Bad Queries

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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TheQntty
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Bad Queries

Postby TheQntty » Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:34 am UTC

This thread is for examples of queries gone wrong or queries with humorous results. I'll start with the following anecdote

I was curious of about how many floating point operations per second (FLOPS) my advanced RISC [machine] (ARM) processor could do, so I googled "ARM FLOPS". I am convinced that there is a youtube video for everything.

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:25 am UTC

I'm sure we've all heard of the people who didn't think their cunning plan all the way through when they looked up "man pipe" for the manual for the "pipe" program, or "xxx" for a comic by that name. :P

I've frequently been annoyed by the fact that Google ignores various symbols, making searches for code terms like #define or %random% useless. >_>
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby DesperatMezures » Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:33 am UTC

I was playing the DOS game Abuse, and my buddy wanted to see it, so he Google Image Search'd Abuse, and was frightened. Never again.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby |Erasmus| » Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:52 am UTC

I was trying to google 'hot glue' and ended up typo-ing hot gue, which was not so bad, but google was asking me if i had meant to search for 'hot guy' :/

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Mzyxptlk » Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:38 am UTC

I once searched for "Dr No" on a random torrent site and got the following result

"Search terms with fewer than 3 characters are ignored"
Last edited by Mzyxptlk on Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:23 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Chrismclegless » Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:05 pm UTC

This is just me be picky, but that was also a bad response. It should have used fewer, not less. Am I the only one who gets annoyed at that common error?
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby pseudoidiot » Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:48 pm UTC

Someone I know really likes the Naked brand of juice. She though, "hey, I bet they have a website!" So, she went straight to http://www.naked.com. Let's just say it wasn't for the juice :)
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Mzyxptlk » Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:22 pm UTC

Chrismclegless wrote:This is just me be picky, but that was also a bad response. It should have used fewer, not less. Am I the only one who gets annoyed at that common error?

Actually, I copied that from memory. I forgot which site it was from and the likely suspects all failed to reproduce it.

Still, grammar fail.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:02 am UTC

PHPBB's search is always annoying the hell out of me, either because you can't search for 3-letter words (good luck finding that DS AR ASM hack, etc), the lack of options (search in this forum but NOT this subforum), or a stupidly high minimum time between searches. VBulliten actually has an option - which some people even use - to disallow searches by unregistered users. What the hell.

Semi-related: a program I'm working on displays search results in a list. GTK so helpfully decides to automatically resize the window to fit the list, and I can't figure out how the hell to disable it. Turns out when you have thousands of results, it goes right on ahead and creates a window big enough to crash the X server. :roll: Double fail!

Also:
textpad_re.jpg
And no, it's not because I didn't put slashes around the expression.
textpad_re.jpg (21.07 KiB) Viewed 2931 times
The entire document was:
bah
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby EdgarJPublius » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:20 am UTC

Search cooldowns and not allowing non-registered users to use the search function is because the Search is generally the most resource intensive function for forum software. This makes it a prime target for people wanting to vandalize a forum, and limiting access can also be a good way to reduce strain on larger/more active forums.

On a group project once,a girl in my group was incharge of getting pictures to accompany our presentation. Things were going well until she decided we needed a picture of a fist, and so, google image searched for 'fist'...
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Armadillo Al » Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:17 pm UTC

My mother once tried to find the website for Dick's Sporting Goods, so typed in the 'obvious' dicks.com.

That did not work as well as she intended.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:45 pm UTC

I was trying to put together a presentation about archery. I needed images, so I went on google images and searched for a piece of archery equipment called a "long rod". The results were... not what I intended.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:58 pm UTC

I usually manage to catch myself before I do something stupid, but I needed to get some stuff about the courtship & sexing ritual of Bald Eagles. . .

Don't ask why. Just go with it. All right?

So, I figured "Eagle Intercourse" to be a grand move. Not inherently stupid, you'd think. . . Oddly, that still nets you a lot of pornography. And a lot of stuff about the musical group "Eagles".
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby CivilDefense700 » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:09 pm UTC

Read on Warcraft forum and tried to see if result was the same. Search for Tauren on Google images, look at first image.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby bluebambue » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:24 pm UTC

CivilDefense700 wrote:Read on Warcraft forum and tried to see if result was the same. Search for Tauren on Google images, look at first image.
:shock: You will never be the same


I just get screenshots/artistic renderings of tauren.

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby tryptanymph » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:49 pm UTC

CivilDefense700 wrote:Read on Warcraft forum and tried to see if result was the same. Search for Tauren on Google images, look at first image.
:shock: You will never be the same
Gay... Tauren... Porn...

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:54 pm UTC

bluebambue wrote:
CivilDefense700 wrote:Read on Warcraft forum and tried to see if result was the same. Search for Tauren on Google images, look at first image.
:shock: You will never be the same


I just get screenshots/artistic renderings of tauren.
Safesearch.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby benjhuey » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:05 pm UTC

Remember kids, always use safe search practices.

But seriously, things get better when you take the safe search off. :wink:
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:07 pm UTC

As long as there's nobody around to be offended or create an awkward situation.
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby benjhuey » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:13 pm UTC

Like that guy in the corner videotaping the whole thing.

...I mean, yeah.
多么现在棕色母牛?

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby Sarr » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:15 pm UTC

benjhuey wrote:Like that guy in the corner videotaping the whole thing.

Wait, they found me? Shit! *Runs off*
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Re: Bad Queries

Postby masher » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:54 pm UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:Also:
textpad_re.jpg
The entire document was:
bah


Did you check "Wrap search"? Did you search up or down? where was your cursor?

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Re: Bad Queries

Postby pollywog » Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:16 am UTC

This sort of fits, I guess.

Me and my friend were on acid at another friend's house, and everyone had gone to sleep. We couldn't, so we went on YouTube (for ten hours) and looked at videos of things. We started looking at videos of unicorns, and then my friend says "Give me the keyboard". He googled unicorn central, and we got http://unicorn.dmz.cranfield.ac.uk/uhtbin/webcat as the first result. We couldn't wait to tell anyone, but then we realised they'd all just think we were stupid.
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