If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

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If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby _V_ » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:31 am UTC

Be honest, and think about it--

Would you care?
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Not A Raptor » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:33 am UTC

Honestly, I'd call you insane if you didn't have proof.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby _V_ » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:38 am UTC

Not A Raptor wrote:Honestly, I'd call you insane if you didn't have proof.


Let's say that I did in fact have absolute proof.

No pain involved, just that you know that in one hour's time, you and every other living thing on planet Earth will be dead and destroyed.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Socal Swimmer » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:40 am UTC

i would fap.

then, find the girl i like and kiss her.

finally, try cocaine.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Pirate.Bondage » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:03 am UTC

I would tell everyone I could exactly how I felt about them, then probably have sex with my boyfriend.

Wouldn't want to die a virgin, ha.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby wing » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:48 am UTC

One hour is unfortunately too short to activate any of my end-of-world contingencies. I need at least eight, and preferably FORTY-EIGHT. A phonecall is all I'd have time for. The reality is that that phonecall wouldn't even last until the end - she'd have other people to say goodbye to. I'd probably have a good fifty minutes to try to save the entire fucking planet.

Normally I'd only be open to saving the world by coincidence (i.e. the impending end of the world throws itself in my path as I undertake my final journey) and only if I'll come out the other side alive. However, in the 1-hour timeframe I'd be totally open to selfless sacrifice for the greater good - not because I want to be a hero, but because whatever dark force is at work decided to only make itself known when I fucking don't have enough time to accomplish my final goals - so I'm going to be fucking spiteful and ruin their day at any fucking cost.
Last edited by wing on Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:17 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby podbaydoor » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:52 am UTC

I'd ask you how, then cut you off after the explanation runs over seven minutes. Then I'd tell all my loved ones that I loved them, then go have sex with my SO. On the slim chance that we finished before the final moment, we'd spend the remaining time cuddling and contemplating our imminent futures in hell. (I'm an ex-Christian, he's a Christian currently living in sin, and neither of us can quite convince ourselves about eternal security.)
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a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Xaiv » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:01 am UTC

Spend the hour wondering what the best thing to do during it was . .

And realize that figuring out what to do for the hour in the hour isn't as good as a final act as having sex or something cliched like that.

And cry for the last twenty seconds of my life on earth.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby BigBoss » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:56 am UTC

I'd forget that you told me when I next find something entertaining, and be completely oblivious of whats about to happen.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby hakadosh » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:28 am UTC

I'd go say goodbye to my family, kiss the girl I love and start working on how to stop the world from ending..
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby _V_ » Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:41 am UTC

From your replies, I see that you guys definitely would care.

Why is that?

Unless you think you're going to hell or facing some other post-death misfortunes, there really isn't any reason to worry about it.

Come on baby, don't fear the reaper... and all that jazz.
Really though, I would probably do the same as all you guys are doing. Either that, or I would try to calm myself down and not worry about it at all...

Thanks for the cooperation. I need someone to talk to during a ten day ban from my favorite forum...
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby wing » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:48 am UTC

_V_ wrote:From your replies, I see that you guys definitely would care.

Why is that?

Unless you think you're going to hell or facing some other post-death misfortunes, there really isn't any reason to worry about it.

Come on baby, don't fear the reaper... and all that jazz.
Really though, I would probably do the same as all you guys are doing. Either that, or I would try to calm myself down and not worry about it at all...

Thanks for the cooperation. I need someone to talk to during a ten day ban from my favorite forum...

I wouldn't care so much that the world is ending. I don't give a flying fuck about the world. What I *DO* care about is that I once made a promise - one that I have every intention to keep and will not discuss in any more detail than to say that I require 8-48 hours notice to be able to physically accomplish it. And the 1-hour timeframe prevents me from keeping that promise. This means that the Dark Forces have set out to strip me of the last bit of honor that I have, probably without even fucking realizing it. There is only one choice. They will pay in as many ways as I can make them pay in.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby crickets » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:59 am UTC

Either sex, or dinner.

Honestly, what's the point in saying goodbye if you're all going to die anyway?

Now, if it was just ME dying in an hour, i'd have many people to call and say goodbye too.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby screech » Sat Jan 03, 2009 9:36 am UTC

I think if the world was ending in an hour, I'd go and have breakfast, regardless of what time it was.

I love breakfast.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Torben » Sat Jan 03, 2009 9:59 am UTC

I'd not care, but do some new stuff, find my girlfriend, i'd like to spend it with her. Then, in the last 5 minutes, take a lot of drugs and leave this world as I came in: a gibbering wreck.

EDIT: The soundtrack would have to be something hilarious, any suggestions?
EDIT EDIT: Ooh, or the Jurassic Park theme tune. I'd like to go to that...
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby She » Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:29 am UTC

This.

Nah, not really. I'd probably just give up and sit somewhee and think, and I don't think I'd actually come to any big revelations in an hour's time
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby wst » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:01 pm UTC

I'd just do what I was going to do anyway, wait for an hour and a minute, then reply calling you a cruel sonofabitch for causing loads of babies in 9 months time because of loads of people shagging. And laughing uncontrollably.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby bigglesworth » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:13 pm UTC

Actually, this was one of my favourite parts of Against the Day by Thomas Pynchon.

Spoiler:
So these intruders from the future are trying to persuade this aeronaut that the world will end. "Millions of young men will die in these fields. And the worst thing is that they will go willingly to their graves."

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby dizturbd » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:20 pm UTC

I'd go punch a bear. Or something equally as life threatening and awesome.
I wouldn't care, since there's nothing I can do to stop this apocolypse.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Alder » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:21 pm UTC

My immediate thought was "Drat. I wanted to go dancing at 2..."
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Jos » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:46 pm UTC

Well, no matter the issue I am confident that the spetznas could solve it if only they wanted to.
Sex is a major thing, listening to some to me important music and meeting friends to hang out one last time are other ones. And aw we passed away we'd be singing "American pie"
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby 3fj » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:11 pm UTC

I think you would have to consider the fact that the sex could be really mediocre. That would spoil my apocolypse.

I think i might break in somewhere important, start a riot, something like that.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Hoags » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:36 pm UTC

_V_ wrote:From your replies, I see that you guys definitely would care.

Why is that?
I don't feel particularly scared of death, but hey, there's things I want to do before I call it a day. The world can end when I'm finished!

But if I only had one hour, I'd probably spend half an hour with the family, convince them to pile into the car, drive to the nearest zoo, and drop-kick a lion in the butt.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Shakleton » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:57 pm UTC

I wonder wether the idea of sex in one hour remaining time on earth would work. Surely, with the biological imperative kicking in, it's what most of us would (try to) do. (Life in danger --> Voice in head goes: Reproduce. Reproduce! REPRODUCE ALREADY!) But I think there might be problems in at least some relationships.

For example: Take my relationship

My girlfriend lives a little more than 20 minutes away if I take the car. Since I do not care about speeding tickets or losing my driver's license, let's cut that shorter to 15. 45 Minutes on earth remain. Now, with 45 minutes of time on my clock I stumble into my girlfriends room, the car crashed, heavily damaged or at least terribly parked out the front door. She has this real weird look on her face she gets when somebody parks his car halfway through her doorway and asks me what the hell was going on. Let's improvise a possible answer.
"I just found out the world is ending in *checks watch* 43 minutes. And I didn't want to die alone. I love you!"

Now, what do you think would happen?
Even if she would also see the perfect proof that the world really was going to end.
I don't think she'd jump me and say: "Then let's have sex like there was no tomorrow!" And I don't think a lot of girlfriends/boyfriends would. And think about it. Would you really want to? And, even more important, would you be able to fully concentrate on the physiology between you and your partner if you knew that the whole world would cease to exist in less than 40 minutes? I can only speak for myself but I don't think I could.

tl;dr:
Meet girlfriend -- YES!
Go someplace fun (Burger joint, Zoo, viewpoint) -- > YES!
Kiss her -- HELL YES!
Have sex with her -- probably not.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby RoberII » Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:01 pm UTC

"The world is about to end? Yesss, another excuse to go get laid!"


See, it's a win-win situation.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby TheKrikkitWars » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:47 pm UTC

I'd ring my SO to say bye, ring my Best friend for the same purpose, then go dive off britannia bridge, as I really want to know what it feels like to dive 300+ feet into the water, and on the off chance I swam back to shore in time, I'd go to the pub with my mate and get 4 pints and a packet of peanuts, paying with a 20 and leaving the change.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby bigglesworth » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:48 pm UTC

That last joke is unfortunately a lot less funny now than when it was made... *sigh*
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby RealGrouchy » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:51 pm UTC

Eventually, all live on Earth will die out anyway. You know, when the sun goes gazoom. By that time, there's a decent chance that all traces of human civilization would be long gone anyway.

Even if we did manage to colonize other planets, eventually the universe will cease to exist, and chances are against us finding a way to another universe (or at least a way that we can verify that anyone got there).

So really, in the very long term, no matter how successful you are, it will not have mattered.

So if the world were to end in an hour, it would just mean that in addition to there being no very-long-term meaning to life, there would also be no long term, medium term, or short term, either, in which to have goals and partake in adventure, excitement, and really wild things.

Chances are that most people will be incredulous to the idea that the world will very definitely end, and will keep going about their daily lives. Or, in the case of, say, an asteroid, where there is a definite chance that something bad will happen, many will try to seek some sort of shelter on the sliver of a chance that they will survive.

Religious people will say "see, we told you so!" even though their hypotheses that they will get into an afterlife will probably be wrong (though they won't have a chance to find out). Various nuts will go toward the danger, calling it destiny. Non-religious-nuts might do the same as a form of suicide, out of fear, and/or because they realize that if life survives after the event, human civilization will never approximate the level of sophistication we have today--at least, not within their lifetimes--and they want to avoid that potential suffering. People will riot and some police and military people will try in vain to contain the violence, likely shooting a few people before the hour's up (and squandering their own time).

As for me, I do not know what I would do. If it were to happen an hour from right now, I would have no way of verifying it and would probably get something to eat because right now I am hungry. I might go down to the cellar as a form of protection, or to a potentially more secure area, like at the bottom level of a parking garage (which would probably get buried in rubble anyway if not entirely annihilated). If there's no way to stop it, there's no need to fight it.

But that is all hypothetical. One never knows how one would truly react. One just lives until one ceases to. Thus is life.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Hentzau » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:10 pm UTC

I'd head for the hills, quite literally. There's no way I'm watching the end of the world from an urban area. I'm going for a highly elevated seat, and holding out hope for pretty lights.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby _V_ » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:16 pm UTC

Hentzau wrote:I'd head for the hills, quite literally. There's no way I'm watching the end of the world from an urban area. I'm going for a highly elevated seat, and holding out hope for pretty lights.


|o|, yeah.

I imagine if a huge asteroid was coming towards the earth, and it was positive that we would all die, I would get to the highest point possible and watch the giant ball in the sky until it crashes and kills us all. That's a once in a life(death?)time experience.

I'm actually going to be making a comic series soon that ends like this.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby 3fj » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:19 pm UTC

If its a second flood, i think i'd do the same, grabbing a person who's name is "Tam" just so i can relive the global warming joke from Chewin' the fat.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby fersrs » Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:45 pm UTC

I'd definitely care, I have no clue what's after life. It could be better, but it could be worse. I still have stuff I want to do, and one hour just isn't enough. I'd probably run downstairs, get all the cheese, and eat it as I correspond with people on the internet who know what's going on.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Osha » Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:38 pm UTC

If the world ends instantly:
If it was the summer time I'd go outside and climb a tree, or swing, or bicycle.
If it was the winter time I'd take a long shower or turn up the heat and cuddle in some blankets.

If the world doesn't end instantly:
Climb up a tall hill.

But this is what I'd really want to do, too bad I'm not that awesome :( .

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby _V_ » Sat Jan 03, 2009 10:58 pm UTC

Osha wrote:But this is what I'd really want to do, too bad I'm not that awesome :( .


That would be pretty awesome...
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby podbaydoor » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:04 pm UTC

fersrs wrote:I'd definitely care, I have no clue what's after life. It could be better, but it could be worse. I still have stuff I want to do, and one hour just isn't enough. I'd probably run downstairs, get all the cheese, and eat it as I correspond with people on the internet who know what's going on.

"In the event of the armaggeddon, eat cheese."
Thank you for making my day. XD
tenet |ˈtenit|
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tenant |ˈtenənt|
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a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Liet Kynes » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:09 pm UTC

Attempt to find a means of escape.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Bright Shadows » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:20 pm UTC

The answer depends on the means of destruction.

If some life will survive, and just not humans (disease apocalypse, etc) then I would go running with a cellphone.
Call everyone I cared about, and everyone I didn't, preferably on multiple lines. Screw the phone bill, I'll be dead in an hour. Talk to them from half an hour.
Keep running.
Arrive at someone's house, hopefully.
Tell them something.
Hopefully they won't mind.
Then, I'll probably have about a minute left. Call one more person.
/dead

If no life is going to make it? Nuclear apocalypse?
Roughly the same, except I might drive, and then after that last call, go to the outer edge of the city, and run to Canada.

I want to see Canada before I die.
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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Liet Kynes » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:24 pm UTC

I just assumed no matter what happened all life on Earth would die in an hour.

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby Dingbats » Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:53 pm UTC

I would become a girl and have sex with myself

wait

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Re: If I were to tell you that the world would end in an hour...

Postby She » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:10 am UTC

_V_ wrote:
Osha wrote:But this is what I'd really want to do, too bad I'm not that awesome :( .


That would be pretty awesome...

I feel ignored. But it's ok.
She speaks in the third person
So she can forget that she's me


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