...and that would be why I am scared shitless of birds.
One time, I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with a toothpick because I was all loopy on meds for Lyme disease. I work with kids, so when they asked me what happened I just told them that I fought a lion. I wore sunglasses through most of it, though...
Another time during that..erm...healing process, some kids were trying to catch bugs and managed to knock my aviators off. They were jerky kids who didn't know about my eye, so I decided to cover it and pretend to cry while yelling "ahhhh you got my eye!!!"... When they came over to look, I opened it extra wide, stuck my tongue out, and made "LALALLALA" noises. (They were 10 or 11 year old boys and very insensitive, so it was okay. I'm really not THAT terrible of a person.)
the afforementioned "creepy eye":
The heavily stage makeup'd eye: