coworker's answer was that we dont carry whole milk, and the customer continued on his way.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Cheese » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:51 pm UTC

TizzyFoe wrote:an actually stupid (or just absent minded person):
a coworker and i were working in the refrigerated area behind were the milk is stocked. A customer opens the door containing the whole milk. Seeing my coworker on the inside (behind the whole milk) he asks him where we keep the whole milk. My coworker's answer was that we dont carry whole milk, and the customer continued on his way.
Got any photos of people behind milk? Captioning them'd be fun...
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby lamarguerite » Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:41 am UTC

Quick stupid story-
In the computer lab at my high school I was talking with my friend, about something to do with Java, and was quite obviously trying to work out some of my code on a computer when, from an Introduction to Info. Technology student comes the question "Java? Are you talking about coffee?"

somewhat related stupid story.
I got myself landed in the Intro to IT class instead of programming because I decided at one point that AP Econ was absolutely necessary. Needless to say it turns out that AP Econ is totally useless, and also required for graduation, and it is too late to transfer out again.
I am a stupid person.

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby ZeroSum » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:15 am UTC

Cheese wrote:Got any photos of people behind milk? Captioning them'd be fun...
"Oh, hi there. I upgraded your cow."?

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby sethicus » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:05 am UTC

CaraInFrames wrote:Maybe he has a video application on his phone? I refuse to believe anyone is that stupid.


Seeing as you're from Ireland, I will do my best to explain to you how stupid people are at nascar events. Think of your average soccer hooligan, then make the following adjustments:

Roughly half their teeth are missing, or blackish/green
They wear mullets
most of them are in "wifebeaters" (a-frame shirts if that helps you)
Most haven't even completed highschool
They are rude, obnoxious, and have terrible body odor


To be honest, after having worked there through 4 nascar races, I could go on an on. A lot of these people are just plain STUPID.


@cara: oh, and what degree?
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby BVD » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:14 am UTC

I was attacked by a tree today. The only possible thing I could have walked into. In the middle of campus. I must have looked like a freaking idiot to everyone watching. :|

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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Okita » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:51 am UTC

BVD wrote:I was attacked by a tree today. The only possible thing I could have walked into. In the middle of campus. I must have looked like a freaking idiot to everyone watching. :|

That's happened to me before. Trees are vicious.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby sethicus » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:53 am UTC

Okita wrote:
BVD wrote:I was attacked by a tree today. The only possible thing I could have walked into. In the middle of campus. I must have looked like a freaking idiot to everyone watching. :|

That's happened to me before. Trees are vicious.


I was aattacked by a tree while skiing one time. Sonny style. +1 internets for whoever gets the reference.
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Angelene » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:57 am UTC

Sonny of ...and Cher fame. I win!
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby sethicus » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:59 am UTC

+1 internets for Cara.
Compromise: Lowering my standards so you can meet them.

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Malsies
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Malsies » Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:36 am UTC

For a year, I assistant-managed a store at what is called Baywalk. It is basically a shopping/dining plaza in the middle of downtown. All downstairs is retail. All upstairs is bars. So there were always drunk people coming into my store. I have a million stories.

One particular night, it had been pretty slow. There was only one employee working with me. We were about to close. This woman comes in with her daughter, who was six years old at the very most. The woman was clearly pretty trashed. Marvelling at the fact that anyone would bring their small child with them and then get overly intoxicated, I asked the woman if she needed help. She said no, so I let them look around.

After a few minutes, the woman came up to me.

Woman: Can I use your bathroom?
Me: It's broken. (it wasn't really broken, but we were supposed to tell customers that to keep them from going in there) There are restrooms right across the courtyard, though. See? Over there. You can use those.
Woman: Well...can I leave my daughter here with you?
Me: (figuring the little girl is probably better off with me than with her mother at the moment) Sure, no problem. I'll keep an eye on her.

The woman leaves the store, and I show the little girl to one of the couches, and give her a stuffed animal to hold onto. Half an hour goes by. The little girl is now pacing anxiously. I get the feeling that this has happened to her before.

I ask the girl if her mommy has a cell phone, and if she knows the number. Yes, and she does. I dial the number on the store phone. No answer. I try three more times with no luck. Finally, I tell the other employee to keep an eye on the store while I walk the girl to the restrooms to look for her mother. At this point, I'm pretty afraid that I'm going to find the woman passed out in one of the stalls.

We get to the restroom. No mommy. Okay, now I'm just pissed. We walk back to the store, and just as we're about to go in, I hear a shriek, and the woman comes running up to us, fresh drink in hand.

Woman: Oh my god! (to her daughter) Did you steal something, you little brat?
Me: What? No, no! She didn't steal anything. It's just that we had to close the store, and we were getting worried. Is your cell phone on? I had tried to call you...
Woman: Yeah, my cell phone's on. I didn't get any calls...oh, wait...yeah I did. That was you?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Well, I told you I was coming back. (picks little girl up) I think it's time to go home anyway.
Me: Yeah, good idea.

Some people should never be allowed to have kids.
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bigglesworth
I feel like Biggles should have a title
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby bigglesworth » Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:04 am UTC

I know a boy who could not name 10 fruit. We challenged him to, and then he got to 6, and said: Tomato! oh, wait, no...

Now whenever he asks me what a word that i just said means, if i think i can get away with it i say it's a type of fruit. He now thinks that a Bedouin is a type of fruit. :mrgreen:
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

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Toeofdoom
The (Male) Skeleton Guitarist
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Toeofdoom » Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:46 am UTC

One of my friends started calling people "promiscuous" because he thought it meant something like "promising" :lol:
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

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parkaboy
who dwells between the borders of time
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby parkaboy » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:15 pm UTC

well, it kiiiiind of does...
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Pesto
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Location: Berkeley, CA

Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby Pesto » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:23 pm UTC

Malsies wrote:Some people should never be allowed to have kids.

I wouldn't have agreed to watch the kid in the first place, but given that you did, I would have considered calling Child Protective Services after the mother failed to come back.

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yellie
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Re: Stupid People Stories Thread

Postby yellie » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:48 pm UTC

Ok, so this lad is in my class. He's lovely, but a bit dim.

"What colour eyes do black people have?"

"She's from Korea... that's in China, right?"

(talking about my friend from the Philippines.)
Him: Is he an Aboriginal?
Me: Huh? Eh. No, he's from the Philippines.
Him: Oh...
Me: Why do you ask?
Him: I wanted to know what year the Aboriginees colonialised Australia.

I don't think I've ever said "..." out loud before.


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